• February 13, 2012
WHOA HO HO!

by Jim Newell

2:29 pm February 10, 2009

OBAMA CALLS CRIST GAY IN PUBLIC: Con sarn it, only this morning we had decided we were sick of the old “Charlie Crist is gay” jokes, but then Barack Obama went ahead and delivered this line at their Fort Myers town hall meeting today: “Everybody needs to grab a hose, and that’s what Charlie Crist is doing right here today.” NSFW video at 23/6 “The Huffington Post Comedy Section.” [HuffPo]

{ 48 comments }

actor212 February 10, 2009 at 2:31 pm

Oh dear…was it a large hose or small hose? Or maybe Obama said “hoes” but he was misunderterperated?

Vanity Smurf February 10, 2009 at 2:31 pm

Poor Barry, having to let Charlie Crist molest him to get a little bipartisan support.

Monsieur Grumpe February 10, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Mr. Newell,
Alt text on the pix is like the prize in a box of Cracker Jacks, it’s always cheap, probably sucks, but you always look forward to finding it. That picture is just crying for debasement.

Monsieur Grumpe February 10, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Does he bathe in Tang?

shortsshortsshorts February 10, 2009 at 2:37 pm

HEYO. Crist just backed right into that one.

BobLoblawLawBlog February 10, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Did he just call Palin a hose beast? Cause we all know everything he says is about that Alaskan lipstick pig. And she is one.

Bypartizoa February 10, 2009 at 2:39 pm

And that hose is just about to squirt.

SayItWithWookies February 10, 2009 at 2:39 pm

We should all be glad to know this isn’t going to be a bottomless recession.

jagorev February 10, 2009 at 2:40 pm

[re=240322]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: We’re in a RECESSION, goddamnit, so Wonkette is cutting back on frivolous corporate luxuries like “Washington Wizards box seats” and “alt-text”.

Fivetree February 10, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Crist is so bipartisan he will grab anything to stimulate the economies.

queeraselvis v 2.0 February 10, 2009 at 2:43 pm

[re=240330]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Win. Obama has finally found a bottom!

Vanity Smurf February 10, 2009 at 2:43 pm

[re=240325]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: It’s a special mixture of Tang, Channel No. 5, and Anita Bryant’s tears.

Cape Clod February 10, 2009 at 2:45 pm

That’s a bit unfair. It isn’t the grabbing of a hose that makes you gay, it’s whose hose that you’re grabbing.

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 10, 2009 at 2:46 pm

Once again, we have a black man intimidating a poor Republican white man into a homosexual act in Florida.

When will we ever learn?

Vanity Smurf February 10, 2009 at 2:47 pm

[re=240330]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yes, but what this recession seems to be looking for is a power bottom.

El Pinche February 10, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Charlie Crist is gay???? But he has a wife and also he’s a Republican! No. Way. Al.So.

Doglessliberal February 10, 2009 at 2:48 pm

that looks like Harry Shearer!

http://z.about.com/d/movies/1/0/H/_/O/bafta0718.jpg

FMA February 10, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Huffington Post has a “comedy” section? Is that what that is?

norbizness February 10, 2009 at 2:48 pm

He and fellow seasonal Floridian Alex Rodriguez (picture from the video interview yesterday) should commence ta breedin’ the next generation of Oompa-Loompas.

Vanity Smurf February 10, 2009 at 2:50 pm

[re=240341]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: It’s an inevitability in our nation’s only (flacid) penis-shaped state. When you say “Florida,” you say “cock.”

nmmagayar February 10, 2009 at 2:50 pm

I’m trying for something with Crist and massage, but have bupkis

norbizness February 10, 2009 at 2:52 pm

Huffington’s comedy section basically involves 12-minute audio tracks of Arianna Huffington doing her famous Zsa Zsa Gabor impersonation, for which she does not have to alter her voice. Also, a few stories of how she and her gay Californian husband (which explains her insight into Crist) used to sleep in beds in different zip codes.

nmmagayar February 10, 2009 at 2:53 pm

[re=240348]Vanity Smurf[/re]: [re=240348]Vanity Smurf[/re]: andf the translation, iirc, is land of flowers – muy gay

livy February 10, 2009 at 2:54 pm

Barry’s right. Our country would be a lot better off right now if everybody would just grab a hose.

Min February 10, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Well, at least Barry didn’t say anything about straddling the hose. Because, you know.

Servo February 10, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Now with the cock-cleaning power of orange!

Portugal (The Man) February 10, 2009 at 3:00 pm

Jesussss Crisssst

Baseproduct February 10, 2009 at 3:07 pm

[re=240350]norbizness[/re]: I’m straight, and I can say with certainty that would be my preference if we were married.

bitchincamaro February 10, 2009 at 3:10 pm

Filthy hose jackel!

Mustang February 10, 2009 at 3:10 pm

Grab your hose and drop your socks! It’s time for a bipartisan stimulus party in the round!

Josh Fruhlinger February 10, 2009 at 3:14 pm

“Charlie Crist is orange” jokes will never get old, though, right?

AllHat February 10, 2009 at 3:15 pm

What’s Denby going to say, now that the Prez is getting snarky?

Mild Midwesterner February 10, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Florida is kind of shaped like a giant… um… hose.

TGY February 10, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Sometimes a bag of dicks is not unwelcome is all I’m sayin’.

mylesfromnowhere February 10, 2009 at 3:23 pm

[re=240369]Baseproduct[/re]: I’d go with dif zip AND time zones cause I think you could still hear her in the same zip.

friendlynerd February 10, 2009 at 3:27 pm

I thought we were supposed to be grabbing our ankles! I’m so confused.

frumious_bandersnatch February 10, 2009 at 4:11 pm

I’m confident that the only reason Charlie Crist attended this event was in the sekrit sexy hope that Mr. President would humiliate him. I’m glad to see that Gov. Crist will have bountiful whack-off fodder for the next year or so.

jamietre February 10, 2009 at 4:12 pm

Jesus, Crist is gay.

Red Zeppelin February 10, 2009 at 5:30 pm

Naw, he’s talking about a fireman’s hose. Oh, wait, what?

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 10, 2009 at 5:54 pm

[re=240348]Vanity Smurf[/re]: [re=240388]Mild Midwesterner[/re]: ” Florida? But that’s America’s wang!” –Homer Simpson.

And I would like to point out a theory I’ve heard that at some point all human events can be expressed in Simpsons’ quotes.

Vanity Smurf February 10, 2009 at 7:04 pm

[re=240613]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Simpsonian Human Inclusivity Theory? Exxx-cellent.

S. Cullen Bonz February 10, 2009 at 7:04 pm

Since Obama is hetero, I guess that would make him the AntiCrist. Those wackos had it right all along…

Mr. Spanky February 10, 2009 at 7:27 pm

Charli saw those pictures of buff Barry on his Hawaiian vacation and just could not restrain himself!

He had to join Barry on the bully pulpit in hopes that Barry has a secret desire to go “down low”.

MGBYG February 10, 2009 at 8:00 pm

Wait.

If FLA is our national penis, Key West is pre-cum and Cuba is the sample on the blue dress?

Does that make the AL/MS/LA coastline the taint and Houston, TX the asshole?

I have been overseas for a while…

norbizness February 10, 2009 at 8:02 pm

[re=240613]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I’ve toyed with the idea myself; it’s amazing what you can get out of the first 200 episodes or so of the series before it turned to shit.

MegsOfMegs February 10, 2009 at 8:16 pm

Crispy Crist.

AxmxZ February 10, 2009 at 8:45 pm

[re=240613]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Jon Stewart: “For the purposes of this picture, Florida is America’s hand.”

PineyWoodster February 11, 2009 at 8:11 am

[re=240379]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]:

Do “Mary Worth is a meddling old biddy jokes ever get old?” Some things are classic.

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