• February 15, 2012

Shine on, you crazy diamond“SCANDAL MUSHROOMS,” reports the Chicago Sun-Times, and indeed, this scandal is off the hook, mushroom-wise. Latest revelation: “The son of embattled Sen. Roland Burris is a federal tax deadbeat who landed a $75,000-a-year state job under former Gov. Rod Blagojevich five months ago.” Well that just shows how very generous the former governor was, giving out jobs to anyone named Burris and never asking anything in return. [Chicago Sun-Times]

{ 36 comments }

Nerdalicious February 26, 2009 at 1:13 pm

The WWF “The Chisler” is goin’ down!

4tehlulz February 26, 2009 at 1:13 pm

Facts are racist.

ManchuCandidate February 26, 2009 at 1:15 pm

Burris should put “The Taint of the Father shall be visited on the Son” on his mausoleum.

shanemacgowan February 26, 2009 at 1:16 pm

I tried scandal mushrooms. They were no help for my headaches or my OCD.

Iggy Plop February 26, 2009 at 1:16 pm

Scandal mushrooms? Putting Blago’s taint to good agricultural use fertilizing up some of those portobellos to be ready for grilling season.

AnnieGetYourFun February 26, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Because today seems to be almost entirely about tea-bagging, I’m going to assume that it fits into this scenario somehow.

Swampwitch February 26, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Scandal mushrooms sound tasty. But maybe only b/c its past 1pm and no lunch yet.

Serolf Divad February 26, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Rod Blagojevich saved Roland Burris’ life by throwing himself on a Nazi hand grenade during World War II (the blast was cushioned by Blagojevich’s pompadour, and both men survived unscathed). That’s the only reason Burris accepted the Senate seat that his dear friend offered him.

Fox n Fiends February 26, 2009 at 1:20 pm

Who does he think he is, Mitt Romney?

FMA February 26, 2009 at 1:23 pm

RE: The alt-text.

“Come on you target for faraway laughter,
“Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!”

Hmmmmmmm…

Nerdalicious February 26, 2009 at 1:23 pm

I did not, I repeat I did not, give sonny boy a $75,000 per yr job! (Although, I do forsee an end to this situation similar to my end, as in having to be dragged kicking, screaming & quoting Wadsworth out of office.) Then I got to torture the evil Illinois legislature that takes health care & bus rides away from poor people, with my 12 hr manifesto of crazy.

shodan2020 February 26, 2009 at 1:24 pm

I too, tried Scandal Mushrooms. Visions of Warren Harding and Ulysses S. Grant danced in my head for 5 hours. Not pleasant.

NoWireHangers February 26, 2009 at 1:26 pm

$75K a year? Roland Jr., Rolandulous, and Rolandia are going to need a lot more money than that to maintain the upkeep on their father’s guilded ego shrine mausoleum.

shortsshortsshorts February 26, 2009 at 1:26 pm

[re=253518]4tehlulz[/re]: YOU. FUCKING. WIN.

Fox News believes the same thing. Their war on facts is full of nobility and such.

Tommy Says Soooo February 26, 2009 at 1:26 pm

So that is what Plaxico has been doing since the gun went off.

takes12no1 February 26, 2009 at 1:27 pm

*sniff. I think I smell something….taint…definitely taint.

AngryBlakGuy February 26, 2009 at 1:27 pm

…next it will be discovered that Roland Burris is really Rod Blagojevich’s love child.

NoWireHangers February 26, 2009 at 1:29 pm

Sure, scandal mushrooms seem like a good idea at first, but once you start to trip it’s a freakish carnival of Blago’s taint, Blago’s hair, and Mike Ditka all tap dancing atop the Burris’ Mausoleum.

AxmxZ February 26, 2009 at 1:35 pm

Burris and Blago are like a duo of vaudeville clowns.

Cape Clod February 26, 2009 at 1:35 pm

To be fair, Blago didn’t give him the job. He just showed up one day at the Illinois Housing Development Authority in the rain, trailing a bunch of natioanl media types and they let him stay because the IHDA is made up of a bunch of spineless pussies

SayItWithWookies February 26, 2009 at 1:40 pm

I don’t see how this would’ve been helpful to Blagojevich — he gets no influence out of it, and now that he’s out of a job, Burris can’t really do anything to help him anyway. I know you can fail at governance, but Blago and Burris have totally failed at corruption. How they’re allowed to show their faces in Chicago I have no idea.

Come here a minute February 26, 2009 at 1:44 pm

Taint is the best fertilizer for scandal mushrooms.

Clamps February 26, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Burris is blazing a trail out of the Senate.

AngryBlakGuy February 26, 2009 at 1:49 pm

…do they pass the family “taint” down from father to son, like a family heirloom?

IceCreamEmpress February 26, 2009 at 1:54 pm

Roasted taint on a bed of scandal mushrooms. HEY THE SERVICE AT THIS RESTAURANT IS TERRIBLE!

Nerdalicious February 26, 2009 at 1:57 pm

[re=253562]AxmxZ[/re]:
Yep, clowns and WWF Tag Team:

Burris = “The Chisler”
Blago = “Taped Worm”

Peanut Inspector February 26, 2009 at 1:58 pm

I thought that name sounded familiar. “Super Burrhead” was a chittlin’-circuit wrestler from Phenix City, Alabama. He did ads for a Columbus, Georgia furniture store and his catch phrase was “Good credik, bad credik, no credik at all!”

It’s good to know that he and his family have done so well working for the government.

Mr Blifil February 26, 2009 at 2:00 pm

The soft bigotry of low expectations. The kid won’t even qualify for a tax hike under the Obama Robin Hood Act. Fail.

shortsshortsshorts February 26, 2009 at 2:02 pm

[re=253590]Mr Blifil[/re]: But he may qualify for a cabinet post.

TeddyS February 26, 2009 at 2:18 pm

It is sooooo damned appropriate that Burris goes down in flames. Time to stand up and resign to spend more time with his family and pursue other opportunities in the private sector.

lawrenceofthedesert February 26, 2009 at 2:25 pm

I can’t wait for Elvis-worshiper Rod to star in his first Bollywood musical, “The Song of Roland.”

assistant/atlas February 26, 2009 at 3:03 pm

Oh the taint. It burns.

Crow T. Robot February 26, 2009 at 3:03 pm

Go away already Burris. You’re hurting my hope-y buzz. Jebus H. Fuckstick.

Bearbloke February 26, 2009 at 5:49 pm

Well, that explains the Blagojevich-faced Sphinx-thing head atop the Burris burial ziggurat…

NunnaTheSOBs February 26, 2009 at 6:00 pm

Burris père et fils
so impressed former
governor Blowjobyabitch
that Blojo sought to
put these two fine men
into the public sector,
to serve the people, with
no concern for personal
gain. It is a shame that
the world can’t see the
obvious.

Bruno February 27, 2009 at 5:01 am

[re=253524]ManchuCandidate[/re]: It is time that Burris added a little spot for his son, at the foot of the tomb.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: