• February 15, 2012

Mark Warner is a stud, especially from the Upper Deck of a Denver arena! What was he talking about, Change We Need? Changing energy? Saving the middle class? No: Changing the middle class. Yes We Can show those toothless gypsy whiners how to make a goddamn dollar every once in a while.

9:51 — First point: this is probably not as good as Barack Obama’s keynote speech in 2004. And thank god, because now we won’t have to worry about someone challenging Hillary in 2012 and fucking everything up again.
9:52 — We’re all in this together! We need education! Blah blah. Why can’t we have more Denny Kucinich and his message of “Change We Can Wake Up In America”?
9:53 — He is telling a story about “The Boy From Lebanon,” who is like Bill Clinton’s twin Muslim brother from Hezbollah. He was either killed in the 2007 Virginia Tech massacre or he wasn’t. Or something. The point is: Mark Warner closed the deficit when he was Governor.
9:56 — Oh, uh, he’s done. He doesn’t want bipartisanship, the end.
9:57 — Ha ha this dude sitting next to us keeps telling us to hold up our signs. He works on the Trains.
9:59 — Mark Warner is escorted off by a leggy coterie of DNC roadie gals. And now they are licking his teeth, which is how he gets sexually pleasured.
10:00 — Oh look, Ted Strickland, the Governor of Ohio.
10:03 — Thank God this guy wasn’t vice president, or any of those people. Seriously, is Joe Biden the only person in the entire Democratic party with a sense of humanity, or humor, at all? Y’all can comment on this Red Schoolhouse McGovernor Strickland until Hillary comes and makes our cramped legs hurt even more.

{ 108 comments }

MedianHater August 26, 2008 at 9:50 pm

Dude, he just said “slave-tarded” or hard-headed. I swear.

wheelie August 26, 2008 at 9:51 pm

You can change the liveblog but you can’t change this guy’s suckiness. (He is kind of cute, mind.)

ABitOfACommunist August 26, 2008 at 9:52 pm

This shitty hodgepodge of out-of-place-campaigning-for-myself and every-empty-cliche-ever-thought-of.

loganmo August 26, 2008 at 9:52 pm

ach which one should we comment in

smellyal8r August 26, 2008 at 9:54 pm

Let’s take strips of other speeches and put them in a blender and produce a speech: “Change for us is change for Scranton” Wooo…”We believe in a higher standard of living than Bangalore, India. Ladies and Ginnaman…we can get this done…we are believers in believing it done.”

Godless Liberal * August 26, 2008 at 9:55 pm

Mr. Ed is talking too long.

Fighting Bill August 26, 2008 at 9:56 pm

Thomas Jefferson reference: now that was a playa!

smellyal8r August 26, 2008 at 9:57 pm

It’s over. “All PUMAs report to the floor…all PUMAs report to the floor”…

DoctorCulturae August 26, 2008 at 9:57 pm

Not sharp-pointed enough indeed. I would say: flat.

Sharif DelMonte August 26, 2008 at 9:57 pm

That wasn’t a trainwreck or anything, but its Senate material. Was the horrible secret that derailed Warner’s presidency run ever found out? My guess is that the Russian mafia has the pictures of his dead hooker.

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star August 26, 2008 at 9:58 pm

oh thank God, he’s finished.

Hey, is it just me or are John McCain’s teeth the same yellow as Tweety’s hair?

jagorev August 26, 2008 at 9:58 pm

Jefferson could have kicked your ass, Mark Warner.

Fighting Bill August 26, 2008 at 9:59 pm

His strong mouth and bulging jaw muscles leads me to suspect the dead hooker was a dude.

jagorev August 26, 2008 at 9:59 pm

[re=70836]Sharif DelMonte[/re]: My guess is that he has a secret learning disability and never graduated 8th grade, which is the only plausible explanation for this speech.

Gopherit v2.0 August 26, 2008 at 10:01 pm

What’s the over/under on the number of times we hear “www.hillaryclinton.com”?

DoctorCulturae August 26, 2008 at 10:01 pm

But Chris & Keith. We said the same things in 1980 & 1984 & 1988 & 2000 & 2004…

jagorev August 26, 2008 at 10:01 pm

Why the FUCK did they applaud the death of Stephanie Tubbs Jones?

sweetits August 26, 2008 at 10:02 pm

anyone want to place bets on when keith kicks matthews ass on LIVE TEEVEE?

Street Organizer August 26, 2008 at 10:02 pm

worst speech today…

Gopherit v2.0 August 26, 2008 at 10:02 pm

Wow. First time I’ve agreed with Buchanan in a while.

WonkaBee August 26, 2008 at 10:03 pm

Michelle’s on PBS!!!!

DoctorCulturae August 26, 2008 at 10:03 pm

Brava Rachel!

Gopherit v2.0 August 26, 2008 at 10:03 pm

Get him Rachel!! Have my babies!

badco/LoJ August 26, 2008 at 10:04 pm

[re=70848]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: No shit, huh?

smellyal8r August 26, 2008 at 10:04 pm

Man, MSNBC is a meltdown waiting to happen isn’t it? Wow. All they need to is add Dan Rather to run the circus and it’d be on MTV for 13 weeks.

jagorev August 26, 2008 at 10:06 pm

They sell freezers at grocery stores now?

Sharif DelMonte August 26, 2008 at 10:06 pm

What about the odds that Hillary is feeling “so” something? She’s not excited, she’s “so” excited. She’s not honored, she’s “so” honored. I’m not high, I’m “so” high that doing shots during Hillary’s speech will likely knock me out.

AnnieGetYourFun August 26, 2008 at 10:07 pm

Cramped legs? I thought you guys had rented a hot tub on the upper deck?

WHOAH. What the fuck was with that wavering in Strickland’s voice? Was that old-school rage?

badco/LoJ August 26, 2008 at 10:07 pm

Fuck, why didn’t they get Buchanan to give the keynote?

Do-over?

jagorev August 26, 2008 at 10:07 pm

Convoluted baseball analogy… Ted Strickland clearly doesn’t care about women voters, slap in the face to Hillary, etc.

ing August 26, 2008 at 10:07 pm

[re=70842]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: you just made me spit my beer on my keyboard.

jagorev August 26, 2008 at 10:10 pm

“Everybody has a chance at bat.” Ted Strickland opposes the Designated Hitter rule, and therefore hates America.

Jon in Austin August 26, 2008 at 10:10 pm

Rachel Maddow’s head just exploded over Mark Warner’s speech. Yikes.

badco/LoJ August 26, 2008 at 10:10 pm

Why am I not drinking?

CivicHoliday August 26, 2008 at 10:11 pm

goddamnit. that was such self-aggrandizing bullshit. “I want to be your Senator, folks – I’m post-partisan and will balance the budget and oh by the way I invented the cell phone!”

boo. you fail.

Anonymous August 26, 2008 at 10:12 pm

Darn left handed leaders!

wheelie August 26, 2008 at 10:12 pm

I want someone to come on and say, “Hey, you know, my parents were wealthy and I breezed through my early life! Oh yeah.”

So Hillary comes on at what time?

DoctorCulturae August 26, 2008 at 10:12 pm

Yep. I think the DNCC & Hopey has set up Hilz. Having DD Myers on saying Biden carries the burden is proof to me.

bhosp August 26, 2008 at 10:12 pm

I think Maddow and Matthews have been a’drinkin’.

jagorev August 26, 2008 at 10:13 pm

Christ, are Barry and Biden literally the only interesting Democratic politicians on earth?

AnnieGetYourFun August 26, 2008 at 10:13 pm

Hm. Does John McCain really want to abolish the Department of Education?

Pacodenero August 26, 2008 at 10:15 pm

Hillary is stalling and is late! lol

WonkaBee August 26, 2008 at 10:15 pm

PBS is catching up on Deval Patrick’s speech,…. he’s pretty good. But did he plagiarize Obama?

AnnieGetYourFun August 26, 2008 at 10:15 pm

Oh, snap. Dig at Lieberman there. Nice.

Sharif DelMonte August 26, 2008 at 10:16 pm

Deval Patrick! Who is Neil Kinnock introducing?

Street Organizer August 26, 2008 at 10:16 pm

Apparently there is a LOT of positive things going on in America that I am not privy to. Also, it can only happen here?

Texan Bulldoggette August 26, 2008 at 10:16 pm

Dang, they should have gotten Wonketteer ‘angryblackguy’; he’d have done a better job & kept the crowd awake. Hell, the Teletubbies would have done a better job…. Now we have to listen to Carville bitching & moaning again about how lame the convention is (which I’m starting to agree with).

chaseychasem August 26, 2008 at 10:16 pm

Deval wins!

GoLikeHellMachine August 26, 2008 at 10:16 pm

Christ, at this point, even Clinton’s speech is looking good.

DoctorCulturae August 26, 2008 at 10:17 pm

[re=70865]CivicHoliday[/re]: Look, if Warners speech WAS vetted by the DNC then they knew he’d speak this way (no home run) and they were okay with it. They DID NOT get Hilz AND preznit clintbot speeches. This is a leverage game to smoke them out or take the fall. Rachel and Keith and even Buchanan are on to this…

jagorev August 26, 2008 at 10:17 pm

Deval Patrick is like a mediocre, underwhelming version of Barry.

Dientes August 26, 2008 at 10:17 pm

Bill! Hugs everyone and they like it.

badco/LoJ August 26, 2008 at 10:18 pm

Is that Todd Bridges?

smellyal8r August 26, 2008 at 10:18 pm

Tonight HRC will debut her new “look” for the coming four years. A flowing black skirt, a white long sleeved blouse with a tailored black jacket and black bonnet. She will then travel the country by Conestoga Wagon to bring people back to the land. The land she “so loves” (not just loves). In mourning for a country that was not yet ready for her, she will weep for her people. Behold, another incarnation of Mrs. Clinton.

AnnieGetYourFun August 26, 2008 at 10:18 pm

NPR says that Michelle Obama spoke at a gay/lesbian caucus today. Why no coverage? I love teh gayz! AND Michelle.

ing August 26, 2008 at 10:18 pm

Okay, I’ll admit, the bolo tie does something for me. I’m not sure what that something is…

wheelie August 26, 2008 at 10:19 pm

Oh jeez another random Governor. He’s never held public office before apparently. That’s his big calling card.

White Nick August 26, 2008 at 10:19 pm

Did Deval Patrick just slip in a Clinton slam? “Som frankly even in our own party who don’t want to change the status quo”? Hillary is gonna go all Carrie on this shit I swear.

jagorev August 26, 2008 at 10:19 pm

Thank god for Schweitzer. he might be third interesting Dem politician in existence.

Fighting Bill August 26, 2008 at 10:21 pm

That tie was a gift from Larry Craig…..not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Wait a minute, There IS something wrong with that.

Texan Bulldoggette August 26, 2008 at 10:21 pm

You know it’s bad when the Daily Kos crowd is dissing him. They’re all freaking out over there.

jagorev August 26, 2008 at 10:21 pm

[re=70890]White Nick[/re]: I hope she burns the whole place down, because that would be better for the Democrats than this chain of stupid speeches.

KittyKatMan August 26, 2008 at 10:21 pm

Well, there’s Bill in the audience. He’s not spitting, that’s good.

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 26, 2008 at 10:22 pm

What a magnetic, energetic and super speech Warner gave! I’ve been switching between “Psycho” on Turner Classic Movie and the Cornvention.

Warner talks about Lebanon VA and Janet Leigh steals a billion dollars cash…
Highway patrol Nazi in shades questions Leigh, Warner frets about national defense and Biden’s hutzpah…
Now Gov. Schweitzer is waxing eloquent-like about Montana cattle, Janet’s counting her money in the car lot bathroom, forgets her suitcase…

Somehow the climactic shower scene will coincide with Hillz’s triumphant encore….
poetic justice has never been so sweet

Go PUMAS!

Keram2 August 26, 2008 at 10:22 pm

Peggy Noonan, Michelle Norris, and Rachel Maddow are all on NBC right now. I can’t express how awesome that is. Holy shit.

smellyal8r August 26, 2008 at 10:23 pm

My favorite part of MSNBC’s coverage is that right now, no matter who’s talking we are watching Bill Clinton. What’s he going to do? begin making out with that PUMA next to him?

AnnieGetYourFun August 26, 2008 at 10:23 pm

[re=70888]ing[/re]: That’s what we call “vomiting in your own mouth”.

Ooh, nice growl from Schweitzer on the “American made” thing. The call and response? Not so much.

KittyKatMan August 26, 2008 at 10:23 pm

[re=70890]White Nick[/re]:
lol. The bucket of blood is waiting for Barry.

soytrucknutz August 26, 2008 at 10:23 pm

Delegates, I ask for unanimous consent that we head to the bar.

DoctorCulturae August 26, 2008 at 10:23 pm

Gestures 101

jagorev August 26, 2008 at 10:23 pm

I think I get why all the speeches suck so much. It’s the positioning of the teleprompter. I’ve never seen speakers look straight at the camera like this. It’s unnerving.

loganmo August 26, 2008 at 10:25 pm

god damn that fat f*ck from montana is ugly

jagorev August 26, 2008 at 10:25 pm

It would be natural if the teleprompter were a little closer to the speaker, and below him somewhat, so that it’d look like he was speaking to the audience instead of right at my face.

Texan Bulldoggette August 26, 2008 at 10:26 pm

Thank gawd no one watches this crap. Oh wait….

smellyal8r August 26, 2008 at 10:26 pm

[re=70901]soytrucknutz[/re]: Without objection, so ordered.

ing August 26, 2008 at 10:26 pm

[re=70899]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: It’s the satellite delay?

rikitikitavi August 26, 2008 at 10:26 pm

Best quote of the night on CNN.

Paul Begala: Without Mark Penn, Hillary Clinton wouldn’t be where she is today. She’s be the nominee.

soytrucknutz August 26, 2008 at 10:27 pm

Governor Schweitzer just said that he wants to drill into John McCain’s back is he a Red Vietnamese Homo?

Fighting Bill August 26, 2008 at 10:27 pm

Bee-ull, is your lip itchin’?

rikitikitavi August 26, 2008 at 10:28 pm

Do people from Montana always talk this much?

Pacodenero August 26, 2008 at 10:28 pm

[re=70905]jagorev[/re]: agreed its a bit disconcerting. the prompter is displayed right behind a camera.

OffTheRecord August 26, 2008 at 10:28 pm

Oh holy fuck. Someone get Bill Richardson off of the television. Now!

loganmo August 26, 2008 at 10:28 pm

wind turbans? is that some secret muslamic thing?

ing August 26, 2008 at 10:28 pm

[re=70910]rikitikitavi[/re]: And this is what I get for watching C-SPAN and not CNN, dammit.

hockeymom August 26, 2008 at 10:29 pm

I’m slightly horrified, yet strangely attracted to the governor of Montana.
Is that wrong?

wheelie August 26, 2008 at 10:29 pm

H ha, this Schweitzer guy is loving it. This is his big moment and he will milk it!

CivicHoliday August 26, 2008 at 10:31 pm
hockeymom August 26, 2008 at 10:31 pm

[re=70920]wheelie[/re]: All of a sudden he’s turned into Richard Simmons…stand up! Get off your asses! Let’s sweat!

smellyal8r August 26, 2008 at 10:31 pm

[re=70919]hockeymom[/re]: Yes. Very. I’m afraid it’s his big frame and the bolo tie. Step away from the teevee.

jagorev August 26, 2008 at 10:31 pm

This is basically Schweitzer’s audition for Secretary of Energy.

I can’t wait for 2016, when the ticket is Schweitzer-Richardson. Now that’s a couple of fat bolo-tie wearing Western governors we can believe in.

DoctorCulturae August 26, 2008 at 10:32 pm

[re=70903]jagorev[/re]: You know, this is a leverage festival. We all know but are not saying the Clintbots have revealed themselves as selfish weenies. And we know they will not back off, ever. Dick Morris says this CONSTANTLY. They are going to do what Teddy did in 1980: give lip service.

rikitikitavi August 26, 2008 at 10:32 pm

[re=70919]hockeymom[/re]: the more I listen, the more I like. this guy really grows on you.

smellyal8r August 26, 2008 at 10:32 pm

I see from picture in picture that R Federer (a foreign person) has just won his match at the US Open. I can now devote full attention to the arrival of she who is “…ladies and gentelmen…every knee shall bend…”

DoctorCulturae August 26, 2008 at 10:33 pm

Ladies and gentlemen, please don your protective catharsis clothing, goggles down.

Sonic Former Youth August 26, 2008 at 10:33 pm

I’m watching online with a really bad connection, and Gov. Brian keeps pixelating. Even if that isn’t really a word, it’s the only way to go right now. Oops! he just froze with half a face!

loganmo August 26, 2008 at 10:33 pm

i think that dude should be the VP

loganmo August 26, 2008 at 10:34 pm

I love Bill as “Hillary’s Husband” lolz

chaseychasem August 26, 2008 at 10:34 pm

we wanna hear u SCREEEEEEAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM!

Hopey McSlamdunk August 26, 2008 at 10:34 pm

Hillary loves the Kinks and Lenny Kravitz. And the gays. And Chelsea. I am “so” excited for this speech.

AnnieGetYourFun August 26, 2008 at 10:35 pm

Oh, damn, they di’int just use my favorite Tom Petty song on teh Hillz.

rikitikitavi August 26, 2008 at 10:35 pm

[re=70919]hockeymom[/re]: Awesome send-off: That’s it baby, let’s go win this election!!

damn, he really does grow on you. he’s like my junior high gym coach.

hockeymom August 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

OK…this Hillary video seems like a big coming out party for her daughter.
Clever.

jagorev August 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

[re=70921]CivicHoliday[/re]: That’s pretty good, and true. I know I’ve been secretly wishing my girlfriend were more like Michelle.

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star August 26, 2008 at 10:37 pm

Wow… Michelle O looks really pretty in that creamy white dress and her hair up. So classy-looking. M

wheelie August 26, 2008 at 10:37 pm

New liveblog of Hillspeach08.

CivicHoliday August 26, 2008 at 10:38 pm

ORANGE

Big Ass Belle August 26, 2008 at 11:44 pm

no likey big toothed man.

TaraAriano August 27, 2008 at 10:23 am

His teeth are seriously terrifying. Anyway, MP3 highlights of his keynote are up: http://www.entertonement.com/collections/2549/Mark-Warner-Keynote-Speech

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: