• February 13, 2012
OUR FLOURISHING ECONOMY

by Ken Layne

1:26 pm February 10, 2009

We've got a lot of what it takes to get along!WE’RE SAVED (OR DOOMED)! The Senate just passed the Magical Economic Recovery Bailout Stimulus Act of 2009, 61-37, hooray for the economies! Uhh …. [AP/CSPAN]

{ 40 comments }

Bitter-Elitist February 10, 2009 at 1:26 pm

Huzzah for Socialism!

jagorev February 10, 2009 at 1:28 pm

Dow’s down 351 points. Time to BUY BUY BUY

SayItWithWookies February 10, 2009 at 1:31 pm

So after it gets out of the reconciliation committee, both houses have to vote on it again, right? Does there have to be a cloture motion in the Senate that next time, or can they just do 50 and out? I’m hoping for just a straight up-or-down vote so they can gut the Senate changes and make the Republicans cry like little girls.

Monsieur Grumpe February 10, 2009 at 1:31 pm

What is the weather like in Canada?

Red Zeppelin February 10, 2009 at 1:31 pm

I guess he really is Barack the Magic Negro. That’s pretty impressive results from a single pressie.

El Pinche February 10, 2009 at 1:31 pm

If this works, the next Obama book on audio: “Like I’ve always said, always bet on black, muthafucka.”

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 10, 2009 at 1:31 pm

[re=240196]jagorev[/re]: Don’t worry. Once the stimulus package’s provision that requires all traders to face Mecca and pray five times a day kicks in, the market will do much better.

rocktonsammy February 10, 2009 at 1:33 pm

Good, I need the $$$ to pay my taxes.

V572625694 February 10, 2009 at 1:33 pm

[re=240196]jagorev[/re]: The Efficient Fucking Market Hypothesis says that the potential gains from this are already priced in. But…ouch!

Fear of a Black Reagan February 10, 2009 at 1:33 pm

Oh good! Now Susan Collins is the Empress of ruining America!!!

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 10, 2009 at 1:35 pm

I, for one, look forward to the glorious workers paradise that comrade Obama is preparing for us. Especially if it comes with a snazzy aesthetic.

Mustang February 10, 2009 at 1:37 pm

[re=240196]jagorev[/re]: Can’t buy stocks with a can of hobo beans.

WagTehGod February 10, 2009 at 1:37 pm

Does this mean I can use dollar bills to stir my elitist lattes again? I’m tired of using hobo “stirring sticks.”

Hooray For Anything February 10, 2009 at 1:37 pm

I can haz job now?

Origami February 10, 2009 at 1:37 pm

THE ECONOMY IS SOLVED!

Iggy Plop February 10, 2009 at 1:39 pm

Magical Economic Recovery Bailout Stimulus Act? MERBSA? That’s a pretty sucky acronym. I recommend the Magical Economic Recovery Depression Eliminator.

Kev-O-Tron February 10, 2009 at 1:40 pm

SWEET! Where’s the unemployment line and how cheap are the flatscreens at Wal-Mart these days?

Rush February 10, 2009 at 1:42 pm

Does anyone remember the laughter??

tunamelt February 10, 2009 at 1:42 pm

Fun with fact sheets!

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 10, 2009 at 1:42 pm

But how is David Vitter taking this? I bet he needs his diaper changed.

jagorev February 10, 2009 at 1:43 pm

[re=240206]V572625694[/re]: I thought the Efficient Fucking Market Hypothesis dealt with how the rates charged by any given prostitute perfectly discounts for the cost of treating any venereal diseases you catch from them, such that any money you save by going to a cheaper prostitute is going to be spent on penicillin. So (as the University of Chicago economist would conclude) there is no point in trying to discriminate between the disease levels of different prostitutes or in wearing a condom.

Mustang February 10, 2009 at 1:43 pm

I work in public education, and I loved what Obama said about fixing our problems. He actually made sense. He said “Guess what folks. The answer is not to throw money at the problem. The answer is not to completely reform the system. The answer is somewhere in between.” God, that was refreshing to hear someone who understands! And who isn’t afraid to say, “Yknow what — yeah, there are bad teachers and bad schools and there are very messed up things that must be fixed, but part of what’s going to fix that is more money.

Lascauxcaveman February 10, 2009 at 1:44 pm

[re=240201]El Pinche[/re]: Haha! At the Indian casinos, they’re always telling em to put my $50 down on red.

bhosp February 10, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Magnificent Economic Creation and Correction Act.

tunamelt February 10, 2009 at 1:47 pm

[re=240228]Mustang[/re]: You know what will fix it? Telling kids that unless they fucking study they’re going to the new communist work camp and making lightbulbs.

bhosp February 10, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Damn. “Magnificent Economic Creative Correction Act” would have been cleaner.

Lascauxcaveman February 10, 2009 at 1:48 pm

[re=240222]tunamelt[/re]: Well, I, for one, read all 7 fascinating pages (not).

jagorev February 10, 2009 at 1:49 pm

[re=240240]bhosp[/re]: If only George Allen had won his Senate race and gone on to the Presidency he so richly deserved in 08, we could have had the Magnificent Asset Creation and Commerce Act

jagorev February 10, 2009 at 1:51 pm

[re=240238]tunamelt[/re]: Shhh! The Lightbulb Labor Camps are one of the ways in which Obama will “save or create” 4 million jobs, but don’t tell anyone right now.

bhosp February 10, 2009 at 1:55 pm

[re=240244]jagorev[/re]: Damn again. Yours is more subtle and shits all over George Allen again.

Mustang February 10, 2009 at 1:56 pm

[re=240238]tunamelt[/re]: To be effective, you’d have to follow through. And then you’d just have really lousy lightbulbs. What really happens is that those kids go into the service. Frowny face.

Hooray For Anything February 10, 2009 at 2:06 pm

[re=240247]jagorev[/re]: But at least since Obama’s in charge, they’ll be environmentally correct light bulbs. This is what he means when he talks about “green technology.”

V572625694 February 10, 2009 at 2:07 pm

[re=240227]jagorev[/re]: Sounds like we’ve been patronizing the same ladies. Do you have any unusual rashes or, uh…discharges?

jagorev February 10, 2009 at 2:09 pm

[re=240278]Hooray For Anything[/re]: CFLs are made of PEOPLE

[re=240281]V572625694[/re]: Like any respectable, Nobel-prize winning efficient markets theorist, I’ve never actually boinked anyone, but boy do I have theories about how it works!

Cape Clod February 10, 2009 at 2:18 pm

[re=240247]jagorev[/re]: Oh, so that’s what Michael Steele was talking about when he said the stimulus bill was going to create ‘work’ not ‘jobs’.

snideinplainsight February 10, 2009 at 2:23 pm

I would like to make a lightbulb.

tunamelt February 10, 2009 at 2:24 pm

[re=240286]jagorev[/re]: CFLs only come in one shade: hospital.

jagorev February 10, 2009 at 2:37 pm

[re=240300]Cape Clod[/re]: GREEN COLLAR JOBS MACHT FREI

arewethereyet February 10, 2009 at 3:38 pm

don’t know whether to cheer or cry …..barkeep another round!!!

Mitchbailey February 10, 2009 at 4:34 pm

We shouldn’t have to do this to the economy because of that Adam Smith invisible hand job thingy.

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