• February 13, 2012

JOE THE PLUMBER CRIME SPREE PROVEN TRUE: That thing we posted about pin-eyed skinhead Samuel “Joe the Plumber” Wurzelbacher doing election and speeding crimes? The speeding part has been confirmed, by the Toledo Police [Toledo Blade]

{ 44 comments }

NoWireHangers November 4, 2008 at 4:04 pm

Yes, but have they confirmed that he’s an asshole?

BobLoblawLawBlog November 4, 2008 at 4:04 pm

Have a heart, Ken. Leave Britney alone.

Blue Line November 4, 2008 at 4:05 pm

But don’t they KNOW WHO HE IS?!?!

heronimule November 4, 2008 at 4:07 pm

Where will I get my daily dose of unvetted, provincial turds when Mccain loses? Oh wait, I live in North Florida. I’ll just swing a goddamn cat (it’s an expression hippies).

skyinator November 4, 2008 at 4:07 pm

Joe, your fifteen minutes of fame are almost up.

heronimule November 4, 2008 at 4:08 pm

I’d like to see Mel Gibson and Joe the Plumber go on a drinking binge/road trip together. They would be unstoppable!

ella November 4, 2008 at 4:09 pm

“”This unit gave warning because of ongoing investigation of the Toledo Police Department involving Mr. Wurzelbacher and felt issuing a citation could have negative repercussions to the department and the city as a whole,” the officer wrote.”

And that’s all I need to know about Toledo.

hedgehog November 4, 2008 at 4:10 pm

Then Joe ate sushi and didn’t pay.

norbizness November 4, 2008 at 4:10 pm

If he’s forced to pay this ticket, Israel could cease to exist. Of course, he already sold his golden locks to pay for a bag of magic beans.

Alex Trebeks Girl November 4, 2008 at 4:12 pm

I’d just like to say that I’m Joe the Plumber. We’re all Joe the Plumber. We should all demand no speeding tickets, handouts for our taxes and most of all contracts to record music we suck at.

TGY November 4, 2008 at 4:13 pm

From Joe the Plumber to Joe the Bummer.

hockeymom November 4, 2008 at 4:13 pm

Remember that one thing I said about carving a backwards J into my head if this was true?
Ya, I had my fingers crossed, also.

FreshCliches November 4, 2008 at 4:13 pm

[re=163916]heronimule[/re]: Throw in an Osbourne, and you’ve got yourself a teevee producer contract.

sarahconnor November 4, 2008 at 4:14 pm

I bet they’ll discover in addition to being a no account asshole that he’s a nose whistler as well.

norbizness November 4, 2008 at 4:14 pm

[re=163923]hedgehog[/re]:

Joe the Plumber: The lights are growing dim. I know a life of crime led me to this sorry fate… And yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am.

John McCain: Bullshit! You’re a whitebread reactionary assclown, just like me!

Joe the Plumber [gasping for breath]: But it still hurts!

greatgooglymoogly November 4, 2008 at 4:14 pm

I just wish that this critical information could have been released in time to affect the outcome of this important election. *sob*

Texan Bulldoggette November 4, 2008 at 4:15 pm

Joe’s been hanging out with Bible Spice too much. He seems to think the rules & laws don’t apply to him, either. They’re like the Wonder Twins. Activate–douchebagness.

Styrofoam Boots November 4, 2008 at 4:15 pm

Implosion in 5, 4….

Varchar November 4, 2008 at 4:15 pm

Is there anyone associated with that campaign that ISN’T on the run from the law!?

Itsjustme November 4, 2008 at 4:17 pm

[re=163903]NoWireHangers[/re]: No need, it is a known fact.

queeraselvis v 2.0 November 4, 2008 at 4:18 pm

Every single picture just reinforces the fact that “Joe” is indeed a total douche.

Fly-over Correspondent November 4, 2008 at 4:19 pm

Notice how the paper put “Joe” in quotes?

FindFuckandFlee November 4, 2008 at 4:23 pm

“pin-eyed skinhead Samuel “Joe the Plumber” Wurzelbacher”

Stunned by the number of times I was able to re-read this and still get little pee spots on my pants from laughing so hard. What is it about this particular arrangement of words?

The Station Manager November 4, 2008 at 4:23 pm

God damn it Layne, that picture choice made me laugh way to loud.

Kwame' November 4, 2008 at 4:24 pm

He may be the next Bald “Man of the Year”:
http://www.baldrus.com/manofyear.htm

ky-jellydonuts November 4, 2008 at 4:25 pm

If Hopey’s got leftover moneys, can we get Toledo’s PD some tasers? I get the feeling this guy’s going to be like Rodney King post-riot.

Hopey dont play that game November 4, 2008 at 4:27 pm

Joe the Plumber = adult Milhouse Van Houten

freeradical November 4, 2008 at 4:28 pm

hedge hog: REPO MAN reference! My fav movie!! Sometimes people just explode…

slappypaddy November 4, 2008 at 4:28 pm

Say it ain’t so, Joe.

friendlynerd November 4, 2008 at 4:30 pm

I’m amazed – AMAZED – that most of the comments on The Blade have said he should have gotten the ticket.

friendlynerd November 4, 2008 at 4:33 pm

Palin/Wurzelbacher 2012! They’re similarly qualified at least.

PrairiePossum November 4, 2008 at 4:34 pm

Joe may have to get an actual plumbing job to pay his speeding ticket and his increased insurance premium. Sucks to be a “real American” doesn’t it, Joe?

HuskyMescan November 4, 2008 at 4:38 pm

Walnuts! couldn’t have picked a less likable douche bag to be the last act in the tragedy that is the McCain presidential campaign.

Some say he slipped up and called him “Joe the Bomber”. I think McCain said “Joe the Bomb” , as in this political tactic fuckin’ bombed.

sarahconnor November 4, 2008 at 4:41 pm

[re=164008]slappypaddy[/re]: a mighty win

sarahconnor November 4, 2008 at 4:42 pm

[re=164025]friendlynerd[/re]: don’t go there! seriuzly!

Theta November 4, 2008 at 4:47 pm

I can’t wait for Joe the Plumber to be caught with either an underage girl or a man.

You know it’s coming. VIVA BLOWVEMBER!

paulywog November 4, 2008 at 4:48 pm

This guy is like an unflushed turd. He won’t go away. I think the media needs a plumber!

ManchuCandidate November 4, 2008 at 4:51 pm

The first single Joe releases should be: “I Fought the Law and the Law Won.”

swarm of bees November 4, 2008 at 4:52 pm

[re=164004]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: I LOL’ed!!

tonehedge November 4, 2008 at 4:54 pm

Samuel Wurzelbacher: “I feel like shit.”
John McCain: “Joe your a terrible cunt.”

bearbait November 4, 2008 at 5:14 pm

It worries me that the comments seem to come from other-than-wingnuts types, but still have the all caps and lousy spelling one would expect from freepers! Are the rats abandoning their sinking ship and climbing onto ours? Please…no.

Reefpilot November 4, 2008 at 5:27 pm

[re=163916]heronimule[/re]:

I’d pay box office price for that one.

Reefpilot November 4, 2008 at 5:31 pm

[re=164127]bearbait[/re]:

Oh, yes. They saw the children’s gallery of “love” for the terrorist socialist president’elect’s granny. I gave them the passcode and photocopied instructions on how to get in. I also told them a few hard-hitting words to use, along with giving them prescriptions to increase their verbiage.

All I asked for in return was a few young women who were not that imbred looking. I only got postcard cutouts of malkin, and that was from more of the moderate group.

Oh well. Enjoy em.

getoffmylawn November 4, 2008 at 7:41 pm

Watergate and Joe have given plumbers a bum rap. Let’s agree now, in 2012, it’s all about Eric the Electrician!

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