Rahm Emanuel, Amnesiac Douchebag Extraordinaire

“As an amateur student of constitutional history and as a member of Congress, I have come to the conclusion that the Senate was a historic mistake,” said ADE Rahm Emanuel yesterday. Rahm, you see, is the 4th-ranking Democrat in the House and he’s a sad little fucking asshole panda because the Senate can’t just do everything he wants. So, obviously, they’re just a waste of space.

Oh, really, Rahm? Really? Was the Senate a mistake, Rahm, when they Democrats in it were blocking a bunch of Bush’s right-wing judges a couple years ago? Was it a mistake, Rahm, when the Democrats in it were making it impossible for your Republican House colleagues’ constitutional amendment on gay marriage to see the President’s desk? Was the Senate a fucking mistake, Rahm, when the Democrats in it were using those arcane rules and roadblocks to keep a whole host of legislation you found abhorrent off the books for the previous 6 years strictly because the Senate was designed to give the minority party some rights? See, as an amateur student of fucking history myself, Rahm, I recall something from high school civics that the Senate is actually designed to slow the process down, so that the douchebags in the House who have to get re-elected every 2 years and thus spend their time pandering to their constituents and grandstanding don’t run the country into the ground trying to be popular. But, hey, you know, politics aren’t cyclical or anything and the Democrats will control Congress forever, right, Rahm, so who gives a shit about minority rights now? Down with the Senate! To hell with checks and balances! Off with their heads!

Oh, and fuck you.

All the Makings of a Carnival, Except the Fun [NY Times]