Oh boy the stimulation is signed, in Denver — no birth certificate necessary there! — and here’s your Barack Obama all pissed off at Washington because, duh, Washington is (for the moment) in large part defined by a handful of advertising filler known as “pundits” and “Richard Cohen” and “The Politico,” all of which are basically Dick Cheney x 1,000,000. Meanwhile, over in that ghost town previously known as “Wall Street,” everybody’s all crying because Obama isn’t doing MORE to save their doomed sectors. Close ‘em down! [TeeVee]
Here’s Your Obama Saving the Economy (Don’t Look At Business News Tonight!)
by Ken Layne
by Ken Layne
7:07 pm February 17, 2009
Previous post: ‘Hey Boy Let Me See You Shake It Cross The Dancefloor’
Next post: Next Post
{ 34 comments }
Why does my Wonkette randomly turn into Wonkabout? I’m just cruising along and all of a sudden BLUE! EVERYTHING IS BLUE!!! Why iz?
Can Obama just cold take us back to the Barter system? Cause I’ve got some chickens I’d trade for an HDTV.
Oh, DANK!
I live in Boulder, and yeah, it is pretty awesome. First “smart-grid city,” and also first city in the world where pot smoking has a larger carbon footprint than automobiles.
[re=245626]BadKitty[/re]: It’s the Wonkabout taint.
Just imagine if McCain had won the election………………Oh, no! Get down off that window ledge!!
[re=245626]BadKitty[/re]: Your rocking chair is rocking on your wifi tubes.
“(Don’t Look At Business News Tonight!)”. I assume this excludes the Frontline special tonight that paid Wonkette’s bills for a couple of minutes last week? I for one, am looking forward to this Paulson
hangingroast.Well at least he didn’t come off pissy and long-winded this time.
And he put in a good word for the deserts! That’s your back yard Ken. He likes it! He did not talk up the tortoises yet but it is early days yet in his job.
[re=245626]BadKitty[/re]: Iz bad juju. Duck out for a few days and people named after Polynesian greetings or notorious torture centers are spewing stuff at you that is apparently designed to weed out anyone who isn’t hip to a plaudit such as, “collaborates with the likes of Diplo and MIA.” Fine, I’m fucking old. But punching this poop down the throat of us that are at the higher end of your demographic curve is pretty annoying. Yes, I know it’s ‘get off my lawn.’ bah, humbug
[re=245650]user-of-owls[/re]: Can I have your Gran Torino when I go off to college? Do I have to get beat up and raped by my cousins first? Cuz I will…
Thanks a lot for the warning, Ken–too late! I’ve already the news. Is it just me, or is anyone else in the mood to hunt down a capitalist (anyone in an expensive suit will do) and strangle him with your bare hands?
Since I’m already depressed about my ongoing physical affliction and the economic depression, I might as well watch Frontline. Besides, I really like the sound of that guy’s voice who narrates it.
Will PBS be showing any blood-sacrifices of above-referenced GCaps? Because that might fix the markets, in a voodoo kind of way. These days, I’d be much more inclined to kill a rich banker than I would sacrifice a chicken. Chickens are nicer than bankers and, besides, the two probably taste exactly alike.
The problem with the whole stimulus package is that it is not capitalistic enough. Obama knows from his personal experience the best way to make money; and everyone knows that the Government produces the best stuff. So, how long until the Feds start selling some of that sweet, sweet bud to the rest of us. Within a year, you could cut taxes to next to nothing and be running surpluses. Plus you get the benefit of reducing crime, domestic violence, and the inability of anyone at NRO to laugh.
It is a win/win people!
You should have live blogged it because Joe the Biden was yakking & yakking & Barry was looking so serious. You know Barry was just thinking “shut the fuck up, Joe”. Barry’s sphincter was seriously in the clenched position. It’s gonna be a great 4/8(?) years with Felix & Oscar.
Ken, you forgot to mention repellent things like “Lindsey Graham getting fa-bu-lous-ly theatrical” and “Mike Pence’s endangered mouse porn fetish”, not to mention “Michael Steele’s job/work wordplay”
“Ah Dee-clayah, if this heah is bah-partisanship, we ah screwed!”
[re=245659]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Barry just holds in what Joe freely shares with anyone close by…words, I mean, of course.
He should move the White House to Denver, in anticipation of the oceans rising…
[re=245665]GlennBecksFelch[/re]: or to Beijing, in anticipation of our new landlords.
Well…LET’S GO! C’mon! Chop-chop! Get to work building my high speed trains!
[re=245656]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]:
I’m all for the sticky green buds. The pharmaceuticals on the other hand…
[re=245665]GlennBecksFelch[/re]: mountaintop lair, please
Why does he keep talking about how much “hard work” everything is going to be? BARRY YOU ARE MAGIC JUST MAKE IT HAPPEN.
From bad to worse, that is the way the economy goes. Ho ho ho. Talk about lowered expectations. At this point almost anything would be good news, and I don’t mean Walmart stock going up because profits exceeded expectations.
On the other hand, the NYT says:
If you’ve ever considered taking a cruise vacation, now may be the time.
[re=245672]Servo[/re]: Sure, but think about it. How do they keep Strom Thurman and Robert Byrd alive so long? The Feds have all the good stuff. I’m just saying, let it all out there, and we will be fine. Plus, think about how nice it will be when your local census worker comes by and can offer you a dime bag or a bump of coke? That is change that I can believe in!
Technical note: Video and sound quality ++ better than the usual crappy clips posted online. So congrats to whomever is responsible, anyway. I’m going to get out my good Sony cans and listen to that again.
Sorta like chasing the kids out of the room when I get a new Sam Cook or Maria Callas gold-mastered CD.
Ladies and Gentlemen …. I give the first mega-bailout. This is the first down payment of three to the NWO.
Please send your picture (passport size) to the local office w/fingerprints to give you your new ID.
[re=245682]InKnockYouUs[/re]: Seriously, considering plane flights to Europe are so cheap, the Euro’s in the toilet, and I’m guessing that my unemployment could last for a year or so, I’m kinda thinking screw it, let’s just go to Paris for a few weeks. What’s more debt?
[re=245655]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Will PBS be showing any blood-sacrifices of above-referenced GCaps? Because that might fix the markets, in a voodoo kind of way.
That would be great — and would give the rest of those whiners some incentive. Pour encourager les autres, as they say.
Each morning an analytic company will have already set the price you will see at opening bell. Some “pundant” will say (acting in concert) “prices fell at the opening bell.” No, sir, (or madam) they were written down, they didn’t fall. We should all fall so softly and never get up. I believe that is what the purveyors of worthlessness have in mind. Obama said it: it isn’t the weather. If they could control that like the markets it would never rain in sunny southern California – or anywhere else.
DO NOT SPEAK OF PUNDITS SO HORRIBLY. After all, it is the pundits who control the water supply. I don’t know for sure because I read it from Alex Jones and Larry Sinclair’s new editorial effort “These are Things that were not True Until they were Penned,” but it should be easy to trust the source.
Huh? Today is the beginning of the end?
When does someone start doing that killer impression of him swiveling from TelePrompter to TelePrompter feeding us his bullshit.
Has anybody else here thrown out their expectations of this guy and is just girding for BS as usual?
[re=245650]user-of-owls[/re]: Dood I’m fifty-four and I know who MIA is, she is bad-assss
And check it out: she did a hip hop mix with GWBush, I’m surprised you missed that.
Ass Pumpin America: http://acksisofevil.org/audio/MIAmix.mp3
TIP: No thanks to Wonkette I found a photo of Michelle Malkin sacrificing a boar at her protest/prayer meeting in Seattle in opposition to economic recovery.
http://www.yeahokthen.com/2009/02/michelle-malkin-will-have-her-revenge.html
[re=245773]AWOcoholic[/re]: That was very funny. Thank you for that.
[re=245660]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Did you see Maureen Dowd just got all “Let Biden be Biden, Barry” on Obama in her Sunday column? I guess we know she’s banging Letterman for the inside scoop now, and she’s using his column to do his bidding. Also.
Comments on this entry are closed.