Wonkette

Death, it has been omnipresent this annum. Most humans have expired. This datum is known by Mme. Peggington Noonington, a prosemonger famous to children, and regal oligarch wordsmith for the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet. Peggington did not faceth the Grim Reaper this year. For someone who was born in 1820’s London, in the actual Buckingham Palace, this is rare. It is rare for a human to survive into her ninth score. We know this, we feel this. Peggington: cognizant of this. Now it is Thanks-Giving time. Her Thanks are simple. Puritan. Nay. Catholic. Ahh, Catholicism. To be alive, imbibing the firewater of Bean Extract, moving one’s digits swiftly across the input buttons of a Robot: “I am grateful for a great deal, especially: I’m here. I’m drinking coffee as I write, and the sun is so bright, I had to close the blinds to keep the glare from the computer.” MORE »

Look, it’s Obama’s approval ratings over time! Right right right, whatever, who cares, etc. We just wanted to share Marc Ambinder’s full analysis of this: “This: well — it’s been a month of sausage making, and as we learned in July, when the sausage is in the oven, Obama can’t escape the taint of partisanship that Americans seem to be rebelling against.” That’s disgusting, Marc, whatever you wrote. [Marc Ambinder]

The “Lafayette County Republican Central Committee” of Missouri — an evil power of greater strength than the Chamber of Commerce and AHIP and Jackie Seal combined, times Halloween — has posted this warning on the highway: when the Second Revolutionary War comes… get your ass to New Hampshire and hide, because war is really scary! [Fired Up! Missouri via Oliver Willis]

A new poll from Zogby (grain of salt!) shows Arkansas Democratic Sen. Blanche Lincoln slightly ahead of her possible 2010 opponents for the moment, but when people are asked how they would vote if Blanche Lincoln voted for health care reform, she is losing by double digits. Televised pundits and such will see this and scream about how Blanche Lincoln simply CANNOT afford to support health care reform now, IT WOULD BE POLITICAL SUICIDE! MORE »

Laugh all you want, but once the remaining people skinny enough to get on an airplane finally escape the doomed land of America, these slobs will actually have the whole place to themselves. Sarah Palin will be their “Mrs. Everyday President” or something and she’ll promise them dinner at Red Lobster once a year, but the rest of the time they have to stay in their tents, in the endless acid rain, for Jesus. [Plunderbund]

By the Comics Curmudgeon
As your Comics Curmudgeon demonstrated earlier this year, political cartoonists love butts. Just love ’em! The ass is the most polysemous of images, representing everything from sex appeal to debasement and humiliation to an actual butt. So we’re presenting a panoply of ass shots this week, with a greater emphasis on sodomy. But those of you who aren’t butt fans (even though such a person is scarcely imaginable), fear not! There will also be severed limbs. MORE »

As usual, wingnuts waited in line, in the freezing cold, for several million hours at Sarah Palin’s most recent book-signing event in Noblesville, Indiana. Palin showed up, signed books for half an hour, and was quickly whisked back — along with special guest Mr. Trig! — to her monster Going Rogue bus, leaving ~300 unsigned books. Suddenly the wingnuts decided she is a “quitter” after all! Ha ha ha look at them booing a bus. [Rumproast]

BEN NELSON WILL NOT INCUR THE PROMISED/FEARED WRATH OF YOUR WONKETTE: The Democratic Senator will vote “aye” on the health care bill, ergo the celebratory Americana disco accoutrement at left. “This weekend, I will vote for the motion to proceed to bring that debate onto the Senate floor. The Senate should start trying to fix a health care system that costs too much and delivers too little for Nebraskans.” Fine, Ben Nelson, you are excused from time-out. [Omaha World-Herald]

Yes yes yes yes. One million copies please. [Tea Party Movie]

That bespectacled Palin fangal, that one from the line the other day, is very taken aback at the liberal bias of facts! Recall Norah O’Donnell gently reminding this human-wearing t-shirt that, you know actually, Sarah Palin supported the bailout. “Where did you hear that?” this Jackie character demands to know, in earnest. It’s excruciating. Anyway, Jackie has some TUFF WORDS for sly Norah O’Donnell that she’s posted on her blog, “Red White and Conservative,” which actually appears to be nothing more than a poorly executed surrealist epistolary novel. MORE »

GOOD THING YOU ARE ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW, AND NOT IN A SEX POSITION: A polite congratulations offered from a distance to the city of Washington, D.C. today, which the CDC just named the country’s #1 gross hotspot for highest rate of STDs. D.C. STD rates are three times that of Virginia and four times that of Maryland. Who knew those Late Night Shots people were even still alive? [My Fox DC]