• February 12, 2012

YOUR LATE NIGHT SHOTS PARTY WEEKEND SCHED, BRO: Pro-laxin’, bro. “LNS will once again be taking its chartered bus out to Bayhawks Stadium for this Saturday’s pro lacrosse matchup. The day starts at Rugby at 4, the luxury party bus leaves 5:45, faceoff is at 7, and all LNS ticket holders get free beer for the entire game. The nightcap post party will be held at Smith Point in Georgetown. We have spots for about 18 more washed-up ex-lacrosse players (male or female) who enjoy drinking cans of Bud Light while listening to Christopher Cross, Go West, Billy Idol and AC/DC.” But what about the hipster chicks and their “lithe vegan bodies,” dood? Who cares about those sluts, bro. Get your lax tix here, dood. [LNS Weekly]

{ 37 comments }

1974 (again) June 13, 2008 at 12:51 pm

This sounds more Gay than DC’s Pride Parade scheduled for that evening. I hope the bus makes it back in time to do both!

SecertAgentA June 13, 2008 at 12:52 pm

Smile for the camera…
Reference Chick 1A: “Look Mom I’m representing!”

loudmouthredhead June 13, 2008 at 12:55 pm

Best use of a confederate flag ever. Well, other than that novelty toilet paper I saw once…

freakishlystrong June 13, 2008 at 12:56 pm

Dude, I think I got an STD from that…

Q2 June 13, 2008 at 12:57 pm

When will people learn that the confederate flag is not a fashion statement? It is a cultural artifact signifying our historical struggle to free the Barack man from servitude. Half a million Americans died in that struggle! Such a display soils the memory of those who made the ultimate sacrifice and those who were freed as a result. If I was at that party I’d rip that flag off that thoughtless bitch faster than you could say “what you do then daddy?”!

Gopherit v2.0 June 13, 2008 at 1:00 pm

I guess I can see the appeal to lacrosse-playing chicks to an LNS-guy. Their ability to remove their dentures probably makes up for their butterfaces, at least for a Tuesday Night Takedown.

loudmouthredhead June 13, 2008 at 1:00 pm

[re=15500]Q2[/re]: And you’d do that SOLELY to honor those who died in the civil war? mm-hmm

S.Luggo June 13, 2008 at 1:01 pm

Are the roofies free or do you have to bring your own?

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 13, 2008 at 1:01 pm

Christopher Crosss and Go West? GAY.

Anonymous June 13, 2008 at 1:03 pm

All aboard the douche express

Botswana Meat Commission FC June 13, 2008 at 1:04 pm

Pray for bus crash.

Mr Grumpy June 13, 2008 at 1:06 pm

I’m finally back in! Talk about getting stuck in the digital wasteland.
All this pent up snark is not healthy. Thanks Sarah, Jim, Ken and Christopher.

I’ve said all along that Lite beer causes brain damage. LNSers are the proof.

Botswana Meat Commission FC June 13, 2008 at 1:07 pm

Lacrosse has the potential to be an interesting sport, except you’d have to associate with the kind of people who like lacrosse.

Q2 June 13, 2008 at 1:12 pm

[re=15504]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Frank Zappa knows. Errr…knew.

shortsshortsshorts June 13, 2008 at 1:16 pm

[re=15509]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: If it happens, I had nothing to do with it. NOTHING (mwah).

SecertAgentA June 13, 2008 at 1:16 pm

Contemplates the fact that she has an LNS login. Does that make me guilty be association? *ponders*

ThreeFingersNeat June 13, 2008 at 1:20 pm

I was on Prolaxin once, but one of the side effects is that it makes you desire light beer, lame music, and douchey friends. I’d rather take my chances without it, and I don’t think cynicism is terminal anyway.

ThreeFingersNeat June 13, 2008 at 1:23 pm

As fast as the GOP ship is sinking these days, I expect quite a few LNSers will be thrown under this bus.

Suck on that a-one time, mixed-metaphor nazis!

ThreeFingersNeat June 13, 2008 at 1:24 pm

[re=15531]SecertAgentA[/re]: No, it makes you a mole. C’mon, spill it all, enquiring minds want to know!

SecertAgentA June 13, 2008 at 1:28 pm

[re=15549]ThreeFingersNeat[/re]: Hmmmm, mole you say? Maybe I should just send a mass invite to all the wonkette posters…it would be interesting to see a massive take over. >:)

jagorev June 13, 2008 at 1:29 pm

This just proves that lacrosse is the gayest sport in existence.

Mista Eko June 13, 2008 at 1:40 pm

As a former lacrosse player (who like most played because I wasn’t good enough for soccer and tough enough for football), I bemoan the way in which the sport has been lost to douchiness and cannot be salvaged. It had potential.

AfghanVet June 13, 2008 at 1:46 pm

I think they forgot to mention the free McCain bumperstickers.

ThreeFingersNeat June 13, 2008 at 1:51 pm

[re=15557]SecertAgentA[/re]: If you can do that without them knowing who you are, by all means go for it! Invite me at coldpisa [at] gmail [dot] com.

If it means you might lose your coveted insideryness, then no, we’ll just have to live vicariously through you. After all LNS, like lacrosse, is a spectator sport!

SecertAgentA June 13, 2008 at 1:55 pm

Agent A Mole Report:

OOOOO…LNS has now made a post of this article/ comment thread to link the LNS’ers to the Wonkette site. Strangely there are no posts commenting on the LNS. Screen Shots available :)

Q2 June 13, 2008 at 1:57 pm

As a former center middie I cry foul to those who would denigrate the fine sport of lacrosse. With the speed of basketball, the contact of football, and the strategy of soccer there is no finer game. Yea though the penny loafer crowd playeth this game, wussies will get their ass whooped and whooped good. Yes…THERE IS BLOOD :-) and those who deny the merits of lacrosse are obviously individuals who hate our Native American Indian, who hate the freedoms the Founding Fathers gave us, and who probably root for the Redskins on Sundays. Is there no limit…no shame…to the ends such persons will go to promote their bigoted heritage destroying culture terrorizing prejudices?

Kittenloss June 13, 2008 at 1:59 pm

This kinda makes me want to move to d.c.-the part about the preppie douche wanting to meet “lithe” hipster women.

It’s like the “Outsidera” except instead of greasers and squares it’s hipsters and squares.

“Wear skinny jeans and pretend to hate your job.” That is some solid strategizing.

RuperttheBear June 13, 2008 at 2:04 pm

[re=15613]Q2[/re]: Nothing personal, but the douche incidence rate among lacrosse players is twice that of rugby and football players, and five times that of the general population.

Except in New Jersey, where pretty much everybody’s a douche.

Truculent June 13, 2008 at 2:07 pm

[re=15510]Mr Grumpy[/re]: It took almost a week and the intervention of Mr. Layne and a passel of techies to get my account going again. My gain, Wonkette’s loss

shortsshortsshorts June 13, 2008 at 2:16 pm

I’m not gay (I think), but I would gladly rape any LNS asshole.

liquiddaddy June 13, 2008 at 2:25 pm

This whole thing made me sad to realize we might never see any more photos of a sun burnt, naked Jenna passed out on a concrete picnic table, or falling on a skeezy bar room floor sporting haphazard nippledge. My hat is off to greatness. Party on, oh princess.

Gopherit v2.0 June 13, 2008 at 2:31 pm

[re=15646]liquiddaddy[/re]: There’s always the coming divorce. Don’t lose heart.

Joey Ratz June 13, 2008 at 2:35 pm

No amount of free alcohol (and especially not Bud Light) would make me attend a party where Christopher Cross is the music of choice.

Mr Blifil June 13, 2008 at 2:57 pm

Is the confederate flag bikini supposed to be code that she’s ready for some Mandingo action?

TGY June 13, 2008 at 3:29 pm

[re=15719]Mr Blifil[/re]: I believe it’s a subliminal message that the Confederacy has gone ‘tits up’, as they say.

schvitzatura June 14, 2008 at 4:43 am

You left out “Feels Like Heaven”, by Fiction Factory from the LNS set list…

Mr-Clark June 17, 2008 at 1:09 am

Jim Newell,

Christopher Cross…um…Christopher Cross…Oh Yeah! The terribly unattractive guy that didn’t quite make the leap from radio to video. I used to think The Buggles “Video Killed the Radio Star” was written just for him.

Sincerely and respectfully,

Mr-Clark

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