• February 11, 2012

It’s that damnable O.C.S. bug that’s been plaguing Hope everywhere! Barack Obama, King of Hawaii and Kansas and Africa and Illinois and, what else, Spain, has a cold and cannot govern America.

According to the Dallas Morning News, our immortal leader sometimes poses like the mortals, like Jesus did when he was a carpenter:

He stopped his opening remarks at a roundtable discussion on predatory lending to clear his throat, explaining that he’d been campaigning in a climate colder than the mild temperatures of San Antonio. At least once during the discussion he hacked a terrible cough.

This “terrible cough,” according to political insiders, sounds eerily similar to a Deval Patrick speech from 2006.

Cover your mouth [Trail Blazers]

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