OBAMATARDS, SIT BY YR CELLPHONES: Because we have, what else, a DRUDGE FLASH: “The NYT newsroom was buzzing late Monday afternoon after Obama-beat reporter Jeff Zeleny learned how the Dem hopeful has now finalized his choice for a running-mate. Obama has set out an elaborate roll-out to announce his decision that will begin with an early morning e-mail to supporters, perhaps as early as Tuesday, Zeleny and Adam Nagourney have been told.” Text “VP” to 62262 if you want Barry to personally text you first with a picture of his veep’s private partz. UPDATE: Mark Halperin says “he is wrong.” We will wait for the Politico tie-breaker vote to see how the Triumvirate Council Of Horse Race Lies ultimately decides. [Drudge Report]
by Jim Newell
by Jim Newell
5:32 pm August 18, 2008
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IT’S DEVAL PATRICK! BROTHAZ ON THE MOVE 2008!
the light gives me an erection
My left field guess is Caroline Kennedy.
She’s the one vetting the VP candidates & that’s what W did 8 years ago & Obama seems to be following in that asshole’s footsteps lately.
Think of the upside: He gets all the disaffected Hillary supporters back & he insulates himself against getting shot.
After all, only the Kennedy’s are more hated that half black Muslims from the foreign country of Hawaii.
Early Morning roll-out? That’s a terrible idea. You’re just going to piss off a few million supporters when their cell phones start ringing at 6 AM.
Thanks- just ate my weed and poured a beer out on the rug.
As much as I love Barry, I’m not falling for this ploy to give him my phone number so he call text me ad infinitum until early November. I get enough random text messages at 3am as it is.
I get enough random text messages at 3am as it is.
HANGERZ I JUST GOT TOLD HEARD THE RUSSKYS ARE SENDING TANKS INTO JORJA. WTF I DO, IS THERE A TANK BASE NEAR ATLANTA? CALL BACK. DUB
I thought Obama had already announced that Allah was his Vice President?
I know Drudge doesn’t have the info, but do you think I could go try and beat it out of him? Just for fun?
Every time I see that chapeau’d supreme douche, I want to smack him silly.
[re=62456]NoWireHangers[/re]: To be fair, the sign-up form does ask for a headshot and your measurements. Barry’s only going to send you 3 AM booty-texts if you’re hot.
[re=62456]NoWireHangers[/re]: …somebody’s popular.
If I get texted between the hours of 2am – 6am, it better be for really good drugs
Al Gore was recently seen sneaking into a Weight Watcher’s clinic. There–all the info you need.
I guarantee that Barry will pick a VP in the next 9 days.
If McCain did that, his announcement would look something like this:
Giod Am7mit . Cawn9t p4r4ess 6th3es3 t8nby butt9ons.
I hope it’s Dodd…but only because Obama-Dodd sounds like a kick ass name for a robot.
[re=62465]CivicHoliday[/re]: or sex.
[re=62461]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I thought it was Muhammad?
and cue the bursting heads of the PUMAs
Screams!
He’s going with Colin Powell. Of course, that would make way too much sense and would guarantee victory, so he’ll probably go with someone boring who will be a total buzzkill, al a Biden, Bayh, or Nunn.
Politico seems to be taking a more moderate schedule: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0808/12596.html
…Barry is turning into that obsessive girl/boyfriend that wants to be able to contact you every where you go. Soon he will be going through your pockets and wallet looking for condoms and phone numbers!
The announcement is going to be like People magazine’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive,’ it’ll disappoint you, you won’t agree with it, and you’ll spend the next two months complaining about it with your friends (except for Matt Damon, because he’s smokin’ hot).
It’s going to be Biden. But I wish it was Sibelius so that two heads could simultaneously explode in Chappaqua, and a national bitter meltdown would occur.
And as for “sit by my cellphone”, my cellphone gently caresses my ass all day long with its warmly vibrating goodness. I’d say it was my best friend if only it would pick up a bar tab every once in a while.
[re=62489]Scarab[/re]: DAMON FOR VEEP! Let’s put Howard Zinn at the apex of White House decisionmaking and finally overthrow this fucking capitalist swinepit.
[re=62461]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: “I thought Obama had already announced that Allah was his Vice President?”
No, no, that was CO-PILOT!! Like in the book, movie, terrorist attack, etc…
Pick Dick!
[re=62485]Dave J.[/re]: No way. ‘Merica ain’t gonna vote for two brothers on the same ticket. That’s way too much change for Bubba’s in East Jesus Falls, KY to contend with. But it would be good for the gun/ammo industry; imagine all the folks wanting to take these 2 out. Then Nancy P. is president & HRC’s head explodes. Oh wait, maybe that’s not a bad idea after all….
I am not falling for this. At four in the morning I will get an EMERGENCY TEXT MESSAGE from Obama himself, in which he reveals his running mate will be…Rick Astley.
[re=62473]TJBeck[/re]: yeah, that’s the approach Politico is taking with “this week likely” headline. I hope(TM) it’s soon because this is like waiting for the upgrade to the Wonkette site – interminable! Or Godot – where the hell is THAT guy? how long is he going to string us along here?
Bummer is that hand-me-McCane is probably going to announce right in the middle of the Dems convention to steal the spotlight. Or maybe that’s a good thing if the spotlight is on the “As the Clintons Turn”
[re=62500]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Durbin? Gephardt? Cheney?
Can I request a sexy text msg? Something along the lines of “Your pussy is so sweet, meet my choice for veep.” Or anything similar, really.
I can’t wait to hear what a unicorn sounds like. ‘Beepeepepepeee!’
[re=62510]WonkaBee[/re]: A blood sucking, centrist, baby killing liberal neo-conservative hybrid of all three.
[re=62503]Godless Liberal *[/re]: Never gonna give you up, never gonna say goodbye!
[re=62453]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: Okay, damn you. I just got my wisdom teeth out and I think I pulled my stitches grinning at that. OW.
Halperin’s OH MATT!!! headline is kinda cute. I wonder if Matt’s still dating that Romney strategist.
Obama/McKaskill (this was my pick in June, and I’m sticking with it)
Obama/Dodd – it does sound like a robot, [re=62477]Nasara[/re]
Obama/Clinton – overplayed, and not even interesting at this point
Clinton/Obama – would probably be newsworthy
Obama/Biden – nah
Obama/Nunn – eh
Obama/Powell – do we really want the guy who brought anthrax to the UN?
Obama/Cheney – the guy who picks Cheney has won every presidential election in over a decade
Obama/Bayh – Can you imagine a Mittens/Bayh debate?
Obama/Byah – WOT 2 HARD 2 SPEL LOL
Obama/Obama – hottest VP ever (sorry, Elbridge Gerry)
Obama/Jesus – working class Jew might help in certain demographics
Obama/Kerry – no
Obama/Vilsack – TruckNutz!
Obama/Daschle – you didn’t see that coming
Obama/Clinton (Bill) – yes, for so many reasons
Obama/Clinton (George) – tear the roof off this mutha sukka
Obama/McCain – McCain’s best shot at the presidency
Obama/Clark – I don’t think being Supreme Allied Commander of NATO is a qualification to be Vice President
Obama/Paul – never go full paultard
Obama/Heath Ledger – he’s been living with Elvis
Obama/McCain (Carol, John’s first wife) – awk-ward
Obama/Tony the Tiger – ?
There is no need to “plug in” as Biden is the veep.
“Obama-beat reporter Jeff Zeleny”…that lucky son of a bitch!
He’ll pick Chelsea Clinton
Whenever I hear Daschle, I think, ‘really, he couldn’t even get enough Dems in SDak to vote for HIM, how’s he gonna get them to vote for the colored guy?’ Not feeling that one…
[re=62556]GlennBecksTaint[/re]: This does not bode well for her, as I think Hillary might eat her own young.
[re=62537]TJBeck[/re]: FWIW, Kos says it’s going to be Daschle.
I’m tellin’ you boys and girls. Put your money on the Bidster.
Be the first to know. Are they serious? I knew about Heath Ledger before the cops got there.
It has to be Obama/Phelps.
[re=62562]Dave J.[/re]: Well, even though Daschle is married to a former Miss Buffalo Chips (okay Miss SDak or something inane like that) & he was the Majority Leader in the freaking United States Senate, he still couldn’t win re-election. I just think he’s about as exciting as wet toast & many of his SDakotans must agree.
I’m starting to get a bad feeling about this. Biden? In any other state but Delaware, he’d be parking cars outside a swanky hotel. Nunn? Living proof that a quiet southern man is sometimes just a dullard. Dodd? Ha! There are so many Chris Dodd sexual/ethical skeletons in D.C. closets that he’d make Bubba Clinton look like a choir boy. When Chris and Teddy K. went out for “sandwiches” at the Monocle in the 80s, they weren’t talking food. Kaine. Who? I’m getting a sinking feeling he’s gonna need the Hillary before this is over.
[re=62566]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: Um, does that mean you’re really Mary Kate Olsen?
|31d3|\| 1z m41 \/p kthxb41
[re=62584]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: I can’t say.
[re=62567]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Fred Phelps? Holy shit, now that’s outside-the-box thinking.
[re=62593]4tehlulz[/re]: Sure. It’ll get him the batshit-crazy, homophobe vote…..or, you know, the NASCAR demographic.
I guess I should have been more clear. Michael Phelps. He’ll get the Paultard vote, with all of that gold he’s toting around now.
I just got this text message from Mark Penn:
8====O THIS IS MARK PENN SUK A DICK
I guess Hillary ain’t it.
Hey I got a text!
Oh wait, it’s just something from BBWTrannyLatinas…again.
It’s Biden. Hope/Hairplugs 08.
[re=62449]denver_80203[/re]: Flashing siren: Saint Vitus Damce warning, a grand mal seizure, a signal to reach for the red button within a North Dakota underground silo, or a pedophile alert. Choices. So many choices.
Number 4.
I guess we’re all Biden our time until we find out.
Will somebody please hire a webdesigner for Drudge?! His website makes craigslist look like a multimedia work of art.
Damn, I guess we won’t get that promised text message after all. Which is a damn shame, because then I’d have Obama’s number and he could tell me where to get some blow for the DNC. (I’m only a “guest”, and that shit’s gonna be boooooring.)
I forget – is it the gray smoke or the white smoke which signals that the choice has been made?
[re=62461]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: no, no, Allah is his co-pilot.
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