• February 10, 2012

Here’s another brilliant press conference with everyone’s favorite death monument of a U.S. Senator, Roland “Don’t Lynch Me” Burris, who’s talking to the media at an airport shortly before his flight to Washington. Because he’s coming! The reporters ask him questions for eight minutes and he tells them all to shut the hell up, for eight minutes.

The best part comes around 1:45 when a reporter asks Burris how he will be in both Springfield and Washington for meetings at the same time, on Wednesday, and Burris replies that he is “the magic man.” Oh… oh that is just naughty.

Other highlights include the opening questions about race, during which Burris claims he would never play Racial Politics. Then he mentions how great it is that he is one of a select few black Senators in American history. Very select few. Like, it’s really something that needs to happen for him.

Then he just yells at everyone — and deservedly so! Like many quote transcribers reporters, these folks are ungodly annoying.

Well, get on that plane already, Roland! Cuz tomorrow will be so awesome:

The aide familiar with Senate Democratic leaders’ plans said if Burris tries to enter the Senate chamber, the Senate doorkeeper will stop Burris. If Burris were to persist, either trying to force his way onto the Senate floor or refusing to leave and causing a scene, U.S. Capitol Police would stop him, said the aide.

Roland Burris Heads to Washington and an Uncertain Future [YouTube via Washington Monthly]

{ 28 comments }

Texan Bulldoggette January 5, 2009 at 4:43 pm

Oh, so Roland is the ‘Magic Negro’. Chippie Saltsman will be glad to get that all cleared up.

BillyClubb January 5, 2009 at 4:49 pm

If Burris were to persist, either trying to force his way onto the Senate floor or refusing to leave and causing a scene, U.S. Capitol Police would stop him…

Look out Roland, in our post-9/11 world those capitol police just might shoot to kill.

user-of-owls January 5, 2009 at 4:50 pm

Roland Burris needs to shove a pick axe handle the size of Roland Burris’s ego up Roland Burris’s miserable ass.

Dramatist January 5, 2009 at 4:51 pm

This is such a sad thing. He really thinks he’s the Senator. And none of them have the heart to tell him otherwise.

chascates January 5, 2009 at 4:51 pm

Maybe Franken can sneak in the side door when Burris is being ejected from the front.

Dramatist January 5, 2009 at 4:51 pm

[re=209114]BillyClubb[/re]: Who do they think he is? A Muslim family trying to fly to Florida?

Scandalabra January 5, 2009 at 4:56 pm

No Drama Obama must be cringing over these shenanigans.

BillyClubb January 5, 2009 at 4:56 pm

[re=209118]Dramatist[/re]: Whoa! Don’t be so quick to play the race card. We don’t do that around here…

twingonaut January 5, 2009 at 4:59 pm

Shouldn’t that be “Don’t lynch me, bro!”?

Packherd January 5, 2009 at 5:07 pm

Oh god. It’s like KNOWING you’re going to get a root canal without anesthesia. Tomorrow. At 1:30. We’ll charge you a $50 late fee if you don’t show up.

bitchincamaro January 5, 2009 at 5:07 pm

My advice: Don’ fly! Drive a broken down wagon pulled by an arthritic mule-team all the way to D.C. Congresspeoples like that kind of theater.

pondscum January 5, 2009 at 5:14 pm

Dude needs to carry a cane to knock upside someone’s head. Nothing beats a good caning in the US Senate.

2druk2phluq January 5, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Obama: “Tax cuts for the wealthy and big business!”
Burris: “Rod Blagojevich is the shit!”
Limbaugh: “Hell-o paycheck!”
Voters: “Duh… uh… duh…”
Wonketteers: “We are surrounded by idiots. Aim for their minds and we may get out alive.”

Aurelio January 5, 2009 at 5:17 pm

I wonder what Blago has on Burris to get him to do this ridiculous stunt. It’s like being an assistant to Sisyphus.

IceCreamEmpress January 5, 2009 at 5:21 pm

Roland Burris has balls of titanium and a taint of plutonium.

Uncle Al January 5, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Why do so many politicians refer to themselves in the third person?
How can they not realize it makes them sound schizophrenic?

finallyhappy January 5, 2009 at 5:29 pm

Wednesday- damn- I am going to be on the Hill tomorrow- I would even go early if I could see this.

blader January 5, 2009 at 5:30 pm

I pity the foo!

Jukesgrrl January 5, 2009 at 5:31 pm

Aw, c’mon. All he wants is a little office and a little staff for a couple of days so he can carve “U.S. Senator Extraordinaire” on his supercrypt. Is that asking too much?

Jukesgrrl January 5, 2009 at 5:33 pm

[re=209151]Uncle Al[/re]: He’s just trying to remind all his relatives what to name their children.

Neilist January 5, 2009 at 6:49 pm

Can the fine folks at Disney cobble together an AudioAnimatronic “Governor George Wallace” doll to stand in the doorway?

I mean, if George Herbert Walker Bush is unavailable?

Or is insufficiently life-like to convince observers that his head is not stuffed with sawdust?

Neilist January 5, 2009 at 6:50 pm

Shit. I just realized that I hypenated “life-like.”

My bad.

Pat Pending January 5, 2009 at 6:56 pm

Roland Burris is no Chuck Norris.

daisy chain January 5, 2009 at 7:21 pm

Why doesn’t everyone just relax? Senator George Jefferson is movin on up.

smellyal8r January 5, 2009 at 8:08 pm

And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, this is what happens when the Democrats are in charge. Blacks prevented from entering the Senate Chamber, D Govs allowed to sell appointments and a D President who isn’t sure what to do (and lets Bobby Rush handle the mess).

With all due respect to Sen. Reid, they need to let this guy in and stop worrying about who sent him. This is a stupid fight. Let him in and put him on crap committees and start shining up the top hats for Inauguration Day. If Blaggo gets impeached, tell the Lt Gov to send a letter saying Burris still serves. Then dump a whole lotta munnies on J Jackson Jr to win in ’10. The end.

Mr Blifil January 5, 2009 at 9:32 pm

Oh shit. Does that mean if he tries to force his way, McKinney-like, past the Capitol police that it could be Giuliani time?

ladymacbeth January 5, 2009 at 10:15 pm

roland burris travels from midway.

nobody travels from midway.

Johnny Thompson January 6, 2009 at 8:02 am

but will he remember the face of his father?

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