• February 12, 2012
OUR CANDIDATES' PHYSIQUES

by Sara K. Smith

11:55 am July 23, 2008

Down with Gropey! Up with Hopey!ANGELA MERKEL INSPECTS BARACK OBAMA’S EQUIPMENT, FINDS IT SATISFACTORY: “Asked at a news conference on Wednesday what she thought of Obama, Merkel responded: ‘I would say that he is well-equipped — physically, mentally and politically.’” [Reuters]

{ 51 comments }

AxmxZ July 23, 2008 at 11:57 am

That is some seriously low-hanging fruit.

mookworthjwilson July 23, 2008 at 11:57 am

But Harriet Christian says he is inadequate!

4tehlulz July 23, 2008 at 11:59 am

Shorter Merkel: “I’d hit it.”

Gopherit v2.0 July 23, 2008 at 11:59 am

Once you go black, Angela….
Obama is doing what Clinton only dreamed. Seducing the world leaders one at a time.

Where’s our resident AngryBlakGuy? I’l be interested in his commentary.

itgetter July 23, 2008 at 11:59 am

[re=42085]mookworthjwilson[/re]: There’s only one way to settle this. Cage match.

Cape Clod July 23, 2008 at 12:00 pm

“Und he’s a vast improvement over dur groping dumbkoff you’ve been sending to zee G8 comfrences for the lazt eight yearz.”

pondscum July 23, 2008 at 12:02 pm

Love Merkel’s reaction in the photo. I feel the same way everytime I see or hear that fucking moran.

SocialList July 23, 2008 at 12:06 pm

Vas ist?I zink Frau Merkel has a fondness for ze schwarzer,nein?

tonashideska July 23, 2008 at 12:09 pm

Insert “Blazing Saddles” video here.

MathewBrooks July 23, 2008 at 12:11 pm

SATISFACTORY? WTF is she used to?

ronaldpagan July 23, 2008 at 12:11 pm

He’s not gonna be equipped with his nuts for that much longer. Get it while you can, Angie.

itgetter July 23, 2008 at 12:13 pm

[re=42102]tonashideska[/re]: http://youtube.com/watch?v=EYlDbv7MqE8

freakishlystrong July 23, 2008 at 12:14 pm

[re=42102]tonashideska[/re]: Hah! “The President is a N-..!” “GONG..”

Mahousu July 23, 2008 at 12:15 pm

[re=42090]itgetter[/re]: Already on the job. In fact, the results are in. And it wasn’t close.

WadISay July 23, 2008 at 12:15 pm

But does he have what it takes to go toe to toe with the Siegssauele?

ronaldpagan July 23, 2008 at 12:15 pm

[re=42102]tonashideska[/re]: It’s twoo! It’s twoo!

shortsshortsshorts July 23, 2008 at 12:15 pm

Oh sure, she doesn’t allow our President to massage her, but she just opens trunk wide open for the black guy. WTF?

shortsshortsshorts July 23, 2008 at 12:16 pm

[re=42089]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Seriously, AngryBlakGuy has literally disappeared. I still suspect he took a drug with the side effect of police brutality.

Scarab July 23, 2008 at 12:20 pm

The things Obama has to do to mend fences with our allies is scary.

KevoTron July 23, 2008 at 12:22 pm

[re=42112]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I already told you guys! I was smoking crack with the man at Kwame Kilpatrick’s Mansion LAST WEEKEND! We had some delightful African-American women in attendance (I think they call them “ho’s”) and everybody was doing this kind of dance where they spin around on their head! It was a real cultural experience.

As soon as he sleeps it off he’ll be back.

BeatrixSlaughter July 23, 2008 at 12:23 pm

Must have been a poor translation. “What do you think of Sen. Obama?”
“Ach, mein Gott, er habt eine lange schlange!”

magic titty July 23, 2008 at 12:26 pm

In honor of Kraftwerk she has dubbed his hope-engorged bi-racial johnson the Trans-Europe Express.

loudmouthredhead July 23, 2008 at 12:27 pm

“Oh, he es more zan adequate for ANY pozi-shun!”
*wink!*

Servo July 23, 2008 at 12:30 pm

[re=42089]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: [re=42112]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
Was it AngryBlakGuy that said he was enroute to Nigeria on his last post?

ManchuCandidate July 23, 2008 at 12:32 pm

“Is it twoo that you people are gifted, Senator Obama?”

Servo July 23, 2008 at 12:33 pm

I like when Harvey Korman calls her a Teutonic twat.

pondscum July 23, 2008 at 12:34 pm

[re=42127]Servo[/re]: That’s what I thought…
Maybe he went to get his money from the late businessman’s widow.

shortsshortsshorts July 23, 2008 at 12:35 pm

[re=42127]Servo[/re]: I thought he was joking….
Well I hope he stops in Germany to visit Merkel,
apparently she went black, and never came back.

magic titty July 23, 2008 at 12:37 pm

[re=42135]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Would you?

ronaldpagan July 23, 2008 at 12:38 pm

[re=42112]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Yeah I miss him. And Audicity…is she busy bearing Obama’s secret love child or something?

TGY July 23, 2008 at 12:42 pm

[re=42140]ronaldpagan[/re]: It’s the summer. People are allowed to be absent/on vacation/totally victims of right-wing death squads and so forth.

WhatTheHeck July 23, 2008 at 12:43 pm

[re=42089]Gopherit v2.0[/re]:
AngryBlakGuy still on his trip to Nigeria… I think.

But consider this. AngryBlakGuy has disappeared while Obama is out country.

Servo July 23, 2008 at 12:45 pm

[re=42135]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
Inga: “He’ll have an enormous schwanzstucker!”
Dr. Frankenstein: “I think that goes without saying.”
Inga: “Oof.”

TGY July 23, 2008 at 12:49 pm

[re=42154]Servo[/re]: “Goodnight, Frau Merkel.” (Horses neighing in background)

AxmxZ July 23, 2008 at 12:50 pm

[re=42089]Gopherit v2.0[/re]:

Bush’s foreign policy: Fuck the world.
Barry’s foreign policy: Romantic dinner first, then fuck the world.

KevoTron July 23, 2008 at 12:54 pm

[re=42150]WhatTheHeck[/re]: You may have hit on something there. Also his avatar looks conspicuously like the Terrorist Fist Jab! Oh noes…

BlackEuro.Observer July 23, 2008 at 12:58 pm

Frau Merkel is definately feeling sexy. She tried to seduce the Norwegian prime minister before with a decollete, so deep he had to stare.

ronaldpagan July 23, 2008 at 1:03 pm

[re=42150]WhatTheHeck[/re]: OMG! Are you saying…AngryBlakGuy is Katie Couric?

Texan Bulldoggette July 23, 2008 at 1:09 pm

I’m thinking maybe something got lost in translation, because that’s just a peculiar thing to say. Oh wait, maybe I’m just not used to foreign leaders saying good things about US pols.

Vewol Mevemont July 23, 2008 at 1:18 pm

[re=42108]Mahousu[/re]: Yeah, but Merkel gets crushed by LOL. And so does Jesus and Hopey Jesus… combined. Chew on that, messiahs!

Quacker July 23, 2008 at 1:25 pm

[re=42133]pondscum[/re]:
Win!.

Quacker July 23, 2008 at 1:27 pm

[re=42150]WhatTheHeck[/re]:
Now that coincidence is pregnant with meaning, if you catch my drift….

Rodney Badger July 23, 2008 at 1:29 pm

Deep penetration spooning is the Holy Grail of physical satisfaction. I have no doubt that this is what she had in mind.

FreshCliches July 23, 2008 at 1:33 pm

So in the grand scheme of things, this relegates Bush to the status of fluffer.

Hooray For Anything July 23, 2008 at 2:08 pm

[re=42172]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Actually, the statement was mistranslated. My German is a little rusty, but I think she said “Jesus Christ, a bowl of saukerkraut would be better than Bush.”

The Neoskeptic July 23, 2008 at 2:12 pm

[re=42118]KevoTron[/re]: read that as “soon as he sleeps it off he’ll be black”

loquaciousmusic July 23, 2008 at 2:22 pm

If I take my glasses off, that picture looks like it’s of George W. Bush buttfucking Barbara Walters.

Actually, glasses on, it looks like that, too.

natteringnaybob July 23, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Merkle: “Das ist eine gigantisch schwarzen paket!”

Paultardville July 23, 2008 at 3:34 pm

““I would say that he is well-equipped — physically, mentally and politically,” adding that she “wouldn’t resist” a Bush-style back rub from the Land of Lincolner.”

Merkel is the new Obama girl, without the whore diamonds.\

http://thepage.time.com/

gurukalehuru July 23, 2008 at 4:08 pm

Das ist eine ganze adequaten schwarzen schwanze.

Dreadful Gate July 23, 2008 at 9:36 pm

If he goes to Frankfurt, he can say “Ich bin ein Frankfurter”. But he’d better not go to Vienna, because then he’d have to say “Ich bin ein Wiener”, which might be true, but doesn’t sound as good.

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