• February 13, 2012
  • OBAMA’S FIRST VICTIMS? Prehistoric klansman Robert Byrd and/or Liberal Lion Ted Kennedy collapsed during the Congressional Lunch with the new president! Yikes. The lunch goes on. Be careful in there, everybody. UPDATE: Both of them! UPDATE II: No, just Teddy. [Politico]

{ 48 comments }

PolicyWhore January 20, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Oh, missed it! Damn MSNBC.

lumpenprole January 20, 2009 at 2:50 pm

It is going to be weird to see the Young Obama deal with the gerontocracy on the hill. It’s a shame Strom didn’t linger long enough to see this day.

PolicyWhore January 20, 2009 at 2:52 pm

Poor Teddy.

katrina January 20, 2009 at 2:52 pm

It’s the Lion.

Purple Tide January 20, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Oh no. Teddy’s had a medical emergency. Damn, I’m not gonna lie: I was hoping it was the hooded Byrd.

badco/LoJ January 20, 2009 at 2:54 pm

Fuck.

actor212 January 20, 2009 at 2:54 pm

Not Ted Kennedy! Not today of ALL days!

AnnieGetYourFun January 20, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Not-so-instant-karma gonna getcha.

Mr Blifil January 20, 2009 at 2:55 pm

They should have converted to Islam while they had the chance.

hobospacejungle January 20, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Hopey just spoke about TK at the luncheon, saying he is not so happy now with this bad news. Seeing TK earlier on TV he didn’t look well, like he wasn’t all there. So sad.

Purple Tide January 20, 2009 at 2:56 pm

I was hoping it was Dick Cheney, that he had been wheeled back by mistake and that his baboon heart had burst like an overcooked vienna sausage at all the HopeĀ® and Changeā„¢.

PolicyWhore January 20, 2009 at 2:56 pm

He had a seizure! Damn!

Capt. Renault January 20, 2009 at 2:56 pm

No es bueno.

AnnieGetYourFun January 20, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Oh, stupid. It wasn’t Byrd? DAMN. Not that I wish anyone ill, except I do.

WagTehGod January 20, 2009 at 2:59 pm

I’m sure someone at Freep will have a theory about this within, oh, 15 minutes ago.

AnnieGetYourFun January 20, 2009 at 2:59 pm

Jesus, what? Are they just falling on top of each other? Can someone drop a piano on Burris while in the ensuing chaos?

wildeoats January 20, 2009 at 2:59 pm

Geez, if something bad were going to have to happen to an old guy in a wheelchair, why couldn’t it be Cheney?

actor212 January 20, 2009 at 3:00 pm

[re=223692]Mr Blifil[/re]: Win!

katrina January 20, 2009 at 3:02 pm

Holy crap, Byrd did have some trouble, too.

PolicyWhore January 20, 2009 at 3:02 pm

Byrd and Teddy! Attention whores much. You’re ruining the wedding!

Purple Tide January 20, 2009 at 3:03 pm

Damn, Matthews just dropped the Chappaquidick bomb. Stay classy, Matthews. Funny, though, it was just what I was thinking.

“Bobby Byrd is quite old and probably should have retired a couple years ago. I can’t say enough good about Ted Kennedy as a senator. I wish him well. I wish them both well.” Oh Tweety bird, you are the master of backhanded complimentary reportage.

WagTehGod January 20, 2009 at 3:03 pm

Wikipedia predicting the future … or are they??????:

“Kennedy suffered a seizure at a luncheon following the Barack Obama Presidential inauguration on January 20, 2009. He was removed in a wheelchair, and died shortly after.”

PoliticalGraffiti January 20, 2009 at 3:04 pm

[re=223696]Purple Tide[/re]: yum.

Min January 20, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Yikes, a twofer. Obama must learn to use his powers for good.

texette January 20, 2009 at 3:07 pm

Oh no- there is Coryn!

He thinks it is a terrible tradegy about Byrd. Screw Kennedy.

sevenrepeat January 20, 2009 at 3:09 pm

what attention whores. they just couldn’t let obama have his day, could they….

Colander January 20, 2009 at 3:09 pm

[re=223726]Min[/re]: Professor Xavier warned him he had to gain control of his Hope, or he would hurt those he cared for/former Klan members, but Obama swore up and down he was ready. How was he to know??

Joe the Truck Nutz January 20, 2009 at 3:10 pm

Byrd collapsed after trying to pull the white cloth off the table so he could put a scare into Obama by wearing it around the hall.

blader January 20, 2009 at 3:12 pm

They tried to warn us of Hussein’s evilness. We just didn’t want to listen

pepe January 20, 2009 at 3:12 pm

I think Chris Matthews is having a seizure on air with his pointless rambling

Scarab January 20, 2009 at 3:12 pm

Damn, those dinner plates were meant for Hatch and Cornyn!

Purple Tide January 20, 2009 at 3:13 pm

Somehow, some way, I blame droopy dog Lieberman. His rat stink probably overpowered frail Sens. Kennedy & Byrd. For shame, Ind. (CT).

WIDTAP January 20, 2009 at 3:14 pm

Obama’s new plan to solve the Social Security crisis: bump off everyone over 80 at the luncheon. For dinner he is solving the energy crisis by siphoning the gas out of the cars of each Member of Congress.

Scarab January 20, 2009 at 3:14 pm

Dana Bash = Jar Jar Binks
But somehow alluring.

Min January 20, 2009 at 3:15 pm

[re=223732]Colander[/re]: He must eventually acknowledge that, with great Hope, comes great responsibility.

Purple Tide January 20, 2009 at 3:15 pm

Don’t eat the pheasant! The taste is unpleasant!

Damn, that poetry lady was right.

Texan Bulldoggette January 20, 2009 at 3:15 pm

Maybe Barry is just trying to get more black guys appointed to the Senate. He probably feels pretty bummed that Roland Burris is the only other brother he has to talk to.

One Yield Regular January 20, 2009 at 3:15 pm

oh Ted Kennedy we love you get up.

Lascauxcaveman January 20, 2009 at 3:16 pm

[re=223708]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: LOL @ U. Klassy!

Dire squirrel January 20, 2009 at 3:17 pm

Byrd seems to be fine (he didn’t collapse) and Hatch says that Kennedy was conscious when they took him to the ambulance. No snark, the tumor might be back.

Scarab January 20, 2009 at 3:17 pm

“Attention, the brown acid that is circulating is not good.”

Purple Tide January 20, 2009 at 3:19 pm

Who decided that Death by Chocolate was a good idea for dessert?? Sorry, bad taste. But someone had to say it.

Lascauxcaveman January 20, 2009 at 3:21 pm

[re=223744]Scarab[/re]: I’m sure she’s a fine person, swell reporter, real pro, but ugh! She looks like the result of an unholy coupling by John Kerry and Ann Coulter.

Capt. Renault January 20, 2009 at 3:22 pm

[re=223720]WagTehGod[/re]: They’ve since upgraded his condition to ‘undetermined’. Which is — good?

ella January 20, 2009 at 3:27 pm

[re=223740]pepe[/re]: Chris Matthews never knows when to shut up. Somebody needs to tell him it’s not always about him.

DoctorCulturae January 20, 2009 at 3:28 pm

It’s very cold, lots of excitement, AND eating at a public event is a dangerous mixture for elderly people much less those who are ailing or have cancer.

My secret wish: Teddy and Byrd didn’t want Dick Darth Deadeye’s wheelchair show to go unanswered. As in, “You ‘pulled’ a muscle? Up yours asshat.”

Cape Clod January 20, 2009 at 3:34 pm

“I haven’t seen anything like this since that Anita Bryant Concert”

Delicious January 20, 2009 at 3:34 pm

Robert Byrd?

Ohhh whyyy do the good die young?!

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