• February 13, 2012
WITTICISMS

by Jim Newell

1:43 pm July 30, 2008

YOU ALL SUCK: The Obama campaign has surprisingly responded to that latest piece of shit McCain ad, probably because they thought of this nifty line and just had to do it!: “On a day when major news organizations across the country are taking Senator McCain to task for a steady stream of false, negative attacks, his campaign has launched yet another. Or, as some might say, ‘Oops! He did it again.’” Oh brother. Can’t you old perverts leave poor Britney alone? She has enough damn problems already. [Politico/Ben Smith]

{ 51 comments }

AfghanVet July 30, 2008 at 1:45 pm

I really think they should just continue to insert the word “confused” when and where ever possible.

Dave J. July 30, 2008 at 1:47 pm

When I associate WALNUTS! with the line “Oops, he did it again,” the image usually ends with a can of Ensure and a case of Depends.

Botswana Meat Commission FC July 30, 2008 at 1:49 pm

McCain Against The Music

weirdiowasculpture July 30, 2008 at 1:49 pm

Ya know, I’d still totally do Britney, bipolar disorder and crazy-ass kids and all.

freakishlystrong July 30, 2008 at 1:50 pm

Hey! Ripoff Jim!

PoliticalGraffiti July 30, 2008 at 1:51 pm

[re=47883]Dave J.[/re]: he’s “not that innocent”

Not_So_Much July 30, 2008 at 1:52 pm

Wow, that pic takes me back to when I felt guilty for thinking Britz was hawt instead of just feeling sorry for her and her hillbilly kids.

Toonces July 30, 2008 at 1:52 pm

[re=47883]Dave J.[/re]: “Wow, I’m impressed. ‘Oops I Crapped My Pants’ sure can hold a lot of dung!”

Noodle Salad July 30, 2008 at 1:53 pm

Leave Senator McCain alone! Can’t you see he’s old and confused?!

itgetter July 30, 2008 at 1:53 pm

Oooh, can we start comparing McCain to Britney like the republicans compare Obama to Hitler? I think the former is more damaging.

trophy(forparticipation)wife July 30, 2008 at 1:55 pm

But it’s ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time” that chokes Walnuts up.

Serolf Divad July 30, 2008 at 1:55 pm

These guys shouldn’t harsh on Britney, given that whichever one becomes prez can pretty much expect a B.J. from America’s most politically thoughtful and insightful musician.

PoliticalGraffiti July 30, 2008 at 1:55 pm

man, i wish you put this pic up instead: http://www.funmint.com/images/britney_spears/britney_spears_gothic_3.jpg

WagTehGod July 30, 2008 at 1:56 pm

I think they’re actually being kind to Britney and offering a little encouragement. McCain’s campaign is a far worse train wreck than Britney’s life at this point.

masterdebater July 30, 2008 at 1:57 pm

‘Oops! He did it again.’” McCain went commando, and flashed everyone? Damn I’m glad I didn’t see that! I’m still trying to get that Britney flash out of my head, and I only looked at it six or seven, or twenty times…something like that, but totally just for research.

NoWireHangers July 30, 2008 at 1:58 pm

It could be worse. They could have used “I’m a Slave 4 U”

RuperttheBear July 30, 2008 at 1:59 pm

New Obama ad. Somethings never get old.

Snarxon's Holler July 30, 2008 at 2:00 pm

Get it?

He’s a SHE.

Subtext is everything.

Servo July 30, 2008 at 2:01 pm

[re=47883]Dave J.[/re]:
That would certainly explain the low turnout at his speeches. That would be like standing in a VFW shitter for a few hours.

freakishlystrong July 30, 2008 at 2:03 pm

[re=47917]NoWireHangers[/re]: or “Hit me Baby One More Time”..

Kos July 30, 2008 at 2:03 pm

Geez. If we are going to make fun a drugged out blond trollop, I’ve got someone else in mind.

freakishlystrong July 30, 2008 at 2:03 pm

This ad is Toxic…

trophy(forparticipation)wife July 30, 2008 at 2:05 pm

The mention of Brit’s meat curtains made me think of McCain’s (wal)nuts hanging down to the tops of his support stockings. Jesus.

Hooray For Anything July 30, 2008 at 2:06 pm

I think the apt comparison to make is not to the hot, super popular Britney, but the barely coherent, confused, train-wreck Britney from the VMA’s.

El Bombastico July 30, 2008 at 2:07 pm

[re=47883]Dave J.[/re]: You know the first draft of Vietor’s e-mail said “Oops, I Crapped My Pants.”

GlennBecksTaint July 30, 2008 at 2:07 pm

Megan McCain is like soooo bummed right now

shortsshortsshorts July 30, 2008 at 2:10 pm

I’m so happy to see all the campaigning McCain is doing for the black guy. He must feel bad over the whole slavery thing (as WALNUTS owned slaves before the Great Civil War).

Dave J. July 30, 2008 at 2:11 pm

[re=47931]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: I’ve long argued that the Obama camp should do everything it can to get Americans to subliminally think of super wrinkly old man balls whenever they see Walnuts or hear his voice.

Komando July 30, 2008 at 2:11 pm

Seriously…Paris and Britney are the number 2 and 3 celebrities in the world? The McCain campaign really wishes they were running in 2000 again don’t they?

Fear of a Black Reagan July 30, 2008 at 2:14 pm

[re=47891]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: Me too. Even – nay… *especially* – if she shaved her head again.

Although I hear that she *doesn’t* shave the significant quantum of growth “down there”. Drawback? Added bonus? YOU BE THE JUDGE!!!

BadNewsJack July 30, 2008 at 2:16 pm

[re=47891]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: you know what they say: crazy in the head, crazy in the bed.

magic titty July 30, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Me wonders if Walnuts and Co. will be using Britney’s “Slave” in their next Nobama ad???

Dave J. July 30, 2008 at 2:18 pm

[re=47945]Fear of a Black Reagan[/re]: Untrue.

Snarxon's Holler July 30, 2008 at 2:23 pm

They’d never have tried to compare HILLARY to Britney!!

Maybe to Jim Carrey, but never Britney.

shortsshortsshorts July 30, 2008 at 2:28 pm

I doubt after the constant beatings Cindy is singing “Hit me Baby One More Time.”

HomoPolitico July 30, 2008 at 2:28 pm

This kind of camp is Toxic. The RNC is trying to make it out like they’re a SLAVE 4 U, but really, sooner or later they’re gonna feel The Touch of my Hand.

Im gonna go shower now.

cal July 30, 2008 at 2:37 pm

If Obama is Britatny Spears, then McCain is Peggy Lee.

gurukalehuru July 30, 2008 at 2:40 pm

If Barack Obama is the world’s #1 celebrity, and Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are #s 2 and 3, then
Smilin’ Jack is probably down there somewhere in a 3 way tie for 456th place, with Larry Sinclair and Raul Castro.

The real question in my mind is, who will Chris Crocker endorse?

FunkyPalmettoBug July 30, 2008 at 2:44 pm

Didn’t Britney do an ad with Bob Dole….hmmm

Scooter July 30, 2008 at 2:47 pm

The message is clear, McGrampy’s is shopping for a younger, crazier, skankier millionheiress.

WadISay July 30, 2008 at 3:09 pm

These McCain ads, sigh, they get run three times, between 1 and 4 AM, in Kalamazoo and then get put on the interwebs in hopes that they will go viral for free or that they will, themselves, become “news”. If Barry really is the Messiah, he will just make these damn people disappear.

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 30, 2008 at 3:25 pm

[re=47993]cal[/re]: If Obama is Britatny Spears, then McCain is Hildegard of Bingen.

There. Fixed, so as to be truly age appropriate.

RuperttheBear July 30, 2008 at 3:33 pm

[re=47973]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Yeah, she’s probably all Tina Turner, all the time.

sanantonerose July 30, 2008 at 3:36 pm

[re=48094]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Whoa. It’s not every day someone mentions ol’ Hilde out of the blue. Impressive.

wallythepug July 30, 2008 at 3:49 pm

Kinda funny since Britney are Paris are probably GOP.

loquaciousmusic July 30, 2008 at 3:54 pm

Meanwhile, somewhere in Arizona, Cindy is fingering a little bottle of Vicodin and singing, “I’m addicted to you / Don’t you know that you’re toxic…”

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 30, 2008 at 4:14 pm

[re=48112]sanantonerose[/re]: *bows* I figured she was more Grampy McPoopants’ style, y’know, being the same age and all.

ohiolobbyist July 30, 2008 at 4:17 pm

I’m setting the over/under on “how many high-fives were exchanged after those fucking nerds in Chicago quipped this one?” at 27.

Who’s got action?

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez July 30, 2008 at 7:00 pm

I loved the image I read somewhere in the miasma that was today about Britney teaching her two year old to smoke. Bravo to whoever said it!

trophy(forparticipation)wife July 30, 2008 at 7:17 pm

We should be getting a formal statement from Brit and Paris at any moment now. I can’t wait to hear something “political” roll off their tongues.

They are going to be like soooo pissed. Actually, Paris will probably just say, “That’s hot.”

The 3-Legged Man July 30, 2008 at 10:12 pm

I just wish they could work in Lindsay Lohan a bit more. That’s lava hot.

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