Here’s your favorite unstable old man right where he wants to be, atop a pile of headlines predicting a pretty solid 6%+ Obama win in the popular vote, plus an extra thousand electoral votes. [Politics Home]
Does McCain Know Something We Don’t?
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AHHH! Election EVE! We’re down to hours! Cannot work! Must refresh refresh refreshhhhhhhh!!!1! dfkl;j;lda gow;akcxv;al vnmsGGGGGGGGGGGaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhla kjfo/ON;olksz,.x…………..
McCain has 5 1/2 years of memories that the rest of us will never know… or could ever know… or would ever want to know… and no, while it’s true that the Vietcong prison guards were totally gay for their prisoners, they never gayed McCain.
Best of: McCain/Palin’s Awful Supporters.
His crazy ass confidence scares me more than anything. It recalls Bush’s ominous statement before the 2000 Election when he said ‘we will win Florida. I guarantee you, we will win Florida’. He followed that one with a most sinister and knowing laugh.
What I’m saying is, BE VERY AFRAID.
The polls have gone rogue.
“This ship is unsinkable.” ~ Edward Joh Smith, captain of RMS Titanic
Bring marshmallows!~
mccain knows that everyone can say they’ll vote for the negro, but when the time comes to actually pull thaty lever…come on!
Sorry guys…. !!! I fuk’d up : See the report: http://storefrontwindows.blogspot.com/
All your electoral votes are belong to us.
4:32 pm Blue Plate Special
4:11:26 pm McCain corrects: The electoral college is like golf. The one with the fewest votes wins.
4:11:04 pm McCain sez: My fellow losers, I meant we will lose to Obama.
4:11 pm McCain Tells Supporters that Obama will beat him.
3:01 pm McCain’s daily “Hate” debriefing with Cindy involving gas mask and bottle of Helium.
12:52 pm McCain nap time
11:43 am Nancy Ploppenshitz brings the Depends
11:41 am McCain “I did the Icky…”
10:43 am McCain Spokesdumbass 125.0 is hired
10:42 am McCain Spokesdumbass 124.0 sez something stupid
10:12 am McCain “Where’s my applesauce?”
The OCTOBER SURPRISE is that the October surprise is in November. Also, the surprise is that the election is rigged.
Hey am I the only election-centric person with this song stuck in my head? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuffHRacZMQ
Not quite George Costanza humming “master of the house” repeatedly, but similar.
He has to make it convincing when he steals Pennsylvania. Of course, even if he does, he’ll still need to win Virginia, Colorado, and Nevada legitimately. (Good luck with that)
I desperately hope that after Obama wins handily tomorrow, Grumpus embarks on a 50-state Victory Tour where he pretends he didn’t lose at all. And everybody will show up and cheer just because it’d be too sad to tell him the truth.
All hail imaginary president Walnuts.
[re=160674]Palin-Plumber2012[/re]: You have to watch the Obama version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3ijYVyhnn0
He just wants to make sure that expansive victory party he has planned is well-attended.
I hope Sarah Palin will be at McCain’s side when he gives his concession speech. I want to see him call her a miserable bitch who ruined his whole life and sock her one right in the snoot.
[re=160661]magic titty[/re]: and get everyone you know to get their asses to the polls and be prepared to wait and not give up when there is a long line.
[re=160658]NoWireHangers[/re]: that’s the sound of me, too!
pollster, 538, etc ETC. I’m reading Nate’s crazy statistics calculus and vector histograms and looking for the keywords: democrats, win,landslide,ETC ETC ETC ETCETEADFAdfasdfjkas;djf;asdklfj AAGGGGGGFGFHHGHGHGHGHFGHGGRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!
mccain-palin by FIVE AND A HALF POINTS
right where we want ‘em
Greatest thing given to us from McCain Palin…”Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?”
[re=160684]WadISay[/re]: And thus begins the planned Rehabilitation of John McCain.
[re=160684]WadISay[/re]: Win!
[re=160688]Doglessliberal[/re]: The only person I know in a swing state is in Virginia and will probably vote for McCain. I’m thinking of taking a page from the GOP playbook and reminding her she has to vote on Wednesday.
Diebold! Baby! Diebold!
Walnuts is the President of Alzheimers?
[re=160661]magic titty[/re]:
I am very afraid. Something does seem amiss every time he flashes that pedosmile and adamantly states: No, my fellow prisoners, I am the underdog. This is right where I want to be.
Should the first sign of Armageddon rear one of its seven heads … I can haz a recount?
It ain’t over until they detach the electrical shock node from Walnuts’ taint. If you see him dangling wires through his pant legs, you know someone on his staff has said, “Screw it, I ain’t lifting up his sac another day for a loser.”
I really need to get off the internet for the next 48 hours. But I know I won’t.
For all you polltards, Quinniapiac just released Hopey up 10 in PA, which will fry Rick Davis’ nads even more. As long as Bull Connor don’t beat the blacks in line, it’s over.
http://www.bizjournals.com/pittsburgh/stories/2008/11/03/daily2.html
he has the scarz to prove it
Don’t forget the 3% margin of error. After you account for the 3% margin of error, then you’re within the 3% margin of error, which probably has its own 3% margin of margin. So McCain is actually winning by 12 points!
[re=160697]medievalist[/re]: tell her the polls close at 8, so she has plenty of time, just needs to be in line by 8. Heh
[re=160697]medievalist[/re]: Why not vote early yourself and then spend Election Day giving her something better to do?
[re=160690]HuskyMescan[/re]: I twitching in my chair. I’m holding in teh wonk crazee by thismuch. My boss is a crazy Republican and he must not catch on that I’m deep in the tank. My snorkel is filled with hope. So crazy today. alfk djlahaeo;lja;lKz;cm v.;a olfkam;…vfcs!
Hahah… you silly people thinking that votes are going to decide this election. I’ve already seen the results, and McCain wins the popular vote by 0.5% and gets 274 electoral votes. It’s a great day for Democracy!
[re=160663]Darehead[/re]: ?They’de definitely in the tank.
http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2008/11/what-mccain-win-looks-like.html
more stuff to keep you from work.
This is bad. I need this over, now
Joe Biden is crazy. He is in a rally in MO babbling about “girl girls” (girls with many sisters) and “girl boys” (girls with brothers) in front of Clair McCaskel who said: He sometimes says kind of dumb things. Boy did he prove her point. But he is still charming.
What do you expect Walnuts to say? He can’t admit he may lose Virginia to Black Candidate, so he has to walk out and say he’s going to kick some dark skinned ass.
[re=160697]medievalist[/re]: Just about everyone I know in my little city of blue Virginia will be busy cancelling that vote. Northern and central Virginia will break for Hopey. It’s the military coastal Newport News and southwestern parts of the State which will be trouble. Just comes down to who has more people willing to wait in ridiculous lines to cast their votes.
All you newly registered VA dems had better stay the hell in line! Heck, all you old ones, too. Or drag your butts out of bed really stupid early to avoid the lines entirely. That’s what I’m going to try to do. I can sleep when this thing is over.
[re=160661]magic titty[/re]: McCain has less options – Bush needed to steal one state, McCain has to steal at least 3. Not this time.
[re=160720]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: agreed. Newly registered people better damn well follow through or they get their registration revoked. That’s what they should have been told. Heehee.
Hahahaha, the conservative douche Fred Barnes is the only pundit reported on HuffPo to pick Walnuts:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/02/election-predictions-pund_n_140149.html
If Murdoch really believed in paying someone for actually doing work and holding them accountable, Barnes would be have to get the job of prying Lieberman’s lips off Walnuts’ ass and help him try to affix said lips to Schumer’s.
[re=160714]grendel[/re]: Don’t fuck with me, dear friend.
John McCain is President of Wet Dreams
You guys missed the craziest link in that screen shot. The story about a businessman trying to “save the Republic” is loser who insists William Ayers ghostwrote Obama’s autobiography!
http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_10882415
Which means, of course, that William Ayers is the secret communist son of Malcolm X. Thank God we’re clear on that that now.
[re=160724]Doglessliberal[/re]: At least Starbucks is tempting them with elitist coffee, for voting. So there’s that incentive to staying in line (since obviously, participating in the Democratic process won’t be enough for the kids who only registered because the Obama street team member he or she talked to when registering was hot).
Girly Girl definitely in the tank for McCain. Goon on the Moon hasn’t endorsed yet.
[re=160730]Hostile Michigander[/re]: THE TRUTH PREVAILS WILLIAM AYERS FATHERED NOOBAMA’S BABIES ALIENS ARE IN OUR DRINKING WATER LARGE PILES OF FECES HAVE BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO DEATH-BOTS WHO ARE OUT TO KILL US ALL DICK CHENEY IS REALLY HUMAN HILLARY CLINTON IS ACTUALLY JOHN MCCAIN BUDWEISER CAUSED WORLD WAR TWO THE COMMUNISTS RUN THE STATE OF NORTH DAKOTA OBAMA WANTS TO KILL US ALL ARABS ARE TAKING OVER MEXICO CANADA IS HELPING THEM BARBRA STREISAND SUCKS.
Surf’ Up!!!!!!!
Let’s make this a goddam Tsunami!!!!!!!
Un-Ass yer La-Z-Boy & get down there and pull the trigger!
If you’ve got voting age kids get their slacker asses outa the bag and drag ‘em with you.
Same if your neighbor has V-A kids. Tell ‘em they get free Primo Columbian at McD’s if they vote.
If you get any shit at the Poll Place..take pix..shoot tape..call 1-866-OUR-VOTE on your celly.
It’s very simple, really. We’ve been anally assualted for over 8 years. My ass is tired.
Vote the bastards out! Vote in some fresh bastards!
DO IT!!!!!! DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!! (Ahnald)
(60 y.o. Viet vet)
(Sitting on the front porch ala “Second Hand Lions”)
#2 – Mavericks – Wild Card
The Top 50 Swing Voters
#50 – Hockey Moms – Demographic Power Play
#40 – Anonymous Sperm Donors – Swimming Against The Tide
#34 – Flip Floppers – Back Flip
#13 – Ostensibly Impartial, Quasi-Journalist TV Personalities
#3 – Obese People – On A Roll
#1 Swing Voter revealed today
http://swingvoters.wordpress.com
Sorry to go off thread but I’m about to start drinking so before I get mean I’m going to say post something really sappy. I took a tour of the White House last year and I couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful it would be to see Hopey’s girls running around raising hell in there. Seeing their pictures with Springsteen on HuffPo just made me think of that again.
I’m jonzin’ for a Walnuts upset. Is that wrong?
[re=160743]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Wait one minute. Satire is well and good, but Barbra Streisand sucks? Sir, you have gone too far!
[re=160713]NoWireHangers[/re]: I’m living in fear and anxiety as well. My office mate is a conservatard Mormon. He doesn’t know im in the tank either. But he’s so rightwing, he’s not voting because he thinks McCain is too liberal. My stories about Larry the Mormon deserve their own blogsite.
[re=160747]Giant Robot[/re]: The notion of Obama’s children frolicking in the White House probably makes the fundies foam at the mouth. This is reason enough to vote for him.
It’s all safely in the hands of Joe the Bomber now.
[re=160750]HuskyMescan[/re]: Always good to know at least one Mormon. After the riots you can go to Larry’s house, kick his ass, and steal his Mormon food stockpile.
Depends: Does he know why picking Palin seemed like a good idea? If he does, then he knows something I don’t.
A guy I worked with for many years has blown off his Jehovah’s Witness affiliations, because he thinks it’s important to vote this time — for Obama! (Jovies are not supposed to vote.) This is the same guy who had to get his swastika tattoo re-tattoed over, to conceal it. The world is going crazy, folks.
[re=160750]HuskyMescan[/re]: At least you’ll get to see Larry cry Wednesday morning. That’s gotta be worth all the shit you put up with. I have a Ned Flanders type in the office next to me. He doesn’t talk politics, thank god.
Not to worry. Osama the Laden will take care of electing ol’ Johnny Mac.
I’m with magic titty. That kinda surety makes me nerrrvous.
You know in those old movies when The Bad Guy, has just offed his rival? After doing the deed, dumps the coat,gloves and candlestick, pushes the budy over the bridge, rushes home to change into his Tux just in time to make the Big Party.
Bad Guy’s troubles are finally over,now he can really unwind. Yeah, Bad Guy is the life of the party tonight;suave, smug and maybe a little too merry. As he grabs yet another champagne from a passing tray, he laments that it’s such a swell party – what a shame Ol’ Frank couldn’t make it tonight!
“Couldn’t make it – why, Frank’s right over there!” , sez pal,pointing over bad Guy’s shoulder.
“Th-that’s IMPOSSIBLE!” cries Bad Guy, knowing that he had taken care of Frank with his own two hands.
….
Then Poppy makes Jebbie get up from dinner and get on the horn with Katherine…
[re=160787]Kingbee[/re]: My elderly Southern granddad, who’s slightly to the right, politically, of Kaiser Wilhelm, says he’s voting for Obama. Not, he states, because he likes Obama, but because, as he put it, “That McCain’s as crazy as a rat in a tin can…”
[re=160810]NoWireHangers[/re]: Hahaha…Larry just told me he’s not coming in on Wednesday because the Obama is going to win. I paused and said, “well,……romney 2012??” . He didn’t say anything and left.
McCain knows, deep down in his heart, that all polling and statistics is a liberal conspiracy to befuddle the masses. He knows that the real America who doesn’t read or realize it isn’t the 1950′s rural south, will carry him to victory. He knows.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
McCain thinks cocky confidence will move people to the polls for him? He needs a lot more than that to have a shot. First he needs to promise to let Sarah Palin go if he’s elected. Then he should totally score some mileage out of Steven Tyler’s endorsement…
Taking a cue from his SNL appearance, McCain’s stump speech for the day is:
“Giraffe…Giraffe … Giraffe … GIRAFFE …GIRAFFE …”
[re=160878]Gingah[/re]: I love your grandpa (assuming he does vote for Hopey). What state?
Well, I suppose if you must be delusional you might as well play it to the hilt. WALNUTS! should declare himself Napoleon or someone.
[re=161033]Doglessliberal[/re]: Florida – and Granddad is from the *Old*, pre-Disney Florida…
[re=161072]Gingah[/re]: go Grandpa! Bring home FL for the Hopester!
False teeth speak false truths, Ken.
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