- IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE PUMA BLOG: “Oh, and BTW, Wonkette readers, someday, if you’re lucky, you will live long enough to be old. Your tits will sag, your scrotums will lose their perky tautness and young, stupid adolescent males will make fun of you, unless, of course, the PUMAs make them insignificant. Someday, you may thank us.” Jesus, do you type to your mother with those hands? What does this even mean? Our tits (they’ll have to be yours by default, Sara, sorry) will get saggy and then adolescent males will make fun of us until PUMA KILLS ALL OF THE ADOLESCENT MALES ON EARTH? These people should be in prison. [Confluence]
Previous post: David Denby Finds Wonkette ‘Proudly Idiotic’
Next post: Harry ‘Orval Faubus’ Reid Doesn’t Let Black Person Into Senate
{ 171 comments }
I note that Wonkette is up to a million votes or something- way more than the PUMA. And my family gave you 4 votes last night- legally!
What a neverending fountain of retardation.
what’s with this rash of attacks on wonks in 2009? i’m feeling kind of special in a PUMA euthinasia kind of way. it’s a nice warm feeling on the inside.
It’s OK. I asked my wife if she’d still love me when my scrotum was no longer perky and taught and she said she would, so I’ve got that angle covered. I just hope her tits don’t get too saggy when she’s old. They’re pretty small, though (Asian woman) so I doubt they’ll end up drooping to her knees or anything.
It’s refreshing to see a site so proud of representing the old and ugly, but I still don’t want them feeling up my scrotum. I don’t care how many times they ask.
Confluence makes me cry in my no-no zone.
The day my scrotum loses its perky tautness is the day I will vote for the rotting carcass known has Hillary Clinton.
Holy Shit! The PUMAs have a final solution for all the young, stupid, adolescent males. Who will prepare our Whoppers and give us more Palins?
@Serold Divad: Oh, they meant women’s sagging breasts?! They need to write more clearly.
Last I checked, my scrotums were perky.
PUMAs = Comedy Gold
Damn, my scrotum has been saggy for years, but the non-PUMA’s I manage to date do have perky tits of tautness. So, eff-you PUMA scum. Old people suck.
Yeah, because nothing says “fuck the patriarchy” like rejecting a political candidate that is pro-choice and for women’s issues just because he had THE GALL to run against and triumph over a random dynasty politician with a vagina.
Confluence writers may need to get laid? Ohh I forgot they are hold hags like Hillary whose private parts may cough on you, if touched.
oh PUMA, why so snarky?
Of course the effluence gals (or at least SwamInIt-Spirit) are on the weblogs award site claiming Wonketteers are Cheaters! Cheaters! Cheaters! because if we really understood how much they have suffered at the hands of adolescent males there would be justice and we would have all voted for them.
My scrotum had perky tautness?
When? I don’t recall across my fifty one years on god’s green earth that my ballsack ever looked anything BUT wrinkled…
The paragraph before that implies that some of them are men, right before they say they’re going to make the men “insignificant.” Apparently this is some Amazonian female dom fetish cult.
You know… I’ve done some thinking on the matter and realized: the only time my scrotum is taught is when it’s cold outside. Then it’s taught like a baseball. Otherwise it’s more like a pair of oranges in plastic shopping bag. Surely I’m not the only one?
This is as good a place as any to remind everyone that a vote for Rumproast is a vote against PUMAs.
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-small-blog/
/not associated with Rumproast
And I need to watch my tags better. *shoots himself in the sagging scrotum*
WEAR A FUCKING BRA, you saggy tittied confluence readers….
Listen up to wisdom when it’s proffered, people. Those who have been teabagged one too many times know their sagging scrotums.
Jeez PUMAs, we don’t pick on you because you’re old. We mock you because you bitterly cling to the Hilsbot like a Pentacostal Krazee Minister clings to his crotchless wetsuit. Being old is just the icing on the cake.
What is it with PUMAs and tits and scrotums and stuff, all saggy and un-taut, really, what the fuck does that all mean? I’m terrified of them…
[re=209734]Origami[/re]: Obviously Barack Obama hates women. I mean, he made Hillary a secretary. What a fucking misogynist!
…I keep my scrotum perky with a “Scrotum Sling”!
I find their demeaning of non-perky scrota to be biased against men with inguinal hernias.
Confluence is defined as a point where two things merge together.
Aint that a taint?
I guess at some point my scrotum will become so saggy it will rest
on my confluence.
So, should we take from this that Hillz has saggy tits, and Bill a loose scrotum? In other news, water is still wet.
Good point about the boobs and scrota. Oldster orgies are a bummer.
I still think this is the conservative/liberal equivalent to Jon Swift. Or meth use really has gotten out of control in Bitterzland
Oh perky taut scrotum, i am gonna miss you!
I’m already old as dirt. Sorry, that ship has sailed.
What is a PUMA? The NY Times asked this question yesterday, or so I’ve heard.
Well, God forbid she should read the damn paper. It’s not as if she’s busy stocking up on Vagisil.
If a grown woman is looking for validation/acceptance from adolescent Males, she’s got WAY bigger problems than winning a blogger popularity contest.
Oh please. Not one of those PUMAs can honestly say that their tits have been perky since the T. Rex went extinct.
Ahhhhhh the power of pussy.
[re=209734]Origami[/re]: THANK you.
I thought scrotes were supposed to sag. Look at the ideal model for the male scrote, TruckNutz, and you’ll notice a significant sag.
Truck Nutz never lose their perky tautness.
[re=209752]Sassette[/re]: Does she have to iron his shirt?
[re=209755]Theodorick Of York[/re]: Once taint seemps into the Kool-aid through confluence, we’ll all be screwed
[re=209771]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: True, but they are subject to road rash.
Just a quick question for all the Scrotum-Americans here: Exactly how much of your adolescence do YOU recall spending on making fun of old ladies?
I’m looking and googleing for what PUMA stands for. Are they like cougars? Do they lust after virile young men who need not viagra?
[re=209742]Serolf Divad[/re]: Try going downhill on one of those county fair rusty bolt rollercoasters. That makes it baseball taught too.
I’m so excited for Wonkette today. I love it when I roll into the office and find PUMA posts amongst other “atrociously base” (you’re welcome Denby) posts. I’m doing the pee pee dance in my chair right now and I can’t form the funnies in my mind!
Correct me if I’m wrong, PUMAs, but if adolescent boys are looking at my old hairy danglers, I got other problems than just their mockery, neh?
Teh bitterz! If it were possible I’d send a 220v pulse to blow out the Confluence servers in a rite of blogosphere purification.
New acronym: MINLF.
I’m sure I am old and female(old enough to move in Leisure World- ok)- but I didn’t lose my sense of humor or decide that my anger(and I am angry) needed to make me stupid(yes, Confluence- a smart old woman is saying this about you). As to being liberal- some of the postings there are the same crap I see on right wing nut sites(someone still blathering about the Supreme Court birth certificate thing). I think I see dishonesty based in pathetic bitterness. hey, PUMAs, Barack Obama becomes our President in 14 days- suck it up.
[re=209768]unprotoize[/re]: I second that.
Anyway…perky tautness?? Seriously?
My eagle is crying, somewhere.
For those of you new to following the mass fucktardedness of the pumakitties, I think this was their most epic post:
SONIA4HILLARY Says:
May 14th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
I NEED FREAKING CHEESECAKE
JUST WHEN I MANAGED TO LOOSE 5 POUNDS FROM MY BUTT
I AM SICK OF THIS STUPID MEN WORLD,,DNC,,AND OBAMAS FEVER
[re=209775]user-of-owls[/re]: i grew up when the Golden Girls were on television. i didn’t have to make fun of them, they made fun of themselves. i miss estelle getty
For the record, a scrotum lift is a lot cheaper than a tit lift.
Did anybody read this? It’s above the saggy tits part.
“We are not the kind of people who are concerned with whether our vaginas are as fresh and sweet …”
Jesus, my saggy scrotum just went into my abdominal cavity. And. I. Can’t. Get. It. Out.
Well, I don’t interpret “until PUMAs make them insignificant” to mean that all adolescent males will be killed. Perhaps whomever wrote that means just what they wrote ~ insignificant politically. For clarification, it would be best had the writer spelled out exactly what they did mean by that statement, but in the interests of peace and joy, let us give everyone the benefit of the doubt and leave it at that?
[re=209775]user-of-owls[/re]: Well, there was Madonna.
[re=209775]user-of-owls[/re]: I remember this conversation happening almost daily when I was in high school.
dude #1: Hey, you guys wanna smoke some weed, talk about girls and listen to the new Husker Du album?
dude #2: No way man, lets drive around and harass old ladies.
dude #1 and dude #3: FUCK YEAH!
[re=209742]Serolf Divad[/re]: Are you suggesting that the PUMAs are so frigid as to have caused tautness in the scrotum of every naked man they have ever been close to? SEXIST
I keep a couple of ice cubes handy to apply to my sagging scrotums. Perks them right up.
I wonder how long it’s been since any of them have seen scrota – saggy, taut or otherwise. Oh, and you all cheat: http://pumapac.org/2009/01/06/wonkette-is-cheating/
Fight PUMA madness. Vote for Rumproast in the best small blog category. Teh PUMA is supporting some winger site: http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-small-blog/
For those who haven’t witnessed it, here’s a great primer on PUMA:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65awpykCvAs
Isn’t there some sort of threshold for taking oneself too seriously? Past that point, you explode or implode or something? These folks passed it a while ago, if yes, so look out for flying saggy tit parts.
[re=209796]mememaw[/re]: Guess i’ll be throwing away that tuna sandwich i brought for lunch.
[re=209804]jagorev[/re]: assumes facts not in evidence: that PUMAs have ever been near, or even had the opportunity to be near, naked men. (live ones)
[re=209807]Hart88[/re]:
God that’s hilarious. “bring me Solo and the Wookie”
Sad, so sad. I believe these people are engaging in a modern trend called “snark” which I learned about from a brilliant book by the esteemed David Denby who has identified this “snark” as the very thing which is mean and personal and is ruining our conversations.
I can’t wait to have tits.
[re=209801]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: When I was an adolescent, you could cut yourself on Madonna’s tits. Now she’s all confluency.
[re=209802]CrunchyKnee[/re]: Exactly! “Dude, you know who puts out behind the fieldhouse?” “Who cares man, look at the saggy tits on that old broad!”
I’m concerned with fresh and sweet vaginas above MOST things.
[re=209807]Hart88[/re]:
Holy crap, that’s the infamously idiotic jennforhillary.
No love from the PUMAs for an ass man like me?
I just now wikipedia’d PUMA. “People United Means Action”? You’re kidding. I assumed it had something to do with “matures”.
Ah, those silly bored, overindulged, white, middle class, soccer moms and Sex and the City castaways. My tits are already packed to head South, but I still have the face of my youth. My beauty secret, not reading Jezebel, Cosmo, Glamour, etc., and not living pricariously through the the lives of women in the spotlight such as Jennifer Anniston, Hillary Clinton, and Sarah Palin. Which is why, in my late 30s, I will look far younger than you or your daughters who are barely 25.
Ah PUMAs, candidates for episodes of Snapped.
[re=209807]Hart88[/re]:
The Giant pumpkin is real?
[re=209810]Doglessliberal[/re]: How else do you think they carry out their castrations? (Oh god, I’m on their list now)
I just threw up a triple grande sugar free vanilla skim white mocha all over my desk. Snark.
[re=209776]howell[/re]: [re=209822]Barrett808[/re]: I thought it was “Party Unity, My Ass!”
[re=209822]Barrett808[/re]:
No. Party Unity, My fat wrinkly irrelevant Ass.
Awww, look at the cute old people using dirty words so as to look hip. So cute!
Your boy Burris got turned away from the Senate. And it’s RAINING out…
Did ya notice how their comment thread seemed to feature the same 3 commenters over and over, at least two of which seem to be moderators? Does anyone read that blog besides the authors and people who just found out about it here?
Do they offer a cure to the sagging Illinois taint?
Dear PUMAs: I am an old white lesbian. For realz. And you still suck.
Another Conflatulence post: “Just went to Wonkette.Those people are just downright nasty.”
WTF? These people don’t make any sense. And those anatomical references are, you know, pretty creepy, in addition to being bizarrely meaningless. Don’t the non-wonkette people of the blogosweb realize that this group of losers has so much time on our hands that we can make sure that “our” wonkette wins any and all meaningless contests put out over the internet tubes?
And you just have to read a couple of wonkette posts to realize that it would be hard to find a warmer, fuzzier group of people. Shit, I’m guessing half the wonkerrati is humming Kumbaya at any given moment. And I teach Sunday School, so there, you goofy bitches.
They weren’t kidding, they ARE that insane:
http://harrietchristian.net/
[re=209743]MisterLoki[/re]: Great reminder. I haven’t voted today. Off I go.
The cock envy is strong with them:
afrocity, on January 6th, 2009 at 12:23 pm Said:
Wonkette… sounds like something you would name a penis pump
[re=209742]Serolf Divad[/re]: Oranges/Grapefruit. Whatever.
[re=209807]Hart88[/re]: HAHAHAHAH that’s the best video ever made, thank you.
It appears to me that Confluence consists of the people out there who really think that when they type a comment into a box, it is the most important thing that has ever been said by any person, in the world, ever.
Let’s take this as an example, shall WE, HEEENNNGGHHH????
“Pat Johnson, on January 6th, 2009 at 10:23 am Said:
What is the point of Wonkette? I really do not understand a blog dedicated to nothing but the vilest and ill informed comments as being representative of anything but frat boy comments.
No discussion that I can see other then people trying to top one another with snarky commentary and idiotic posts.
I must be missing something here. Oh wait, I am old, post menopausal, and uneducated on top of being a Repub. My bad!”
MY LIFE IS CHANGED FOREVER. I WILL NOW TYPE LIKE THIS AND BE VERY SERIOUS CAUZ I KNOW THAT EVERYONE LISTENS TO SERIOUS PEOPLEZ. DAILY KOZ HERE I COME I AM SOOOOOO ENLIGHTENED.
Posted (and subsequently deleted on Confluence):
“Here’s the thing that the members of Confluence have yet to grasp: Wonkette doesn’t like any political party. Everyone is fair game for a verbal whipping. Wonkette is, in fact, a game of one-upping each other, and mostly a play on words. We are for the amusement of each other, not the rest of the world. Much like your “group” of individuals here.
I do have to clarify, too, that I make fun of older people simply because they deserve it. Your generation, much like mine and everyone else’s, has small groups within it. Whereas you mock the seemingly illiterate of my generation (which, by the way, yours is chock full of, too), you marginalize the advanced degree holders, the technologically savvy and dedicated (the main reason why Wonkette is winning this race–we take competition seriously), and living, breathing walking dead that have managed to infiltrate your everyday workplaces and maintain a life outside of them (much the way your generation did).
Also, my tits will sag, but I will follow in the proud tradition of most Boomer mothers I know of, and have them hiked up to my newly lipo-ed chin. We learn by example. And as my father taught me: “No one generation is responsible for creating a behavior or perfecting it. It’s a continual effort.” Keep that in mind the next time you want to swipe the young whippersnappers.
Good luck in this contest, ladies and gentlemen.”
They can’t read, apparently. My sentence about marginalizing confused them. Use big words, y’all, and in complex ways!
[re=209753]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I carry mine around in a NutzTruck™.
[re=209789]justlen[/re]: Obama has a fever?
PUMA = Vaginal Silicosis
It does my heart good to see Wonktards circling the wagons like this. When Conflagration or whatever they’re called gets a readership beyond 12 women in the weekly sewing circle/batshit insane club, then we’ll talk.
I took Dave Chappelle’s advice and now my scrotums will ALWAYS be taut.
http://www.veoh.com/videos/v1082951HCteGF9K
Ken, Jim: Do you also realize that Sara’s vadge must represent Wonkette by default, as well? Furthermore, do you both realize that since you don’t have a vadge, you’re “teh fratboyz”?
Also, from the comments:
Alice Rodham Puma, on January 6th, 2009 at 7:19 am Said:
I am always astounded at the amount of PUMA hate there is out there and just how hypocritical the haters seem to be. All I can say is you must be doing something RIGHT. Carry on Conflucians, carry on!!
Yes Alice, bring out the Hannity/Limbaugh defense – “If you don’t like or agree with what I say, logic or reality be damned, I MUST be hitting a nerve, therefore, I am right!”
There’s no stupid like PUMA stupid.
Sigh… it’s all true though.
Every time I run across a group of adolescent boys, I ask them to assess the perkiness of my scrotum and they DO make fun of me!!!
If I post a picture, will all you older, saner and all around nicer people tell me whether my scrotum is perky?
[re=209865]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Feh. She sounds like a fan of that Denby-bitch
[re=209865]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I may be vile, I’m certainly ill-informed — but a frat boy? It will not stand!
[re=209878]FreshCliches[/re]: “Conflucians?” That sounds like the medical term for what I hacked up this morning. Either that or some sort of medieval city-state society. Both sound about right for the PUMAblog.
Let’s get one thing straight, these PUMAs are really FUPAs, and they want to spread their FUPA-ness to all the non-FUPAs in the world.
Someday, if I live long enough, plastic surgery will have zero recovery time, so that when I am ready for my 50 year overhaul I can immediately get back to chasing stupid adolescent males. I so enjoy a non-saggy scrotum and the taste of virgin jizz from a stupid taut male!
BTW. Scrotums cannot be TAUT. And they usually don’t learn from experience either.
Sweet, sweaty, ball-sucking Jesus, there ain’t nothing better than whiny, self-entitled boomers. Poor babies, all they got was our entire entitlement system, which they will duly destroy before the rest of us reach the age of retirement. And I’m so sorry you old saggy titted loons had to spend the U.S. into a gerjillion dollars of debt and burn a bazillion gallons of oil while leaving us with the tab. Boo-fucking-hoo.
[re=209833]Sassette[/re]: Pick Up My Areolas?
In the realm of feline-named Web sites, I’d rather spend my time on cougars.com. Particularly the personals. No fatties, though.
[re=209889]V572625694[/re]: I know. That was the most important and insulting comment. Most of you people were beat up in high school and therefore hide behind political satire to cope with the issues. I am no exception to this.
PUMA: Go screw yourselves. Your so-called “blog” thing sucks–it is not journalism, it doesn’t approach journaiism, it’s a huge, stinking pile of crap.
There. How do you like that?
I posted the Chappelle video over ont the Conflu, you know, just to be a taut scrotum, and got this…
“bostonboomer, on January 6th, 2009 at 12:35 pm Said:
College Student,
That’s very funny. Don’t send it to Wonkette though. They are satire-challenged.”
Oouuhh, Burn.
Mercy these Pumas. They’re like the herpes outbreak that Valtrex can’t kill. I thought we left that ish back in August? Now they’ve got their grannies in a twist over Our Wonkette. If you bitches are gonna criticize at least recognize where we’re coming from. Wonkette is a community of progressives that are jaded and hopeful. We face the crushing reality of our shitty world with a healthy dose of humor, irony, and sarcasm. When your life lacks such sentiments, or when you are too stupid to understand them, you face the risk of turning Puma. Pumas are joyless, bitter, ignorant hags. The sadness within you permeates your being until you’re nothing but a hateful ball of shit living in a sad internet reality. Really, Pumas aren’t that different from Wonkette readers, except we have a firm grip on reality. See the difference?
[re=209869]SeminoleInDior[/re]: No, I think it was this sentence:
And as my father taught me: “No one generation is responsible for creating a behavior or perfecting it. It’s a continual effort.”
The word “father” set them off; they thought you were trying to imply that men are more wise than women, thus reinforcing archaic, patriarchal views of society.
Does getting older decrease one’s ability to string words together into a sentence? Or does the writer really mean that the PUMAs will make scrotums and “tits” insignificant? HUH?
I agree with the general drift here that Wonkette readers are a diverse group. The common denominator is a sense of humor.
Schadenfried:
I know how they feel, man.
My father had a penis. I never forgave him.
[re=209807]Hart88[/re]: Thanks for the link to the video. Now everything the ConFlatulence ladies say makes perfect sense. I hadn’t realized until now that running a smart, discliplined campaign (that can actually win) is fascist. And though I’m 61 next month, I still look better than that woman.
Truly, this is the most entertaining contest since the election, except this time I’m not in agony, knowing the Future of Civilization is at stake.
BTW, and OT–Does anyone else find Harry Reid likable but lame?
[re=209742]Serolf Divad[/re]: Your scrotum is “taught” when you’re outside? Who teaches it and what has it learned?
[re=209887]insert_namehere[/re]: Um…you better hope Chris Hanson doesn’t find out about that.
[re=209807]Hart88[/re]: Hart 88? Really? Are you by any chance Gary Hart? ‘Cause that would be way cool.
Does anyone else start humming “Hillary 4U and me” when they read the kitty sites?
Or is it just me?
[re=209935]yellowdogdem[/re]:
I blame my voice recognition software.
All this press seems to be good for Wonkette. I’m spying quite the handful of new commenters here. Newbies beware – bring the funny or bring your bag of dicks for lunch.
Wow the Confluence postings are sour enough to make HILLARY’s balls shrivel.
[re=209903]Vewol Mevemont[/re]: brilliant
[re=209869]SeminoleInDior[/re]: Jeepers. That post is sheer brilliance. (I’m a Baby Boomer mother and can’t afford to have any work done until I win the lottery–then plastic surgery, here I come). Maybe we should all register to post on ConFlatu-whatever–and keep cutting and posting your brilliant essay. Make them delete it a thousand times today.
I was about to ask whether that might drive them over the edge but then I realized, silly me, that they’re already there.
[re=209917]NoWireHangers[/re]: Wonkette is a community of progressives that are jaded and hopeful. We face the crushing reality of our shitty world with a healthy dose of humor, irony, and sarcasm.
Awesome definition of Wonketteers. It belongs in a “mission statement” on the Wonkette home page!
[re=209974]Serolf Divad[/re]: You need scrotum recognition software (or Truck Nutz).
[re=209789]justlen[/re]:
These PUMA’s are giving me the impression that I’m about the only middle aged woman out there who still LIKES men. This should do wonders for my dating life.
[re=209907]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I wanted this to preserved for posterity, before they “zap” you for being a “troll”. Nice one.
“shortsshortsshorts, on January 6th, 2009 at 1:03 pm Said:
I don’t get that Wonkette place. The editors keep e-mailing me for money, so they are obviously not doing very well. I don’t usually comment on issues on this website, because I don’t think I have the ability to conjure the intellectual superiority that you all subscribe too. I prefer Daily Kos, because it is like a dumbed down version of everything else. Where did the editor of this website get their notoriety from anyway? It couldn’t have been Daily Kos, right?”
[re=210012]yellowdogdem[/re]: “You need scrotum recognition software”
Sure, but like all mouths, it’ll just be a nuisance when it’s not otherwise occupied recognizing scrotums.
[re=209975]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: you tell ‘em.
[re=210002]yellowdogdem[/re]:
Ack, no mission statement, please. The next thing you know, we’d be drafting an annual operating plan and results based performance measures.
[re=209822]Barrett808[/re]: “Plump Ugly Mature Amateurs” would’ve been my guess. Which would probably be the worst porn site ever. Maybe if you added “Hairy” (PHUMA?) it could get worse.
I’m ashamed to report that after reading that post this morning, I had to go log on to my local library’s computer to go to the Weblog Awards and vote for The Confluence. I now officially love them.
[re=209975]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: The first time I had the temerity to post, it was during the Repub convention and I said that I felt sorry for Bristol, the slutty one, because she had to dress like she was Amish to fake being a virgin.
Someone said something to me that included a four-letter word that starts with C that I’m far too old to use (or work it in as brilliantly as Mitch Hurwitz on Arrested Development) and other nasty things–beginning with “you.” It scared me away for two weeks. I’ve always wondered if it was some kind of wonkette fraternity prank designed to test whether the initiates virtual skin was thick enough to survive the wonkette world.
Or, maybe the guy was just big a big, roaring asshole.
[re=210038]Mr Blifil[/re]: Aparently you can abslove your sins with “Massengill douche,” I think I read that somewhere earlier today.
[re=210049]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Both
[re=210035]Terry[/re]: OMG, you’re right. Sorry!!
I’m a perimenopausal woman! What will happen to me in this Brave New World of which the PUMAs speak?
Who cares? It was worth it for the link to the crazy-ass cake blog.
Feh, Conflatulence won’t publish my posts. Afraid much, oh mighty censors? Strap on your strap-on of censorship and feel the power!
Wonkette never censored me, except that one comment about Newell’s back hair.
I’m trying to imagine the sort of revolution the PUMAs could inspire that would make saggy boobs/scrotums lose their comedy gold. Cuz God help us if they’re not funny, none of us have anything to look forward to in old age.
Why does PUMA hate old people?
[re=210002]yellowdogdem[/re]: I agree. Plus, we genuflect to Truck Nutz.
[re=209904]Mista Eko[/re]: Punt UnAmerican Muslim Arabs?
[re=210038]Mr Blifil[/re]:
I think we should all vote for Michelle Malkin as the best conservative blog.
[re=210028]CollegeStudent[/re]: The fuckers already zapped it, but I think you’re doing quite well in there, so there is that.
What if PUMA, Paultards, and LNS had blog-tastic threesome?
Things I ponder when I’m bored at work.
[re=210193]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I know, weird right? They love Chapelle but hate Obama, I don’t get it.
[re=210203]Schadenfried[/re]: The conception of Dick Cheney?
[re=210049]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Probably a big roaring asshole named Kev-O-Tron. You pass the sniff test. You’re shit’s all good Dusty.
[re=209742]Serolf Divad[/re]: Oh well, see, my scrotum is so saggy that happens at room temperature.
Get me into a sauna, and you can’t walk in for tripping over my ballsack.
I scanned it…something about perky scrotums and women wanting stimulation from some adolescent male’s package or another.
[re=210049]DustBowlBlues[/re]: We still haven’t paddled you, pledge.
My first post was an LCD Soundsystem reference in response to another LCD Soundsystem reference about Bill Richardson. “Our” Wonkette is a strange thing.
[re=210224]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: My family will be so proud when I give them the news.
I wouldn’t post on Cuntflatulence with JJ Walker’s cock.
“Make them insignificant” has a very sinister ring to it. This poster is not only evil and genocidal but has obviously never come within 10 miles of a scrotum.
[re=210249]Keram2[/re]: That paddle reference caused me to pause and say, Hmmmm, in a bemused tone.
The PUMA’s have a twisted version of the old Descartes “I think . . .therefore…”
Theirs is the same as the proud claim of trolls, “We annoy, therefore we are relevant.” Maybe that psyche case who thinks she should be the senator from NY is TrueChristian, sent from pumaflatulent world to infiltrate wonkette. Now I get it–that’s how they know we’re idiots.
From The Enemy’s Blog:
“The NY Times asked this question yesterday, or so I’ve heard.
I’ll tell you what we’re not. We are not the kind of people who are concerned with whether our vaginas are as fresh and sweet as a Massengill douche.”
I thought I was Beyond Nausea.
I was wrong.
[re=210298]Neilist[/re]: Ugh. Eww. Conflatulence indeed.
I met my wife when she was 23. Now’s she’s 36 and more perky (you know where) and fresh (further down) than when we met. So these PUMAs are doin’ it wrong.
A bunch of fat bitter old women telling themselves that being fat bitter old women is OK. The Cold War Makes Me Hot said it best — PUMAs are FUPAs in disguise.
[re=209778]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Kev-O-Tron–me too! I started posting comments on the Confluence way back in May, trying to reason with them, explain Our Barry’s side of the story. You know what? They used my comments as evidence of a “Stages of Denial” graph, saying I was in the early stages of coming to terms with Hilary’s nomination. According to their 5 Stages, Stage # 5 is “January 20, 2009: Hillary Clinton is inaugurated as the 44th President of the United States of America.”
It’s all right here:
http://riverdaughter.wordpress.com/2008/05/21/stages-of-death-the-obama-campaign/
I’ve been trying to turn Wonkette onto these womynz for months now. Wonkette vs. Confluence war = very happy N8Ma.
PUMA=Epic FAIL
Meanwhile in Happy PUMA News:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28518932/
[re=209817]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: I’m just hoping that mine don’t ever sag past my scrotum.
Being a cougar myself (isn’t that the same thing as a puma, kind of?), I tried to post on their site. They will not allow it! I do not agree with them enough. Sniffle!
Secretly, though, they love having enemies to ban. I can only imagine the frisson of delight felt from preventing this “lapdog” person from speaking out of line. I didn’t think I would enjoy the discipline as much as I did! Kinky.
[re=210322]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: Wow, that’s a new spin on “the Bobbitt treatment”.
PUMA: Post Uber Menopausal Agonizer
They are over there commenting on our comments as we speak. This is funny. Ballsack ballsack ballsack! Do I sound like a frat boy, PUMAs? Oops, sorry, I’m a 29 year old woman with a MS in Biology. Who happens to enjoy laughing at the word ballsack.
Mon Dieu, I just checked out that Conflu site — it’s frickin’ unusable, what with all the rollover pop-ups. I wanted to dash my mouse to bits against the screen after about 10 seconds.
oh honey, if you think you can escape saggy tits by being male, you’re sorely mistaken.
I’m 47,and have a bit of a beer belly but no man boobs, so no sagging, and strangers are always complimenting me on the perkiness of my scrotum.
Holy Shit, I just spent a few minutes over in PUMA land. I made it out with all my male bits still in tact but it was close. Its nice to see that whole lot of angry, delusional, victims have a place to share their bitter.
[re=210193]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Shit they’ve even made it their own post.
http://riverdaughter.wordpress.com/2009/01/06/restoring-perky-tautness/
Okay, I think I have now heard enough elaborate descriptions of the appearance, texture and behavior of scrota to last me the rest of my natural life. Wrap it up, guys. So to speak.
[re=211000]HuddledMass[/re]: “enough elaborate descriptions of the appearance, texture and behavior of scrota to last me the rest of my natural life” Pricks Up My Ass.
We’ve figured out how you and rumproast have been cheating. We know It’s not through a proxy server. It should be easy to demonstrate how it is done with a script of the procedure. Our resident perl hacker is pulling it together. Of course, we would only be doing this for documentation and informational purposes, not cheating, and we’ll send the information to the proper people when we’re finished gathering our information. We hope the Weblog Award admins will keep a close eye on this problem. Hey, if it were me, I’d disqualify you silly boiz, but it’s not my decision. Cheaters ruin the fun for everyone by gaming the system and harrassing blogs like us. It’s not a good way to be popular. Oh Yeah, stay tuned for the pig of the day…
Comments on this entry are closed.