• February 9, 2012

American GarbageMeet a brave American Hero: L.F. Eason III, the “29-year veteran of the state Department of Agriculture” who chose early retirement over the foul task of lowering the American Flag to half mast for the dead bigot Jesse Helms.

Eason went to work for the North Carolina government right out of college, and spent 29 years working for the state’s Department of Agriculture.

Now, at the age of 51, he has taken retirement rather than allow his small staff at Raleigh’s North Carolina Standards Laboratory to lower the flag for trash like Jesse Helms, the dead piece of trash.

(Thanks to Wonkette/N.C. Operative Kelly Thompson for the tip!)

He quit rather than lower flag for Helms [News Observer]
Man retires rather than honor Helms [Charlotte Observer]

{ 49 comments }

Neilist July 10, 2008 at 12:47 am

Apparently, there is at least one Real Man left in North Carolina.

Bon chance, L.F. Eason III. Enjoy your retirement: You went out with your head high.

Sub_Standard July 10, 2008 at 12:48 am

Hahahahaha

graceless July 10, 2008 at 12:49 am

Ouch. They’ll probably screw him on his retirement too. Get a lawyer, I think you might have a case.

demtard July 10, 2008 at 1:07 am

Wow. That is one principled guy.

Darehead July 10, 2008 at 1:07 am

L.F. Eason III: you are a hero. And I hope someone like you is around when Rumsfeld croaks too.

kudzu July 10, 2008 at 1:19 am

Wow! I’m humbled by this man’s dedication to service and principle especially when virtually everyone in the right is bending over backwards to kiss Jesse Helms’ ass and to praise his unrelenting racism. Mr. Eason: I salute you.

ronaldpagan July 10, 2008 at 1:19 am

This L.F. dude made me love humanity for a minute. Of course, North Carolina is ceremonially mourning the death of a bigot while L.F. gets screwed on his retirement. Like [re=32694]graceless[/re] said.

Neilist July 10, 2008 at 1:21 am

I’ve had second thoughts about this.

I think that Eason, in a spirit of compromise, should have run the Confederate Battle Flag down his pants and up the crack of his ass, and then flown said standard, in all of its Shit-Stained Glory, over the North Carolina Statehouse.

The South Shall Rise Again . . . which will give us a convenient excuse to kill some more of those dumbass rednecks.

scott_dog July 10, 2008 at 2:06 am

From his wife’s reaction, I assume that he’ll be sleeping on the couch for the near future. In the far future, he’ll be sleeping on the street along with the rest of the people who can’t afford their mortgages.

SayItWithWookies July 10, 2008 at 2:27 am

What a shameful display. What the hell is wrong with Mr. Eason? Rather than lower the flag to half-staff, he chose to retire?! Hell. A real American woulda rented a welldigger, driven it to the fuckin’ cemetery, ripped a hole in Jesse Helms’ freshly-tilled soil and buried a Confederate battle flag, a copy of the Turner Diaries and the Protocols of the Elders of Zion and an original reel of Birth of a Nation 40 feet under where Senator Helms’ ass had previously been. Lower than Paleozoic whale farts on a cold December night. Hmmph.

Paradise July 10, 2008 at 2:27 am

way to give the cracka the shaft.

S.Luggo July 10, 2008 at 2:33 am

Shameful. Definitely not a member of the Bush “Ownership Society”. Once the flag reached half-mast, it would have burst into bright orange flames. The ashes could have been used to make an excellent anal suppository ointment that even negroes and homos might use (plus tax). In this rejection, what has our country come to? What? Shall we move our capital to Vermont?

NotUrEvryDayWEzl July 10, 2008 at 2:46 am

I feel honored just to have heard of this man. He’s got one great pair of Truck Nutz

pickleandcake July 10, 2008 at 3:10 am

wonkette! we are experiencing a moment of real emotion and joy thanks to mr. eason! huzzah! the heavy armor of irony has momentarily half-lifted.

justsayin July 10, 2008 at 3:24 am

NC standards lab must have left him with … standards.
Hats off.

Sabre_Justice July 10, 2008 at 4:31 am

…people of America, I think it’s your duty to send this man your thanks.

I respect nothing more than someone willing to call people on their bullshit.

FreshCliches July 10, 2008 at 4:53 am

[re=32712]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Tom Waits called. He wants his imagery back.

WonkaBee July 10, 2008 at 5:50 am

[re=32722]Sabre_Justice[/re]: we could send this man our thanks, or…

Can somebody get his paypal address so we can help him out in his retirement?

WonkaBee July 10, 2008 at 6:22 am

Oh, lordy lordy … went looking for more info on Easley, and found an article about the NC first lady Mary Easley being employed by UNC and getting a suspiciously large pay increase.

At least I *think* that’s what the article is about. The absolute cracker-brained title is:

“Mary Easley’s raise skirts rules”

No, I’m not joking. I didn’t read the article, because, well, it’s just too early in the morning to risk seeing the NC governor’s wife raise her skirt. Even if she RULEZ.

Though on the other hand I *have* heard “Nothing could be finer than the governor’s vagina in the morning…” Maybe this would apply to her wife too….

WonkaBee July 10, 2008 at 6:27 am

[re=32729]WonkaBee[/re]: er.. ^ went looking for more info on Eason…

madirishman July 10, 2008 at 6:50 am

Mr. Eason’s balls clank as he walks. A man of honor stands tall this morning.

regisgoat July 10, 2008 at 7:13 am

That’s guts, alright. Good for him.

Q2 July 10, 2008 at 8:07 am

Atta boy LF. But so much for hamburger quality in NC.

Canmon (the Inadequate) July 10, 2008 at 8:15 am

It kind of makes Barry look bad for co-sponsoring and voting for (along with the entire Senate) a resolution honoring Jesse Helms for making “invaluable contributions to his community, State, Nation and the rest of the World.”

http://projects.newsobserver.com/under_the_dome/u_s_senate_honors_helms

Johnetic July 10, 2008 at 8:19 am

Being a denizen of the better Carolina myself, when I heard this story on the radio yesterday I was giddy like a schoolgirl. I simply cannot believe how many people have had good words to say about this dead bigoted racist.

I hope retirement suits LF just fine. He did it the right way, because he showed the rest of the nation that not everyone in North Carolina is a racist pile or voted racits piles to the senate for 50 years. Some of us actually live in the 21st century.

Q2 July 10, 2008 at 8:21 am

“According to the Flag Code, only the President of the United States, your state’s Governor, and the Mayor of the District of Columbia can order the US flag lowered to half-staff.”

Upon further reflection (and exhaustive investigation), it is apparent that L.F. Eason III is an obvious terrorist sympathizer who has disobeyed a direct and lawful order of the Governor of North Carolina. Therefore, Mr. Terror Lover should be remanded to the custody of the United States military and transferred to Gitmo post haste for detention (and eventual trial by tribunal in 2018). Haven’t we had enough of these freedom hating enemies of our constitution taking the law into their hands? Where is the outrage people?

Johnny Zhivago July 10, 2008 at 8:25 am

[re=32739]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Makes you proud of this Congress, doesn’t it? Honor Helms, let AT&T get away with breaking the law and designate National Corvette Day.

bitchincamaro July 10, 2008 at 8:25 am

The state hired him because they thought L.F. stood for “Lowers Flags”. Somebody fucked up, but it wasn’t Mr. Eason. LF for VP!

Johnny Zhivago July 10, 2008 at 8:27 am

[re=32741]Johnetic[/re]: I’m sure Helms will have an Air Force cargo plane named after him, fitted with one of those luxury trailers so VP Hillary can get her beauty sleep on her next trip to Bosnia.

Q2 July 10, 2008 at 8:34 am

[re=32744]bitchincamaro[/re]: When it really stood “Less Freedom.” Fools! Someone must pay!

TGY July 10, 2008 at 8:45 am

He has Standards.

Johnetic July 10, 2008 at 8:59 am

[re=32745]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: But I think I can support the Spirit of Strom Thurmond inside the Spirit of Jesse Helms. Somehow it makes me think about homophobes going greek.

DCBulloch July 10, 2008 at 8:59 am

Anybody Know his email? I will immediately get him a new job paying much more if he needs it. This man is a hero and real American.

Doglessliberal July 10, 2008 at 9:11 am

I saw this in the paper this a.m, and was just about to email it as a tip, noting that someone needs to give this man a job or a prize, or both. (or course, the ever-vigilant Wonkette was ahead of me)

Carrie_Okie July 10, 2008 at 9:24 am

meh I’d posted this at the end of the last helms thread. Glad it got tipped.

NebraskashireGentry July 10, 2008 at 9:30 am

a modern-day Galahad, he.

Monsieur Grumpe July 10, 2008 at 9:31 am

L.F. Eason III. Salute!
51 is too early to retire. Try moving to a different State.
Your resume will need a rewrite; try changing Lab Manager to Hero Who Didn’t Lower the Flag for Scum Sucking, Weasel Blowing, Waste of Oxygen Jessie Helms. I’d hire you.

ForeignSickSpecialist July 10, 2008 at 9:40 am

As a resident of NC, I cannot express the watermelon smile on my nigra face when I read this article yesterday. I’m still left with a question, though. When he “retired” he was only making $65,000 after designing and raising the funds for the state building he worked in for 20 years. For such a conformist, where did he get the gravitas to defy such an order? I guess it doesn’t matter. Salute!

choinski July 10, 2008 at 9:59 am

Hooray for standards labratories!

Deepthroat July 10, 2008 at 10:18 am

Obama / Eason ’08!

actually, ‘bama’s too conservative for Eason now

thefrontpage July 10, 2008 at 10:49 am

Who says there are no more heroes?

This man is a hero.

I hope he enjoys his well-deserved retirement, and I hope he makes some money from his new-found fame.

Congrats to this man, all-around!

sanantonerose July 10, 2008 at 11:01 am

Well, at least we know what the man stands for. Early retirement! What a slacker. I’m with SayItWithWookies. You can rent a welldigger? Cool.

Bob Hopeless July 10, 2008 at 11:07 am

This terrorist fist-jab’s for you, L.F. Eason!

Fear of a Black Reagan July 10, 2008 at 11:10 am

My flag was at half mast for days after Jesse died. But then I read the saucy excerpts from the Laura Bush book…

jimh July 10, 2008 at 11:14 am

Thank Jeebus there are still people like L.F. Eason in the world. I hope he is flooded with job offers.

snig July 10, 2008 at 11:18 am

They should have flown the flag at quarter mast when he was in power, and then when he died, they could have raised it to half mast out of celebration and no one would have been the wiser.

Big Al1317 July 10, 2008 at 1:48 pm

Mr. Eason is a real hero and a role model. You don’t find many like him anymore.

villageatrois July 10, 2008 at 6:30 pm

L. F. Eason was interviewed on NPR this afternoon. Should be in the archives soon.

Iluminada July 11, 2008 at 11:51 am

You can contact Eason’s supervisor Stephen Benjamin (the one who gave him the email ultimatum) at:

Standards@ncmail.net

(919) 733-3313

or

1050 Mail Service Center
Raleigh, NC 27699-1050

I say let him know how many people support Eason.

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