• February 13, 2012
MONEY AND PROBLEMS

by Sara K. Smith

10:22 am August 18, 2008

  • BARACK OBAMA IS PRESIDENT OF FUNDRAISING: Obama raised $51 million in July, compared to John McCain’s $27 million. The Republican National Committee still has way more cash on hand than its Democratic counterpart, however, because the Democrats are spending all their money on beer and weed. [AP]

{ 35 comments }

loudmouthredhead August 18, 2008 at 10:25 am

No, they’re spending it all on color-balanced, organically grown (*cough* basement weed farms *cough*), animal-friendly, vegan greens.
Oh, and to fund the Denver police and their poop rays. Remember those, hmmmmmm?

jagorev August 18, 2008 at 10:36 am

To be fair to the DNC, secret prisons aren’t free:

http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=97741&catid=188

freakishlystrong August 18, 2008 at 10:41 am

Ya, just wait until the RNC gets the Ensure and Depends bills.

Walter Sobchak August 18, 2008 at 10:44 am

[re=61871]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Hopefully they’ll get to use both those things on Sean Hannity.

TGY August 18, 2008 at 10:45 am

So it’s all kind of a wash, yes?

Canuckledragger August 18, 2008 at 10:47 am

If the Fed would just go back to the gold standard and quit fuckin’ with international currency exchange rates, the high cost of BC Bud wouldn’t be tanking Hopey’s campaign right now. I blame Greenspan and Bernanke for the high cost of getting high.

Me, I just have to wander a few feet outside my igloo and pick the stickiest bud within reach. It’s our most precious natural resource. Well, that and smugness, but that’s much harder to export.

stolichnayaaa August 18, 2008 at 10:49 am

This is why McCain can’t afford his own cone of silence.

upperleft August 18, 2008 at 10:52 am

McCain promises if he’s elected all Republicans get free Budweiser!!

SayItWithWookies August 18, 2008 at 10:56 am

And President Doctor Congressman Ron Paul? Still flat, I assume?

Sean O August 18, 2008 at 11:01 am

How in god’s name is the election this close? Please, let the debates happen soon, although the most likely result of that asskicking will be empathy for McCain since he lost so badly. Because, y’know, we don’t want someone competent to lead our country.

lilblackcorvette August 18, 2008 at 11:04 am

[re=61894]Sean O[/re]: [re=61889]upperleft[/re]: see:upperleft

MoodProcessor August 18, 2008 at 11:04 am

I heard that should play Obama’s speech from Germany while watching The Wizard of Oz with the sound turned down.

Vanity Smurf August 18, 2008 at 11:05 am

[re=61894]Sean O[/re]: It’s not close, it’s a landslide. Pay no attention to national polls, that’s not how we “elect” our President — it’s how we get ratings if we are wretched TV whores. You have to look state by state and count up electoral college votes.

Serolf Divad August 18, 2008 at 11:06 am

[re=61894]Sean O[/re]:

About half the American public is a dumb as a brick and will pronounce the winner of the debates to be the guy who promises to balance the budget by cutting taxes, upping farm subsidies and invading foreign countries.

CrunchyKnee August 18, 2008 at 11:09 am

Wide stances and cruising men’s rooms are fairly cheap compared to weed and beer.

SuperRounder August 18, 2008 at 11:11 am

[re=61894]Sean O[/re]: They keep polling likely voters, which isn’t an entirely accurate picture of what’s going on. Barry’s too busy polling the young folks. The young folks like Barry’s polling.

loudmouthredhead August 18, 2008 at 11:12 am

[re=61900]Serolf Divad[/re]: The one statement that explains American politics for the last 40+ years.

Servo August 18, 2008 at 11:17 am

McCorpse has oil speculators tallying his campaign donations.

Canmon (the Inadequate) August 18, 2008 at 11:23 am

Have you seen the price of arugula at Whole Foods?

Godless Liberal * August 18, 2008 at 11:23 am

You’d think with that kind of cash, the Obama camp could at least afford to hire a guy to go all Jeff Gillooly on McCain.

SuperRounder August 18, 2008 at 11:27 am

[re=61908]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Barry only shops at the Farmer’s Market.

Mo MoDo August 18, 2008 at 11:28 am

How’s McCain paying for all those prime time Olympics ads? I’d rather be seeing Cathy Rigby discuss feminine hygiene.

botlrokit August 18, 2008 at 11:29 am

[re=61906]Servo[/re]: Which means with the end of the summer driving season, he’ll end up with way less money.

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 18, 2008 at 11:30 am

I think when the election, ahem, landslide is over, the MSM is going to be forced to sit in the corner with a cone of silence on its head.

Mo MoDo August 18, 2008 at 11:30 am

[re=61908]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Don’t know about arugula, but prime organic topsoil is through the roof.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/16/AR2008081601966.html

irisheyes August 18, 2008 at 11:31 am

[re=61899]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Believing in that theory is the only thing that lets me sleep at night. And the Valium/martini nightcap.

Poliscide August 18, 2008 at 11:38 am

‘Hey, hold on! $27 million used to be a lot of money back in my day’! That’s what McCain supporters would say. He’s done amazingly well, considering most of his support comes in the form of ‘shiny new nickels’.

georgia_peach August 18, 2008 at 11:41 am

[re=61886]Canuckledragger[/re]: Plus, the U.S. already generates ample domestic supplies of smugness, so we don’t really need yours. Of course the American version is ignorance-flavored, which can get old after awhile.

WhatTheHeck August 18, 2008 at 11:58 am

I personally upped my support for Barry just so he could finally retire both Hillary and her debt.

LBOtomist August 18, 2008 at 12:01 pm

You guys keep missing the forest for the mutha-f*&king trees. Specifically you keep snarking about this silly campaign thingy while there is a Che Guevara-look alike/Village Person molesting the slim slack girl in the ad crawl. Does “Ken Layne” (as if there was such a person) get paid in tube socks (meat filling optional) for his lackluster blogging? How else can this outrage be explained. I want answers.

lilblackcorvette August 18, 2008 at 12:46 pm

[re=61937]LBOtomist[/re]: oh gawd…. please pass another restrainig order, ossifer

stolichnayaaa August 18, 2008 at 12:57 pm

[re=61921]Poliscide[/re]: Good point. What is McCain’s haul in 2008 dollars? I think it’s like a billion doubloons.

Hooray For Anything August 18, 2008 at 1:22 pm

Maybe they can use some of that money to get a vet to help tend to Hopey’s unicorns who have been looking a little ragged, tired, and beat-down lately. I don’t think they’ve quite recovered from being compared to Britney and Paris yet.

TGY August 18, 2008 at 3:05 pm

[re=61937]LBOtomist[/re]: Dude! Where did our love go?

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 18, 2008 at 4:45 pm

“The Republican National Committee still has way more cash on hand than its Democratic counterpart…”
Of course they do! Juan gets steep discounts on adult diapers, auto collision insurance and pharmaceutical drugs – not to mention a sweet deal on gas – which pretty much takes care of his life.

Word is that Barry brought back some excellent shaka bud from da islands, donated by his fat cats on French Hawai’i. Look for some way out visionary preachin’ next Thursday!

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