U.S. Economy In Trouble? Call Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris recently and forcefully reminded us in a masculine manner that he would single-handedly turn Iraq into a manly democracy ruled by the iron fists of Chuck Norris. Now Bloomberg markets columnist Mark Gilbert has learned that Chuck Norris is also the brute-force answer to America’s collapsing economy, and here are a few examples:

* Chuck Norris doesn’t target inflation. He roundhouse-kicks it until it begs for mercy.
* The Chuck Norris dollar buys 3 Canadian dollars, and trades at parity with the euro.
* Chuck Norris doesn’t supply collateral, only collateral damage.
* The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries.
* When the yield on a Chuck Norris bond goes up, the price also rises.

Chuck Norris’s Tears Might Solve Credit Crunch [Bloomberg]