• February 12, 2012

This is the Bondage Room in one of John McCain’s nine homes (seriously, NINE), this one in Phoenix. Lucky Architectural Digest did a whole tour of the house and you can view their slide show here. Now it’s quite possible that John McCain has never been inside his Phoenix home, and who can blame him? That’s some scary, macabre shit! JUST LOOK at that thing to the right of the big cigar store Indian’s head. What the fuck! It’s like the deformed offspring of Beetlejuice and dead Heath Ledger’s Joker, wearing a brown lunchbag diaper and carrying a gay umbrella. What the fuck!!! [Architectural Digest]

{ 57 comments }

norbizness August 12, 2008 at 2:00 pm

Each one represents the entombed spirit of a Native American he himself killed in the Oklahoma Territory in the 1870s. For a higher-brow reference, see Blood Meridian.

thefrontpage August 12, 2008 at 2:00 pm

What’s the deal with the McCain house in Greenland and his collection of ice cube sculptures? Why does he have a house in Greenland?

Jim Newell August 12, 2008 at 2:03 pm

[re=57668]norbizness[/re]: John McCain is the Judge!

“And they are dancing, the board floor slamming under the jackboots and the fiddlers grinning hideously over their canted pieces. Towering over them all is the judge and he is naked dancing, his small feet lively and quick and now in doubletime and bowing to the ladies, huge and pale and hairless, like an enormous infant. He never sleeps, he says. He says he’ll never die. He bows to the fiddlers and sashays backwards and throws back his head and laughs deep in his throat and he is a great favorite, the judge. He wafts his hat and the lunar dome of his skull passes palely under the lamps and he swings about and takes possession of one of the fiddles and he pirouettes and makes a pass, two passes, dancing and fiddling all at once. His feet are light and nimble. He never sleeps. He says that he will never die. He dances in light and in shadow and he is a great favorite. He never sleeps, the judge. He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die.”

Oh, what beautiful writing. John McCain is too stupid to be the judge, though.

tsunami August 12, 2008 at 2:04 pm

today, mccain said that putin is trying to bring back the russian empire…not the
soviet union…the russian empire.

he would remember, i guess.

Noodle Salad August 12, 2008 at 2:04 pm

Worstest – his sexy time grotto. Cannot clean brain fast enough…

http://www.architecturaldigest.com/homes/features/archive/mccain_slideshow_072005?slide=8#globalNav

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 12, 2008 at 2:04 pm

In the immortal words of Hugo Weaving in Priscilla: Queen of the Desert: “Tack-o-RAMA!” Oh, and the “artwork” done by Meaghan in Slide 6 is going to give me nightmares for WEEKS.

tunamelt August 12, 2008 at 2:05 pm

What, nine homes? Okay, Mr. Real Typical American.

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 12, 2008 at 2:05 pm

I think the feng shui is a little off in that room.

masterdebater August 12, 2008 at 2:06 pm

A cavalry sword hanging over representations of American Indian spirit-gods? That may not be in the best possible…what is the word here…taste! Yeah, I’m pretty sure that just smacks of red-neckiness of the first order. Not quite what one might expect from a man that is the representative of a state with a large Indian reservatio…oh, wait.

SuperRounder August 12, 2008 at 2:07 pm

Which house does he keep the Gimp in?

Doglessliberal August 12, 2008 at 2:08 pm

[re=57682]tunamelt[/re]: Don’t you know? WALNUTS! is man of the people vs. that Elitist Negro who vacations in foreign Hawaii. All Men of the People* have multiple houses and interior designers!

*”People”=rich Republicans.

ManchuCandidate August 12, 2008 at 2:08 pm

Cindy’s got better taste than Mr Snakehead Matlin, James Carville. My eyes still see the world in a pinkish tinge after looking at pics of that nightmare. Typical uppper uppper class WASP (despite the SW motif) where every room is a set piece of style and elegance but lacks any warmth or sense of being a real home.

Also, Cindy looked kind of hot (in a Cryptkeeperish way) but that could be the effect of being next to Walnuts.

4tehlulz August 12, 2008 at 2:09 pm

WHITE MAN CAME ACROSS THE SEA
HE BROUGHT US PAIN AND MISERY
HE KILLED OUR TRIBES, HE KILLED OUR CREED
HE TOOK OUR GAME FOR HIS OWN NEED

WE FOUGHT HIM HARD WE FOUGHT HIM WELL
OUT ON THE PLAINS WE GAVE HIM HELL
BUT MANY CAME TOO MUCH FOR CREE
OH WILL WE EVER BE SET FREE?

ManchuCandidate August 12, 2008 at 2:09 pm

[re=57686]SuperRounder[/re]:
He is the Gimp.

Servo August 12, 2008 at 2:10 pm

Which house has the Star Wars figures?

TGY August 12, 2008 at 2:11 pm

Nine homes? Which one does Cindy keep her private jet in?

Monsieur Grumpe August 12, 2008 at 2:11 pm

I understand that they pipe ABBA music that has been overdubbed in Apache. Very tastefully done John.

TGY August 12, 2008 at 2:13 pm

Also, we may laugh about Al Gore’s carbon footprint, but John McCain’s is probably around 7 x Al Gore’s. That’s a large greenhouse gas fart.

larz August 12, 2008 at 2:13 pm

That was one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen. Whoever said “money can’t buy taste” never stepped foot in here or they would have said “money can buy a whole lot of tasteless crap, but it takes a special kind of person to find this much of it”

AngryBlakGuy August 12, 2008 at 2:15 pm

…personally I think freaky little doll is the bastard love child of Hamburglar and Beetle Juice.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 12, 2008 at 2:16 pm

I think the correct term for the style is ‘Haute First Citizen’.

AngryBlakGuy August 12, 2008 at 2:17 pm

…oh my god, WALNUTS! had the crying pollution Indian from the 80′s commercial killed and stuffed!!!

Serolf Divad August 12, 2008 at 2:17 pm

Architectural Digest would never do a feature on Barack Obama’s home… he’s too elitist and out of touch to allow that to happen.

4tehlulz August 12, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Was the room with the Sambo dolls ruled off limits?

anabellum August 12, 2008 at 2:20 pm

oh gag…..

please, no more pictures of the homes of Politicians, im still trying to forget i ever saw Edwards ‘explosion in a mobile home factory’ faux farm palace….

the McCain ‘music room’ pic really gets me…how obvious is it that no one plays piano in that household?…Cindy should be forced at gunpoint to burn every single one of those pictures….

Gopherit v2.0 August 12, 2008 at 2:24 pm

You can tell how environmentally friendly anyone is in Phoenix by
how green their lawn is and how many flowers they have. This is change we can all believe in, because we’ve already lived through 8 years of it.

shortsshortsshorts August 12, 2008 at 2:25 pm

Im sorry but there is no Native American Ron Paul doll. Therefore, this is a hoax.

sati demise August 12, 2008 at 2:27 pm

Those are ‘Kachina’ dolls from the Hopi tribe. Their homeland is on White Mesa, Arizona- surrounded by the Navajo Nation.

Luckily, the Hopis make these for the tourist trade and they do not have the magical powers that real Kachinas embody.

I think they will give Barry some real Kachinas.
The Hopi have the idea that if they ever have to leave White Mesa, that will cause the destruction of the whole planet.
Hopey will make sure the Hopi Indians continue to live at White Mesa, thats for sure.

Gopherit v2.0 August 12, 2008 at 2:30 pm

[re=57711]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Ahem…..that is the Clown Kachina. He’s an impish little guy symbolizing humor, gluttony, and impertinence. So, yeah, the Hambuglar fits. Or Dubya.

V572625694 August 12, 2008 at 2:32 pm

[re=57689]Doglessliberal[/re]: You mean all the rest of you don’t have nine houses and private jets?

I’ve been in Holiday Inns that had more feeling of home than McCain’s bogus adobe. Who plays that harpsichord, do you suppose? And the dining room: frightening.

CivicHoliday August 12, 2008 at 2:32 pm

Cindy says some of those dolls were AWARDS. Awards for what? Most American Indians shot from a moving train as he headed out west to dig for gold?

texette August 12, 2008 at 2:34 pm

John McCain- he is just like you and me!

They have family photos!
They got the kid’s art everywhere too!
They gather ’round for supper in cozy dining rooms!
They collect weapons too!
Hey, they even own 9 homes valued at over $12 million dollars too!

http://www.newshounds.us/2008/07/28/mccain_homes_worth_over_ten_times_obamas_whos_elitist.php

CivicHoliday August 12, 2008 at 2:35 pm

[re=57679]Noodle Salad[/re]: Gaaa, I know, right? I wonder how many of their seven children were concieved in that hot tub

Servo August 12, 2008 at 2:36 pm

It’s symbolic. The People of the Earth killed the elitist Hummels.

Gopherit v2.0 August 12, 2008 at 2:39 pm

[re=57753]V572625694[/re]: and nine houses That’s one for every member of the family. Fuckers.

WhatTheHeck August 12, 2008 at 2:39 pm

Relax. The house is just a museum.
Its where old things are on display.

I love the big horn up on the wall. That was one hellova beast to kill for an effect.

sati demise August 12, 2008 at 2:40 pm

[re=57758]texette[/re]: I think your price estimate may be off a bit.
Just the land in Sedona is worth a cool million an acre, and there are 13 acres there.
The land is worth more than the buildings in this case.

And they obviously have ‘grandfathered ‘ water rights, too.
Otherwise they would not have been able to build an artificial lake for fishing.
The water rights alone would be worth more than the buildings, too.
(they call it a ‘ranch’, but it is really an ‘estate’.)

lazyman August 12, 2008 at 2:42 pm

Aren’t those some of the wedding presents from his first marriage?

SayItWithWookies August 12, 2008 at 2:43 pm

From slide 9′s caption: “The initials “MC,” for “McCain,” were hand-carved into a mantelpiece made in Guadalajara for the master bedroom.”
See, I thought it was the Roman numeral 1100 — for the year of his birth.

JSDC007 August 12, 2008 at 2:47 pm

I love the hot tub.

It’s so Mrs Roper seducing Jack into her lair of love.

Seriously though, you’d think that Cindy with her bazillions would have hired some fancy designer. Instead, she downed a few dolls, went to the local Home Depot and presto! Expensive home with crap inside.

mookworthjwilson August 12, 2008 at 2:47 pm

Man, Meghan McCain is a crappy artist.

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 12, 2008 at 2:49 pm

Only Republicans could inhabit this horror without puking on the window treatments.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 12, 2008 at 2:50 pm

This is the house where Junior Miss Rodeo Queen 1968 dreamed of one day being crowned Miss Buffalo Chip.

Gopherit v2.0 August 12, 2008 at 2:51 pm

[re=57788]mookworthjwilson[/re]: And she just did that painting last week!

Fear of a Black Reagan August 12, 2008 at 3:00 pm

Whoa! If scary indian dolls were an alternative power source, this would be a nuclear reactor. Very good decorating, sir! I laud your recent accomplishments and expect to read of your exploits in the latest indian doll journals.

V572625694 August 12, 2008 at 3:02 pm

Those Kachina dolls are definitely an acquired taste. They probably go for big $$$, but they look like crap.

Jeez it’s fun to goof on somebody else’s taste, isn’t it? Sara, Jim and Ken, could you please post pictures of your homes so we could wail on them too?

Thanks!

DemmeFatale August 12, 2008 at 3:03 pm

What’s with all the dead leaves in the “love grotto”? Is it a green thing?

(I also love the amusing juxtaposition of Meghan’s “primitive” portrait and the African Mask. How droll.)

sati demise August 12, 2008 at 3:29 pm

[re=57794]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: for the win… huzzah!

S.Luggo August 12, 2008 at 3:35 pm

[re=57679]Noodle Salad[/re]: Except for that pool patio, which belongs in a Thai sexation resort, every surface of the house is buried in layers of (WalMart Museum Shop) kitsch, which is a Victorian decorating technique that McDementia picked up when he worked as upstairs maid for John Jacob Astor.

Ken Vogel August 12, 2008 at 4:17 pm

actually, the mccains sold this house and now have a condo as their primary phoenix address

Gopherit v2.0 August 12, 2008 at 4:38 pm

[re=57817]DemmeFatale[/re]: Nope. It’s very simple. Things die here. It’s hot as fuck, especially this time of year.
That anything you see there is green is unnatural.

Doubly so when you consider the McCains’ life sucking abilities.

c-freak August 12, 2008 at 4:48 pm

wtf! looks like they are playing some sort of double shriveled weiner grab in that first pic.

burton judson August 12, 2008 at 5:22 pm

That dining room is a fucking war crime.

It’s like they chose the least calming colors in existence and made sure they all clashed with each other in the most violent way, and that glass table means you can never look away. Also, the mix-and-match upholstery on identical chairs makes me want to hit someone.

loquaciousmusic August 12, 2008 at 5:22 pm

Nava-jo? No, you the ho!

Borat August 12, 2008 at 5:52 pm

its now time to ask: is maccainy gay? not that there’s anything wrong with that.

bozotenno August 12, 2008 at 8:24 pm

A carved Native American figure stands by a living room shelf crowded with kachina dolls. “Some of them are awards my husband received,” Cindy McCain says. “Instead of giving crystal awards—in Washington everything is crystal—out here it’s more southwestern.”

jerryw August 17, 2008 at 1:22 pm

This is a tribute room to help him remember the 5.5 years he spent as a prisoner of the Indians when his covered wagon was shot down by the pagans. McBush never did reveal who the leader of the free nation was, but it’s mostly due to his not knowing the answer, not some act of heroism on his part.

Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com

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