EARLY VOTING IS TREASON! “This nation of lazy slobs would rather spend the next five weeks on a scum-encrusted sofa eating Hot Cheetos and watching pornography on a flat-screen than caring about our country.” [AOL Political Machine]
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Authors
Jim Newell (5418)
Wonkette Jr. (623)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (796)
Kaia Mursi (43)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Liz Colville (94)
Ken Layne (6695)
Blair Burke (170)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 30 comments }
“This nation of lazy slobs would rather spend the next five weeks on a scum-encrusted sofa eating Hot Cheetos and watching pornography on a flat-screen rather than caring about our country.”
Well, DUH… who wouldn’t! Mmmm…. HD Porn…
Aw Ken, you da best. I wouldn’t shit you…your my favorite turd.
Hey, I never considered that. Sounds like a good alternative.
Pity I don’t have a flat screen.
Is that any way to talk about your base here, Ken! Yay! Cheetos and Porn! Tho avoid the “self love” with the Hot Cheetos.
McCain voters know that their candidate has got about a 40% chance of dying of old age before November 5th, so they’re going to vote for him while they still can.
Change “pornography” to “gay pornography” and then you’d be dissing McCain’s early-voters, wouldn’t you?
So, it goes both ways here.
So get this, dude goes into a doctor, and he goes, “Doc, my dick’s orange!” and the doc asks him…
aw fuck it you see where I’m going with this
Hot Cheetos? You got a recipe, Ken? Aren’t they toxic enough at room temperature?
Think I’ll go get a $3 bag right now, and some Mountain Dew to wash ‘em down with.
five weeks? scum-encrusted? hot cheetohs? wass the fantasy this ken-doll’s spinnin out? barbie spice know he’s swingin this way? she got his private line? encrusted cheetoh lips, meet raw-rubbed laska-lips…
Somebody help me count multiples of four. I’m just going to mail in my votes for the next 10 elections and be done with this nonsense.
I love early voting. My early voting polling place is at the L.A. School of the Blind, so I just vote over and over again.
“This nation of lazy slobs would rather spend the next five weeks on a scum-encrusted sofa eating Hot Cheetos and watching pornography on a flat-screen rather than caring about our country.”
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
[re=115627]Cape Clod[/re]: Do we haz to take the leap year into consideration? That would hurt my brain
Wait wait wait why are you dragging Canada into this?!? Um, re election nonsense, I seem to recall that in 2000 Canada had its election AFTER the US and we had our PM the next day, and every last ballot was counted by hand, no hanging chads, no voter fraud.
And, thanks, in Canada they actually sometimes debate real issues. Caribou Barbie would be laughed off the stage.
Hey, I’m going to be in Nevada on election day giving rides to jackasses too lazy or uninterested to go vote without an obscene amount of prodding. Without absentee voting, Hopey would have one less vote in CA – not that he needs it.
Ken: You have a problem with that?
If this sentence is representative of the whole article, then the article has twice as many “rathers” as it needs.
Personally, I want it both ways. I would like everyone, and I mean everyone to vote early, so that I can cruise into my local precinct whenever I want, have my own immediate and personal check-in, and be out in under 30 seconds…so that I can get back to my Cheetos and porn.
[re=115694]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: A woman who wants cheetos and port? Creepy marriage proposals coming in 3….2…
Maybe count
1/33/5 of the vote?fixed.
[re=115708]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Trust me, Bibo’s not the type to settle down. She likes her proposals noncomital, drrrrrrrty, and deregulated. If you catch me.
On topic, they could solve this problem if they had voting adds done by pornstars. Which I don’t think would work, but it would give me someone else to make fun of.
So what exactly is the crux of this douchebag’s complaint?
Seriously, is it in the article? If so, I can’t find it.
That Ken Layne fellow is pretty excitable. I’d recommend a LOT more alcohol in the very near future.
[re=115751]voyetra8[/re]: Whoops!
[re=115741]Strictly for the Tardcore[/re]: Aww, Tardcore. We’ll always have the all-night filibuster.
[re=115708]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Eh, what can I say? Most porn is unintentionally more funny than comedy.
I actually DO care about this county, but only inasmuch as it relates to my steady stream of Hot Cheetos and flat-screen porn.
In Democrat porn, they all hug afterwards.
Throw in some gin, sounds like party!
Throw in some gin, sounds like a party!
[re=115787]Ken Layne[/re]: Ohhhhh. *You’re* the douchebag.
This whole election has gone so god damned loopy that I can’t even spot satire anymore. I just assume that everything I read is some batshit partisan spewing out more jibberish.
A thousand pardons.
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