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WE ARE ALL DAVID VITTER

David Vitter’s Just Got To Grab Some Cash Quickly, He’ll Be Right Back

A Wonkette airport ATM-monitoring operative ran into profound Sen. David Vitter last night at Reagan National, and they even shared a flight! HE SHOULD BE READING THE BILL THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. Not only did he withdraw cash from an ATM — he probably changed his mind in the heat of the moment and did want the extra kinky stuff, which ain’t cheap — but our operative claims he threw another of his trademark airport fits: “LOL…he is so seriously harassing a gate person.. the flight is 2 hours late….LOL…wait, no!!! he disappeared…damnit.” Exactly.


METRO SECTION

Columbia Heights Still Terrifying As Usual

Columbia Heights: Where white hipsters can watch from a comfortable distance as low-income minorities are murdered. This is what scholars call the “two cities” problem. [Why I Hate DC]
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TRUTH TO POWER

Hey, Buttars, Let The Kid Decide What He Wants For Himself, Okay?

Did you see this YouTube yet! It involves the latest comical statement from America’s most famous super-homophobic state senator, Chris Buttars of Utah: “I meet with the gays here and there. They were in my house two weeks ago. I don’t mind gays. But I don’t want ‘em stuffing it down my throat all the time. Certainly not in my kid’s face.” Ha ha “they were in my house two weeks ago” might be better than the sexual double entendre that follows. Saw a few of ‘em in mah cupboard and had to lay a few more traps; got ‘em good ‘n’ scared for now, but they’ll be back. [Think Progress]



FILM/STAGE

Small Figurines Teach People Important Lessons

Today, November 20 through Thursday, January 3: If you’ve ever fallen victim to being set up on a blind date by your father, you’ll love the play The Fantasticks. Its got meddlesome parents, singing, dancing, and Christmas lights! [Arena Stage] MORE »


PEGGY'S WORLD

Peggy Noonan Takes Delightful Cab Ride Down Fifth Avenue!

Death, it has been omnipresent this annum. Most humans have expired. This datum is known by Mme. Peggington Noonington, a prosemonger famous to children, and regal oligarch wordsmith for the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet. Peggington did not faceth the Grim Reaper this year. For someone who was born in 1820’s London, in the actual Buckingham Palace, this is rare. It is rare for a human to survive into her ninth score. We know this, we feel this. Peggington: cognizant of this. Now it is Thanks-Giving time. Her Thanks are simple. Puritan. Nay. Catholic. Ahh, Catholicism. To be alive, imbibing the firewater of Bean Extract, moving one’s digits swiftly across the input buttons of a Robot: “I am grateful for a great deal, especially: I’m here. I’m drinking coffee as I write, and the sun is so bright, I had to close the blinds to keep the glare from the computer.” MORE »


BELTWAY INSIDERSPEAK

The Sausage Is Piping Hot On Obama’s Taint, Or Something

Look, it’s Obama’s approval ratings over time! Right right right, whatever, who cares, etc. We just wanted to share Marc Ambinder’s full analysis of this: “This: well — it’s been a month of sausage making, and as we learned in July, when the sausage is in the oven, Obama can’t escape the taint of partisanship that Americans seem to be rebelling against.” That’s disgusting, Marc, whatever you wrote. [Marc Ambinder]


TOO MANY STEPS

These People And Their Violence, Sheesh

The “Lafayette County Republican Central Committee” of Missouri — an evil power of greater strength than the Chamber of Commerce and AHIP and Jackie Seal combined, times Halloween — has posted this warning on the highway: when the Second Revolutionary War comes… get your ass to New Hampshire and hide, because war is really scary! [Fired Up! Missouri via Oliver Willis]


POLITICAL EFFECTS OF POLITICAL POLITICS VOTES

Oh Come On Blanche Lincoln, You Are Not Winning Anything

You're young, you'll do well!A new poll from Zogby (grain of salt!) shows Arkansas Democratic Sen. Blanche Lincoln slightly ahead of her possible 2010 opponents for the moment, but when people are asked how they would vote if Blanche Lincoln voted for health care reform, she is losing by double digits. Televised pundits and such will see this and scream about how Blanche Lincoln simply CANNOT afford to support health care reform now, IT WOULD BE POLITICAL SUICIDE! MORE »


UHHHH

Terrifying Homeless Camp Filled With Palin Drones


Laugh all you want, but once the remaining people skinny enough to get on an airplane finally escape the doomed land of America, these slobs will actually have the whole place to themselves. Sarah Palin will be their “Mrs. Everyday President” or something and she’ll promise them dinner at Red Lobster once a year, but the rest of the time they have to stay in their tents, in the endless acid rain, for Jesus. [Plunderbund]


CARTOON VIOLENCE

Asses: Another Installment In an Irregular Series

Cartoon Violence!By the Comics Curmudgeon
As your Comics Curmudgeon demonstrated earlier this year, political cartoonists love butts. Just love ’em! The ass is the most polysemous of images, representing everything from sex appeal to debasement and humiliation to an actual butt. So we’re presenting a panoply of ass shots this week, with a greater emphasis on sodomy. But those of you who aren’t butt fans (even though such a person is scarcely imaginable), fear not! There will also be severed limbs. MORE »


YELL AT ANTHING

Sarah Palin Flees Book Signing, Wingnuts Yell At Inanimate Object

As usual, wingnuts waited in line, in the freezing cold, for several million hours at Sarah Palin’s most recent book-signing event in Noblesville, Indiana. Palin showed up, signed books for half an hour, and was quickly whisked back — along with special guest Mr. Trig! — to her monster Going Rogue bus, leaving ~300 unsigned books. Suddenly the wingnuts decided she is a “quitter” after all! Ha ha ha look at them booing a bus. [Rumproast]