Sure, Hillary Clinton’s campaign ended like $30 million in the red, but that doesn’t mean our intrepid girl candidate will have to start eating out of soup kitchens. Complicated campaign finance laws and a clever lawyer will somehow manage to spin Hillary’s stack of IOUs into mountains of cash, or at least food stamps, or free tickets to Regal Cinemas, or front-row seats to Mark Penn’s nude public flogging. [Politico]
What’s The Best Way For Hillary Clinton To Launder Her Campaign Money?
Previous post: Meet The Cow Porn Judge!
Next post: Jim Webb Is Totally Not Going To Be VP Of Anything
{ 32 comments }
Front row seats to Penn’s public flogging? I’m attracted and repulsed at the same time….
Trade some pantsuits for grace lessons.
The nude part being the only repulsive bit…
It’s unfortunate that they don’t put debtors in stocks on the public square anymore.
[re=14039]scotterl[/re]: I’ll wait for teh youtubez video with the particularly unseemly parts appropriately edited.
She could form a campaign for 2012, right now, and get people to donate to the cause. As soon as she breaks even, she could then concede the nomination to Dennis Kucinich.
[re=14047]scotterl[/re]: Well, given that the majority of this country lives by racking up massive amounts of debt, while it may be instructive, it would collapse our free-falling economy into a black hole subsequent to a super-nova.
Hire Bill out to speak someplace. Actually, have him speak *while* getting a hummer!
That will raise enough to wipe out the debt in one blow! (groan…sorry)
Looks like Hils should have jumped in with Genn and Paula to get in some of that $1.99 I saw Bill’s Penis Stories.
[re=14047]scotterl[/re]: Actually, she should consider doing that anyway, as a way to raise money. $3 to look, $5 to throw a tomato
“Eating out?” Are you perpetrating that old myth about Hillary’s supposed penchant for poon? Because that would be hot.
Well, there’s some land in Arkansas, see, near this here White River? An’ what we can do is, see, we swap the land fer the debt, then we duh-preciate the asset? An’ then, we re-zone it an’ sell individual parcels as residential acreage that uh … that uh … oh, wait, nevermind.
Fuck, just put it on a credit card and declare bankruptcy like everyone else.
Or she could “earmark” it. She’s still a Senator, after all.
Maybe all of her max contributors will get a nice thank you form letter with an enclosed overdue invoice.
…all but $1 million of her $9.5 million in unpaid bills at the end of April was owed to allies and political firms unlikely to cause her legal or political headaches by demanding prompt payment.
Yeah, but her Senate re-election campaign is coming up and I wouldn’t want to piss those folks off too much.
Hell, flog H. in public, naked, repulsive as it might be. All our
politicians and celebs should be flogged, naked in public. Maybe at
football half-times!
Zhu Bajie
[re=14059]Imagine42[/re]: Great idea! Hillary will finally break into that small donor demographic formerly dominated by Obama.
CC/Hillary2012/20016
CC/BitterHarpiesForMcCain
She could auction off her pantsuits.
[re=14074]graceless[/re]: Are you crazy? You can’t sell that shit! The best she could do is take a write off and donate them to the Yves Saint Laurent museum as an example of his genius gone horribly wrong.
You know she can also take the money of children. I’m sure they have lots of possessions, and can find a job. Nothing says “I support Hillary Clinton” by giving up your childhood.
Does this mean she can give Poor Timmy his bicycle back?
Holy shit ! Those Saudi oil emirs are gonna be wantin’ there money back from the Clinton library.
Debt is so sexist.
if she joined the “girls talking” pay per view website with gennifer flowers and paula jones, i’m sure she could make a cool million i a week.
Where there’s debt, there’s usually high interest payments, late payments or even missed payments.
She’s already borrowed from herself, now she can borrow from Bill to pay off herself.
Let him eat the debt.
Time to get back into the cattle futures market.
She’ll think of something involving Chels soon, I’m sure.
[re=14171]TGY[/re]: Now that David Shuster has given her such a good idea.
[re=14058]ManchuCandidate[/re]: “Looks like Hils should have jumped in with Genn and Paula to get in some of that $1.99 I saw Bill’s Penis Stories.”
Hillaryous has never seen Bubba’s wee-knee. On the night of Chelsea’s conception, she insisted that the lights remain off. Missed her only opportunity to cop an eyeful.
As long as she uses environmentally safe detergent.
National Cornhole-off fundraiser seems like the obvious choice.
Terry McCaulif, the former Chair of the Democratic National Committee, is checking his pulse by showing up as a guest of health insurance executives — the AHIP (America’s Health Insurance Plans) convention. I don’t suppose there are any back door on that convention center?
Sara K. Smith
YOU are my first post since you guys switched over and man and I am excited! I have never missed a site on the Internet more.
I love Hillary. I think she can square away her 30 million by not paying Mark Penn or Harold Ickes. His claim to “fame” was that he was an expert on delivering superdelegates. I don’t want to see Mark Penn naked. But, Hillary will have him so bloodied that you won’t really be looking at Mark Penn anyhow.
Sincerely and respectfully,
Mr-Clark
Comments on this entry are closed.