• February 13, 2012
  • KISS MY ASS, HOUSE, AND KISS IT NOW: It’s Day Two of Hillary Clinton’s return to the Hill! Today she met with the House Democratic Caucus, the members of which formed a single file line to pretend that they hadn’t STOLEN THE ELECTION from her. Charlie Rangel: “She is no longer Bill Clinton’s wife, she is a national and international leader in her own right.” Nancy Pelosi: “She has emerged from this campaign as the most respected political figure in America.” Rahm Emanuel: “Since her campaign started, I have literally masturbated to Hillary Clinton every 15 minutes. Right now, I am masturbating to Hillary Clinton.” [NYT/The Caucus]

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{ 38 comments }

NoWireHangers June 25, 2008 at 2:35 pm

[as an entourage of suits - lead by Clark's boss - passes by single file]
Clark: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.

masterdebater June 25, 2008 at 2:36 pm

Oh my god! That “thanks for your support, bitch”, look she is giving Nancy is PRICELESS!

shortsshortsshorts June 25, 2008 at 2:36 pm

At least she’s no longer Bill’s wife. Took her long enough. JEEBUS.

ManchuCandidate June 25, 2008 at 2:36 pm

Who hasn’t masturbated to a Clinton?

bitchincamaro June 25, 2008 at 2:38 pm

She’s a national treasure is what she is. Let’s barry her.

Godless Liberal * June 25, 2008 at 2:39 pm

“She is no longer Bill Clinton’s wife”

That confirmed every last one of my suspicions about their unholy union.

choinski June 25, 2008 at 2:42 pm

“She has emerged from this campaign as the most respected political figure in America.”

Jeez, do we really treat everyone like shit?

masterdebater June 25, 2008 at 2:43 pm

[re=24434]ManchuCandidate[/re]: NOT ME! Wait, does Chelsea count?… Never mind.

Doc Swampy June 25, 2008 at 2:44 pm

How ironic. My wife met with a Democratic caucus just last night! Heh. Dicks.

iwillsavethispatient June 25, 2008 at 2:45 pm

She also sent out a ‘supporters’ email today… the key line being:
“I’m so grateful for all you’ve done for me — all the ways you have given your time, energy, and financial resources. But today I am asking once again for your help ridding our campaign of debt so we can keep fighting together.”

Sounds a bit like putting money on a horse that already lost to me. She shoulda just sent it to Barry!

edgydrifter June 25, 2008 at 2:45 pm

WTF? Seriously, did I stroke out and miss Madame’s campaign against the Boers, or her piloting the space shuttle to deflect an Earth-bound asteroid, or her unveiling of that cold fusion reactor she’s been tinkering with in basement? Why is Hilz getting the tickertape treatment in DC? She took some time off, applied for a new job, didn’t get the position and now it’s Monday and she’s back in her cube–Hoo-fucking-ray for her.

Forcing everyone in Washington to line up and give her a little analingus action is just too much. I want to brain her with a metal folding chair, but only because I’m so sexist.

Servo June 25, 2008 at 2:46 pm

[re=24431]masterdebater[/re]:
That’s a “I want YOUR fucking job now, you spineless bitch” look if I ever saw one.

AngryBlakGuy June 25, 2008 at 2:46 pm

…go get your chapstick boys and girls, because in case you haven’t noticed Hillz has a whole lotta acreage back there!

Dave J. June 25, 2008 at 2:47 pm

“She has emerged from this campaign as the most respected political figure in America.”

Um, except for the guy who, you know, got more votes than she did.

SayItWithWookies June 25, 2008 at 2:48 pm

“Senator Clinton! Senator Clinton! Yes — what was it like in the debates standing right next to Senator Obama?”

accidental_tourist June 25, 2008 at 2:48 pm

Either Hillz has let her makeup artist go, or she’s aged 25 years in the last month. Bless her heart.

shortsshortsshorts June 25, 2008 at 2:50 pm

[re=24450]Dave J.[/re]: Spot on. Shouldn’t they be saying that about their candidate right now? Retards.

graceless June 25, 2008 at 2:52 pm

Are we sure it was a standing ovation? Is it possible that everybody on the Hill stood just to clear their shorts?

graceless June 25, 2008 at 2:53 pm

[re=24453]accidental_tourist[/re]: OMG, you’re right, bless her heart.

Doc Swampy June 25, 2008 at 2:56 pm

[re=24453]accidental_tourist[/re]:
I was wondering why that WETA workshop guy from the [i]Fellowship of the Ring[/i] extended edition was in her entourage.

SocialList June 25, 2008 at 2:59 pm

Dammit,my career as a Hillary impersonator died before it was even born.

Hillary Clinton is the abortionist of dreams.

PoliticalGraffiti June 25, 2008 at 3:04 pm

please make her go away

freakishlystrong June 25, 2008 at 3:05 pm

Oh SNAP! Hillz is thinking Nancy is cunty trollop…

choinski June 25, 2008 at 3:05 pm

[re=24445]edgydrifter[/re]: We, you have to admit, like her or not, by dragging the Primary season to every last state she and Obama did create an enthusiasm for voting, organizing and fundraising. Do you think people would have voted for Obama in droves in PA or IN if it was wrapped up in February? And by keeping the media focused on Dem – on – Dem action, McCain was often pushed out of the coverage. All of this will have a major impact in November – not just for Prez but downticket as well.

Count Snarkula June 25, 2008 at 3:11 pm

Wow. I haven’t seen a look like that since I discovered battleship Bar in the kitchen, stirring her pot of kittens on the stove. *(with all due respect to Uncle Al)

choinski June 25, 2008 at 3:16 pm

[re=24467]freakishlystrong[/re]: Okay, PA and IN were bad examples. NC and OR.

Quacker June 25, 2008 at 3:16 pm

* Nancy Pelosi: “She has emerged from this campaign as the most respected political figure in America.”*

No wonder Congress has approval ratings below Chernobyl! Where there is fear but no respect, there is only flattery. It doesn’t look like it’s working, judging by the photo. I wonder if the House cafeteria served lime Jello and cottage cheese today….

Quacker June 25, 2008 at 3:18 pm

DAMN the enter key….

….in honor of the only worse loser in the race?

jagorev June 25, 2008 at 3:19 pm

“She is no longer Bill Clinton’s wife”? All riiiight, Hillary is single and horny, boys!

thefrontpage June 25, 2008 at 3:29 pm

Let’s bring everything back to reality: Hillary Clinton’s a poseur and a carpetbagger with no real experience who ruined the Democrats’ chances in 2008 to get back the presidency, and she never should have run in the first place, and most people hate her and wish she and her husband would just go away and stay away forever.

Reality check.

choinski June 25, 2008 at 3:34 pm

[re=24504]thefrontpage[/re]: Poseur and a Carpetbagger? maybe maybe not. Ruined the Democrats’ chances in 2008? Um…. isn’t that to be determined? Which polls are you reading?

graceless June 25, 2008 at 4:23 pm

[re=24509]choinski[/re]: That you Hillz?

choinski June 25, 2008 at 5:14 pm

[re=24569]graceless[/re]: Nope, I voted for Obama. Its just after years of having Rove attack anything that wasn’t loyal GOP, I’m pretty tired of Dem eat Dem. TRANSCEND, PEOPLE!

qwerty42 June 25, 2008 at 5:37 pm

[re=24645]choinski[/re]: yeah, now there’s that guy at the country club crap and whatever else.

Canuckledragger June 25, 2008 at 6:10 pm

“Rahm Emanuel: “Since her campaign started, I have literally masturbated to Hillary Clinton every 15 minutes. Right now, I am masturbating to Hillary Clinton.”

Yes, but given your apparent complete lack of testicular fortitude, when you self-manipulate, does it go “fap fap” or “shik shik?”

“She is no longer Bill Clinton’s wife.”

Well, finally some good news for them both. Now Hillaryous can freely clean Huma’s carpet, and Bubba can tour the nation for his new reality TV show, “Who Wants To Be America’s Next Great Dolphin Waxer?”

Mr. Herpes June 25, 2008 at 6:59 pm

“She has emerged as the most respected figure in American politics”? ?
I had that same feeling once and said something similar after I’d taken this enormous dump at a highway rest stop in Kansas. I’d been holding it for, like 20 miles or something, and when I finally got to a rest room, boy did it it emerge and did I ever respect that. Cinched my belt a few holes tighter and scuffed back to my VW. Had I Pat Robertson’s God-given gift of prophecy, I’d have named that 10-pound turd Hillary. ….Naw, that’s mean. I’d have named it Pat Robertson.

hopeforbill June 25, 2008 at 8:49 pm

[re=24489]jagorev[/re]: You mean, “Hillary is horny and single, GIRLS”!

donner_froh June 26, 2008 at 1:39 am

Democratic Caucus, the members of which formed a single file line

single file line? Democratic Caucus?

2 Live Crew?

You see, me and my homies like to play this game

We call it Amtrak but some call it the train

We all would line up in a single-file line

And take our turns at waxing girls’ behinds

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