• February 12, 2012

Uhh, that’s your terrible & presiding president, “George,” with the sparkles. What’s his importance tonight. No one knows. No one knows why George Bush isn’t LOCKING THIS CRAP UP for Barry Obama. Who won this debate? Let’s see what the teevee pundits say, on CNN. Once it ends which will be never.

10:34 — Uh, they’re still talking? Barack Obama wants to be the next not George W. Bush.
10:34 — McCain, being a cock. “Barack Obama does not have the knowledge or experience to win the Iraq. The Surge, he was wrong.” Nah, he wasn’t. And if this election is decided by THE SURGE then everyone should just inter themselves, into hell.
10:35 — Obama: “My dad was from Kenya, which is where I got my name.” Ah, so Al Qaeda was based in Kenya. Who knew! Go Amin!!!1!
10:37 — DRINK 9 DRINKS AND HAVE 40 VICODIN, John McCain just talked about when he “got back from prison.” He was in jail? Did he rape a wombat?
10:39 — OVER!! McCain says, “good job John,” and then cuts his tendons.
10:40 — Alright, we’re watching CNN. Who won? Someone please answer, because we were not even conscious and have to write a liveblog.
10:41 — People basically say, “eh, some people did their thing and other people did theirs.”
10:43 — No one has any idea who fucking won. Alan Keyes. Alan Keyes won the debate.
10:43 — Oh ho, now we go to the “Partisans’ Panel.” Meaning Wolf Blitzer asks a bunch of party hacks what they think. Oh look at that, Bill Bennett thought McCain won. Hmm!
10:45 — Just turned on MSNBC and all I see is some map showing viewers in like Madagascar. Hooray! MSNBC is poop. OH AND NOW they have commercials too. Oh crap, T. Boone Pickens. Why do we have to watch him now? WHERE IS CHUCKY TODD. Wants to c his man boobsz.
10:48 — No one knows what happened. So! I am ending this. Ken may or may not take over. OPEN THREAD until then. Go out and play with your friends, is my recommendation.

DUDES: Your Wonkette will be at Finn McCool’s in D.C. (8th Street SE) in like 15 minutes (11:30). We don’t expect any of you douches to show, but if you want, look for the asshole with the red hair. LATER. Gonna get me some fish ‘n’ chips.

{ 188 comments }

chascates September 26, 2008 at 10:32 pm

Should have made Walnuts snap! Too nice.

graceless September 26, 2008 at 10:33 pm

I once dated a guy who wore a jacket that sparkled that way… emphasis on the once. Somehow, W seems to make it work!

thwanger September 26, 2008 at 10:33 pm

sweet jesus. wow. that picture is just.. wow… i’m tripping, right? none of this is real, right? just tell me i don’t have to stay in this room. right now. just tell me i don’t have to stay in this room.

LeastValuablePlayer September 26, 2008 at 10:34 pm

I would say that this video pretty much sums up McCain’s campaign thus far:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbcggJmCTnA

Swiftboat Willie!

smashtheduck September 26, 2008 at 10:34 pm

From one vet to another, FUCK YOU MCCAIN. You’ve never given a flying fuck about veterans.

jagorev September 26, 2008 at 10:34 pm

Nice closing words from Obama. “Broader strategic vision” than Bush.

McCain basically agrees.

Jesus, does George Bush have any friends left?

SayItWithWookies September 26, 2008 at 10:34 pm

McCain says he’ll take care of vets. By voting down increases in their benefits.

chascates September 26, 2008 at 10:34 pm

Ah, Senator, but your VEEP needs on the job training!

rambone September 26, 2008 at 10:34 pm

Walnuts! loves the veterans? Isn’t that frowned upon? I guess five and a half years can do that to a “man.”

LeastValuablePlayer September 26, 2008 at 10:35 pm

I would say that this video sums up McCain’s campaign thus far fairly well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbcggJmCTnA

niner September 26, 2008 at 10:35 pm

I think Walnuts! just tried to compare Barry to Bush. wow.

jagorev September 26, 2008 at 10:35 pm

Neither one is going to let the other one get a last word. This thing is going to go on forever until the sun implodes. Barry picks this moment to remind everyone that he’s a Muslim Luo tribesman.

WIDTAP September 26, 2008 at 10:35 pm

WhooHoo! Finally we get to hear that McCain was a POW!

d4g33z September 26, 2008 at 10:35 pm

Ugh! He did it! He pulled the POW shit out at the very end.

OhGodNo September 26, 2008 at 10:35 pm

Note to WONKETTE: STOP with the Blingee.
Please.

chascates September 26, 2008 at 10:35 pm

The veterans really weren’t badly treated after Vietnam, you liar.

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

I’m just waiting for the big sloppy kiss at the end.

columnv September 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

the debate was about never using blingee again. that had about as much staying power as Palin did to any rational conservative.

jagorev September 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

And McCain ends with FIVE AND A HALF YEARS.

NotLaughing September 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

That picture looks just like the guy who imitates Bush.

________________________

I am protesting being thrown off

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ProfessorJukes September 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

I’m still amazed at how Crazy McCain was totally afraid to look Obama in the eye. Or even the package. WTF? Why wouldn’t he look at him?

McCain is a coward. He’s a-skeered of the big black man!

rambone September 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

It, it’s over??? But Mac didn’t ask Barry to sing one of those old negro spirituals.

AngryBlakGuy September 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

…WoW, Cindy has on almost as much make-up as WALNUTS!

thwanger September 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

i’m repeating this: sorry. it just pissed me off so much.

big fat old liar liar liar! maccain hates all veterans because none of them have suffered for FOUR AND A HALF YEARS like “he” has.

Crab1 September 26, 2008 at 10:36 pm

Nice track suit, Cindy.

SayItWithWookies September 26, 2008 at 10:37 pm

“I know how to deal with our adversaries and I know how to deal with our friends.” Well, John — thanks for explaining that in such detail.

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 26, 2008 at 10:37 pm

But the Surge! Come on, the Surge!

Dear God, I thought Palin repeated herself a lot.

chascates September 26, 2008 at 10:37 pm

Gwen Eiffel will do a much better job. Be scared, Sarah! Be VERY scared!

graceless September 26, 2008 at 10:37 pm

It’s over, Yay!

SayItWithWookies September 26, 2008 at 10:37 pm

Oh it’s Cindy McCain — hiiiiiiiiiiigh, Cindy!

NoWireHangers September 26, 2008 at 10:37 pm

[re=112347]OhGodNo[/re]: Oh, but it’s soooo sweet!

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 26, 2008 at 10:37 pm

How dare Obama top McCain’s pissy anger with Hope!

jagorev September 26, 2008 at 10:38 pm

Obama plays the alpha male by walking into McCain’s half of the stage first. I thought you were supposed to let the weak and infirm walk ahead of you?

columnv September 26, 2008 at 10:38 pm

[re=112362]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: he had lip gloss, no?

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 26, 2008 at 10:38 pm

Damn, Hope shot down with downer POW story.

lizards_of_satan September 26, 2008 at 10:38 pm

“i can heal the wounds of war”

*lol* WALNUTS! is jeebus-complex

SayItWithWookies September 26, 2008 at 10:38 pm

Oooh, Nicole Lapin. Did you know Lapin is French for rabbit?

loquaciousmusic September 26, 2008 at 10:39 pm

Yeah, so do you guys think McCain won?

NoWireHangers September 26, 2008 at 10:39 pm

Barry totally won. Enough for this. Time to get dressed to go out drinking. Let Friday begin!

simetrias September 26, 2008 at 10:39 pm

What is up with Cindy’s hair? Is she back on the painkillers?

SloppyCronkite September 26, 2008 at 10:39 pm

I am crying inside!!!! Tom Brokaw is looking old, what’s with the cancer on his temple. He’s saying that Obama was pussy for not linking McCain to Bush.

Slabgorb September 26, 2008 at 10:39 pm

I would like to note that McCain was the guy standing in front of the Walter Reed Middle School for much of his convention speech.

Weeping Jesus September 26, 2008 at 10:39 pm

McCain won every segment when he said, “Obama don’t seem to understand…[fill in blank]” and Obama lost every one where he said “DaNuts is right about that….”

No overall winner. No major effups.

MathewBrooks September 26, 2008 at 10:39 pm

You NEVER wear a striped tie on TV. McCain’s stylist should be fired for such a rookie mistake.

simetrias September 26, 2008 at 10:40 pm

I’d say barry did damn well on security issues. Way better than he usually does. Walnuts was sentiment and anecdote.

Lazy Media September 26, 2008 at 10:40 pm

Obama made the right move. Note how the Marvin Monroe meter dropped for teh Independents every time one of them said a nasty about the other (or even about Bush, for cryi). Teh Independents want daddy to fix everything, forever, and they want to pick the nice daddy.

Ds and Rs don’t count; they’ve all already early voted.

SloppyCronkite September 26, 2008 at 10:40 pm

NBC NEWS GUY: McCain, “something about Obama bothers him”

HE IS BLACK HE IS BLACK HE IS BLACK HE IS BLACK HE IS BLACK

chascates September 26, 2008 at 10:41 pm

The community organizer in Obama makes him too nice for these debates. He has got to stop saying “John is right” or “I agree with John.” He has got to hit him hard and not let up. Even if he agrees he should just rephrase it.

slowhansolo September 26, 2008 at 10:41 pm

I dunno, comparatively speaking, Barry’s not so hot on his feet, no?

McCain still deserves a starving wolverine up his anus.

ifthethunderdontgetya September 26, 2008 at 10:41 pm

POW!

POW! POW! POW!

Just like the 4th of July.

~

nurple September 26, 2008 at 10:41 pm

Like I said, the swings are looking for a perverse reason to dislike Obama. He took no risks tonite but dammit he knows Mac’s got strong feet on this subject.

jagorev September 26, 2008 at 10:41 pm

[re=112384]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Stalemate. Which means that the guy who’s been ahead coming into the debate (Obama) wins.

NoWireHangers September 26, 2008 at 10:41 pm

Apparently Ted Kennedy had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. Yikes! I’m sure more details will trickle out in the next few hours.

AngryBlakGuy September 26, 2008 at 10:42 pm

…have I mention at least 600 times that I hate Pat Buchanan?!?!

lastdon September 26, 2008 at 10:42 pm

Update from Fox: William Kristol – Round 1 to Obama, every other round to McCain

ThatChicagoGuy September 26, 2008 at 10:42 pm

I’m afraid. Very Afraid. Barry didn’t deliver any knock-out punches that I can tell. He could have taken McCain to the woodshed so many times but did not. I worry that it may come out a tie. And a tie would be a big win for McCain. And most of America are dirt clods. They will see the sound bites and be all “yep, yep, McCain’s my man alrighty”. I have to go throw-up now….

WIDTAP September 26, 2008 at 10:43 pm

Bennett is correct (I just gagged typing that). Obama was generous and McCain played his game.

populucious September 26, 2008 at 10:43 pm

Personally I thought Johnny Mac was excellent at articulating why he was against every single part of his own party’s platform, ceptin the war mongering business. He lurves the war!

In fact, he did such a fabulous job of articulating the lousiness of the party he has spent his whole life being against while part of, I’m definitely going to vote for the other guy.

Cookie Guggelman September 26, 2008 at 10:43 pm

[re=112407]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Cannot be mentioned enough.

Sean O September 26, 2008 at 10:44 pm

Obama needed to be stronger, and he missed so many opportunities. I’m seriously disappointed.

NotLaughing September 26, 2008 at 10:44 pm

Are they on their way back to save the economy?

_____________________

I am protesting being thrown off

http://wonkette.chatango.com/

chascates September 26, 2008 at 10:44 pm

[re=112408]lastdon[/re]: Now THAT is a fair and balanced viewpoint!

SloppyCronkite September 26, 2008 at 10:45 pm

Hmmm…Is it wrong to think that Diane Sawyer is pretty hawt? I’d still do her.

simetrias September 26, 2008 at 10:46 pm

Barry played it like a primary debate.

Weeping Jesus September 26, 2008 at 10:47 pm

NPR panel: fairly even, except McCain kept putting Obama on defensive…. Obama needs a catchphrase like the “Sen. Obama doesn’t seem to understand” because he’s getting kneecapped every time that comes out. Reagan won with the “There you go again” stuff and “are you better off now” stuff. Obama needs a fresh line…not “true dat!”….something like that though.

SloppyCronkite September 26, 2008 at 10:47 pm

Giuliani is lying on TeeVee. In other news, the sun will rise tomorrow. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIS EYEs? He’s high as fuck — the only way he could live with himself.

Monsieur Grumpe September 26, 2008 at 10:48 pm

[re=112407]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
What is you opinion on Pat Buchanan? Hmmmmmm?

SloppyCronkite September 26, 2008 at 10:48 pm

I WANT TO STAB GIULIANI IN THE THROAT!

AngryBlakGuy September 26, 2008 at 10:48 pm

[re=112412]Cookie Guggelman[/re]: …just trying to cover my bases!

voyetra8 September 26, 2008 at 10:49 pm

Wow… so where is Sarah Palin?

They brought in Giuliani instead?

shortsshortsshorts September 26, 2008 at 10:49 pm

Why does no one accept the city of Gnome? Why is Palin doin’ OH SO BADLY in her own state?

essrog September 26, 2008 at 10:49 pm

Just tuned in to CBS. Where did Katie Couric’s neck disappear to???

j6n September 26, 2008 at 10:50 pm

McCain wanted to make you think Obama is risky. Obama never said anything to make people nervous about him.

NotLaughing September 26, 2008 at 10:50 pm

Donna Brazille is going to weigh herself in a moment.

StripesAndPlaids September 26, 2008 at 10:50 pm

In watching the pundits post debate I am convinced of one thing: Nobody has any fucking idea what happened.

C-5 September 26, 2008 at 10:50 pm

[re=112409]ThatChicagoGuy[/re]: I agree. Barry was too cautious to have any sort of impact. The only thing that can save us now is if Palin drools on herself or something during the VP debate.

SloppyCronkite September 26, 2008 at 10:51 pm

UGH> Some CNN guy is hitting on a point I saw. Obama kept saying John is right. John is right. UGH> OBAMA should have approached this debate like a pick up game, throw some bows and go for the hoop. McCain can’t play basketball because of his cripppled arms!

arf September 26, 2008 at 10:52 pm

[re=112392]MathewBrooks[/re]: I think the tie was a ‘shout out” to Wonkette’s Blingees.

BTW, it made me throw up in my mouth a little.

The New Cassius September 26, 2008 at 10:52 pm

Just so you know, the people on CNN right now should die.

Wagamuffin September 26, 2008 at 10:52 pm

[re=112420]Weeping Jesus[/re]: Agreed on McCain’s ability to make him look like the junior Senator and lightweight. He even had he audience tittering at Barry near the end. And then Barry looked pissed. You have to SMILE, SMILE, SMILE—never let ‘em see you sweat.

AngryBlakGuy September 26, 2008 at 10:52 pm

[re=112422]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: …David Gregory is a DOUCHE too!!!

nurple September 26, 2008 at 10:52 pm

I am not particularly worried. You can’t win every point.

I think debates are processes by which a candidate’s supporters arrange topical issues in their own heads in real time, I think Obama’s statements reflected his supporters thought patterns – youthful and not too organized, but strongly oriented around a clear values system, mainly Walnuts is an idiot and Rudy is a twat.

DoctorCulturae September 26, 2008 at 10:52 pm

Don’t lose heart Wonketeers. This is not American Idol. The most contentious guy does not make the best Preznit.

NotLaughing September 26, 2008 at 10:52 pm

[re=112432]C-5[/re]: I agree about the drooling.

StripesAndPlaids September 26, 2008 at 10:53 pm

David Gergen: McCain needed a victory. It was tie. He is behind, it was his strongest subject. This is not good for McCain. That is a pundit I like. He makes me feel like Obama will win.

SloppyCronkite September 26, 2008 at 10:53 pm

HAHA, Chris Wallace says McCain and Lindsey Graham are joined at the hip. That means they both do fuck Cindy.

Graham sounds like the perverted old guy in Family Guy.

voyetra8 September 26, 2008 at 10:53 pm

[re=112432]C-5[/re]: Obama is well ahead in every electoral projection worth it’s salt. Unless McCain manages to capture EVERY independent voter, Barry’s in great shape.

legglaw September 26, 2008 at 10:54 pm

Point of personal priviledge: is it o.k. with the chair if I keep on drinking?
Carry on.

StripesAndPlaids September 26, 2008 at 10:54 pm

[re=112438]nurple[/re]: Brilliant, brilliant post.

nurple September 26, 2008 at 10:54 pm

Note to Re-pubelikkins’ – Bush I decisively won a war and cacked it the next election. Don’t get cocky.

snig September 26, 2008 at 10:55 pm

McCain talked about talking to the veterans who wanted to re-enlist. Damn noble of them wanting to go down with the ship of state and all, but does it not occur to him that that’s kind of a select population that may not be representative? I’d imagine they were gung-ho. Did he talk with a bunch of soldiers who were stop-lossed into a second tour? Maybe their feelings would be a little different?

chascates September 26, 2008 at 10:56 pm

[re=112442]SloppyCronkite[/re]: Graham is on the lookout for Amanda Huginkiss.

nurple September 26, 2008 at 10:56 pm

CNN internet babe has a belkin you could do Shakespeare from.

ivenson September 26, 2008 at 10:57 pm

OK, sorry if I repeat anyone’s points…too much too fast and i have had 9 beers.

Goddamn these cats…hard to type with kittens on the keyboard….

While Barry made lots of touchy feely eye contact tonight, every time he spoke, Walnuts hunched over and looked at “doll’s eyes” all like “do you hear the crap this uppity SOB is laying on me, Jim?”

Also, Barry had a nice black suit with a cranberry tie (and a lapel pin). Walnuts had a thin-striped tie that pulsated on my tv screen like a nuclear accident.

SloppyCronkite September 26, 2008 at 10:57 pm

Chris Matthews is saying Obama was channeling Richard Nixon….because of the eyebrows?

SayItWithWookies September 26, 2008 at 10:57 pm

Holy crap — a lady from Arkansas is saying she’s leaning towards Obama after being undecided — and it’s because of McCain’s smirking and his lack of deatail. And he was much more emotional — “I wanted answers, not emotions.” I have hope.

StripesAndPlaids September 26, 2008 at 10:58 pm

For the record: I really, really dislike Nicole Wallace.

WIDTAP September 26, 2008 at 10:58 pm

Ah Geez! The network have dived into spin alley.

Does no one listen to Jon Stewart. Has Carlson Tucker won the day?

smashtheduck September 26, 2008 at 10:59 pm

I dunno who the hell this twat is they’re interviewing on CNN but the cunt needs to die.

arf September 26, 2008 at 10:59 pm

Ah, Keith O., I luv u so.

SloppyCronkite September 26, 2008 at 10:59 pm

Oberman is coming on teevee.

StripesAndPlaids September 26, 2008 at 11:00 pm

Olberman is on. McCain not wearing a flag pin. Why does he hate America so much?

Hooray For Anything September 26, 2008 at 11:00 pm

For what it’s worth, I listened to the last half-an-hour on the radio and McCain sounded really tired and feeble. In other words, old. Of course, supposedly Nixon sounded better on the radio than Kennedy so who knows if it matters.

WIDTAP September 26, 2008 at 11:01 pm

Biden says McCain doesn’t know the difference between a strategy and a tactic. WhooBoy! That’s original.

NotLaughing September 26, 2008 at 11:02 pm

I guess Andrea and Chris are on together so they can
keep Keith and Chris apart.

StripesAndPlaids September 26, 2008 at 11:02 pm

On CNN Joe Biden just said, with a straight face, “Sarah Palin is a tough debater.”

Murph September 26, 2008 at 11:02 pm

CNN has Biden commenting, wonder if Palin is in the studio ready to go.

nurple September 26, 2008 at 11:03 pm

CNN reading campaigns’ spin.

Mac campaign said he looked Presidential. There is a “boldness gap”

Obama campaign said clear victory – forceful case for change. “Obama commanded the foreign policy section of the debate.” which is reaching a bit.

McCain campaign statement came with coupon for free pickles!

snig September 26, 2008 at 11:03 pm

I wonder how much we’ll have to spend on the war on Spain.

slowhansolo September 26, 2008 at 11:04 pm

Can’t escape it: Far too cautious and academic, Barry.

Meanwhile, McCain somehow fails to flame out, and enjoys another day by having the good grace to not keel over the podium during that particular bunch of 90 minutes.

I’m crawling into the bong now. Good night, folks!

Weeping Jesus September 26, 2008 at 11:04 pm

Maybe some day someone will finally admit: There is no way to win The War on Terror. Well, unless you eradicate every single person who ever grew up among zealots…. or Amway dealers…. just sayin’…

smashtheduck September 26, 2008 at 11:04 pm

It really sucks that Palin’s locked in the basement right now.

StripesAndPlaids September 26, 2008 at 11:04 pm

Wolf: I’d love for Sarah Palin to be joining us.
Anderson Cooper: Don’t hold your breath on that one.

nurple September 26, 2008 at 11:04 pm

Can we get Sarah Palin in Blingee one-piece?

NotLaughing September 26, 2008 at 11:05 pm

Well that was fun.

It’s too bad Obama is going to lose.

Weeping Jesus September 26, 2008 at 11:06 pm

See:

(CNN) – Before John McCain walked off the stage, his campaign already had a new Web video up featuring footage of the first debate – clips of Barack Obama agreeing with his Republican rival. On the McCain campaign Web site, spokesman Michael Goldfarb noted mid-debate that journalists were already describing that refrain as fodder for a new ad: “It’s like they have the place bugged,” he said.

Jesus on a bunk bed! It’s exactly what made me cringe! You never say you agree with your opponent unless he says, “I like women”!

nurple September 26, 2008 at 11:07 pm

Jesus:

If we had an actual foreign-affairs curriculum in this country, we could at least place the war on terra into some context. But no, everyone has to promise results. Jesus how many professors and books are there on the subject that everyone just ignores.

And love the Prince of Peace thing. Really works for you.

NotLaughing September 26, 2008 at 11:08 pm

If Obama doesn’t dumb it down a bunch, it’s going to be a landslide.

_______________________

I am protesting being thrown off

http://wonkette.chatango.com/

StripesAndPlaids September 26, 2008 at 11:08 pm

several people have said: McCain never looked at Obama.

1ofUS September 26, 2008 at 11:08 pm

Lying, you can tell when they’re lyin
Can they move their jaws and utter words
Oh yes, then they’re lying

nurple September 26, 2008 at 11:08 pm

I must be home for Conan, or Conan will be angry. You guys can finish my Metaxa.

mr.november September 26, 2008 at 11:08 pm

True entertainment will be next week. The libs are scrambling because Obama agreed with Walnuts too often. Even Olbermann has no red meat for me. I’m hungry!!

NotLaughing September 26, 2008 at 11:09 pm

When did everybody start liking women?

smashtheduck September 26, 2008 at 11:09 pm

CNN’s running the tape of Kissinger saying he would negotiate with Iran. SUCK IT!

gliberal September 26, 2008 at 11:11 pm

I say Barry needs to start throwing hands. Left hook to the midsection, straight right hand to the chin. Crushed Walnuts.

WIDTAP September 26, 2008 at 11:12 pm

[re=112475]Weeping Jesus[/re]: See – this is what you get when you nominate someone who really does want bi-partisanship and a new politic in Washington. He may, in fact practice what he preaches in the debates.

natoslug September 26, 2008 at 11:12 pm

[re=112450]ivenson[/re]: Ah good, so I’m not the only one suffering from McCain’s strobe tie. At least it distracted from the tumour that is his head.

WoundedVeteran September 26, 2008 at 11:13 pm

All the glitter in the world won’t change George W. Bush Shit. As I said on another post, I have been shitting in a 13 gallon tall kitchen bag for about ten days now. I’m looking for investors seein as how I have shit close to 2o lbs in the tall kitchen bag and am looking to sell my shit at 300k per ounce outright and for 350k in futures. I figure if I stuff my cake hole with six or so pickled eggs and three or four bratwurst dogs complete with sour kraut and sardines along with my usual fried pork chop and mashed potatoes with green peas, my ass will be spouting new reams of money early the next morning. Here’s the best part, I have a Wall Street Bank, that’s right, a Wall Street Bank, called Shitdream. FDIC covered and endorsed by the White House. My shit don’t stink. No matter, write me a check on your pension fund or your 401k, or a personal check, mortgage your home and buy some shit. The kicker is if I’m wrong, congress will debate the cause and cure, but will never talk about the SHIT.

ihasasad September 26, 2008 at 11:13 pm

[re=112329]LeastValuablePlayer[/re]: That was the sixth plane he crashed

WIDTAP September 26, 2008 at 11:13 pm

[re=112483]smashtheduck[/re]: CNN is now quoting the instant release of Dr. Killinger’s instant denial memo. He didn’t the President should meet.

Sussemilch September 26, 2008 at 11:13 pm

So, Obama won the pageant and McCain was Miss Congeniality.

WIDTAP September 26, 2008 at 11:16 pm

$50 bucks says that every “You’re right. John” from Obama ends up in the next three McCain Web videos.

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 26, 2008 at 11:16 pm

Oooh. The Frank Lutz group of undecided bitters in Nevada for FOX went toward Obama heavily. They thought that McCain was antangonistic, while Obama came across in command.

Hell, I just have to have Dick Morris tell me that McCain won, and this might have been a rout.

slappypaddy September 26, 2008 at 11:16 pm

happy to report back on my medz… testimony: like millions of other merkuns, my dad served in vietnam… he’s an old man now, he served in korea, too… remember that one? his kid brother died there… we’re from the south, patriotic service and all that… no, really… anyway, dad, who was wounded in both wars but still has arms n’legs he can use, says this administration–and one would hafta assume at least with the connivance of the congress–is screwin the vets royal… mom agrees, and she’s been married to him since right before he went off to that long-ago war in korea… which is still goin on, b. ‘n j. sorta talked around that tonight… good evening… take a toke fer the gipper…

SayItWithWookies September 26, 2008 at 11:16 pm

It’s pretty shortsighted of the McCain campaign to cite Obama’s “I agree with Senator McCain” statements — they were ironic lead-ins to a greater disagreement. Taking them out of context is going to be easily refutable, and this will backfire if the McCain folks play it up.

Weeping Jesus September 26, 2008 at 11:17 pm

I really think Obama needs to get some new input for his strategy in the next debate. The only thing I’d keep for next time is calling McCain “Tom” like he did that one time…shows how forgettable McCain is.

Well, that and he needs to find more ways to remind people that DaNuts looks suspiciously like former pro wrestler George the Animal Steele.

snig September 26, 2008 at 11:19 pm

[re=112425]voyetra8[/re]: She’s working on her baton toss routine for the next debate.

WIDTAP September 26, 2008 at 11:19 pm

[re=112496]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Ooh, looks like I have a taker. Just so you know, I’ll take the $50 in Jamisons.

DC Spring September 26, 2008 at 11:20 pm

Basstards, Newell. Love to join you but I’m in the burbs already. Next time try the Irish pub on Mcarthur Bvd.

They got RUGBY! Wahooa. A bloodsport without pads. I’m thinkin’…

ihasasad September 26, 2008 at 11:21 pm

The people who are voting for Obama want him to kick the crap out of McCain, but these debates aren’t for the people who are already voting for him. He has to walk a fine line because it has been proven that undecideds are a finicky bunch, like spaz catz. They’ll be layin all out, purring and shit while you stroke their belly when…BAM they’re flippin over and dashing over the wood floor, losing traction and running into dryers. YOU MUST NOT SCARE THE UNDECIDEDS! They can scratch and leave marks that hurt worser than paper cuts.

uppercanada September 26, 2008 at 11:21 pm

McCain strategy: crumple paper to drown out opponent

legglaw September 26, 2008 at 11:22 pm

I HATE Leslie Sanchez. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming

Lazy Media September 26, 2008 at 11:24 pm

Finn MACCool’s. I’d walk down there and drink with Newell, but I stayed home from work with a bug and prolly no one would appreciate my germination.

C-Allis September 26, 2008 at 11:25 pm

Dems need some new (read: better) surrogates.

Boots September 26, 2008 at 11:25 pm

On the whole it was something of a draw. HOWEVER…

Am I the only one who caught it when McCain stated, when discussing another country (of which I can’t remember, so I’m anxiously awaiting a full transcript), something to the effect that that nation’s economy is terrible, ergo their government is obviously terrible?

AngerBoy September 26, 2008 at 11:25 pm

From now on, Obama needs to try saying “I’m glad McCain agrees with me,” rather than “McCain is right”. Makes him seem much more like the alpha dog.

WIDTAP September 26, 2008 at 11:27 pm

[re=112501]ihasasad[/re]: Your absolutely right. However, you also can’t let the opponent define you for the undecideds, which was what McCain was doing for time to time. Two tactics to counted such unwelcome definitions are to define your opponent back (“He won’t talk to Spain”) or to ignore the noise an have an overwhelming message. Barry did not play the overwhelming message card.

102415 September 26, 2008 at 11:27 pm

Well, I’m all caught up with “Dancing with the Stars” so now I can have a drink or two myself. I see McCain’s face did not explode yet so this means Wachovia will be feet to the sky by Tuesday. Koreans are shorter than McCain and Barry is not a Liberal at all except for liking to talk with Spain. I’m voting for the nice well dressed Centrist Hopey, my wallet tells me so.

BaxterJones September 26, 2008 at 11:27 pm

Political nerds can get your hot fresh ringtones here! Show off your support for Obama or your disdain for McCain: http://www.entertonement.com/collections/4273/2008-First-Presidential-Debate

WIDTAP September 26, 2008 at 11:28 pm

[re=112507]AngerBoy[/re]: Win!

S.Luggo September 26, 2008 at 11:29 pm

– McCain, being a cock. “Barack Obama does not have the knowledge or experience to win the Iraq. He has never had the tragic experience of:
1. Bombing froggy-person villages in North Viet Nam and then receiving a less open thanks from the surviving locals,
2. Being married (however briefly in subsequence) to a an uggo, uggo gimp,
3. Choosing Sarah Palin as a running mate.” —
I believe that McSenile has a point, particularly as to … umm … Number 4.

Hooray For Anything September 26, 2008 at 11:29 pm

I think next time McCain should just save everybody a little time by putting up a map of all the places he’s been to so he doesn’t have to rattle them off during every answer. Also, at times he was starting to do a “noun verb Petreaus” thing. I think McCain’s got a man crush on the General

NotthatLC September 26, 2008 at 11:31 pm

I thought Obama was pretty hard-hitting, actually. He really wasn’t letting McCain get away with anything. Sure, he could have thrown a few zingers in there, but he got in a shot about the economy being strong, and he got in a shot about Bomb Bomb Iran, and he got in that shot about McCain voting with Bush 95% of the time, and think the whole entirely freakin’ planet groaned at the end when McCain brought up his time as a POW, again. Some more. Aneurysm. McCain kept saying that Obama didn’t understand, but I’m sorry, Obama seemed like he was understanding pretty damn well. McCain was incredibly condescending without any reason for being so.

slappypaddy September 26, 2008 at 11:32 pm

[re=112501]ihasasad[/re]: roger that.

bago September 26, 2008 at 11:34 pm

The big O should take those “Doesn’t understand” statements and turn them around.

Not understanding would be like mixing up sunni and shia, disagreeing would be having different ideas about what to do with the sunni and shia.

President Beeblebrox September 26, 2008 at 11:36 pm

Nice to see Saul Walnuts! Tigh having an intimate moment with Ellen there at the end of the debate… I’m convinced she is the Fifth Cylon.

DejaVidor September 26, 2008 at 11:37 pm

I think Obama did a great job of looking presidential, knowledgeable, in command.

He did not need to kick his opponent in the nutz. The “angry black man” image will not play with the stoopids and the undecided wafflers.

ihasasad September 26, 2008 at 11:39 pm

I’m off to figure out how I can join the EVIL LEAGUE OF EVIL. I would like to thank John McCain for giving me some ideas that may elevate me to a position of status with the Thoroughbred of Evil, i.e. BAD HORSE. Peace out, but not really

ForeignSickSpecialist September 26, 2008 at 11:41 pm

Me and the kids are checking Barry out in Greensboro tomorrow morning. I hope his hangover isn’t too bad. Biden will be energized. His hair plugs are really spark plugs.

ihasasad September 26, 2008 at 11:42 pm

[re=112522]President Beeblebrox[/re]: *Sigh* I HAZ A HAPPY

ForeignSickSpecialist September 26, 2008 at 11:42 pm

[re=112464]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: She’s the masterdebater. Everyone is Wasilla knows that.

President Beeblebrox September 26, 2008 at 11:45 pm

Overall it was a tie, if not a slight win to Barry. But Barry has to stop treating the campaign like a Supreme Court argument. Cordiality is out… stop “agreeing” with the old nasty fuckwad, dammit!

magic titty September 26, 2008 at 11:49 pm

Anyone who thinks John McCain won this debate played too much ‘debate-time drinking game’.

NotthatLC September 26, 2008 at 11:50 pm

What’s actually hilarious is that up to ten minutes ago, the pundits were all, like, “Obama was agreeing with him too much”and “McCain did a pretty good job” and then two polls with likely voters and/or independents showed up saying that Obama won the debate decisively (CNN’s poll was 52% to 34%) and now they’re all, like, “Wow, Obama did a good job making his points and holding his own and strong and tough”. Yeah, I guess he was, huh? Plus, I think the press is pretty much done with McCain – he’s pulled that “game changer” tactic once too often, without back-up. Look Sarah Palin! She’s a maverick! Well, actually, John she’s a trainwreck with a trainload of baggage who can’t put two sentences together. Wait, Look! I’m suspending my campaign to focus on this economic crisis! Well, ACTUALLY, John, nobody wanted you there, and you seem to have fucked everything up. Oh, and every reporter has pretty much called bullshit on you suspending your campaign…while sending your surrogates out…and continuing to run your attack ads…and showing up on TV every chance you could get.

jokerontheleft September 26, 2008 at 11:51 pm

what i learned:
~wally plays left field, bats fifth and is switch hitter on the inside the senate baseball team.

~somewhere in all the places listed were the real gates of hell, so my fear that he couldnt find them is now gone.

~bracelets are in!

paolaccio September 26, 2008 at 11:52 pm

I drank straight through the debate… no game, just pounding. I thought Obama looked chill and McCain looked like rats were eating his balls. I thought he was going to jump over there and rip Obama’s head off and shit down his neck.

Is… is that why people are saying McCain “won?”

duker155 September 26, 2008 at 11:52 pm

Hey, didn’t any of you guys notice that senile old McCain was channeling his favorite idol from his young adulthood, Woodrow Wilson? Didn’t we try this League of Nations thing after WWI and it helped lead to WWII. Oh, whoops, he called it a League of Democracies. Guess he’s looking for a way to have his own WW.

scarface1950 September 26, 2008 at 11:57 pm

[re=112496]SayItWithWookies[/re]: by ironic you mean snarkily sarcastic?

NotthatLC September 26, 2008 at 11:59 pm

[re=112543]duker155[/re]: Yeah, I noticed that, too, and I was thinking, dude, didn’t we already have something like that? And the League of Democracies would do…what..again?

Cool, now Matthews is giving him hell about never looking at Obama. Awesome.

llyn September 27, 2008 at 12:07 am

[re=112397]SloppyCronkite[/re]: You’ve got it. McCain is after all a descendant of slaveowners, and he was in Mississippi and the Klan was in attendance, though not in costume. He didn’t want to look at Obama, anyway, and he knew it would play well with his fellow racists to not look at Obama.

llyn September 27, 2008 at 12:16 am

[re=112438]nurple[/re]: Nurple, I’ve been away for a while. Help me out, it’s on the tip of my tongue, what your user name used to be. What was it?

Inter-Lipstick-tubes September 27, 2008 at 1:21 am

Frank Luntz is a slobby db – I know from ‘xperience

McCain looked like a corpse. CNN needs to tone down that makeup srsly. okthxbi.

Lascauxcaveman September 27, 2008 at 2:21 am

[re=112507]AngerBoy[/re]: Absolutley perfect. You are hired, baby.

[re=112501]ihasasad[/re]: According to the Audience-O-Meter on CNN you are Co-Rect. Everytime someone (usually MCNuggets) went on the attack or went negative, the all-important independent voter audience approval reaction took a dive. I guess what works for a 527 doesn’t always work for a President.

Lascauxcaveman September 27, 2008 at 2:24 am

[re=112568]llyn[/re]: I recognize that avatar as our old friend “Weazel,” I think.

The Neoskeptic September 27, 2008 at 4:46 am

Just turned on MSNBC and all I see is some map showing viewers in like Madagascar. Hooray! MSNBC is poop. OH AND NOW they have commercials too. Oh crap, T. Boone Pickens. Why do we have to watch him now? WHERE IS CHUCKY TODD. Wants to c his man boobsz.

you obvs meant “Wanna ARE it.”

The Neoskeptic September 27, 2008 at 4:46 am

Why do we have to watch him now? WHERE IS CHUCKY TODD. Wants to c his man boobsz.

you obvs meant “Wanna ARE it.”

The Neoskeptic September 27, 2008 at 4:49 am

[re=112501]ihasasad[/re]: that is the most apt analogy to the UNDECIDEDS i have ever heard: spazy cats.

they also greet each other with head-butts and enjoy licking their own funzones.

lawrenceofthedesert September 27, 2008 at 4:55 am

Obama did not need to put away McCain tonight; there is too much time remaining. He peaked way early against Hillary, and bless their hearts, his crew learned a lesson. He could have imploded by being too harsh with the old boyo, and he needs to be extra-polite and even tempered, because this is America and he is black.

FilthyGorgeous September 27, 2008 at 7:51 am

[re=112385]NoWireHangers[/re]: Honestly does anyone actually ever win these? I was watching BBC and it had two Americans (one Republican/one democrat) and its like neither really listened to the debate they just decided their respective candidate won.

DangerousLiberal September 27, 2008 at 10:54 am

Why do all y’all even watch the post-debate jaw jaw when you know it will just be insane bullshit from senile old turds like Wolf (I sold what’s left of my soul) Blitzer and the usual collection of network bootlicks, toadies, and corporate climbers. I can decide for myself who “won” or “lost” the debate, and y’all can too. The only way y’all can justify watching the post-game show is with copious amounts of liquor consumed, with more close at hand.

nurple September 27, 2008 at 11:25 am

Ilyn, Lascaux: Yes, I once was a weazel. And oncet I built a railroad. I have missed alla y’all, but I didn’t get wifi in Bougainville. Or was it Christmas? Damn arboreal crabs…

vigilante September 27, 2008 at 11:49 am

Stupid Obama doesn’t say our treasury gives our money to the Sunnis not to attack our military.
The surge of pay offs won the war. If we leave Iraq now we can quit squandering the treasury.

Any voter who votes for any Republican or Democrat needs to be arrested for treason.

nurple September 27, 2008 at 12:27 pm

Ironically, I was arrested for shoplifting Ann Coulter’s TREASON.

1ofUS September 27, 2008 at 4:37 pm

Festooned with Christmas tree ornaments…that’s good, right?

Borat September 27, 2008 at 9:20 pm

[re=112347]OhGodNo[/re]: I’d like to see our screenpixxx be Blingee enabled. That would give Walnuts seizures.

I didn’t really mind the pink Choke ads as much as other people, but when I see it on other sites now I lose conciousness for like 15 seconds. Explain.
(And the American Apparel Slim Slacks Girl, man I’d hit that if she were a man…that was good, AA, get your act back together and buy some ad space, those toothless Consititution voter bitterz scare me)

WoundedVeteran September 28, 2008 at 2:50 am

Butt sex 50.00, butt sex with salsa and crushed taco shells 75.00, blowjob, priceless and loving.

zoink September 28, 2008 at 3:31 am

Loved Obama’s bracelet response, McCain looked completely shocked.
O really showed some preparation on that one.

tocute2btrue September 28, 2008 at 4:29 pm

Hey I was on Face the Nation this morning I did pretty well, the only thing that I hate is these Ass Holes keep bringing up the Rogue Nations, I give not a shit what happens over there.
There is to Dam many Jews over here to worry about Israel, who cares if Iran makes a parking lot there?

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