• February 15, 2012


So Blagojevich tried to shake down Jesse Junior for $25K years ago, and Jesse was all, “I don’t think so,” and then Blaggy somehow made Mrs. Jesse Jackson Junior not get some sweet job, and then he was all, “Now you see what $25,000 is worth, you punk,” and Jesse Junior thought this over, for a couple of years, and then went straight to the U.S. Attorney’s office. Illinois is incredible. [CNN]

{ 71 comments }

shortsshortsshorts December 16, 2008 at 7:45 pm

A guy who acts like a governor before being governor deserves $25,000.

tiny mexican December 16, 2008 at 7:46 pm

If there is a Jesus, Blago will appear in court in a customized STOP SNITCHIN tracksuit.

Scandalabra December 16, 2008 at 7:47 pm

Jesse Jackson Jr. is the hottest Mandingo piece to come down the pike since a certain Barack Obama.

Clyde Midia December 16, 2008 at 7:57 pm

Almost 8 PM. Must.watch.Campbell.Brown.

smellyal8r December 16, 2008 at 7:57 pm

Yeah, my BS detector is running pretty high on this “Jesse admission”. Sounds like a man trying to save his career as he watches “Candidacy No. 5″ go down the drain.

hockeymom December 16, 2008 at 8:02 pm

Carmelo Anthony does not approve.

ManchuCandidate December 16, 2008 at 8:03 pm

This all sounds like a Mamet play.

BL: Ahem
Sticks hand out for payment
JJ: Fuck you!
BL: Well I’m gonna fuck over your wife.
JJ: Fuck you, I’m gonna go to the feds.
BL: What the fuck are they gonna fucking do? Arrest me? Hahahahahaha

Fast forward years later
JJ: Blaggy, the Feds just called and they told me to tell you: FUCK YOU!

PeteJayhawk v2.0 December 16, 2008 at 8:03 pm

[re=200578]smellyal8r[/re]: He’s not really admitting anything now. It’s coming out because of the investigation.

Seriously, all these armchair Encyclopedia Browns trying to sound intelligent and discuss Illinois politics in the comments are annoying.

Come here a minute December 16, 2008 at 8:06 pm

Campbell just asked for our comments at cnn.com/campbell. MORE TRUCKNUTZ PLEEZ!!!

OK, so the big ad worked! SUE ME.

Scandalabra December 16, 2008 at 8:12 pm

I hope CNN is paying at least $10,000 a day to park Campbell Brown here, cuz my “mental anguish” lawsuit is not going to be cheap.

Neilist December 16, 2008 at 8:13 pm

Re JJJ: Reminds me of the old line about “So, where’s James Earl Ray now that we REALLY need him?”

But that was back when O.J. “The Juice Is LOOSE!” Simpson was in the news.

Probably politically incorrect nowadays.

What with Michael Jackson living in Dubai or wherever it is.

Rush December 16, 2008 at 8:15 pm

I better not catch anyone on the east coast posting anything right now. Campbell Brown is on!

SayItWithWookies December 16, 2008 at 8:16 pm

Obviously Barack Hussein Obama is the sinister mastermind behind all of this. I can’t prove anything, but I feel it in my gut.

villageatrois December 16, 2008 at 8:18 pm

JJJr is pissed because he didn’t give the $25k and his wife didn’t get the job. I didn’t give the $25k either, and my wife also didn’t get the job. Can we talk class action here? Call me, JJJr. All major credit cards accepted.

AngryBlakGuy December 16, 2008 at 8:24 pm

…totally off topic; but Jesse Jackson Jr. wife is HOT!!!

Rev. Juan MessyCan December 16, 2008 at 8:30 pm

[re=200600]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: How’s that off-topic? I’d rather do him, but a shag with the Missus in lieu of 25k is not too indecent of a proposal. Or does Blaggy REALLY play for my team. I must hear more!

tsunami December 16, 2008 at 8:32 pm

[re=200600]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: yes she is, but in a very “white girl” way.
but still…

Jackie Treehorn December 16, 2008 at 8:33 pm

[re=200600]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: She’s also a Chicago alderman.
http://www.runsandirun.com/

sarcasticusername December 16, 2008 at 8:34 pm

@AngryBlakGuy: that was my first thought upon seeing this post.

side note: PLEASE get campbell brown off my damn computer screen, she’s EVERYWHERE! it’s pissing me off to no end, i’ll never watch her fucking show now.

Violenza December 16, 2008 at 8:36 pm

THANK YOU. Finally some eye candy for the ladies/gay men after all this endless Campbell Brown looming. Can we put JJJr in the background instead please wearing Campbell Brown’s blazer with no shirt underneath?

bitchincamaro December 16, 2008 at 8:38 pm

Wait. That’s David Alan Grier on Chocolate News Network, right? He’s involved?

Aurelio December 16, 2008 at 8:38 pm

I wonder what the US Attorney had on Jesse Jackson Jr. That’s how they usually get informants.

polichi December 16, 2008 at 8:42 pm

[re=200589]Scandalabra[/re]: I second that… I was flipping through the channels and I saw the Campbell Brown listing and I was so inexplicabily drawn…
in other news, I hate jj jr.

tsunami December 16, 2008 at 8:52 pm

[re=200606]tsunami[/re]: campbell brown is cute, too…but in a
“white girl” way.

blackdontcrack December 16, 2008 at 8:56 pm

STOP SNITCHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALIVE! December 16, 2008 at 9:02 pm

[re=200615]tsunami[/re]: I dunno, if you scroll to just the right spot, the “Edit profile” line crosses over Campbell’s face and it looks like she’s got grillz.

sarcasticusername December 16, 2008 at 9:07 pm

@ALIVE!: i totally just tried that & it cracked me the fuck up!

tsunami December 16, 2008 at 9:11 pm

[re=200620]ALIVE![/re]: hmmm. i’m doing something wrong because
i’m not seeing it.

Beer4Prez December 16, 2008 at 9:21 pm

JJJR does nothing for me. He’s got that ‘little-boy face on a grown man’s body. He compares in no way to Obama. No thoughts as to his wife, but i do have a though on Campbell brown messing up the format on my computer. Can she at least where a white suit so she doesn’t swallow half the words?

Sire Says December 16, 2008 at 9:25 pm

Campbell Brown is fucking out of control. HAHA this comment box runs right over her boobs.

shortsshortsshorts December 16, 2008 at 9:26 pm

It’s like CNN is desperately attempting to protect the innocence of a sack of poop with a gun in its hand.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us December 16, 2008 at 9:32 pm

[re=200609]Violenza[/re]: That doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the Nekkid Obama on teh Unikornz.

ioksotot23 December 16, 2008 at 9:39 pm

JJJ= J.Jonah Jamison? Where is teh spidey?

cal December 16, 2008 at 9:42 pm

CAMPBELL BROWN
WEEKNIGHTS
8PM ET
CNN
the end

wickedlittledoll December 16, 2008 at 9:47 pm

What will Blago do in jail without his favorite Paul Mitchell hairbrush?
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2008/12/warning-thickly-haired-rats-spotted-in_16.html

shortsshortsshorts December 16, 2008 at 9:51 pm

[re=200632]cal[/re]: That has been said so many times, even by this pair of shorts, but I cannot blame you. THOSE EYES. THOSE BRAZEN EYES!

WIDTAP December 16, 2008 at 9:58 pm

[re=200634]Giant Robot[/re]: If you add this link to you Ad blocker or in the Microsoft Web Browser to Tools->Internet Options->Privacy->Sites_Address of Website->Block, you can join our protest of the lack of Anderson Cooper advert themes by shutting out Camplbell Brown.

Support the Coop! Down with Brown!

villageatrois December 16, 2008 at 10:01 pm

[re=200636]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: “pair of shorts” Uhh, mehbe triad of shorts? Mehbe used to be triad of pants?

Flaming O December 16, 2008 at 10:03 pm

Better Campbell Brown than Larry King. Think of that.
No, wait.
Don’t.

shortsshortsshorts December 16, 2008 at 10:06 pm

[re=200640]villageatrois[/re]: DO NOT SPEAK OF SUCH THINGS.
They will ban me again. Then I have to use the third alternative, shortspantsshorts, which totally umm, KILLS STREET CRED. Word, er something.

Lionel Hutz Esq. December 16, 2008 at 10:10 pm

Isn’t this how it always goes down. The young black man ratting out the older white man. Fight the Power!

[re=200600]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:

Hotness is never off topic here. Remember the priorities of Wonkette:

Buttsex
Gin
All other forms of Alcohol
Pot (West Coast division)
Gay Restroom sex
Straight Restroom sex
All other forms of sex
Pandas
Humor
Hatred of all things Paultard
Politics
The upcoming Rapture and Apocalypse

Of course posting on any of those topics will get you immediately banned, but they are not off topic.

(Speaking of which, aren’t we overdue for a purge? Or is Jim holding off until Christmas day?)

Campbell Brown December 16, 2008 at 10:12 pm

This is pretty interesting. I wish there was a sassy brunette who could comment on this, preferably without bias and “bull”. Perhaps on a local cable network, 8PM let’s say. Any ideas where to turn?

shortsshortsshorts December 16, 2008 at 10:14 pm

[re=200645]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Mr. Hutz I know you have been here a long time, but it is not buttsex. It is assfucking.

Thank you.

ALIVE! December 16, 2008 at 10:18 pm

[re=200624]tsunami[/re]: It might not line up properly on every page. When it does, you’ll know.

ALIVE! December 16, 2008 at 10:19 pm

Can’t think of what Xmas gift for the guy (yes, guy) who has everything, even TRUCKNUTZ? How about a pair of these?
http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102729775&c=10100&v=2&vendorDirect=true

villageatrois December 16, 2008 at 10:33 pm

[re=200643]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Such such such things shall then not be spake spake spake. I told my wife that there were people banned from Wonkette, and she asked what in the world could they have said that was beyond the bounds thereof?

Well, you kinda see it, but it’s pretty hard to define.

PS: I got her off my case by saying you were banned for cruelty to kittens. Sorry.

SayItWithWookies December 16, 2008 at 10:38 pm

[re=200649]ALIVE![/re]: That’s sick. How many jackalopes had to die for those?!

sarcasticusername December 16, 2008 at 11:09 pm

@Campbell Brown: DROP DEAD! That Is All.

WestEdEd December 16, 2008 at 11:37 pm

I declare a Campell Brown Photo shop contest battle royal

NYNYNY December 16, 2008 at 11:52 pm

So he’s not such a congressman, more like a highly placed stool pigeon? Why does Wolf keep saying, “We know this is very very sensitive?” like he’s about to fucking circumcise us?

Lionel Hutz Esq. December 17, 2008 at 12:15 am

[re=200647]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Whoops. That’s a banning. It was nice knowing you all.

AWOcoholic December 17, 2008 at 12:33 am

Junior’s wife is smokin’ hot, btw.

shortsshortsshorts December 17, 2008 at 12:48 am

Has anybody else fapped to the different ways you can say Blagojevich?

[re=200651]villageatrois[/re]: The kittens thing is totally acceptable in any book. Don’t read mine.
[re=200676]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: DO NOT GO AWAY EVER.

Lionel Hutz Esq. December 17, 2008 at 2:32 am

[re=200693]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Same back at you.

Anyway, I can’t leave now. Apparently Campbell Brown has finally gotten all those letters I’ve been sending, and is now stocking me through Wonkette. I knew she would see that we were meant for each other.

Mojopo December 17, 2008 at 3:23 am

Are you trying to tell me that the lone voice of reason in this crazy world, Jesse Jackson Jr., has been ignored for years? Omaighot. Who has he been ratting to? If it’s anyone with the SEC, you can be fo’ sho’ that nobody listens. Always remember, anti-snitch advocates, JJ Jr isn’t an informer – he is an INFORMANT. Way big diff. Mmm-hmm.

Also, Campbell Brown has been invading my nightmares. Every night, it’s her in cowboy boots riding the corpse of Timmeh. She asks me listen cut the bull, and then I wake up screaming.

Last – I live in Chicago and Imma ’bout sick of the way this city does not remove ice and snow. So I blogged on it. I even gave Daley the Perez treatment, by scribbling in devil horns on his sizable forehead and splooge on his mouth. My revenge is my fun time.
http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2008/12/snowed-in-by-daley-in-chicago.html

It does not suck.

Makeithurt December 17, 2008 at 5:16 am

Jackson is a slime bucket — just like his dear old dada.

TGY December 17, 2008 at 7:38 am

[re=200600]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: That was my thought, such as it was.

opapriehali December 17, 2008 at 7:43 am

Junior’s wife is smokin’ hot, btw.

http://christmasmaster.org/view-free-christmas-music.html

Canuckledragger December 17, 2008 at 8:34 am

[re=200719]Makeithurt[/re]: That’s the word in Hymietown.

pondscum December 17, 2008 at 9:33 am

[re=200645]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I miss the days of endless panda posts. Butterstick was so cute as a young pup.

Schadenfried December 17, 2008 at 9:45 am

[re=200568]tiny mexican[/re]: I will give Wonkette my Christmas bonus (believe or not, my company is giving one) if that happens.

On topic, when did Jesse Jr marry Karrine “Superhead” Steffans?

Schadenfried December 17, 2008 at 9:49 am

[re=200591]Neilist[/re]: you cant haz racist

Aquannissiwamissoo December 17, 2008 at 10:00 am

[re=200600]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Umm …. yup. With double sprinkles.

norbizness December 17, 2008 at 10:07 am

Jesse Jr. looks like Webster had he actually grown up like a normal person.

Doglessliberal December 17, 2008 at 10:21 am

[re=200581]ManchuCandidate[/re]: and Rebecca Pigeon plays Blaggy’s wife?

binarian December 17, 2008 at 11:14 am

I’m glad someone else mentioned Jesse’s missus is hot….

And yes, Campbell is cute too, and an astute politacal observer as well, but do we have to have an almost life-size jpeg of her on the right side of the page??? Jesus…..

Kev-O-Tron December 17, 2008 at 12:06 pm

[re=200581]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I actually fell for this when I read it. I’m dumb but it’s real funny.

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/12/12/142929/59/901/672355

oy vey December 17, 2008 at 2:47 pm

actually Juniors wife looks a LOT like a certain other Jackson who had a “wardrobe malfunction”… and speaking of wardrobe malfunctions…why can’t our lovely Campbell have one?

oy vey December 17, 2008 at 2:48 pm

from[re=200887]binarian[/re]: from your mouth to god’s ears it should be life size!

Jukesgrrl December 17, 2008 at 3:20 pm

[re=200589]Scandalabra[/re]: You can make that lawsuit a class action lawsuit because she’s everywhere and the sufferers are legion. I can see the commercials to come: “Are you suffering from palsy, nightsweats, and projectile vomiting every time you see the letters C-N-N? You may be eligible to receive money from Campbell Brown! Call Blagojevich and Blagojevich to see if you have what it takes to be included in this pay-out ordered by the courts. Call today!

WIDTAP December 17, 2008 at 3:50 pm

[re=200589]Scandalabra[/re]: Dude – just block the image with your web browser and kwitcherbitchin.

Does every thread need to be Campbelljacked?

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