• February 13, 2012

CRAPPY FATHER’S DAY! The unwanted stepchild of Mother’s Day reminds us that American presidents are pretty shitty at being dads, too. [Political Machine]

{ 29 comments }

Harvey Birdman June 16, 2008 at 12:58 am

Do you ever read the comments over there or just post and flee?

Ken Layne June 16, 2008 at 1:01 am

[re=16598]Harvey Birdman[/re]: Mostly the latter. That’s a bad neighborhood. And by “bad” I mean “lots of crazy retarded people.”

TJBeck June 16, 2008 at 1:02 am

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/4011/goyasaturnchalupavj5.jpg

Here’s Saturn Devouring a Chalupa. I made that a while back, and never thought I’d have the occasion to use it again.

Ken Layne June 16, 2008 at 1:03 am

[re=16600]TJBeck[/re]: And a time for every purpose, under heaven …. but not that, really. JESUS CHRIST GOYA’S SATURN IS EATING A CHALUPA.

Cicada June 16, 2008 at 1:12 am

Whew! There’s some real winners over there. My fave:

Susan5:08PMJun 15th 2008

How can you call Obama a good father?

A good father would never have taken his children to that racist, hate-mongering church or had them baptized by that sick old pervert Reverend Wright.

If that is your idea of a good father I hope you never have any children.

Pig.

The loverly Susan not only seems to have confused Rev. Wright with a Catholic priest, but she wants to put a hex on your man bits, Ken.

What did you do to that poor woman? Is it really so hard to call the day after?

SayItWithWookies June 16, 2008 at 1:33 am

Don’t forget George H.W. Bush — I have no idea what kind of father he was (though everyone seems to be terrified of Barbara) but his spawn developed into the very highest class of criminals. All the upperclass connections and attitudes coupled with the very worst of destructive fuck-uppery. Hell even Reagan turned out one decent not-too-fucked-up kid, dancer, atheist and talk-show host Ron Jr. George Pre-Dubya, on the other hand, is batting a thousand.

shortsshortsshorts June 16, 2008 at 1:45 am

[re=16601]Ken Layne[/re]: The comments on Political Machine are awesome. YOU JUST WAIT YOU WILL UNDERSTAND AND EVERYONE WILL HATE BARRY AND STUFF WILL HAPPEN THAT INVOLVES THE CAPSLOCK AND HOLY SHIT BLAHHHHHH. Okay I will read the article now.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 16, 2008 at 1:52 am

How can Barack be considered a good father. His poor kids will always know that he doesn’t love them enough to dump his current wife for a much younger and richer woman or to hit on any white trash female that flashes her thong.

mookworthjwilson June 16, 2008 at 1:57 am

That Susan sounds like quite the prize. I am sure she celebrates father’s day by giving cards to her numerous male cats.

AxmxZ June 16, 2008 at 1:58 am

[re=16602]Cicada[/re]: My fave so far (I’m three comments in):

amanda9:57PMJun 15th 2008

maybe the reason mccain divorced his first wife wasn’t because she was crippled. maybe it was because he spent 5 years in a POW camp being tortured. Things like that might have a way of changing you.

Torture: it instills a taste for the finer things in life. Swimsuit models, wealth beyond imagination, limitless political power…

AxmxZ June 16, 2008 at 2:04 am

[re=16606]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Also, he sent them to Lab School. LAB SCHOOL!! Before you can say “John Edwards 2016,” the eldest will be at the University of Chicago. And we all know well-adjusted people do NOT succeed at U of C. At least we its alumnae know.

Very telling line in his speech: “Let’s give them a handshake and tell them to get their butts back in the library!” He’ll change his tune once he’s father to a U of C undergrad. Then it’ll be: “For Christ’s sake, not another all-nighter at the Reg! There is life outside the library stacks, you know!”

Darehead June 16, 2008 at 2:24 am

“W” may have failed as a son, but don’t be too quick to judge his relationship as a father with his only black son.

http://www.virginmedia.com/microsites/homefamily/slideshow/celebrity-pets/img_4.jpg

shortsshortsshorts June 16, 2008 at 2:25 am

[re=16609]AxmxZ[/re]: I wish you understood that you and I will go “mano a mano” and you will lose. Terribly. Because you are a woman.

trai_dep June 16, 2008 at 2:29 am

[re=16603]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Damn, beat me to it.
Although I was going to say, With Georgie still in office, can we rescind Father’s Day for GHW Bush? Until he’s found collapsed dead under a sweating, naked Barbara, who was still anally hate-fucking his decaying, 4-day old corpse wearing a leather Mandingo strap-on and a Bill Clinton face-mask? The entire thing broadcast around the clock on TMZ for three weeks? Because that’s about the only way I’d even consider forgiving him for not blowing the wad that became Shrub deep in the crevices of Bab’s flappy breasts.
Yours: more succinct. So you win.

AxmxZ June 16, 2008 at 2:30 am

[re=16611]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Ok, that just broke my brain a little.

mookworthjwilson June 16, 2008 at 2:32 am

[re=16610]Darehead[/re]: And Bush the first always talks about how much he loves his little brown grandchildren…

trai_dep June 16, 2008 at 2:33 am

Damn. Do I miss the Preview checkbox.

Vanity Smurf June 16, 2008 at 2:57 am

[re=16614]mookworthjwilson[/re]: He has to, one of them is named George.

SayItWithWookies June 16, 2008 at 2:58 am

[re=16612]trai_dep[/re]: Well thanks — but yours certainly had a lot more visceral imagery than mine. I might be afraid to go to sleep tonight unless I can get that image out of my head.

Neilist June 16, 2008 at 3:09 am

Can we change “Father’s Day” to “Who’s Your Daddy Day”?

Neilist June 16, 2008 at 3:15 am

Oh, and did you have to preface this post with yet another picture of Tim Russert?

That is who is depicted, correct? “Chowing down” before another one of those Sunday morning AssSuckfests that was Meet The Press?

:::Burp::::

RaptorAvatar June 16, 2008 at 3:17 am

You shouldn’t piss on Fathers’ Day for WALNUTS!, he probably only has 3 or 4 left (depedending on how OxyCougar’s beer money holds up in the black market for replacement organs).

Makeithurt June 16, 2008 at 7:49 am

My dad was a good kisser. Oops. was that outloud?

bitchincamaro June 16, 2008 at 9:00 am

I spent father’s day morn with Vanity Fair online, reading T. Purdum’s piece on
Bubba (and trying to avoid A. Jolie’s cleavage, tatoos, lips). It
left me wondering what Chelsea would give to a father who has everything
and nothing.

Botswana Meat Commission FC June 16, 2008 at 9:01 am

I coulnd’t have said it any better than this AOL commenter:

DEB9:51PMJun 15th 2008

Layne, you are an idiot.

Hell yeah, DEB9!

Iggy Plop June 16, 2008 at 10:35 am

Wow, yeah. Posting a political humor column over there at AOL seems to be the cultural equivalent of shaking the monkey cage. And judging from the comments, these people are only a step or two above the whole shit-throwing thing.

TGY June 16, 2008 at 10:53 am

You have made the point that political fathers are flawed human beings, sadly lacking in paternal feeling for their offspring.

Just like non-political fathers! Amazing!

Gopherit v2.0 June 16, 2008 at 10:54 am

[re=16600]TJBeck[/re]: 4 out of 5 Titans agree; Chalupas are damn tasty.

ladymacbeth June 16, 2008 at 12:43 pm

wow. somebody also called you pond scum. that’s like so funny for 1993.

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