Wonkette Operative “Matt N.” has truly witnessed horror, in the supposed new socialist caliphate of the District of Communism: Real truck nutz, hanging off a goddamned trailer hitch, as intended by the manufacturer.
He writes: “This is the first time I’ve witnessed the truck nutz phenomena outside of rural Pennsylvania, where every vehicle over 15,000 lbs is required to hang nutz off its rear bumper, by law.”
It’s probably Conrad Burns, plotting his revenge, yet unable to remember how to get to the Capitol.
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Does the driver know that he’s gay?
Weird! Pennsylvania is where I have seen the damn things too!
I am always amazed at how pissed the driver gets when you try to take a picture of his truck nutz… Like they ended up on his truck accidently and he can’t figure out how to get rid of them…
and they appear to be Caucasian TruckNutz as a clear repudiation of the Muslin/Kenyan/Dirty Hawaiian usurper. Also and additionally.
Change has finally come to America!
I just went into Downtown Seattle and took pictures of some wingnuts protesting the bailout. I’ll blog about it later. There was all manner of winger mentality present but, alas, not truck nutz.
Tidewater VA here. If I leave the house at the wrong damned time, I get to ride halfway to work behind a blue truck with brass ones. I’ve seen silver, pink, and red/white/and blue. Never just blue, though. Hmm.
Can’t a guy take his TruckNutz to church without the fucking papparazzi stalking his ass?
i think it’s important to note they are so large, they cast a shadow
That pair looks weirdly elongated….
I’m still waiting to make my fortune selling Prius Nutz.
Also, I’m in seattle but employed so no wingnut fail rally for me. I haz a sad.
Truck Nutz are the new naked girl mud flap. It’s what all wanna-be rednecks aspire to. What’s next, you ask? Why, the modern feminist version, sponsored by PUMAPac! Giant labia to hang from the bumper of your VW Bug!
I see that this driver is ignoring the manufacturer’s warning and not using them for static display only-at his own risk!
http://www.truck-nuts.com/END_USER.html
NOTICE TO THE PUBLIC
Bumpernuts are for static display only.
The end user is responsible for displaying them on moving objects.
WHEN USING THE HITCH HANGER, IT IS BEST TO USE A THREADLOCKER ADHESIVE, PEOPLE WILL STEAL YOUR BALLS.
WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY THEFT. AS STATED OUR HITCH LOCK AND RECIEVER ARE A PREVENTATIVE MEASURE. BUT PLEASE USE SOME GLUE ON THE BOLTS SO THAT SOME JERK CANT COME ALONG AND USE SOME TOOLS AND LEAVE YOU WITH THE HANGER AND THE LOCK. HANG AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Teh Truck Nutz are a multi-racial thing here in Denver. I’ve seen them on pickups piloted by cowboy hat wearing Mexican American types and pickups piloted by by-God Republican white boy types.
They finally adopted the moar Truck Nutz suggestion from the Rebuild the Wingnut Party website! It is a great day in ‘Merica.
Impressive in size and cleanliness. Also, too.
Sigh….truck nutz on a toyota tundra. This is what the global economy has wrought.
Is it Mischa Barton’s ex-boyfriend?
[re=244598]The Frogurt Is Also Cursed[/re]: I’ll take one pair.
And a pair for my motorcycle.
[re=244607]operation limey[/re]: I think there was a “be more gay” suggestion and this accomplishes that too!!!
Looks like the truck has a Maryland plate. Therefore, it doesn’t count as true DeeCee trucknutz. Everyone knows that Maryland is more backwards than Pennsylvania, the Land of Many TruckNutz.
[re=244595]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Ah, my dear — the sweet naivety of Youth!
Cant be real – they’re hanging off a Tundra. Only latte sipping arugula swilling libtard poseurs drive Tundras.
[re=244609]you cannot be serious[/re]: They are fully shaved and therefore PorNutz!
In Alabama, we don’t see white TruckNutz. Most of the are green, but we also have the Ludwig Von Mises institute as well.
[re=244639]davesnothere[/re]: Oh, do THOSE go south too (like a woman’s boobs) with age? Sorry to hear it. Jesus, between that & your dicks that always need adjusting, I don’t know how you guys get anything done!
[re=244658]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Didn’t the nice ladies over at Confluence warn us that our scrotums (for those of us who have them) would sag?
[re=244589]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: You blog now, with your spare timez? Please link me. I want to go to there.
BTW, did they fucking bus people in from Wenatchee or something?
[re=244658]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: They don’t get anything done. That’s why God invented PUMAs.
I saw a pair on the NYS Thruway today. Blue. Old man driving truck.
No where is safe.
Goddamn hippies stole the TruckNutz off of my Prius during Folklife in Seattle last year. Unfortunately my unique brand of hipster irony is rather less than unique in SEA.
OK…I had NO idea that trucknutz actually existed. I thought they were just something that a Wonketteer or editor had made up.
This is a frightening development.
There have been no trucknutz sightings in my particularly snooty suburb in the midwest. I will remain vigilant and ready with the camera, to document any sightings.
The world continues to shock and awe.
Chrome nutz are the rage in LA, dangling off the rear axle.
[re=244595]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Those nutz have been aged in fine oak for approximately 48 years.
you should see the pair they put on the USS George H. W. Bush
[re=244685]FuzeLine[/re]: Wait, you saw blue TruckNutz on the thruway and didn’t pull the farmer over and relieve him? You must live in the 212.
[re=244667]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: http://kevotronsangryshouting.blogspot.com/
In in the area of Pennsylvania where I’ve been they’re particularly fond of the blue-veined model…
Is that where they’re supposed go? I’ve been stuffing them down my pants. Boy, am I embarrassed.
To see the entire collection of TruckNutz, just go to Nashville and drive through the parking lot of the Tennessee Legislature. Wingnutz and TruckNutz. American as…trucknutz.
I live in California, the Bay Area. Last month I saw a big ol’ pickup with “lord’s Gym” and “pray hard” type christian stickers, and hanging from the hitch … truck nutz! I’m searching my bible for where it says, “Blessed are the Large Testicles for they knoweth how to pleaseth the … uh.. ladies, yeah”
[re=244600]CivicHoliday[/re]: No no no. Small clits that attach to your antenna.
[re=244802]Catholics4Condoms[/re]: I’m in the bay area too, recently moved from Sacramento. The Lord’s Gym is actually a place in Roseville (Sacto suburb) and I would not be surprised at ALL if there’s lots of nutz out that way!!
My dad was thinking of getting a pair for his big truck and hanging them ironically, but people would probably not realize his actual intention there.
Truck Nutz are the Baby on Board sign of the 21st Century.
Dooooooooooo yourrrrrrrrrrrr
Nutz hang low!
Do they wobble to and fro!
Can ya tie ‘em inna knot!
Can ya tie ‘em inna bow!
Can ya throw them over your shoulder
Like a Continental soldier
Do your NUTZ! HANG! LOWWWWWWWW!
[re=244701]hockeymom[/re]: Being from Australia, I also believed that Truck Nutz existed only in the parallel universe of Wonkette Girl. Now, like you, my eyes have been opened and I have seen the er… Nutz.
No sightings to report from Down Under, yet. Not surprising I suppose, given that I spend most of my time in the genteel city of Melbourne and surrounds. I’m sure if I ventured into the Outback, where folks rassle crocodiles for fun and such like, I’d see Truck Nutz everywhere.
On second thoughts, I think I’ll stick to my prissy urban environment. I will keep an eye out though, and report any sightings.
[re=244605]CrunchyKnee[/re]: Truck Nutz: Symbol of a Post-Racial America!
[re=244714]bitchincamaro[/re]: Painfully elite clearly. So the blue trucknutz were a signal? Is this the handkerchief code for hicks?
I’ve laid mine own eyes upon them coast-to-coast….. That said there are certain “truck nutz hotspots” in our land such as the central valley of California or rural Wisconsin. I’m happy to see that they’ve made it to full representation in the capitol city, I think they deserve a congressperson…….
Precious.
I can’t help but think of someone getting run over by the truck, and as the truck clears over them, they think, “I’m going to make it, the truck is going to drive right over me.” And then the trucknutz slam into him, preferably in the balls. If any of you are writing a Lethal Weaponesque screenplay, consider adding this clever bit of slapstick action.
Wow, I have also only spotted these Nutz in Hampton Roads/Tidewater, VA. And I’ve lived in some of the most down south rednecky places imaginable. But, none that inspire Truck Nutz sportin’ like Hampton Roads.
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