• February 13, 2012
  • BUT HE’S STILL A VIRGIN: “WASHINGTON – Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, the Democratic Party’s vice presidential candidate in 2000 and now an independent who is one of John McCain’s strongest supporters, will speak at the Republican National Convention, an official said.” But of course! He will probably be vice president or something. Anyway, your associate editor has been wanting to start a “Joe Lieberman is a virgin” rumor/meme for a few months now, so help out where you can hmm? Smear e-mails, comment boards, etc. [AP]

{ 47 comments }

NoWireHangers August 20, 2008 at 11:12 am

Please let Liebs be WALNUTS! Veep. It’s the only way to vanquish him once and for all.

trondant August 20, 2008 at 11:14 am

I fucking concur.

V572625694 August 20, 2008 at 11:15 am

Sweet to think that could happen. How will the hate-filled bigots be able to decide between not voting for the Black and not voting for the Jew?

Oh, I know: Ron Pual!!1! He looks like us!

mbprice August 20, 2008 at 11:17 am

From the wikipedia Marriages and Children section:

“Despite all this, Joe Lieberman remains a virgin.”

Well done.

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend August 20, 2008 at 11:17 am

I hereby bestow the Summer’s Eve Zell Miller Memorial award on Joe Lieberman. Speech! Speech!

ManchuCandidate August 20, 2008 at 11:18 am

Not anal virgin.

wallythepug August 20, 2008 at 11:20 am

Vice presidential prick, indeed. Maybe when Al Gore speaks at the Dem convention he can apologize for unleashing that doofus on the national conscious.

4tehlulz August 20, 2008 at 11:20 am

Mittens and Lieberman should have a steel caged death match for the VP spot.

SuperRounder August 20, 2008 at 11:20 am

Pick him, WALNUTS! So he’s also an elitist, Ivy League educated snob. No one’s got the balls to call you a hypocrite, anyway.

Destonio August 20, 2008 at 11:20 am

http://usera.imagecave.com/destonio/Lieberman.jpg

Giving arrogance and entitlement a whole new JOE-mention!

SayItWithWookies August 20, 2008 at 11:27 am

McCain/Lieberman 2008 — what’s a whore without a virgin?

dano August 20, 2008 at 11:27 am

Lieberman’s negative charisma would doom the McCain campaign. He’s about as much fun as a bad case of hemorrhoids.

Godless Liberal * August 20, 2008 at 11:28 am

Yes, Lieberman has a shining track record as vice-presidential candidate.

God, it would be so delicious watching him have to go back to work in the Senate after his second epic fail as a veep nominee. Awk-ward!

SuperRounder August 20, 2008 at 11:35 am

[re=63813]Godless Liberal *[/re]: If the dems take the Senate, it’ll be awkward anyway. The Joe-mentum will cease.

Doglessliberal August 20, 2008 at 11:36 am

[re=63812]dano[/re]: And a preachy, moralizing Orthodox-practicing Jew. That is not going to play well with a lot of demographics. He is pro-life, though, and that seems to be the biggest issue since the conservative Christians have threatened rebellion if McCain picks a guy who does abortions daily like Ridge. Also, a lot of conservative Christians are very pro-Israel and see his Orthodoxy as a major plus. His wife’s name might scare a lot of nutsos who think it means she is a Muslim terrorist, but I doubt that would gain any traction since Obama’s people are sure not going to start that rumor.

I was hoping for Charlie Christ. Then the secret liasons could come out of the woodwork, if they have not already been assassinated by the Cheney death Squads.

Maybe he’ll still go for the exorcist vote and pick Jindal.

jerryw August 20, 2008 at 11:38 am

Every description of Joe seems to say he’s fucked, so he’s still a virgin???

I dunno, but ever since he broke up with ALF, our little DINO just hasn’t been the same.

Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com

MoodProcessor August 20, 2008 at 11:38 am

Let’s Hope he’s one of the 72 awaiting UBL in the afterlife.

Lascauxcaveman August 20, 2008 at 11:40 am

Hmph. The virgin meme would have greater veracity if he was supporting Dr. Paul, not Walnuts.

regisgoat August 20, 2008 at 11:41 am

Holy Joe’s zygote hugging stands in strange contrast to his sex-free personal life. Anyway, at least he’s a gamboling youngster compared to McCain. I say draft him. And then let’s find out who in the DNC told Gore that Liberman was the choice he needed to sew up New England and hit them with something large and fragrant, just for old time’s sake.

WhatTheHeck August 20, 2008 at 11:45 am

It all depends on what your definition of sex is. There was a president, a few years ago,
who said he had no sexual relations with a woman in a blue dress.

After Joe gives his speech, will he orgasm and finally unvirgin himself all over the republican crowd?

MoodProcessor August 20, 2008 at 11:48 am

I’m still waiting for Sour Joe to publicly refute reports of his superfluous third nipple.
And that he was born with a full set of teeth.

Gopherit v2.0 August 20, 2008 at 11:55 am

[re=63791]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Yeah, with the Rogering he took in 2000, there’s no way anyone could call him a virgin.

theblackdog August 20, 2008 at 12:01 pm

But if Liebs is a secret repub, then it means he is not an anal virgin.

Hooray For Anything August 20, 2008 at 12:01 pm

I don’t think Joe is a virgin, but as an Orthodox Jew, he probably only does it through a hole in a sheet so that’s kinda like being one.

StripesAndPlaids August 20, 2008 at 12:05 pm

Leiberman speaking with the Repubicans? Looks like Al Gore knew what he was doing when he didn’t endorse Jo-mentum.

jagorev August 20, 2008 at 12:06 pm

The insinuation that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, would run with a 66-year-old virgin on the ticket, is outrageous.

rev_matt_y August 20, 2008 at 12:19 pm

Wow, this would be completely awesome. Joe could be the first politician in US history to lose as both the Dem AND the Rep VP candidate!

23 Skidoo August 20, 2008 at 12:31 pm

Seriously, I hope all the CT Democrats that voted for Joe because of his “principles” and “integrity” take this one in. What a pig.

Perhaps Obama will pick Ned Lamont as his running mate to rub it in a little!

loquaciousmusic August 20, 2008 at 12:35 pm

[re=63884]23 Skidoo[/re]: I second that emotion, as you all know.

Last week, I was driving through elitist Wilton, Connecticut, and I saw an “I’m sticking with JOE” sign that someone had stapled to a telephone pole and left up since 2004.

I hope that person is dead now.

loudmouthredhead August 20, 2008 at 12:35 pm

C’mon guys…srsly. Oral doesn’t count, regardless of whose “oil barrel of pleasure” was in there!

If you pray hard enough, jeebus will restore you to virginal purity, right? RIGHT?!

loudmouthredhead August 20, 2008 at 12:37 pm

[re=63855]Hooray For Anything[/re]: You have to get him going first by talking about war with Iran, though. That makes him all frisky.

DangerousLiberal August 20, 2008 at 12:40 pm

Well, I can think of one place where Joe will no longer be a virgin after the Dems are through with him after the 2008 elections….oh, wait, that’s more what a Republican would to to Joe. Either way, watch yer, uhh, backside after Nov. 4, Senator.

Redhead August 20, 2008 at 12:42 pm

I could believe this, actually. I mean, in Republican-logic, ghey buttsecks isn’t real secks, so sure he’s still a virgin…

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 20, 2008 at 12:46 pm

I thought that Liberman goes to Home Depot and pays migrant workers to come to his house and choke him in the shower.

Voyou Charmant August 20, 2008 at 12:50 pm

I’m doing my best to let YouTube know.

Voyou Charmant August 20, 2008 at 12:51 pm

“Joe Lieberman doesn’t care about sex, people” eh? eh?

Mumble Softly August 20, 2008 at 1:03 pm

Is there anything in the constitution that prevents Dick “shooter” Cheney from running for another term as veep? Even if there was , I am sure that he and his talented justice department have taken care of that part of the document along with the other “suggested guidelines” that the consitution was thought to have provided.

Miller August 20, 2008 at 1:20 pm

When Joe and John kiss at center stage, all you mean liberals are going to be so mad you made fun of them. IT’S TRUE LOVE!!! STOP STANDING IN THEIR WAY!!!!!

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

Mr. Herpes August 20, 2008 at 1:20 pm

Then the GOP would officially become the Flabby Old White Guy Party. Ol’ Uncle John and Uncle Joe. Were a lot of fun when they were young, but, you know… Now they just bitch a lot about young people, what it was like in their day, why it takes so long to pee, and each have a staffer in charge of Clipping Nose Hair.

tonashideska August 20, 2008 at 1:27 pm

Is Lindsey Graham a virgin too?

TGY August 20, 2008 at 1:33 pm

Joe Lieberman is a virgin? The evidence is only circumcisional. Er. Circumstantial. Forget it.

Cape Clod August 20, 2008 at 1:46 pm

Yeah, great choice McCain. I’m sure Joe will fire up the crowd with his legendary gift for oratory.

Ever heard the sound of 18,000 people being awakened from a nap? You will when the airhorns go off at the end of the speach.

DailyComicsReview August 20, 2008 at 1:53 pm

Cheeks and Jowls 2008!

CollegeStudent August 20, 2008 at 1:59 pm

Look, if John Edwards can have sex with a woman and not father her children, it is prefectly reasonable to assume that Lieberman can have children and still be a virgin.

This just in: John Edwards has just denied that he is the father of Lieberman’s children, too.

cheeto_christ August 20, 2008 at 2:09 pm

Frankly, I wouldn’t piss on ol Joe if his heart were on fire. now there’s an image for you.

Gopherit v2.0 August 20, 2008 at 3:08 pm

[re=64031]tonashideska[/re]: in the same way Joe is? Yes.

Jingo August 21, 2008 at 1:27 am

I doubt Lieberman will be McCain’s veep choice. Not only is he pro-life, but he is also Jewish, which means he should believe that life doesn’t begin until birth (or if you ask his Rabbi, life doesn’t begin until your youngest kid is married and moves out of the house. Hyuk Hyuk.) Then again, Lieberman is a virgin so maybe he never had to think about it.

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