• February 13, 2012

Terror FistingFOX NEWS DISCOVERS ‘TERRORIST FIST JAB’: Yes they can! Our favorite teevee news says Michelle and Barack Obama’s cool move with the Respect Knuckles is actually a secret Muslim fisting ritual for Terror. Jesus fucking christ these Fox News people need to die, of terror fisting AIDS, because they’re not even funny anymore. [Gawker]

{ 81 comments }

shortsshortsshorts June 9, 2008 at 8:07 pm

The terrorist question has been answered already. The real issue now is what KIND of terrorist is this man?

NedPepper June 9, 2008 at 8:12 pm

I would not call it a cool move, I would call it in the hood and what are we to expect if these two get elected gym suits and basketballs in the oval office? Hey somebody, tell this guy and momma their running for the White House sports as a lifestyle does not make it.

steverino247 June 9, 2008 at 8:14 pm

Never interrupt your enemy when they’re making a mistake, it’s bad manners.

Let Fux Newts keep doing this insane shit and they will lose credibility with anybody with more than five teeth in their heads.

Smoke Filled Roommate June 9, 2008 at 8:16 pm

I expected nothing less from FistFux News..

AngryBlakGuy June 9, 2008 at 8:17 pm

…Im waiting for John McCain’s obvious attempt at being “Hip & Cool”. Maybe he will attempt to hi-five Cindy or maybe refer to a black staffer as “My Nigga”

Smoke Filled Roommate June 9, 2008 at 8:18 pm

[re=11504]steverino247[/re]: Don’t talk about WV that way..

AngryBlakGuy June 9, 2008 at 8:22 pm

[re=11501]NedPepper[/re]: …and I assume John McCain will turn the White House into a geriatrics home right?

Gopherit v2.0 June 9, 2008 at 8:22 pm

E.D. wants a “terrorist fist pump” in the worst way. Make her beg for it Barry…..then tell the racist bitch to fuck off.

Smoke Filled Roommate June 9, 2008 at 8:23 pm

[re=11506]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Or calling his diapers ‘Pends and daily vitamin ‘Fitty Cent(rum).

ronaldpagan June 9, 2008 at 8:24 pm

Hahahahaha…speak for yourself, Layne, I thought “terrorist fist-jab” and this entire segment were hilarious. Although not in the way Faux intended.

Gopherit v2.0 June 9, 2008 at 8:25 pm

[re=11501]NedPepper[/re]: YUeah….calling your wife a cunt, that’s what we expect from a real president.

You = dumbass.

tsunami June 9, 2008 at 8:26 pm

keith just showed michael jordan and charlie sheen in a
commercial doing a terrorist fist bump…and, superlative
journalist that he is, declared them obvious terrorists.

i knew it!

my friends, smerglefratz not conundrum whizzit mccain president
pissant bomber. oh god.

Rodney Badger June 9, 2008 at 8:26 pm

[re=11506]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: McCain can’t raise his hands any higher than his shoulders. Maybe he’ll grab Cindy’s tits or something.

Gopherit v2.0 June 9, 2008 at 8:26 pm

[re=11511]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: FTW

Johnny_Zhivago June 9, 2008 at 8:28 pm

[re=11506]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: More like “who let the dogs out, hoo, hoo???”

AngryBlakGuy June 9, 2008 at 8:28 pm

[re=11511]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: …or maybe do a “rap” and “dance” like Karl Rove!

Gopherit v2.0 June 9, 2008 at 8:30 pm

[re=11518]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Spinner rims on the front wheels of his walker?

NedPepper June 9, 2008 at 8:31 pm

[re=11509]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: My point being, the knucks reflects a lack of class on the part of Barry and the Mrs. Try acting like you have won something before, would be my advice to them. Streets not for everyone, it re-enforces the concern many hold for Berry. As far as Mcnuggets I will not vote for him.

AngryBlakGuy June 9, 2008 at 8:33 pm

[re=11513]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: …no real presidents leave their wives for women half their age!

[re=11515]Rodney Badger[/re]: …if we are really lucky he might punch in the throat by mistake.

ronaldpagan June 9, 2008 at 8:33 pm

I approve of any graphic replaying this beautiful fist-pound. But a question for Michelle…who the fuck gives a thumbs up during their “terrorist fist jab?” Also, I’m surprised more people haven’t gone with the angle that misogynist Barry patted Michelle on her (fantastic) ass.

[re=11521]NedPepper[/re]: Oh Lord, you are one of the most racist commenters we’ve had here in a long time.

Gopherit v2.0 June 9, 2008 at 8:34 pm

[re=11521]NedPepper[/re]: Pssst. It’s okay. You can say he’s black and that scares you. We’ll make fun of you, of course, but you can say it.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 9, 2008 at 8:34 pm

I hate to disagree with Fox News, but this is clearly a sign between Michelle and Barack to show how they expect to crush Whitey between them.

NedPepper June 9, 2008 at 8:35 pm

[re=11513]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I care not what McNuggets calls his wife, I would not vote for him, but I do not believe he would get his horn scrapped in the oval office.

weirdiowasculpture June 9, 2008 at 8:36 pm

Personally, I want to see Barack and Michelle start doing the chest bump.

jagorev June 9, 2008 at 8:36 pm

[re=11501]NedPepper[/re]: Tony?

Rodney Badger June 9, 2008 at 8:37 pm

[re=11533]NedPepper[/re]: Bob Barr? Amirite?

Gopherit v2.0 June 9, 2008 at 8:37 pm

[re=11533]NedPepper[/re]: Dude, if you’re “horn” gets “scrapped” you are doing something very, very wrong.

Hmmmm…..hates McCain and scared of obama. I smell a paultard.

Gopherit v2.0 June 9, 2008 at 8:38 pm

[re=11536]jagorev[/re]: Sad to say, but Tony’s usually more erudite.

Could be, though.

Gopherit v2.0 June 9, 2008 at 8:40 pm

[re=11538]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Hey toolbag. Your.

NedPepper June 9, 2008 at 8:41 pm

[re=11536]jagorev[/re]: You are correct have we met?

Atomic Punk June 9, 2008 at 8:41 pm

Sheen and Jordan? Who cares.

Try Bush Sr. and Kournikova.

http://www.imperfectunion.com/?p=177

weirdiowasculpture June 9, 2008 at 8:42 pm

See, when two black folks do a knuckle bump, that’s obvious terrorism, but when the honky president and a honky military school graduate do a full-on homoerotic chest bump, that’s patriotism. See?

Gopherit v2.0 June 9, 2008 at 8:42 pm

[re=11536]jagorev[/re]: You totally deserve a star for catching that one.

AngryBlakGuy June 9, 2008 at 8:46 pm

[re=11521]NedPepper[/re]: …wow, the economy is in the shitter, we are at war in 2 foreign countries, 3/4 of the population cant afford health care, unemployment has jumped a half point in a month and people are “concerned” about how a candidate celebrates a victory with his wife? I think I would be more concerned if my candidates entire staff is on the pay roll of telecommunication lobbyist or if he has flip-flopped on nearly everyone of his stances or if my candidate has a problem remembering things he has said a month earlier or if my candidate calls his wife a “c%nt” in public or if he admits to not knowing a whole lot about economics or he as threatened to kick a fellow senators ass in a fit rage! I can go on for a couple more paragraphs but I dont want to waste your time with such inconsequential issues; especially when you have fist bumps to worry about!

ronaldpagan June 9, 2008 at 8:47 pm

[re=11536]jagorev[/re]: [re=11549]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Wow y’all are quick! I was thinking Tony doesn’t usually start out so obvious, but who really understands him?

If there’s one thing we can take from this exchange, it’s this:
Obama fist jab = 3-6 Mafia Oscar win. And both scenarios brought tears of joy to my eyes.

NedPepper June 9, 2008 at 8:58 pm

[re=11551]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Once again, I will go slowly for you, Berry is going to need to draw in many types of voters and cool moves don’t translate to votes in many cases it puts some people off. As far as McCain and his problems, their his and the repubs, I wont vote for him. Do you want me to cut my wrists and bleed blood on the keyboard to atone for mocking Berry???????

josereyes.theroof June 9, 2008 at 8:59 pm

The Five Percent Nation… of Barack Hussein Obama.

WhatTheHeck June 9, 2008 at 9:02 pm

I’m surprised Fucks’ News didn’t suggest it was a Black Power fist salute.
Or even Fists of Fury directed at the Man.

AngryBlakGuy June 9, 2008 at 9:13 pm

[re=11568]NedPepper[/re]: …and once again EVEN SLOWER for you! If someone is concerned more about fist bumps than the disrepair of the country then they are DUMB ASSES!!! People who don’t have the faculties to actually focus on issues that really matter, were the very one that got us bogged down in situation we are in now. If you want people to make good decisions you stoop down to there level instead you lift them up to your own. If Barack Obama wants to fist bump because he just became the Democratic nominee for president there isn’t ANYTHING wrong with him; there is something wrong with the people who cant see past that!

AngryBlakGuy June 9, 2008 at 9:19 pm

[re=11588]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: …plenty of typos for those of you who love to correct me! Thats what I get for eating with one hand and typing with the other. Enjoy!

William Tecumseh Sherman June 9, 2008 at 9:21 pm

Actually, Fox News might have a point. If you slow down the footage and read Obama’s lips, he is clearly saying “Allah Akbar!”

RuperttheBear June 9, 2008 at 9:23 pm

[re=11511]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Yeah, and he’ll be “gettin some ‘Cil.” Say what? “Metamucil. For the ‘larity.”

NedPepper June 9, 2008 at 9:26 pm

Ok, you’ve gone to far, I’ve cut my wrists the bloods running off the keyboard and pooling on the floor, serenity now serenity now. If I’m found dead, know that I left thinking I regret that I did not buy more carbon credits. Are you happy now Angryblakdude?

RuperttheBear June 9, 2008 at 9:26 pm

[re=11501]NedPepper[/re]: Dude, if the gym suits are velour, I’m all down wit it. Or “wid it.” Anyhoo, an Episcopal priest friend of mine does the fist bump. It’s as culturally threatening as Bill Cosby.

NedPepper June 9, 2008 at 9:29 pm

[re=11598]Rodney Badger[/re]: I can’t help but notice that the quality of your post are beginning to degrade, are you off your meds????

NedPepper June 9, 2008 at 9:35 pm

[re=11603]RuperttheBear[/re]: I have run political engagements and I will tell you perception is 90% of the end product. I don’t care if Berry knock knucks but it will cost him votes with certain demographics. It is all about being elected not being street, street does not play everywhere.

dilhavarti June 9, 2008 at 9:43 pm

[re=11501]NedPepper[/re]: Hey Ned. Nice post. Thanks for the tip.

READ: The new reactionary bigot is cask of Amontillado… after all, Vitriol has lost it’s elan since losing Congress.

Can I get a douche-douche?

catastrophina June 9, 2008 at 10:21 pm

Ok, now that the initial freak-out about this has subsided…I really wish Facebook would let you “Terrorist Fist-Jab” someone rather than merely “poke.”

Gopherit v2.0 June 9, 2008 at 10:44 pm

[re=11602]NedPepper[/re]: I know I am…..c-ya in hell, Tony.

SayItWithWookies June 9, 2008 at 10:46 pm

Is this news, or did someone slip me some acid? Or maybe it’s just that Fox News has nothing. Have they realized yet that underneath Barry’s modest coiffure lurks a huge Huey-Newton-style afro just waiting to burst out? How can you let your wives and daughters sleep at night knowing what tumescent, savage blackness lurks out there, waiting to be elected?

obfuscator June 9, 2008 at 11:01 pm

When Barry’s elected, I hope Nike releases a limited edition Obama Air Force One. “Obama 44″ on the back. I am a dork.

Neilist June 9, 2008 at 11:13 pm

[re=11598]Rodney Badger[/re]: Rodney: Don’t hold back like that, son. Tell us what you REALLY think.

wonk_the_heck June 10, 2008 at 12:21 am

this one has a Lieberman terrorfist, scroll down a tad:

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/6/9/211925/3492/892/533051

the terrorfists are winning

tunamelt June 10, 2008 at 12:33 am

[re=11536]jagorev[/re]: It took a long time for our resident crazy to find us again.

nachoproblem June 10, 2008 at 12:41 am

[re=11521]NedPepper[/re]: This concern you’re talking about… you mean the concern that if elected, Obama will hollah for some mothafuckin iced tea? That is certainly a legitimate concern, for many falafel-obsessed sex-offenders out there. And they are a major voting block.

yes, we can (drink heavily) June 10, 2008 at 12:48 am

[re=11751]tunamelt[/re]: I’m a bit disappointed. I was hoping we’d be able to find a resident crazy who can form coherent sentences. We really should raise our standards.

Democratica June 10, 2008 at 12:53 am

[re=11751]tunamelt[/re]: Can we get one who uses better grammar, pls? I hate reading crazy when it’s all run together and spelled funny…

AnnieGetYourFun June 10, 2008 at 12:55 am

Did anybody watch this thing the whole way through? Did I miss the part where the “terrorist” fist jab was discussed in any “depth”, or what passes for depth on Fox News?

My MOM gave me a fist bump the other day. If a Hillary supporter can do it, anyone can get over it.

[re=11752]nachoproblem[/re]: And you win my award for the most snaps in a single response.

Democratica June 10, 2008 at 12:59 am

And what the FUCK about W and that chest bump nonsense a couple of weeks ago? Do we have also have art on his keg stands somewhere? You just know that fucker has a beer bong in the bottom drawer of the Resolute. I absolutely love that white jock/frat boy shenanigans can pass muster around this country while a man and his wife can’t enjoy one public dap without people losing their shit.

Magsbe June 10, 2008 at 1:02 am

Anecdotal evidence is worthless, but my ancient whitey of a grandmother thought the fist bump was the “just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen – is that what you kids do these days?” So now she and I are doing it whenever we meet.

Barack Obama: giving old white women a chance to feel cool again.

nachoproblem June 10, 2008 at 1:09 am

[re=11762]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Thanks, I try.

I didn’t hear them say anything else about terrorist fist-jabbing other than the one-liner, but I expect this is just going to be their style of subliminal messaging from now on. “Here we have Obama attacking McCain over energy policies today. Is this a call for fiscal responsibility? Is it a jihadist fatwah from the Blame-America-First crowd? What do you make of it?” …and so on. No further discussion necessary.

AnnieGetYourFun June 10, 2008 at 1:22 am

[re=11769]nachoproblem[/re]: But but but… yeah. I suppose that’s pretty much how it’s going to go. But “terrorist fist jab” was really out of… right field, I guess. I mean, even I could jokingly refer to Barry’s policies at fatwas, because, you know… they’re both edict-like? But a terrorist fist jab? Who IS that dingbat? Even by Fox standards, that was a little odd. If the tone had been slightly altered, I would have thought she was an infiltrating Wonkette operative.

TGY June 10, 2008 at 1:43 am

Rupert Murdock better get a-movin’ on changing Fox’s tune, since he’s declared Barry the rockstar of politics and all.

Otherwise, I see a sudden plethora of dildos shaped like Barry’s hand.

nachoproblem June 10, 2008 at 1:44 am

[re=11774]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Okay, maybe my example wasn’t extreme enough. But I’m sure you can figure out the proper analogy. We’re living in the land where head-scarves are accused of murderous intent.

Anyway, I think it flies just because you can’t, as a talking head on TV, give the most obvious and sensible response: “WHAT did you just say? Is it a TERRORIST FIST-JAB? Do you have a fucking BRAIN TUMOR, BITCH?!?!?!?!?” The only alternative is to keep blathering on about whatever and pretend you didn’t hear it. Meanwhile, people who are “tired of HOO-sane” will lap it up without question.

villageatrois June 10, 2008 at 2:24 am

[re=11594]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:

“Thats what I get for eating with one hand and typing with the other. Enjoy!”

First, you hafta spritz your keyboard with Isopropyl Alcohol. Warning! Don’t drink it (any more). That’s where Jamacane started to go wrong.

villageatrois June 10, 2008 at 3:03 am

Here’s what I sent to Fox. If you can’t get me on the phone in the morning, you know what to do and who to do it to.

“You are butt-ugly Racist Fascists. I don’t want you to die, personally, but I want Sir Rupert of Mordor to be dispatched, and forthwith.

Can you see him from your dismal little cubicle? Do you have a handgun in your purse?”

Smoke Filled Roommate June 10, 2008 at 4:57 am

[re=11655]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Have they seen that new summer blockbuster, “Birth of a Nation”? I hear it’s all the rage in certain circles..

freakishlystrong June 10, 2008 at 8:15 am

[re=11501]NedPepper[/re]: Yeah, but chest bumping and acting like a complete assclown at the Airforce Academy is kewl, right?

RuperttheBear June 10, 2008 at 8:38 am

[re=11610]NedPepper[/re]: The point is that this is “street” like “Mod Squad” was “cool.” If you think it’s street, you were lost to the cause anyway.

Securicom June 10, 2008 at 8:51 am

Biderberg Group info at infowars.com

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Canuckledragger June 10, 2008 at 8:56 am

[re=11568]NedPepper[/re]: “Do you want me to cut my wrists and bleed blood on the keyboard to atone for mocking Berry???????”

Could’ja? That’d be mighty white of you.

BTW: Who says “bleed blood?” Like, what else would you bleed? Motor oil? Salad dressing? Crazy glue? Panda tears?

This ESL dropout “haz run political engagements.” That’s a Tony-brag fersure. I’m still waiting for Hopey’s Rezko indictment, Tiny Trigger. It’s only been three months since you got that hot tip from a DOJ ‘inside source.’ What’s taking Fitz so long, Tiny?

sarcasticusername June 10, 2008 at 9:58 am

@AngryBlakGuy: the most shocking part about mccain calling a black staffer “my nigga” would be that he had a black staffer to begin with. him being a racist fool wouldn’t be much of a story.

@ronaldpagan: michelle gave him the thumbs up AFTER the pound, so it’s not quite as disastrously dorky as it could have been. i’m actually quite shocked good old geraldine ferraro hasn’t taken to the airwaves to rant about the ass slap yet. clearly barry hates his wife, and by extension all other women as well. next thing he’ll have her on a leash a la snoop and his classy lady friends.

Doglessliberal June 10, 2008 at 10:11 am

yeah, Faux news, we all know how often the militant Islamic terrorists consort with women, let alone touch them in public. That makes a great deal of sense.

lumpenprole June 10, 2008 at 12:58 pm

The Concern Troll killed what should have been a really funny thread. We’ve been cheated!

problemwithcaring June 10, 2008 at 1:11 pm

[re=11528]ronaldpagan[/re]: Black radio (Tom Joyner) all over the ass-slap. Conclusion: It’s a man thang, baby!

raider12 June 10, 2008 at 1:25 pm

The congratulatory fist bump is something that is done on golf courses all over America. Since golf courses, especially the more exclusive private ones, are overwhelming populated by white conservatives (with some liberal exceptions such as myself), one would think that the white conservative alleged journalists at Fox would be intimately aware of the meaning of the gesture. Of course, that would require actually being fair & balanced as opposed to fraudulent & biased.

NedPepper June 10, 2008 at 2:45 pm

[re=11837]RuperttheBear[/re]: [re=11902]Doglessliberal[/re]: I’ll leave this issue and move to the next. I go out of my way not to use profanity and insult others here, a free and civil exchange of views does not work for some. I’ll be tap shoeing to the next set of rants.

RuperttheBear June 10, 2008 at 2:49 pm

[re=12319]NedPepper[/re]: Whatevah, dude. We can “rap” later. Cool. Be safe. Word. Rad.

yellowdogdem June 11, 2008 at 7:10 pm

To NedPepper: Would you please stop calling him “Berry.”
If you must use his high school nickname, it’s “Barry.” Nobody
cares if you mock him, you just need to be funny, which you’re not.

shortsshortsshorts June 11, 2008 at 7:42 pm

[re=12319]NedPepper[/re]: You aren’t funny. And this is not a place for a “free exchange of views.” If you’re looking for that, there’s always, uhhhh, a BILLION other blogs. Now don’t be stupid, be a smarty, c’mon join the Nazy party, k?

starstream June 12, 2008 at 4:08 pm

I also heard about that at infowars , I also read about ‘end web game 2012…
all I can say is ‘player haighters!!

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