- NAME YOUR FAVORITE PORTION OF THE HOUSE STIMULUS BILL GUTTED IN THE SENATE VERSION: It’s easy with this handy graph from ProPublica, helpfully coded in Christmasy red and green! Our favorite part: the 21 billion dollars of “school construction and technology” projects that vanished between the House and the Senate votes. Senators know that, in our exciting new American future, kids won’t have to go to schools; they’ll all be beggars and chimbley sweeps. [ProPublica]
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One of my friends just graduated to become a teacher. Looks like he’ll be enjoying his stimulus at Walmart like rest of us (I’ll actually be at the bar, but you know what I mean).
Nothing for porn? Or alienated bloggers?
Clearly, I need to be a govt contractor who spcializes in the “Other” business,’cuz that’s where the real money is!!!!
So if COBRA benefits are cut and Medicaid for the unemployed is eliminated, explain to me again how this bill is helping the unemployed.
chimbley
[re=240033]Rush[/re]: Did you notice the extra one billion for “broadband”? That’s nothing if not a porn subsidy, and something all Americans can get behind.
Schools are overrated anyway. Oliver Twist didn’t need no school to go to and he got a whole novel written about him.
The world needs ditch diggers too.
Fucking Senate. Who needs relief for low-income families or state governments, right? We should instead just cut taxes! And throw a $9.1 billion handout to Big Pharma! That’s change we can believe in!
$21 billion for chimps throwing feces?
Why all the focus on the negative? Why can’t you celebrate the positive additions the Senate put in, like $4.6 billion in support for oil and coal “research” that wasn’t there before?
Sweet! $6.5 billion slashed from electrical grid. I can wait for some shit head making over $500k per year to enjoy some of that $117 billion added to individual tax cuts while my grandmother plays a rousing game of Death by Heat Stroke in Rolling Blackouts!!!
Way ahead of you. Started homeschooling the kids so they will have a head start in our future where we are all disgruntled bloggers.
Oh but my favorites, as you ask, are the cuts from science and law enforcement programs. We don’t need these guys walking around during a depression, you guys.
Don’t worry US America about the lack of skienze and math. Just copy from the Asian (brown and yellow) folks skienze and mathematical papers.
[re=240038]jagorev[/re]:
I get a lot of behind that way.
They increased funding for Corpse of Engineers — they will need to prop up dead engineers when our schools cease creating new ones.
[re=240047]Sussemilch[/re]:
Let me know if you need help teaching the course “Cynically Detached” – I got an “A” in that.
I like the part about energy spending where they created a new allowance for “Fossil Energy Research” at 4.6 Billion, while the allowance for “Renewable Energy Research” totals only 2.6 Billion. Well, I guess once the gas and oil is finally tapped dry, we will have perfected a method of running cars on… Trilobites and ferns?
[re=240047]Sussemilch[/re]: Disgruntled blogging is just another name for “literacy enhancement.” These Republicans know that to properly panhandle proper spelling on our cardboard signs is crucial to our survival. Ain’t no one gonna give cash out to a hobo who can’t spell. They’d just spend the money on Thunderbird and loose women.
Schoolkids don’t need no stinkin’ technology.
oh probably just the parts that actually might have helped stave off the next depression.
By the way, interesting piece from Brookings which pretty much agrees with Obama’s top priorities:
“The nation’s economic crisis requires attention to the principal drivers of prosperity—infrastructure, human capital and innovation. If leveraged and deployed strategically, these assets can help us achieve short-term job gains, keep pace with the increasing size and diversity of America’s population and move our nation toward durable prosperity…”
http://www.brookings.edu/papers/2009/0112_prosperity_memo.aspx
Well, this is WONKette, right? RIGHT?!
Over one hundred seventeen BILLION in new tax cuts to individuals? Well it sounds like my share of that will completely eliminate my income taxes! Haha, of course that’s not where those tax cuts go at all! I may get $20 back, if I’m lucky.
Also, so stimulating to cut taxes NOW, when the tax code for this year’s refunds is already published, so any changes won’t take effect until NEXT YEAR. I sure will save the economy in the short term with that larger refund I get in the mail in May 2010.
Solid waste disposal is up $1.4 billion in the Senate. Thank you, David Vitter, for speaking out.
[re=240055]Deepthroat[/re]: yeah, what the FUCK do we need to research in that arena? How’s this: we are going to run out, it makes the air and water foul. Ok, done. Now, let’s research other means of fueling our enegry-hog country, maybe?
As a essentially out of work biomedical researched I am feeling about 10X more stimulated than before. Although 10X a very small amount is still pretty small…
Dang.
[re=240065]WadISay[/re]: I don’t see where they slashed funding for airport restroom security. Larry Craig got shafted and not in the good way.
Looks like Ronald Reagan got his dick-skinners on that bill revision. McPOW, you need to fuckin’ go away! *slurp*
Census $1,000,000,000
Are they giving a billion dollars to ACORN to count Mickey Mouse people?!
[re=240041]MARCdMan[/re]: i saw a comment the other day ? if there’d be training for ditch diggers in this. I think if you need training, you won’t qualify for teh job.
Hey, $700,000,000 more for NASA. Maybe they’re going to send all the unemployed cripples and uneducated whelps to Mars.
That bill needs a big veto. Let’s get rid of money for pandemic prevention! And clean drinking water!
When things go down, I’m hunting Republicans. For fertilizer, not food. Too greasy to eat.
With Exxon enjoying a $45B profit, why don’t they pay for fossil energy research? Summina-bastages!
[re=240070]shanemacgowan[/re]:
That’s on top of the $4 billion Obama already gave them.
[re=240074]Servo[/re]:
I once watched a debate where Wm. F. Buckley Jr. was asked why the top 1% of income earners needed yet another tax cut. His reply was (and try to imagine this spoken in Buckley’s pretentious New England prep school drawl): “You know that they say; every little bit helps.”
[re=240064]Godot[/re]: Do you want the real reason this particular tax cut is stimulative or just snark? The real reason, as explained in the New Yorker, is that the amount is reduced from paycheck withholding over a period of one or two years. So you get it right away, and it doesn’t seem like a big chunk of money, but instead like a raise, so you are more likely to spend it.
Also stimulus in my pants. There is nothing to be done.
So the Senate’s increasing health insurance aid by $2.27 billion and at the same time cutting COBRA by $10 billion and Medicaid for the unemployed by $8.6 billion? So everyone can have health care except for the poor and unemployed, I guess — ’cause that category that’s increased is probably going to boats for healthcare executives.
Does the Senate have to go through another cloture vote after this comes out of the reconciliation committee, or will 50 votes do the trick next time?
Cutting all the funding for desease control and prevention. Sweet.
-$4 million for hunger programs.
+$4 million for fossil fuel research.
“Let them eat cake.”
Us here in the not-for-profit family planning sector (an agency which I’m not allowed to mention) were raped early and hard in the house before the bill even reached the senate. Our favorite was the $200 million cut for “contraception” also known as the Medicaid Family Planning State Option, which would have extended medicaid for family planning services only to those who fall above the federal poverty multiplier and don’t have private insurance.
I’m tired of arguing with people about the relativity of stimulative effects of different pieces of the package. I don’t think it’s a great leap to suggest that lowering the birthrate in lower income women allows more to enter the workforce and reduces burdens on state and federal medicaid and welfare budgets.
We’re holding our collective breath for the $335 “STD Education” provision that’s still in the bill, money which certainly creates a number of jobs (educators are the vast majority of expense in education, whoda thunk!), but we’re not optimistic.
[re=240088]twowheeljunkie[/re]:
Billion.
Mad Farmer Manifest: Yes they are pretty greasy, but if you render the fat first and then slow cook them, they can be mighty tasty!
Let’s put it all together — slashing funds for COBRA, Medicaid for the unemployed, state Medicaid funds, hunger programs and housing AND disease control and prevention — see, some of the Republicans DO believe in natural selection after all.
I hope the stimulus money comes soon, I lost my job Friday. I don’t have a computer at home, so I can’t post here, but I will be reading everyday from my mobile so stay funny, biatches. See you when I am employed again. I hope.
DollarStorePregnancyTest:
I think that people should have to apply for a permit to reproduce. I also think the Octo-bitch who just had a litter of babies and yet already has six, no job, and lives with her poor mother, should be shot. So yes, i agree that lowering the birth rate would be a good thing.
Although, as things get worse, we may find that Jonathan Swift was actually some sort of prophet
problemwithcaring: NOOOOOO!!! Just remember; they can take your job, but they can never take your snark!
[re=240080]Come here a minute[/re]: Oh, so my $20 share of that tax cut will be spread out over 26 paychecks instead of getting it all at once. Swell.
If disgruntled is a word then why isn’t gruntled used more often?
“The passage of the stimulus bill left many Democtrats and adminstration officials feeling gruntled.”
In my mind, I think that Obama should make a signing statement saying that he is not satisfied with how the money is being appropriated and will reserve the right to distribute it as he sees fit.
4.1 billion from hunger programs!@ Because why the fuck would a senator from Nebraska want people to buy more food? Oh, wait a second…
Dumbass.
Did they manage to take the money out of enforcement of the Violence against Women act? I think that was may “favorite” part of Snowe’s and Collins’s attempts to slash the stimulus.
Where are the live blogs? Lazy day?
[re=240095]Deepthroat[/re]: There was a segment on talk of the nation with a fertility doc about ethical obligation in fertility treatment programs that broached the topic of selective abortion in multiple pregnancies as a result of fertility treatment; the discussion essentially came around to whether or not fertility docs should strongly suggest to patients to reduce the number of fetuses in multiple pregnancies, especially when financial strain is a concern.
Between you and me, I agree. I think fertility programs are dumber than a pile of rocks, what with all the homeless street babies in third world countries (and you’re not allowed to quote me on that). I lean toward population control, but struggle with the issue of squelched autonomy in the right to reproduce. I say we nip the problem in the bud, and require pediatricians to install chastity belts that require you to pass a sexual aptitude test before its removal.
t-shirt idea: “I lost my job and my house was foreclosed, and all i got were these lousy tax-cuts!”
hahahahaaha….oh mccain, your existence is killing me softly.
Top 10 Things That Should Have Been in the Stim: (Add your own)
http://tinyurl.com/btg4vp
[re=240045]Crapola[/re]: The electrical grid goes beyond your grandma freezing, also. It’s generally acknowledged that our current energy grid couldn’t handle a fleet of electric cars and that updating it will take years. But of course, we don’t want our auto industry to create an ENTIRE new fleet of vehicles with new technology and have to sell these to customers. Nor do we want to employ legions of engineers to update our weak-ass electricity grid in the near term. Neither of those would be “true stimulus” because nobody gets a tax cut.
[re=240094]problemwithcaring[/re]: Today we are all unemployed wonkette hobos. I will most likely see you in the breadline sometime this month. Save my spot and I’ll share my beans with you.
[re=240088]twowheeljunkie[/re]: Billion. I meant Billion.
[re=240126]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Beans AND bread? It’s that kind of wasteful consumer spending that got us into this mess in the first place. For shame!
[re=240041]MARCdMan[/re]: Win.
Living in a state that’s pretty close to going bankrupt (California) and knowing that a few other states are about to go down too, my sincerest wish is for Nebraska and Maine to be two of the first states to go under. But not Pennsylvania– my mom lives there.
The best part is the slashing of science funding. Because what if someone made a giant unstoppable killer robot that slaughtered over half the country, thus decimating our tax base? We’d be in trouble then. And who would be most likely to build a giant unstoppable killer robot? A scientist, that’s who. So science must be stopped.
Of course, I guess an engineer could do that, too, but we’re funding engineers, which I oppose for the aforementioned reason.
Hooray For Anything: I live there too, so now you have two reasons to pray for Pennsyltucky!
[re=240122]Internally valid[/re]: Nothing brings people together like a massive grid failure. I mean, look at the feel good stories out of the Northeast a few years ago when they had that massive blackout. Average citizens were stepping up and helping to direct traffic. This, obviously works well with the $28 billion reduction in local and state tax cuts because we will soon have a nation of cross-trained hobo crime fighters.
I’m starting to think the Republicans are evil geniuses.
[re=240095]Deepthroat[/re]:
That’s just half of the problem. We also need to let old people die rather than paying millions of dollars for a few years of droolitude.
[re=240041]MARCdMan[/re]: And space rangers:
NASA $600,000,000 $1,300,000,000 ▲$700,000,000
WTF?
To the moon, Alice.
And… the markets are down 3.75%. Thanks Senate!
[re=240088]twowheeljunkie[/re]: Cake? My guess would be Soylent Green. What else ya gonna do with all those pesky hungry people mobbing about the fancy new “Fossil Energy Research” factories?
[re=240063]Deepthroat[/re]: Get real. Brookings is full of smart people. No one cares about them because the Repugs are going to make such creatures extinct in the Brave New World.
[re=240094]problemwithcaring[/re]: I’m so sorry. Your post wiped the smile right off my face.
Yeah, who needs health care, education, or stimulus for small businesses when you can have more nuclear weapons, fossil fuels, veteran’s cemeteries, and Homeland Security domestic surveillance?
Ah, socialism. War and surveillance are Republican-approved “good” socialism, because it’s for the nation. Not evil Democrat socialism, which rewards those good-for-nothing freeloading children with freebies like education, health care, reliable electricity, and a hot lunch.
[re=240115]PolicyWhore[/re]: There may come a time when all we have left are our computers, in a house empty of everything, (because we’ve sold it all), with an internet connection and a gun to hold off the flesh-eating zombies. Wonkette will have to become a 24/7 liveblog event with a non-ending thread called “suicide watch” where we all go to be talked down.
Say it loud and say it proud: Let the fucking Repugs have their fucking filibuster. Go for it. Supposedly, this time they weren’t going to let the Rs kick them around the senate because we won. They’ve taken out what the liberals wanted–they’re pissed and the Republicans still only have 3 votes to add. The aptly named Sen. Boxer said she was good on it–let them bring in the phonebooks and read them–have a real Mr. Smith moment. Do it once, and bi-partisanship might take on a whole new meaning.
BTW–I emailed my congressional delegation to tell them no tax cuts. I’m sure it made a big difference on the cretins Inhofe, Coburn and Lucas. (Ok’s 3rd. congressional. You’ve never heard of him because he’s nothing but an agri-biz whore).
On the other hand, if we spend too much on education, who will vote Republican?
Zero for Energy but 4.7 B for Homeland Security? If you reverse the equation why the fuck would we need Homeland Security?
If this doesn’t cause some good ol’ fashioned 10% annual inflation, nothing will.
[re=240334]bitchincamaro[/re]: Yeah, but it helps create jobs for the phone company so there will be more people who can listen in on our conversations. It’ll also create more jobs at airports because there’ll be more people to pat us down and look through our luggage.
[re=240158]Servo[/re]: agreed. Or at least let Dr. K do his thang.
The Senate’s most brilliant slash and burn idea yet: cutting out the entire budget ($850 million) for Wildfire mitigation.
According to the California Professional Firefighters, due to budget cutbacks the state of California is now considering using the “Stay and Defend” model whereby homeowners are responsible for protecting their homes from wildfires, i.e., instead of relying on highly trained state and federal forestry and wildfire professionals, we switch to a homeowner DIY model. This is the policy that has recently worked so well in Australia, resulting in a death toll from brush fires that have not been seen in the US since the nineteenth century.
In the “Stay and Defend” program the assumption is that millions of homeowners will: 1. be responsible for maintaining the proper growth management of all flammable plant growth on or near their property; 2. replace old building materials with new fire-retardant construction materials; and 3. keep large reserves of water.
Then, as the fires descend they will douse their property with water and stay home and wait for the raging inferno to arrive. As the blaze engulfs their neighborhood they will sit inside and hope that their house doesn’t catch fire and that they will miraculously survive the metal-melting heat and toxic fumes.
Australia: the current fires have burned ~80,000 acres and the death toll may reach 200.
VS.
California: “in 2008′s record-shattering lightning firestorm that charred more than 1 million acres, the civilian death toll was three — all individuals who stayed behind rather than heeding evacuation orders.”
We will need to rely on dental records to try to identify the money we saved by gutting that line from the stimulus bill.
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