- NY TIMES LETS AMERICA CHOOSE UNICORN’S CABINET: The New York Times has a boring interactive feature up called “If You Were President…” which lets you vote for the people YOU, the bum, would select to be Secretary of Defense, State, Homeland Security, the Treasury, and the Attorney General. Respectively, Ron Paul is 6th, 8th, 7th, 3rd, and 6th. No Truck Nutz to be found. Hmm! [NYT]
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Authors
Jim Newell (5418)
Wonkette Jr. (623)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (796)
Kaia Mursi (43)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Liz Colville (94)
Ken Layne (6695)
Blair Burke (170)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 57 comments }
Where’s the option to abolish DHS and roll its parts back into Justice and Defense, where they belong.
I can haz posse commitatus?
Can we give Martin Sheen a position? PLEASE????? The West Wing, realized.
http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com
Wonketterrorists, we have a new mission tonight. This isn’t going to be as easy as RTP tho.
Secretary of Defense = Care Bear
State = HR Pufnstuf
Homeland Security = Puff the Magic Dragon
Treasury = Keebler Elf
Attorney General = Papa Smurf
For the record, “trucknutz.com expired on 11/07/2008 and is pending renewal or deletion.”
i put Gale Norton down for all of them. She was America’s first lesbian Cabinet secretary and should be brought back to Washington! Plus she wears a mean leopard pantsuit. Go Gale!!!!
Check the comments here.
http://failedmessiah.typepad.com/failed_messiahcom/2008/11/the-president-e.html
I think “Archie Bunker” is begging for a job in McCain’s office. Anywhere he can get close to some of those Asians he’s so fond of (he has a special name for Asians… “gooks” I think. Charming!).
As a loyal Wonketeer, I voted straight Truck Nutz across the board this morning (and duly reported such on an unrelated thread), but it never shows up. Either they actually have someone paying attention, or we need a lot more votes.
I am surprised to see J-Nap cleaning up with the NYT folks.
My choices, though I admit it they are all obvious:
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2008/11/11/us/politics/20081111_CABINET_PICKER.html
Dr. Shelley Sekula Gibbs for something.
…ABG’s choices for cabinet level appointments:
-Secretary of Defense: Warf from “Star Trek”
-Secretary of State : Samuel Jackson
-Homeland Security: Mr. Blonde from “Reservoir Dogs”
-Secretary of the Treasury: Tony Montana(“No one steals from Tony and get away with it”)
-Attorney General: That really hot D.A. from “Law & Order”
My rotisserie cabinet didn’t last long, because Snagglepuss and Elmer Fudd got in a slap fight.
I can’t find a category for Secretary of Fellatio.
i did T .Rucknutz for sec state
State: Hillary, because Machiavelli is still dead, so we have to go with the closest alternate.
Homeland Security: Inanimate Carbon Rod! Couldn’t be less effective than Skeletor is now.
[re=176218]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
-Surgeon General: Dave Chappelle
I admit it – I voted Ron Paul for Secretary of EVERYTHING. EVOL to all.
[re=176226]bluebrazos[/re]: Sounds foreign — must be State.
Was it wrong to take it seriously? I picked Shinseki, Bill Richardson, Jamie Gorelick, Father Fitzmas and Robert Reich. I so want to be responsible for the death by apoplexy of a neocon, and I think that’s the winning ticket there.
Oh those Paultards. 1 part crazy; 1 part earnest; 1 part vaguely racist. It’s kind of cute. You know they’ve been furiously writing in Dr. Congressman Ron Paul because they think internet polls mean something and that maybe Obama will read this stupid feature on the NYT website and think: “Wow, the American people really love Ron Paul; I guess I should make him Secretary of Everything.”
Ha.
Haha.
HahahahahahahaahHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
[re=176235]obfuscator[/re]: nah, Surgeon General = Dr. Dre!
I’ve gotta agree with the crowd on Volcker for SecTreas and Clarke for DHS, but Ron Paul for everything else.
[re=176237]SayItWithWookies[/re]: *cough*NERD*cough*
T. Rucknutz for AG, and Monica Lewinsky for DHS.
What? She’s trailer trash, and the blue dress matches the blue roofing tarps.
[re=176246]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: …*cough*SECONDED*cough*
My picks were:
Defense Secretary: Bill Ayers
Secretary of State: John Kerry (it demeans him to include him with the rest, I figure)
Homeland Security: Truck Nutz
Attorney General: Alberto Gonzalez
Treasury Secretary: Maureen Dowd (instead of Paul Krugman, get it, HENGH?)
People are such douches – voting on some stupid website and actually believing the powers-that-be will glean ideas from reading the comments left on the NY Times’ internet webpage? Please. Upload your comments to Change.gov.
[re=176246]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: *cough*THIRDED*cough, drinks more cough syrup, cough*
I voted Steve Earle for Secretary of Everything. Just cuz he’s cool.
[re=176246]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: [re=176250]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I’m reporting you meanies to Jamie Gorelick. Then Bill O’Reilly’ll be calling you heroes and martyrs. Hahahahahaha.
Ron Paul is #3 for Treasury. So if he gets it we go to the gold standard!!
wow. solid gold ameros.
Ron Paul needs a new gig. I think we found our man.
[re=176218]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Fred Thompson?
I don’t know who invented the Paultard virus, but that person should be properly executed, immediately, now, forever.
I’m shocked that there’s overlap between people who think Ron Paul should be Secretary of the Treasury and people who know how to read.
[re=176241]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Dr. Octagon what?
Does Samantha Power have a fan club? And if so, how do I join?
If I were president, I would let everybody have free Sunchips and no one would have to work and I would make a new holiday called Track Down Ron Paul and Blow Him Up Day. Amen.
[re=176265]FreshCliches[/re]: …yeah, that turkey giblet thing that dangles off his chin and neck makes my nipples hard! Now excuse me while I pour hydrochloric acid in my eyes!
[re=176270]obfuscator[/re]: …Dr. Kevorkian?
Any upperclass student from Hogwarts.
i was very disappointed when Barry didn’t select Jesus as his running mate….so i think he should get Secretary of State…
since Castro’s out of a job, i think he’d do well as Secretary of Defense..
Homeland security?….i say pull a Bush, not appoint anyone, let the agency die of auto-sexual suicide…
Attorney General should go to my postman, Bob….he works hard and deserves it..
Treasury Secretary…uhmmm…’Dollar Bill’ Jefferson?…it might save the country the expense of prosecuting him..
Suckup of the Day: Ken Layne for press secretary. In a short red skirt.
[re=176241]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Well, the “Chronic Diet” did not work out so well for me. It probably had to do with all those Oreos and chips I ate afterwards.
[re=176267]ronaldpagan[/re]: What makes you think they are reading it? Most Paultards think “Ron Paul” is an answer to any question.
“Paper or plastic?”
“RON PAUL!111!!!!”
[re=176300]glamourdammerung[/re]: Next time, mix pot with healthy doses of designer steroids.
TruckNutz for Homeland Security!
Can I populate my cabinet entirely with muppets?
um, i guess, Thom Yorke, and some other bum. [burp].
That’s RON PAUL, BITCHES!
Gore Vidal, Secretary of State for Making Bitchy but Witty Remarks About the Rest of the Cabinet
If I were president, I would staff my cabinet with animatronic presidents from Disney World.
Gary Hart is beating Ron Paul AND Joe Lieberman for DHS. Is it because everyone knows he isn’t a virgin?
Ok. I’m going to field this question seriously. It’s time to change the world.
Defense Secretary(s): The Wu Tang Clan
Homeland Security Team: the bad terminator from Terminator 3 in cooperation and conjunction w/the sea monster on the bottom right in the board game “Risk”
Treasury Secretary: Me (don’t worry, I got this)
Attorney General: Donovan McNabb’s Mom
Secretary of State: A Unicorn (any one you find will be splendid, no need to be picky)
I can’t remember the last time I was so proud to be an American. Now imagine the Taliban watching a a news conference in which Ghostface is spittin’ the truth. Or Somali pirates dealing with the sea monster.
Wow…that was boring.
Apparently the elitist NYTimes is only allowing real human beings onto this list. That’s not only disrespectful of Truck Nutz, that’s racist!
Defense: Noam Chomsky
State: Noam Chomsky
Homeland Security: Gore Vidal
Attorney General: Matlock
Treasury: Montgomery Burns
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