What does Benson think of all of this?

*sob*

freedom

Let’s hope he gets invited to lunch soon after the inauguration. I read somewhere that the widow Robinson will be living in the White House to help with the children. Maybe she can see that dessert is served.

Damn, got me at the end. A good way to end a great week, though.

I smell an upcoming heartwarming made-for-tv movie on the life of Eugene Allen as the Magical Negro of the White House, redeeming all of the powerful rich white characters he encounters…

I read this at work this morning and cried like a little girl. I think I exceed the lifetime amount of times one is allowed to cry on the job this week.

Jesus Christ. This will be the second pair of contacts I’ve ruined this week. Lord.

Thanks a lot.

Jesus H. Christmas, I thought the struggle was over.

Damn, I’m still at work out kere in Kalifornia… There’s no crying at work, is there?

Ufff. I audibly said “OH!” in a sad voice right at the end there, and someone in my office said “you ok?”. Yow that is rough.

Black, white or Alaskan, ain’t that how it should end?

The wife going first.

Nunc dimittis…

i kept visualizing Morgan Freeman

I’m confused…
Barry worked as the pantry man in 1962 and worked his way to President?

This truly is the land of opportunity.

fuck. this. shit. makeup everywhere. BAH!

I’m not crying, it’s just been raining on my face.

@shortsshortsshorts

that one deserves the comment-of-the-week award

Of course they cut out the part where he tea-bagged Reagan’s cup-a-joe every morning at sun rise.

Wait… Jim… Did anyone check to see if she had a backwards ‘B’ carved in her face? And where, exactly, was Obama Monday morning hmmm?

Shit, didn’t see that coming. I have cried enough tears this week to last a lifetime.

That sucks. Voter fraud! Bush told him the election was this Tuesday.

Damn it, I was almost through the entire article, thinking, this is a nice piece, but I’m not so sentimental – and then it got me at the end. Thud.

damn you wonkette.

to 2 who didn’t live to see this moment:
Helene Allen & Madelyn Dunham

Haygood really sucks. Way to end an article.

tears all over the keyboard. sweet jesus. did i just read WaPo or Reader’s Digest?

[re=171335]dcmgurette[/re]: Damn you. I was fine, somewhat saddened but fine, until that…..and I’m an agnostic.

Odd how latin can turn me into a protagonist in a C&W song.

Odd how I evidently have Parkinson’s while operating a mouse, as well.

Mea culpa.

What is wrong with CT? Lindsey Graham and Joe Lieberman are free to have unsafe gay-marriage monkey love but those Yale philosophy majors can’t buy a thrill

http://tech.yahoo.com/news/ap/20081106/ap_on_hi_te/tec_craigslist_prostitution

[re=171404]hobgoblin of little minds[/re]:

Let Blumenthal come and try. We’ll cling to our guns and designer clothing.

[re=171355]wheelie[/re]: OK. Now you got me, I (laughed ’til I) cried!

Buckets of sloppy makeup, streaming down my face. Which is a odd, since I’m a guy and have never worn makeup.

Has anyone else noticed that since election day, the news has gotten nicer, there are more endering and sweet commercials…it’s like the whole world is smoking a fat blunt…What has HOPE done to us…

*weeps*

A decent, hard working American that wanted someting a little better for his family.

I get a little wrapped up in all the nonsense: People like SP, Bush, and Walnuts (not to mention 15-20 other ancillary players) are just so easy to hate that I forget what is really so important.

Eugene’s circumstances of working in the White House are unique, but his basic story isn’t. There are tens of millions of salt-of-the-earth people like Gene that are in trouble. Eight years of lies. Eight years of thievery. Eight years of hopelessness. Eight years of failure.

For the past eight years they’ve been holding their breath, waiting for somebody who actually gives a damn.

Their time is now.

God bless you Gene.

[re=171412]WhenTheMessiahComes…[/re]: It was like that after 9/11, too. I went to Manhattan later that September and there was a gigantic “Thank you for visiting New York” sign in the lobby, the bellhops treated me like GOLD, and when someone bumped you in the street they would stop, look you in the eye, and say, “I’m so sorry.” It won’t last. But it’s nice while it does.

No snark about Mr. and Mrs. Eugene. You got me there.

Yup. Cried some more. Curse you. Thanks.

Thanks Jim

[re=171317]OffTheRecord[/re]: I have another one for you – that has a unicorn in it

http://savingargus.blogspot.com/2008/11/last-one-out-of-hell.html

Yep.

I cried…

You cocksuckers.

Okay, that was just MEAN! *sob*

they;re going to be giving Wil Haygood a Pulitser for this one.

I read this earlier on Friday, and printed it. It’s something I want to keep.

Maybe we seem cynical here (because we are), but that doesn’t mean we cannot recognize a brilliant story. I’m so glad Wonkette linked this up, because it should be required reading for everyone.

I met and had dinner with Mrs. Fred Morrow about ten or so years ago while riding a train out to Chicago. She was a truly elegant gracious lovely person who sat politely with a couple of dumb as shoes nobodies and answered every stupid question we asked and we asked some stupid questions having no knowledge of her or her history. She was the tops.

[re=171478]102415[/re]: What did you ask? I’d love to know more.

Damn you, Newell! I’m crying now. Well, you probably cried too.

Dammit! I was bushwhacked w/ this story last night, just before going out on a date. Got all sniffly then and NOW again this morning. Thanks, guys – thanks *loads*…

HOPE, etc.

Rahm Israel Emanuel officially accepted his appointment by Obama as Chief of Staff on November 6 2008. The Israeli press & media were beside themselves with applause and cheers.
Rahm Emanuel is a former investment banker who made millions on Wall Street. Emanuel’s sponsor is the Zionist , Bruce Wasserstein, who is now the head of Lazard Banking.
Rahm Israel Emanuel is the son of an Israeli physician who was a gun runner for the Irgun, an Israeli terrorist group that murdered Arab civilians in Palestine between 1931 and 1948. Upon his son’s appointment as Obama’s Chief of Staff, Dr. Benjamin Emanuel (”Auerbach” was his original surname) had some choice slanderous words for the Arabs:

In an interview with Ma’ariv: “Obviously he will influence the president to be pro-Israel,” he was quoted as saying. “Why wouldn’t he be? What is he, an Arab? He’s not going to clean the floors of the White House.”
The Ma’ariv article also quoted Dr. Emanuel as saying that his son spends most summers visiting in Tel Aviv, and that he speaks Hebrew, but not fluently
more:
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull&cid=1225910047157

Emanuel, Clinton & Mossad:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=emanuel%2C+clinton%2Cmossad

Hey, look, the anti-Semitic crazies are commenting.

That was just the antidote I needed for the rare bout of actual human emotions I felt after reading that article.

Sleep tight, Helene.

Thanks for the sobering story, half a week was enough celebration. Back to reality.

[re=171530]DoctorCulturae[/re]: People really do seem friendlier!

Tuesday afternoon my white ass couldn’t even get service in Gamestop . Wednesday morning all the racial tension everywhere around here was gone and replaced by some bizarre strain of human decency and politeness. Remarkably it has stayed that way, and this is in Hyattsville of all places.

It’s like everyone got an enema of Hope Tuesday night. I’m still a bit cynical about all this Hopey stuff, but I could get used to living in a country where everyone else isn’t. *tear*

Sad indded. Definitely had to go to the staff lounge and have a little cry here away from the desk.

Also, sad that there’s no more weekend Wonkette. W M B.

Did you guys know that the city of Boston voted 75.2% for Obama? We’re super hopey around here. It’s not as Hopey in the suburbs, though.

V572625694: This doesn’t seem like news to you, but Sarah Palin make-up and clothing (or lack there-of in the towel incident) does? Is it only “news” if the people are famous? Then I guess you think the National Enquirer is a hallmark of journalistic excellence.

See it’s news because a black man who was only allowed into the White House to serve white folks will now witness a black man walking into the White House as President of the U.S. Get it? If that’s not newsworthy, I’d hate to read what you think is newsworthy? “While shooting moose, Sarah Palin breaks strap on Manolos purchased by the RNC and shoots Todd in the ass”

This story made me respect Nancy Reagan who had always seemed like the scariest white woman alive.

[re=171554]the invisible woman[/re]: Oh, my, invisible woman has a screechy voice.

I would also like an address to send a card to the good gentleman, if possible.

Thanks Jim. I am sure my children think I’m having a complete breakdown due to bouts of open weeping this week. You get full custody when the men in white jackets come to take me away….

You people are very easily emotional. Just sayin’.

[re=171570]umlaut75[/re]: Any time you’re afraid of a maudlin suckerpunch ending in a story you should keep a list of Barry’s puns on hand as an antidote. Ask Nancy Reagan. She said Miss Cleo has predicted four years of yuks from The Mutt.

I, for one, am not buying the Nancy Reagan part.

jesus christ i am weeping

[re=171580]DustBowlBlues[/re]: mind if Sarah doesn’t know Africa is a continent, A lie fabricated by left wingers. Truth is her interview was “parsed” That means some witless wonder cut and pasted specific passages together to make her look foolish. At least she doesnt believe in 57 states (the number of islamic states) that Obama does. You dont hear bout that do ya bunkie?

this is TRAGEDY for the USA people!

we need to impeach this secret MUSLIN who is going to distroy this once grate nation!

Nobody gave Bush a fair chance..He has been subject to leftwing attacks since day one and been called every name in the book and completely disrespected..He has been blamed for the financial meltdown which was created by the democrats desire to give people who couldnt afford it mortgages..So dont sit there and tell me you gave Bush a fair chance. Yes he made mistakes…but he has been shown zero respect from anyone on the left and now we shall return the favor..Obama’s every move will be scrutinized and criticized and with just cause…I will support Obama when and if he releases every peace of information he has hidden from the American people and proves to me he isnt the fraud and rasical I believe him to be. Until then he will get no respect or support from me…

Ouch! Did not see that coming. Sniff.

[re=171585]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: 2 words for you SPEEL CHEKKER

(see what i did there?)

[re=171585]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: You fucking shit-sack. You say Bush didn’t “have a fair chance” even though Barry isn’t even in office yet and you want to “impeach him.” We’re you born out of your mother’s ass?

Jury yes…..
YES. Yes you were. Go back there.

And what the fuck is a “rasical?” Is that Muslim or something? ARE YOU A FUCKING MUSLIM?

[re=171575]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: Here’s a site you should check out:
http://alaskamigration.blogspot.com/

This web site is for:

“The purpose of the Alaska migration blog is to encourage White Nationalist Americans, Canadians, and others from around the world to migrate to Alaska in large numbers, become the predominant group, and secede from the United States. We believe that we can only secure an existence for our people and a future for white children by forming our own nation in the northern world.”

And don’t let the door hit you in the, well, you know.

i like the way the trolls troll here, like this is the srus place for a srus discussion of trivial things like facks. bring on teh snark, but keep you facks to yerself. bush is a doosh, no amount of turd polish is going to change that fact. as for hopey being a mooslim terr’ist negroid secksy con man, meh, i care none. im not here to get news or get into a srus discussion about anything unless it involves a clit you can see from space. jesus is love why dont you find a site where your own kind flourish someplace where bill orally is king and the bitter tears flow like a river from the dashed hopes of hundreds, no thousands of dooshy wingnut trolls. you dont belong here and we will not tolerate you trying to polluter our snark with your drivel. TWAT

[re=171595]Weeping Jesus[/re]: Correct. Joey B always has a smile on his face.

Bear-bear needs to invite all the cute over-80 black people who make us cry to the White House as soon as he can, before more of them die.

[re=171585]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: I seem to remember very clearly that after planes flew into two buildings two blocks from where my wife was working that I was fully willing to support George Bush. He then proceeded to exploit my trust as well as millions of others to forward his neo-con agenda.

Just stop it. You backed a bad dude.

Just wait, Obama will invite Eugene to The White House and Biden will ask him how is wife is doing.

wahhhh ……… I want my weekend wonkette!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[re=171596]monty[/re]: Rite fukkin’ on about that doochbag.

Wait, I think that moron might be the guy who lives up the road and has the Confederate flag at full mast behind his okie-dokie bait shop.

Never mind, dude. Chill.

don’t see what George Bush has done wrong, he’s destroying a bunch of people who shouldn’t be in the 1st place. I say the Iraqis are just here to take up space on this planet. They’re not doing anything to benifit us. George Bush is doing a great job where he is. I hope he sends a nuke to Iraq and just wipe that country out of the map. The only thing the Iraqis know how to do is terrorize countries, they’re all terrorists.Ok, I’m going to say it, I think George Bush is good. He’s one of the greatest president ever.. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! he attack Iraq and many Iraqis died.. so what? I hope he bombs Iraq again, I seriously don’t give a crap if the Iraqis die, I hope bush kills them all, bomb the hell out of Iraq. serioulsy I think the Iraqis are nothing but terrorist and George Bush is doing the world a favour by bombing them and killing them. they just like to bomb the hell out of each other, so the Americans attacking Iraq doesn’t really make that much of a difference, they’re just speeding up the process. So I solute George Bush

I suggest we take up a fund to move JESUS IS LOVE to Alaska.

I’m sorry folks, but the tears in your eyes evidently have blinded you to this HUGE wink from Monsieur “Jesus Is Love”:

“we need to impeach this secret MUSLIN who is going to distroy this once grate nation!”

If there really was any doubt this is satire..

My theory: it’s actually one of the editors testing us for satire- and snark-impairedness. Thinning out the herd as it were..

[re=171634]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: Ok. You’re either Tony the Tiger or Jim. I haven’t decided which.

Jesus told me personally that he loves all his children every one even in Iraq. He loves the whole world!He is so sad for the ones a certain someones murdered in Iraq and a certain other one is saying should get hurted or dead.He is crying yes even weeping because a certain someone here in these comments is wrecking his beautiful creation and using his name to do it.How many of the Ten Commandments did a certain someone knowingly break in that last shit of bitterness and sin? I’m counting six but I think two more might be very possible.I don’t know if adultery is an option for you. Tomorrow is Sunday go to a normal type church and ask God to have love and hopeyness fill your heart and drive out the demons. Beat them into plowshares, share the fish and bread,be reminded that the Good Samaritan was in fact an Iraqi who saved the life of a dickheaded troll.Join us! I am definitely going to order the fish tonight and pray for your soul. You’re welcome!
All my toothless, gun loving, redneck, trailer park pals from PA who are still forwarding me religious emails and lol cats went and voted for Hopey. They sent me pictures of their big fund raising party.I guess they just got tired of the crap and lies.
I feel all blingee now. I’m going to try that blingee thing on my cheese picture later tonight.Ciao!

[re=171634]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: Their plan has come to maturity and we see the results. Too many of our young people see nothing wrong with Communism, Socialism, and (Heaven help us) Marxism!!!

Thanks, JESUS IS LOVE! You have brought Hope to my avatar! For we, as social-Marxian-liberal-communists have long molded the mind of the youth with our false prophet professors. Next, we shall reanimate the corpse of Lenin! He, together with Barry O and Muslim Jesus, will then conquer the world and install the Soviet Caliphate with Karl Marx/Muhammad (same guy, doncha know?) at its head.

Just read The Communist Manifesto and its second edition The Audacity of Hope; it’s all right there…

[re=171631]SgtTard[/re]: OMG, I think you are right. Now he’s talking about eating up or out Sarah Palin. I’m going to have to pray twice for his soul and the sins are up to eight.Not Jim though, he wouldn’t waste the time and he’s funnier. I’m starving. You can all figure this out, bye.

[re=171634]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]:
Ooooo, another big talkin’, ignorant Conservative blustering on about “leftist cowards” and -isms. How novel.

Conservatives are such drama queens, especially when they’re irrelevant. Hath we offended the precious honor of your Dunce Queen of Alaska? Do you plan to challenge we cowardly liberals to a duel of honor or something?

Please, please enlighten us further about the Social-Marxical-Communistical brainwashing perpetrated by the secret, terrorist Masonic American public schools and their New World Order Satanic welfare conspiracy. You know, the one perpetrated by Stalin’s clone who covertly masterminds it all by pulling the strings of the Democratic Party – the truth that the Left-Wing MSM is afraid to reveal.

D’oh. That blog was from yesterday. Guess I didn’t see it through all my “I can’t believe the Butler’s Wife died” tears.

It’s 8:34 EST Saturday and our beloved editors don’t throw us so much as a gnawed-over bone. Bastards! They could just post a single word like “Neimansgate” and it would be like throwing meat to a bunch of rabid dogs.

Okay so it is Saturday night. What are all the wacky wonketeers doing now they have died and gone to heaven? I see Jim and Sarah have abandoned us again, now that we have done all our voting and phoning and canvassing. So does life go on? I read on the intertubes that the CNN holograms were fake holgrams. I am shocked, shocked I say.

[re=171634]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: I find your username humorous, as I have no doubt that you’d be first in line to nail that goddamn hippie socialist Jesus to the cross.

I don’t think he is who you think him is.

[re=171634]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: Hey supposed xian, eat shit. Upset about Palin? Well , she’d rip out your eyes and make trig piss on your brain if you stood in her way.

“Sarah Palin blamed by the US Secret Service over death threats against Barack Obama”

Enjoy your god damned sunday.

[re=171634]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: “members of her own party has reduced me to tears and shame”…

I’m so sorry, Miz/Mr JESUS ALL CAPS. Your party leadership Mr. Husband of recent incumbent special-needs candidate Dole recommends treatment for this condition. Best of luck with your future buttsecs.

You people going after Jesus Is Love can die. As I am guilty of this, you all must assume that your enemy is golf-clothed and READY FOR A ROUND? In hell. Fuck it.

Enjoy the show.

[re=171696]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I don’t understand. Are YOU Jesusislove? Or, what aforementioned transgression in this tangled thread are you admitting to?
I must say, I often don’t understand your posts.
Coherency (coherentness?) is a FRIEND of sarcasm. Srsly.
btw, golf is a stupid sport.

[re=171664]Rush[/re]: “She no longer thinks Ted Stevens, who was convicted on felony charges last month, should resign his post, a reversal from her stance during the campaign.”

I wonder if that whole “returning to Alaska as a national punchline” making it too hard for her to get his seat changed her position on his resignation.

Psst. I have something else for you to read, if you need a boost. “Republicans Blame Palin, Crap Themselves At The Same Time…”

http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2008/11/republicans-blame-palin-crap-themselves.html

It’s been a good week.

omg bill ayers is hilarious:

“When Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin got hold of it, the attack went viral. At a now-famous Oct. 4 rally, she said Obama was “pallin’ around with terrorists.” (I pictured us sharing a milkshake with two straws.)”

don’t temember urging anyone to go and joint the group either ….

Of course when you begin to opinionate in terms of ad nauseum your bound to misconstrue the meaning of the story that the meesenger sent you .

You can’t define truth based upon only those things which appeal to you , sometimes it must be done by delving into things that may not appeal to you at all , and forcing yourself to look at it , and when you deduce that a problem is unsolvable it’s only because you chose to solve it simply by running away from it in disgust .

in the end we all have to put on a pair of shoes , but those who insist to find safety by wearing a pair of golashes could find themselves wandering around alone on a burning desert where it never rains at all

I find it funny how you can associate with some people I have seen you associating with around here already ,and say that , but thats not the point of this story is it ?
And I can understand your distress , as I have just noticed the membership grew by another thousand in one day.

[re=171711]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: what are youi smokin and do you have any left. and as Prof. Jerry Hathaway said “up the voltage”

[re=171698]gurukalehuru[/re]: It is sarcasm. Deeply incoherent, but absolutely sarcastic.
Sometimes I wish I could be Jesus Is Love, but nope. I am not.

[re=171711]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: If I ever find myself wandering, all alone, in a burning desert, I still think I’d rather be wearing galoshes than golashes. (Which for some inexplicable reason has a red underline under it. Did that happen on your computer, too, Jesus Is Love?)

[re=171711]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: Quit raping my language, douchewallop. If you don’t know the meaning or use of large words, stick with the smaller ones. Just puking words onto the screen because they look good pisses some of us off. It also means that whatever point you are trying to make gets lost. Unless, of course, the point is that you’re (note the apostrophe and the ‘e’ at the end) an idiot.

Sincerely,
Slug

[re=171711]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]: You are possibly the most unfunny person I have ever met in my life. For that I congratulate you.

[re=171728]monty[/re]: You just changed the world.
1. Poverty has ended.
2. Equality is prevalent.
3. War is forgotten.
4. ???????
5. Profit!

[re=171725]natoslug[/re]: “Just puking words onto the screen” Now, THAT is funny!

Nobody must forget the shamefull, vile, hateful ways in which McCain and Palin tried to win this election. They appealed to the scum of society by invoking hateful words like “terrorist” based on dishonest, distorted, vague words like “association”, “connection”, etc,. Not to mention the last minute robocalls and Rev Wright ad. As McCain rally videos show, he inspired ignorance and hatred in many of his supporters.

McCain is an angry, shameful shell of a man and his presidency would have been one marked by fear, violence and uncertainty. America chose the right candidate for president, the only viable candidate who will make US international relations more peaceful: US President Barack Obama

[re=171594]chascates[/re]: Heh…won’t it be a surprise when the White Power Rangers get to Alaska and find out that Sitka is full of Jews?

[re=171733]JESUS IS LOVE[/re]:
You recycle? Socialist!

I’ve already admitted I am in need of psychological counseling. But I have
been telling the truth. The psychological problems are apart from that. I
suffered from a form of mental paralysis and severe depression. That
gut-wrenching, head-ripping depression is gone. The mental paralysis
remains, unfortunately. It’s revealed itself in a way I won’t get into right
now. But it has nothing to do with the ‘radioactive’ treatment I’ve been
given the locals; once again emphasizing that it’s just a small handful of
individuals that’s really driving all this.

[re=171744]Borat[/re]: Naw. I like teh ladies. I wish I was gay though.

At my house it’s more like, my cock woke up and my wife didn’t…

[re=171748]SATAN IS FUN[/re]: You’re harshing my buzz, man. I usually only cry during the 9/1l Annual Weepathon (it’s that damn crying eagle that gets me every time), but combined with the maudlin story about the janitor or whatever from the White House and your whole bestiality riff, I’m feelin’ kind of chokey.

Oops, check that. It was just a bong backfire.

Carry on, Armageddon Monger. Did you post a profile in the New Members forum?

[re=171746]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Which explains why THIS is your new girlfriend:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/09/americas-first-transgende_n_142503.html

[re=171554]the invisible woman[/re]: Swifty Lazar, reborn!

[re=171657]Scandalabra[/re]: Enjoy this Reader’s Digest Condensed version of scandalous snowmachinebilly contributions to ‘luxe GDP prêt-à-porter.

This is just funny:

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Councilman-Arrested-for-Peeing-on-Crowd.html

(got it off teh Drudge)

Interested in joining a growing union, yet one where you are a name rather than one of many
clones? UML have an experienced core of members that are establishing ourselves as the key
presence within Tokyo welcoming all levels of players, and hope that you will join our
family.

We war each round and stockpile cash with our bankers to reward our loyal active
members with rank spots each round. Unlike most unions the ranks are shared around on a
regular
basis. Most of all though we want to have fun, particularly on the boards – it is after all
just POLITIC.

If I’ve tempted you to give us a try then please accept the invite that should be waiting.
If not then Enjoy your round . Good luck !!

I am crying into a brown, unbleached tissue.