DESERTED: “Now we’re bored of silence, scared of bugs, terrified of snakes, and only understand wildlife in lurid teevee terms. Toddler eaten by hungry coyote five years ago; fat mom was inside stripping for Web-Cam.” [LA CityBeat: Desert Rattler]
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John Cornyn will fuck that turtle.
That’s hot.
When I was a kid in New Mexico (GO RICHARDSON!!!1!) baby tortoises were everywhere. It’s strange to think they’re a rarity anymore.
Gasoline prices and the current Economic Collapse play their part, but the abandonment of the unmotorized outdoors has been happening since that other George Bush was president. The U.S. population has added 75 million people since the 1980s, the decade in which human use of national parks, national forests, and state parks peaked.
And people who’ll pay $3.95 a minute for phone sex won’t shell out twenty bucks for a year pass to the nearest state or national park. But I’m loathe to fall into that these-kids-today trap and say we’re getting stupider. I think we’ve just got more ways to express that stupidity now.
Plus, people can enjoy nature on those 4-wheelers now.
I thought you were talking about my beautiful homeland Down Under for a moment.
I like the sound of this place.
[re=59313]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Clearly it’s all Algore’s fault. Had he not invented the internet in 1993, National Park attendance would not have gone into decline and Americans of all ages would be engaged with the environment instead of sitting at home snarking on Wonkette and downloading porn (simultaneously) at all hours.
Bah! Headline baiting. I was hoping to read about the Rubenesque young lady who was disrobing for the public good. Maybe even see a video link.
Turtles. Stupid turtles. McSpeedy has put me off turtles for good.
Any time I find a snapper basking on the road here in FL., I move it. I hate to see those awesome primordial critters destroyed.
I can’t remember the exact statistic, but a past Backpacker Magazine column stated that roughly 80% of National Park visitors don’t venture farther than ¼-mile from the parking lot. When I hit the trails in the Adirondacks, I’m the foreigner. To Americans, the Great Outdoors is a conveniently placed backdrop to be viewed from the car.
Awww… I wanted a dingo ate my baby story, but got we’re lazy elitist pansies instead. Being irrationally afraid of bugs is completely rational btw. MSNBC spent 45 minutes telling me all about scary bed bugs the other day.
Our Jersey bugs can beat the shit out of your Mohave bugs anyday.
We’ve been to the Mojave National Preserve and to The Galapagos Islands recently.
They are precious experiences.
BTW, just to be accurate, the UP through Mohave (the Tehachapi Pass Line) is the busiest SINGLE track freight line in the US. There are much busier freight corridors in other locations, including California.
You may need to belong to the site to see stuff, but railroad buffs have a webcam out in the desert to capture every train in daylight heading over the Mohave:
http://www.trainorders.com/cameras/tehachapi/
It is depressing, isn’t it? I blame television. They make their money advising you of every bloody murder within 600 miles, and install a sense of horror that’s supposed to make you afraid to leave your house, so you’ll sit and watch more television.
I can almost hear and smell that wonderful desert, very nice Ken, thank you.
[re=59307]Perot le fou[/re]: Aaaagh! Your Ross Perot icon scared the living shit out of me this morning. I’m awake now.
[re=59355]regisgoat[/re]:
What I conclude from the television news is that the safest places are anywhere but our gang-ravaged neighborhoods and America’s roads.
[re=59355]regisgoat[/re]: It is depressing, isn’t it?
Not especially. Why get depressed over how other people decide to blow their spare time?
That was beautiful, Ken. Well done.
nice story mr. layne. i grew up in florida and we had gopher tortoises all over the place. one time after a fire in the woods we brought one home and he/she excavated the back yard until mom made us take him/her back to the palmetto and pine scrubs. now they are endangered throughout the south because of the morans who pour gasoline down their burrows to flush out rattlesnakes, so boss hogg politicians can get their pictures made at ‘rattlesnake roundups.’
[re=59386]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Well, I’ll explain. If the general populace of the US knew what was out there they might not be so avid to drill it, strip mine it, and bulldoze it.
cool. i’ve been reading Edward Abbey’s Desert Solitaire this week, and that story just kind of jibes with where Abbey’s put my head. and what i’ve been experiencing this summer – where is it written that all campsites need to be built up to cater to RVs that pull in, plug in, and turn on the fucking TV. they sit their generating light and noise and truly messing with my campfire ambiance two campsites down. it’s not just TV that’s the problem. it’s TV and cars.
I didn’t see a single ‘Larry Craig Has Buttsex’ joke in there. I feel ripped off.
[re=59423]regisgoat[/re]:
Ah, there’s the problem. You say “drill, mine, bulldoze” as though you expect me to automatically cringe at the thought. I don’t. I have no trouble with people making productive use of the land they pay for. Maybe it’s because I grew up in the midwest, where every square foot of land is covered by a city, a suburb, or a farm field. Maybe it’s because I’m an unsentimental bastard. Hell, maybe it’s my low-level agoraphobia. I don’t know. If I had grown up in a place where the land was largely useless to humans, like one of my roommates did, maybe I’d share his attachment to such useless land, but I didn’t and I don’t.
We have national parks for the outdoorsy types, but everyone else who owns land has to figure out a way to pay for it. As far as I’m concerned, a hiking trail and a golf course are equivalent uses of large swaths of real estate, and I do the same stuff on both: chat with the one or two people accompanying me while I walk around carrying a stick. It’s the people and the discussion that interest me, not the scenery.
…..
Goddamn it, I forgot to work a buttsecks joke in there somewhere. Somebody please kill me and leave me on an HRC supporter’s doorstep.
The fun starts when the road ends…
This was lovely, Layne. I love desert. The organization I work for adds of a lot of acres to parks like the one you were in, which makes me feel as if I am a tiny little piece of slowing the loss of green (and brown) spaces. Impossible fight and we will lose, but at least we try.
[re=59437]Iggy Plop[/re]: sad how people need to be plugged in and stimulated 24/7. No one knows how to be silent and just listen anymore. That is one of the best things about being outside away from civilization–just the incredible peace that descends on you.
And I love turtles.
[re=59458]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: I understand your perspective, and realize we do need a balance between conservation and development (humans are not going to stop breeding, eating, etc), but I do disgaree with the concept of “useless land” in general. Land sitting there “doing nothing” in in fact doing a whole lot both for us and its non-human residents, from absorbing carbon, to disbursing heat, to providing clearer air and water.
[re=59468]Doglessliberal[/re]: Also the concept of the ‘commons’. We all need clean water and air to be healthy and pursue happiness.
Why should we allow individuals or corporations to ruin the commons for everyone? Out west, golf courses (a Scottish sport transfered to the desert!) are a major problem for the environment, even though they look somewhat natural. They use too much water, and the fertilizers contaminate surface waters.
Bush is trying to weaken the Endangered Species Act before he leaves office. Of course, if he is successful this will be his finest act as president.
Lets go back to the good old days when a river could catch on fire! good times.
Ken,
I grew up in Vegas! Spent my childhood on those hot rocks and desolate highways. We used to find turtles all the time but I hear they’re pretty rare now. My first serious girlfriend lived off the grid in a trailer way out in the desert wilderness. She had an outdoor shower, no electricity and
a tatoo of an anchor on her forearm. This was before the days of tramp stamps. She was a few years older than me but not old, early 20′s. Survived by selling pot and making bizarre pottery in her homemade kiln. Anyway, there were turtles all over her little patch of desert. I’m pretty sure they came for the weed growing under her trailer.
[re=59488]sati demise[/re]: yes, “commons” is a valuable and vanishing concept in a society that seems to think that land must become privately owned and then developed before it’s useful. it’s as if there’s no longer any effort to sustain the thought that it’s in the community interest to have significant portions of land held in common. our communal interactions occur in strip malls named Towne (or Village) Centre that prominently feature signs like: no loitering/no skateboarding/etc./Private Property.
errgh. i feel like i need to go throw a brick through a Starbucks window, except that i’ll probably need to back inside that same Starbucks soon enough to find a spot to read or write that comes with coffee.
Great story, Ken.
Desert tortoises are some of the most interesting critters out in the southwest deserts. It’s hard to understand exactly what ecological niche they fill, since they spend the majority of their time in their burrows sleeping/hiding from the sun during the summer and hibernating for most of fall and winter, but they live such slow, simple lives, I’m almost envious. That is, until I think
about things like the CAP Canal Debacle back in the 80s and 90s. To make sure we could have a teeming metropolis in the middle of the Sonoran Desert, the Arizona State Government dreamt up the CAP canal……..a 250+ mile canal diverting water from the Colorado to Phoenix. They built the damn thing right through the middle some prime tortoise habitat. Imagine being a young Tortoise, just waking up from your winter’s nap. What sounds better after a meal of desert flowers than a little tortoise nookie? Not with the CAP. Tortoises were throwing themselves in and drowning right and left trying to find a little tortoise love. Arizona’s answer? They built small bridges over the canals to allow the tortoises (and other desert denizens) to freely seek their love without danger of drowning. Personally, I consider that tax money well spent.
[re=59516]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: and now the giant wall/fence/impenetrable partition of doom that Homeland Security is building along the border with Mexico is going to spell the end of several species that migrate back and forth along that pathway. Say goodbye to jaguars.
I like turtles!
Very nice, Ken. Though…is self-promotion by Wonketteers kosher?
wait, so there’s no fat stripper mom?
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[re=59666]Godot[/re]: Thank you Godot…my sentiments exactly.
That was beautiful, Ken. Thanks for sharing.
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