WashTimes To Staff: Uhh… Good News And Bad News?
The Moonie Times’ critically mocked real-life adaptation of King Lear appears to have reached its fifth act, where Rev. Moon expands his kingdom into the burgeoning Mass Funeral sector and then fucks off to Paraguay to die. The Washington Times is laying off FORTY percent of its workforce. But… but not for 60 days so silver lining? Hooray! Plenty of time to choose any of the millions of media jobs on the market right now! Ugh. BRUTAL. Worse yet, the Times issued a press release shortly after giving its staff the bad news, wryly titled, “Washington Times Announces Additional Changes to Become a 21st Century Multimedia Company.” Points for honesty, that. “21st Century Multimedia Company” is code for one that’s fired all of its employees. [Mike Calderone]












Senator Judd Gregg, who only a few decades ago, in 2009, nearly became a domestic policy Cabinet member in the liberal Barack Obama administration, has circulated to his fellow Senate Republicans a
Judging from how hard television producers have already worked to book John McCain on their shows this year, to discuss topics he doesn’t give a flying fuck about, like health care or domestic policy in general or really anything non-deathbomby, he will now probably be on most television shows at all times for the next week or so to discuss his figurehead (Very Serious) role in determining Afghanistan strategy. He even has three programs left today — yeah, that’s right England, you have to put up with this shit too; he’s coming to bomb your “telly” at 19:00 Royal Queen’s Time. And don’t be surprised if he shows up on tomorrow’s episode of Friends, or whatever the top programs are these days. [
ALL NEW YORK GAYS SLAUGHTERED, HOORAY! The barely functional New York state senate somehow got its shit together just enough to produce an orderly vote on a piece of legislation today, and it was “the big one” to legalize gay marriage, and it lost by 10 million points, 38-24. Give that majority whip a bonus! Sorry gay people. [
Barack Obama presented lovers of Endless War last night with their precious tens of thousands of extra troop deployments to Afghanistan, to help the military 

David Vitter may or may not have ever introduced a legitimate piece of legislation into Congress, but he sure knows how to skim the top during the amendment process, for demagogic things to exploit! His press release is like… Barbara Mikulski already introduced an amendment for this, but what does that skank know about jug cancer? David Vitter respects the dickens out of women.
