ALL (OTHER) BLOG COMMENTERS MUST DIE: What happens when you write a political blog post suggesting all commenters are half-literate racist morons who write the same ALL-CAPS crap regardless of the post’s subject? [Political Machine]
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{ 68 comments }
THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD COLUMN KEN LAYNE YOU MUSLIM TERRORIST MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE MICHELLE OBAMA LOVING AMERICA HATER TERRORIST
What I want to know is do the half-literate ALLCAPS commenters who commented on your blog post about half-literate ALLCAPS commenters realize you are talking about them? Or, more likely, as you note, they probably do not actually read the post; they just spew ALLCAPS hither and yon, and you are lucky enough to be a spewee. Hooray!
Easy there, Ken. We’ve got a long way to go, and you’ll never make it at this level of rage. Save some of it in case WALNUTS wins.
I FELT THAT COLUMN WAS INADEQUATE AND BLACK
MORNOS!!!
Well now, bite my hynie, this blogging shit is so fucking ELIIST…who knew?
Someone please explain to Peggy what a “wonkette” is.
Peggy 10:13PM Jun 1st 2008
Ken, no one has yet explained to me what a “wonkette” is but the last four letters indicate it is a little something or other. Did you mean to make a point with this article. If you think you did, I would like for you to find a blogger I saw on several other posts. His name is gopherit. He drinks, too. And admits that he really likes his alcohol. He should have slept off his hangover by now, had a few more drinks and be ready for an intelligent (?) exchange with you.
NO U
I SEE THAT THE ILLUMINATI HAVE FINALLY BOUGHT YOU OUT KEN
CONSPIRACY THEORY, CONFUSED METAPHOR, CONSPIRACY THEORY ABOUT MEDIA, SECOND CONFUSED METAPHOR, FAKE QUOTE!!!!
“Ok, we’ll just stop blogging and you’ll have to get a real job.”
Indeed. Did you ever think about that Ken? If someone stopped blogging, you’d have to get a real job? Huh? Wait…
@kenlayne:
From the Political Machine comments: Wow you call this literate Jouralism? I call it Opinion. You should not be writing, as anybody can rant about their opinions. No substance here.
Like flies to shit, honey. Like flies to shit.
Actually, wow, someone posted a long rant about Obama with like three different variations on Hussein. If you’re going to be a racist asshole, at least be consistent about it.
Did anyone catch the cover story in the most recent New York mag? It’s basically about a Brooklyn blog (The Brownstoner), and one insane, schizoid commentator (“The What”) on that blog. This commenter sounds exactly like our own Tony the Tiger.
My theory is that there is exactly one insane, schizoid person somewhere in a basement who is responsible for all the crazy, ALL-CAPS bullshit posted on blogs everywhere. This person is a national hero, and should be given a Pulitzer.
Hopefully in 2012, at the end of the world, we’ll all suddenly get a warm, fuzzy feeling inside and then *POOF* we’ll all just disappear, except Hillary Clinton, who will be left to rule the world. Alone. Forever. And the deserted hell that will be Manhattan will be her dominion until the end of time.
[re=2733]jagorev[/re]: There’s a guy who comments WaPo political blogs often as “JakeD” and only refers to Barry as “Barack HUSSEIN Obama”. He is Tony’s lost brother, or love child, or even maybe Tony himself.
[re=2733]jagorev[/re]: By the way, where is Tony? Did he die in the moving process or something?
Way to go, Kenny-Boo! You’re so sexy when you’re angry, and elitist.
I guess you three would know as well as anyone.
[re=2741]Doglessliberal[/re]: I read a bunch of finance blogs where some guy posts who has the EXACT SAME modus operandi as Tony or “The What”, or half of the commenters on Politico.
Seriously, Politico comment threads are the filthiest cesspool on the internet. Everyone who posts there should be sterilized.
If I was designing online publishing software, I would put in a code that scanned for strings of all-caps and automatically dropped any string of 3 or more cap letters back to lower case.
I would do this just to be mean.
Ken, I promise not to upset you with the use of all-caps. I promise to not comment on politics, much. I don’t want to get on your bad side. How’s this font?
Oh, Ken. People have always been fat, stupid, idiotic, slobs. The internet just provides a window into their trash filled psyches and homes.
What makes this truely hilarious is that under the article are a bunch of half-literate racist morons who write the same ALL-CAPS crap regardless of the post’s subject? Oh the irony.
wait we fogot to add that they just spam their message throughout the whole blog and don’t even engage in discussion. copy, paste, reply, repeat.
****”When space-monster archaeologists visit the ruins of Earth, they’ll find a very detailed record of the 2008 campaign, preserved in the browser cache files on millions of computer hard drives.”****
Why, just the other day ronaldpagan and I were wonderin’ that happened to those browser cache files. Thank you, space-monster snarkeologists!!!
I AM MAKING A VERY IMPORTANT POINT RIGHT NOW AND EVERYONE SHOULD LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE YOU CAN TELL FROM THE CAPS THAT I AM USING THAT I AM CONVICTED AND THAT IS ENOUGH TO CHANGE THE WORLD BECAUSE EVERYONE LISTENS TO COMMENTS BECAUSE OF OUR MALIGNANT SELF-IMPORTANCE. IT IS VITAL TO MY SELF-ESTEEM AND I KNOW YOU ALL CARE SO MUCH BECAUSE I AM WRITING IN all caps.
Tsk. Ken just gave away West Virgina and Kentucky.
I say we go with Sara. She has no problem attracting blue collar workers – usually in wolf-packs.
I FEEL Y’R PAIN, LAYNE.
Ken, why so mad?
Join me as I just hoist another drink to the spectacle of the ignorant, all while building my apocalypse-proof bunker somewhere in the Great Plains…just in case.
I hope most of this country decides to rapture itself, leaving the rest for the rational
I love that this is an actual comment from that blog post…
vlg9:43PMJun 1st 2008
These are sad days for America when only a few can silence the voices of its citizens. It is becoming too common for the will of the many to be vetoed by the will of the few. Something is broken and has to be fixed!
SOUTH DAKOTA AND MONTANA: Please make a statement for all of us. Let the pundits and the politicians know that we are not going to take it anymore! Your votes matter very much!!
In America, it’s not we, the politicians; or we, the pundits. No, in America, it’s WE, THE PEOPLE!
A Texan for Hillary from Day One!
I LIKE MY ALL-CRAPS.
I bet you wrote that elitist, Muslim, misogynist gibberish on your elitist “Macintosh” using your snobby “Firefox” whilst swilling lattes in a San Francisco madrassa. You, sir, are a traitorous male chauvinist pig.
PS – do you know when the new version of Firefox is supposed to come out?
What exactly is the penalty for douche-blogging? Hard time, or do they just get a keyboard-rinse?
I admit I am illiterate. And bitter. I am a functioning bitter illiterati.
[re=2773]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: All Caps? Check. Unabashedly and hysterically off-topic? Check. Non-coherent sentences, conspiratorial references, a freak-out about things the commenter misunderstands? Check, check, and check.
There were no misspellings just to fuck with Ken’s mind.
Ken Layne is the editor of Wonkette?
“bigoted half-wits”?
Hey!
Ken says I’m half-literate now! He’s warming up to me!
IF YOU DON’T MIND A LITTLE COPYEDITING, KEN, YOU SHOULD HAVE USED THE TERM nonliterate, WHICH PEOPLE CAN READ BUT THEY DON’T. LIKE SHORTS3, I TOO THINK MY WORDS ARE SELF-IMPORTANT, AND I DODGED SNIPER FIRE.
[re=2766]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Nice try, but your decent grammar and nicely spelled sentences are evidence of your obvious allegiance to the elites. Try Bitter 101 at your local community college.
We really should bring back the word “imbecile,” though I’m not advocating that the medical definition be revived. It’s just so apt when it comes to lengthy ALLCAPS posts. Virtually all such posts can be described as “imbecilic.” It not only describes the content of such messages, but also the frantic tone ALLCAPS brings to any sentence.
@WonksRunAmuck:
I think I’ll come back to this post tonight after a few drinks and try again. Better yet- I’ll make sure it’s Budweiser.
I’m much more worried about snarking in the voices of other people so much that I lose any sense of what I actually believe.
[re=2773]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: I heard about 20 versions of that on various stories over the weekend, and it just made me angrier every time. Look, idiots, get angry at your state party leaders who broke the rules after being told they’d be sanctioned. Sadly, logic, reality, and facts are useless against the Hilldusa, who like the mythical beast, perpetuates two new lies for every one that is cut off.
@ lumpenprole
Have you heard the Patton Oswalt bit about not being allowed to use “moron” on network TV because it’s a medical term?
We should just start calling the dumbs “Wheelchair Brain” and rating them in Yearbook Sores.
[re=2732]tunamelt[/re]: I like to play a little game. Each day I check the latest chain emails that are going around on snopes.com, then I see how many I get at work or how many parts of them end up in comments on blogs. That one guy, who used Hussein alot used the quote about where barry would side with muslims. Hilariously, it’s a real quote, but the fact that it’s missing it’s surrounding sentences makes it totally out of context. It’s fun!!!
[re=2837]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Perhaps mix in a little Makers Mark, I hear that’s what they feed their annointed leaders. It may help get the right mind-set going.
Oh, God, I laughed myself silly, er.. sillier, nearly bepissing myself with mirth. Well played, sir, well played.
Though I admit to a moment of relief upon the realization that when the mob rises up in a body to stone the snarkers, they’re gonna go for Ken first and give the rest of us time for a few more figurative steps towards the metaphorical door. So, again, we should thank him for his sacrificial snark (resembling a sacrifice bunt only not).
In the end, of course, everybody must get stoned.
[re=2858]RaptorAvatar[/re]:
keyboard cripples?
THAT POST IS ABOUT ME!!! I KNOW IT”S ABOUT ME…COMMIE!
[re=2870]mookworthjwilson[/re]: My variation on that game is how many of those emails come from my mother.
[re=2887]tunamelt[/re]: The other day I got this one at work: http://www.snopes.com/photos/automobiles/diamondmercedes.asp Don’t ask me why anyone would send this to their state legislator.
[re=2896]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Clearly the Saudis are beyond material possessions. This car has “ALLAH” and “HUMILITY” written all over.
STFU YOUR SO RETARDEF! U CANT SILANCE TEH WILL OF THE PPL!
Sincerely,
Senator Hillary Clinton, D,NY
Hillary ’16. The ONLY candidate for space-monster archaeologists.
I too post because if I dont [sic] I will be angry the whole day.
——————————
Kay10:19PMJun 1st 2008
Awwwwwwwwww Ken so sorry that we stupid people don,t entertain you. I post because if I dont I will be angry the whole day. You see Ken you idiot As an American I am so fed up with people like yourself trying to push hussein obama on us.
Why don,t you go and get another drink.
Actually, I’ll probably be angry the whole day anyway.
[re=2924]Ulrike_Meinhof[/re]: From now on all apostrophes SHALL BE changed to commas, for Jeebus.
[re=2936]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: ¡You know’ when people can.t “punctuate” it make’s me mad?
[re=2924]Ulrike_Meinhof[/re]: who is this hussein obama guy? is he barry’s little half-brother from when his terrorist mother was sexing saddam????
YOU KNOW WHATZ DISTRUBING? THERE IS A TJ WHO POSTS ON KENS BLG AND HE IS A CLINTONITE> DAMMIT I”M THE ONLY TJ AROUND HERE.
TJ9:21PMJun 1st 2008
KEN LAYNE, FIRST OFF, I LOVE MY CAPS.
NEXT, I THINK YOU DRANK SOMETHING TODAY, YOU’RE NOT YOUR USUAL SELF.
IN A TWISTED WAY, I WANNA DRINK SOME OF WHAT YOU’VE BEEN DRINKING. THAT WAY, I CAN JUSTIFY THE WHIRLING HEAD I GOT READING YOUR POST.
WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU…
[re=2960]TJBeck[/re]: I wondered for a minute if that was you, with some kind of performance art blog comment.
[re=2960]TJBeck[/re]: Yes. I do have respect and platonic admiration for you, but I DID think that was you on Political Machine. I wept, prostrated and licked Jeebus’ mid-section in fear.
damn, somebody has a day job! (or a night job, not sure)
first time i see a picture of you, i didn’t know you had a beard. i always thought you were a hot babe with big sweater puppies, but then again, i’m always a bit off about such things.
Who doesn’t love ALL CAPS?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewc1hixzYPY
[re=2924]Ulrike_Meinhof[/re]: So who is this guy voting for? Hillary? McCain? Satan? I’m unclear.
Ken, I don’t know if it was a good idea that you put your picture up there, because you look like that guy…at that coffehouse…with the open-mic every other Thursday.
[re=2885]lumpenprole[/re]: Totally, they already type like they’re wearing mittens and using their noses to handle punctuation. Why not just treat it like it’s medical instead of just a product of some failed attempt to insulate themselves from acknowledging global warming?
God, I just reread that and realized that the comment section devolves through either several layers of self-parody or simply plummets into complete retardation.
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