• February 13, 2012
  • WTF? A tipster writes, “Possible suicide? Chinese man in front of Obama’s office on the 7th floor of Hart [Senate Office Building], threatening to jump.” Could it be The Batman? Somebody go take a camera-phone picture.

UPDATE: “Sadly, no camera phone to verify. They have a team of white coats there and a fire truck (jump unit?) Just pulled up. Streets are blocked off, barriers up.”

Oh, Barack, where are you now that your country really needs you? (Living it up in Iraq, that’s what!)

{ 35 comments }

HandsomePete July 21, 2008 at 6:30 pm

I was wondering whatever happened to that tank guy.

blowhard July 21, 2008 at 6:32 pm

There was a guy who tried to jump off a ledge in Foggy Bottom yesterday. They talked him down and he was trying to get off the ledge, but he fell anyway and fucked himself up but I don’t think he died. Maybe it’s the same guy taking another crack at it, pun totally intended.

TJBeck July 21, 2008 at 6:36 pm

This is a rude, heartless tip. The guy is obviously Korean.

AxmxZ July 21, 2008 at 6:39 pm

Threatening to jump just because or did he tie it in with Obama somehow?

shortsshortsshorts July 21, 2008 at 6:44 pm

Jump!
FTW!
Huzzah!

Sabre_Justice July 21, 2008 at 6:49 pm

It’s all up to Obama now.

To give this man hope.

And if that fails, fly up and catch him.

graceless July 21, 2008 at 7:00 pm

He’s alright, it’s just the heat. Get that guy a slurpee…

catsquatch July 21, 2008 at 7:02 pm

Quick! Get Plouffe to stack all the flubber-infused prop basketballs the campaign has stockpiled!

wheelie July 21, 2008 at 7:08 pm

More, after the jump.

AxmxZ July 21, 2008 at 7:14 pm

[re=40791]wheelie[/re]: WIN.

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez July 21, 2008 at 7:17 pm

I’m always invited to comment right next to the SWIM MILF. I am disoriented.

Squiggyfm July 21, 2008 at 7:23 pm

Terry McAuliffe’s latest plan to deliver the caucus states fails.

Toonces July 21, 2008 at 7:28 pm

From http://thehill.com/ – An unidentified Chinese man has been threatening to jump from the seventh floor of the Senate Hart Office Building’s inner atrium for the past hour, according to Capitol Police.

Having worked up there, I think you would go SPLAT.

jagorev July 21, 2008 at 7:54 pm

Obviously, this is John McCain’s former-Communist-torturer-turned-gay-lover, driven to despair by McCain’s flagrant carrying on with Crist and Romney. It’s the only explanation that makes sense.

cal July 21, 2008 at 7:56 pm

[re=40774]Sabre_Justice[/re]: And if that fails, fly up and catch him.

Don’t be silly. Obama can’t fly all the way from the Middle East!

FreshCliches July 21, 2008 at 8:08 pm

[re=40812]Toonces[/re]: On the sixth floor, you get egg roll.

populucious July 21, 2008 at 8:21 pm

Police have dealt with the man previously, said Gainer, who declined to comment further until the situation was resolved.

You’d think they’d stop letting him in the building.

sezme July 21, 2008 at 8:29 pm

[re=40791]wheelie[/re]: Yeah, Ken was totally asleep at the wheel on that one. Thanks to jebus you were there to provide us with the totally miserable obvious pun. (I jest – I would have written it if you hadn’t already).

columnv July 21, 2008 at 9:51 pm

[re=40791]wheelie[/re]: muhahahahahahahahha!

Squiggyfm July 21, 2008 at 10:09 pm

[re=40826]cal[/re]: Such blasphemy!

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 21, 2008 at 10:13 pm

What will it take for Hillary supporters to just accept that she lost?

spot8410 July 21, 2008 at 10:22 pm

I was just walking back home, wondering what the hell was going on because they wouldn’t let me walk down Constitution next to the Senate offices. I had to make a big detour. There’s all kinds of news cameras out there and stuff, so something must be happening. It was blocked off when I left my house at 7:30 and a larger area was blocked off by 10.

I thought a senator might be jumping, but I guess Obama’s got me a little too hoped up.

Texan Bulldoggette July 21, 2008 at 10:36 pm

Doesn’t this guy know it’s McCain that keeps calling the Asian people Gooks? Go find McCain’s ledge & jump off of it!

Quacker July 21, 2008 at 10:52 pm

[re=40836]FreshCliches[/re]:

WIN!

Quacker July 21, 2008 at 10:52 pm

[re=40801]AxmxZ[/re]:

That’s Win WIN!

jasonelias July 21, 2008 at 11:04 pm

Too bad Tom Cruise wasn’t around. None of that shit would have happened. He’s the only one….

NotUrEvryDayWEzl July 22, 2008 at 12:07 am

[re=40904]spot8410[/re]: So this might explain the annoying emergency response vehicles that were interrupting my Screen on the Green Experience(TM)!!!!! Bastard.

dearest July 22, 2008 at 12:29 am

[re=40791]wheelie[/re]: Gracias

gurukalehuru July 22, 2008 at 12:42 am

If he’s in the Hart office building, McCain’s got an office there, too. So does Hillary. So does Larry Craig. The number of possibilities for this guy’s motivations are endless. I suspect, however, that he’s just fucking nuts.

spot8410 July 22, 2008 at 7:46 am

[re=40937]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: Hey, that’s where I was! I left early because the mosquitoes are very attacted to me.

spot8410 July 22, 2008 at 7:46 am

“Attacted” is a real world, I swear.

WIDTAP July 22, 2008 at 8:38 am

Geez, the lengths McCain will go to to get the headlines away from Obama this week.

WretchedMass July 22, 2008 at 11:53 am

[re=40791]wheelie[/re]: Oh excellent Wheelie…

Outstando July 22, 2008 at 12:27 pm

[re=40791]wheelie[/re]: Take the rest of the day off. Or at least start drinking.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl July 22, 2008 at 1:04 pm

[re=40982]spot8410[/re]: LMAO

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