• February 14, 2012

Not that Bill Kristol can ever be replaced, but the New York Times has finally found a new conservative friend for David Brooks on the op-ed page! As usual, the pick is a white male, but for the first time it’s a young and dashing white male (sorry, Tom Friedman!) So let the record show that after Wonkette wrote in a post about the Times on October 23, 2008, “Just hire Ross Douthat and get it over with,” the Newspaper of Record had no choice but to comply. Congratulations, Ross! [Sigh] Why did they have to pick such a non-clown? [NYT]

{ 120 comments }

Fox n Fiends March 11, 2009 at 5:50 pm

you sure do got a purty mouth

Lazy Media March 11, 2009 at 5:51 pm

I’d hit it.

shanemacgowan March 11, 2009 at 5:53 pm

A young and dashing white male? What does Lindsay Graham think?

Gallowglass March 11, 2009 at 5:53 pm

[re=263053]Fox n Fiends[/re]: He shore do!

itgetter March 11, 2009 at 5:54 pm

Okay, no. I think we’ve all got lower standards for teh sex when it comes to conservatives, but this man is not dashing. Maybe here, but all of the other pictures on the first page of a Google images search are
disappointing.

Joey Ratz March 11, 2009 at 5:55 pm

I guess the future non-wackiness of the NYT conservatives will force the Wonkette editors to start reading the Washington Times and similar publications for their conservatard fix. Damn NYT elitists.

drrty martini March 11, 2009 at 5:56 pm

Meh…I’d hit it.

Country Club Jihadi March 11, 2009 at 5:56 pm

He should probably tape a picture of Orson Wells on his fridge.

Malachite Kingfisher March 11, 2009 at 5:58 pm

This guy looks 50. Do Republicans all start like 13-year-old-going-on-40 who wowed the crowd at CPAC, then just get older-seeming from there?

shortsshortsshorts March 11, 2009 at 6:00 pm

I hope Mr. Limbaugh is happy with his decision.

SayItWithWookies March 11, 2009 at 6:02 pm

I nominate WaPo’s Michael Gerson for new idiot Republican blatherer. He’s on a tear today about how keeping abortion legal is the same thing as not allowing a fundie pharmacist to fill your prescription for Plan B wich is — you guessed it — coercion and an infringement of freedom of religion.

NoWireHangers March 11, 2009 at 6:02 pm

Young and dashing? Two hands on the keyboard, Newell.

I’d only hit it with a bat. Repeatedly. He’s got a bit of cro-magnon brow, and there’s that whole Republican thing which is always a deal breaker.

NoWireHangers March 11, 2009 at 6:03 pm

[re=263063]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: LOL!

Neilist March 11, 2009 at 6:04 pm

[I know this is off-topic, but . . . ]

Was I the only person who saw this MSNBC headline, and immediately thought that Rush-bo had gone down to the Dominican Republic for another ocean vacation?:

“It’s a first: Whale sedated to disentangle rope
Crews were able to calm it, then remove 380 feet of rope around it”

I guess I should have realized it was a reference to a real whale.

No sane person would remove a rope from around The Fat One’s neck.

Not until rigor had set in, I mean.

evan7257 March 11, 2009 at 6:04 pm

Pfsh
He was born in connecticut, went to harvard, writes for the atlantic, and is a center of the road republican. Another wonderful circle-jerk move by the NYTimes. He’ll provide a really new perspective here, that’s for sure. With a grasp of liberalism v. conservatism as he’s seen from Boston to New York, and maybe heard about from San Francisco.
There are other parts of the United States. Big cities with running water and electricity, like Houston or Denver, where people understand politics and write about them, too!

El Pinche March 11, 2009 at 6:05 pm

[re=263053]Fox n Fiends[/re]: damn, you beat me to it.

Internally valid March 11, 2009 at 6:07 pm

No, no. Reading Douthat is too much work I tells you. Kristol’s articles crushed themselves under the weight of obvious factual inaccuracies and transparent belligerence and warmongering. Douthat makes actual arguments that I have to consider and think about! This simply will not do.

GooseInANoose March 11, 2009 at 6:07 pm

Hey, I actually enjoy reading Douthat! He still has a good 20 years before he starts writing anecdotes about Applebee’s from the perspective of the young Kierkegaard.

GooseInANoose March 11, 2009 at 6:09 pm

@evan7257

I’m sorry your Rusty Wallace fan blog was not picked up by NYT. Maybe next time, big guy.

El Pinche March 11, 2009 at 6:13 pm

Douthat, you have a big douche to fill.

Godot March 11, 2009 at 6:14 pm

[re=263062]drrty martini[/re]: Oh really?

I’ll hold you to that.

evan7257 March 11, 2009 at 6:17 pm

@GooseInANoose
Thats it! You’re not allowed to come to SXSW.

blackdontcrack March 11, 2009 at 6:17 pm

dashing? young? maybe a dachsund.. i would not hit it and my standards are pretty low…

cal March 11, 2009 at 6:19 pm

Wait, he’s a conservative who sounds reasonable and intelligent?

That’s unpossible!

Vanity Smurf March 11, 2009 at 6:20 pm

Does that bear cub bareback? Time will tell.

sarahconnor March 11, 2009 at 6:20 pm

He voted for the war before he voted against it… sound familiar?

Leering pubtards would probably vote for that pretty mouth, before they vote against it. Also.

Red Zeppelin March 11, 2009 at 6:21 pm

How is that pronounced? Does it rhyme with “douche hat”–in which case I say that becomes his official Wonkonym.

RobPetrified March 11, 2009 at 6:27 pm

Its nice that Ross was able to find a pretty good job after Starfleet downsized its workforce.
I’m sure the letter of recommendation from Captain Picard helped a lot.
Engage.

President Beeblebrox March 11, 2009 at 6:29 pm

[re=263056]shanemacgowan[/re]: “Batter up” is what Lindsey the Catcher thinks.

Atheist Nun March 11, 2009 at 6:29 pm

All he needs is a backwards baseball cap, a trenchcoat and Jason Mewes:

Noinch, Noinch, Noinch, Schmokin Weed, Schmokin’ Weed, Doin’ Coke, Drinkin’ Beers…

sarahconnor March 11, 2009 at 6:29 pm

I still don’t know why they got rid of Billy Crystal. He was excellent in Spinal Tap, for example.

Advocatus_Diaboli March 11, 2009 at 6:29 pm

He’s conservative and his writing/logic doesn’t suck?!!?

Holy shit. If that’s true David Brooks better start polishing his cv.

saggyboobedhag March 11, 2009 at 6:33 pm

Creepy guy trying to look sexy.

Makes Amy Goodman’s stylist seem reasonable instead of non-existent.

spymoose March 11, 2009 at 6:35 pm

It’s just a matter of time before he and David Brooks are caught sharing a bathroom stall.

bitchincamaro March 11, 2009 at 6:36 pm

I do not have to have read a word from his pen in order to pass judgement on this new hire: FAIL. A twenty-nine year old conservative is by definition a dunderhead since for his entire miserable life, conservatives in power have done nothing BUT FAIL! I look forward to passing many future judgements based upon not reading his columns. Good day!*

*a la Paul Harvey

bitchincamaro March 11, 2009 at 6:41 pm

[re=263093]Red Zeppelin[/re]: “Doubt that”?

tsunami March 11, 2009 at 6:45 pm

rhymes with asshat?

windupbird March 11, 2009 at 6:48 pm

“……young and dashing white male……”

Really? I’m getting an Orson Welles type of vibe.

windupbird March 11, 2009 at 6:50 pm

[re=263063]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: Jeez, I thought I was the only one who thought so….Orson was probably much more interesting. He DID snag Rita Hayworth.

Fear of a Black Reagan March 11, 2009 at 6:53 pm

I knew Ross at Harvard. Personally, he is a nice guy. In print he is a douchebag, although somewhat less than Brooks and vastly less than Kristol.

drrty martini March 11, 2009 at 6:54 pm

[re=263084]Godot[/re]: Jesus fuck! Lazy Media called first dibs. I’ll just go back to my well-worn fantasy of being Mr Rachel Maddow and riding on a unicorn through a field of sunflowers.

El Pinche March 11, 2009 at 6:55 pm

[re=263093]Red Zeppelin[/re]: First thing I thought was “Doubt that”

Citizen Kang March 11, 2009 at 6:57 pm

Is this what passes for dashing these days? We’re in worse shape than I thought.

Red Zeppelin March 11, 2009 at 7:00 pm

[re=263114]bitchincamaro[/re]: Is that the Canadian pronounciation of doubt? If so, not far from the vowel sound in douche.

Texan Bulldoggette March 11, 2009 at 7:02 pm

[re=263128]Citizen Kang[/re]: No kidding. Pretty soon Rush will be on the Best Dressed list or some shit.

smellyal8r March 11, 2009 at 7:03 pm

Twenty-nine? “Ms. Dowd, please stop lifting your skirt and get back to writing.” I’m sure she will be “hanging out” in his cubicle talking about Mick Jagger and Bono while this poor guy thinks “you poor liberal dingbat”. Meanwhile, if Ross is as he bills himself, Dave Brooks may be full time over to the NewsHour soon. The Grey Lady doesn’t need two of the same thing (white male conservatives who criticize the GOP). At least they didn’t turn this over to Frum or some other Safire wannabe.

Min March 11, 2009 at 7:03 pm

[re=263119]windupbird[/re]: Same here.

And you know what the Bard says. “Some are born clowns, some achieve clowndom, some have clowndom thrust upon them.”

I’m going with option 3.

pat robertsons personal trainer March 11, 2009 at 7:08 pm

was the draftpalin guy busy doing his mom’s laundry?

ManchuCandidate March 11, 2009 at 7:24 pm

Holy Jeebus, it’s Hugo Drax.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugo_Drax

Darkness March 11, 2009 at 7:30 pm

[re=263128]Citizen Kang[/re]: I agree. Or that’s a really bad headshot that got mixed up with the one he was sending to Hollywood for a Quasimodo casting call.

shortsshortsshorts March 11, 2009 at 7:35 pm

[re=263161]Darkness[/re]: He’s no Sarah Palin.

Bruno March 11, 2009 at 7:35 pm

There’s no way that Do-that is his real name. It’s not possible.

I’d only do that if there were a handlebar ‘stache involved. The Goat’ just doesn’t do it for me

President Beeblebrox March 11, 2009 at 7:41 pm

[re=263164]Bruno[/re]: I believe he is buddies with Andy Sullivan. Think he’s a fellow bear?

Human-Animal Hybrid March 11, 2009 at 7:47 pm

I never realized that A.J. from The Sopranos was a conservative.

Servo March 11, 2009 at 7:53 pm

♪Douthis, don’t Douthat, can’t you read the signs.♫

[re=263098]RobPetrified[/re]:
He’ll also walk around the cubicle farm like he was going to knock down a door with his head.

[re=263102]sarahconnor[/re]:
“C’mon! Mime is money!”

El Vista March 11, 2009 at 7:54 pm

His fate is soon to be bald and bitterer. So it goes.

grevillea March 11, 2009 at 7:55 pm

Lil’ Trig sure growed up quick, that’s all I can say…

AnnieGetYourFun March 11, 2009 at 7:55 pm

[re=263133]smellyal8r[/re]: I was hoping for Frum, because he fills the “whiny dude with a freaky facial expression” quota that has been suffering since Kristol done left.

WickedWitch March 11, 2009 at 8:01 pm

Oh God. Are there NO WOMEN out there writing????

smellyal8r March 11, 2009 at 8:03 pm

[re=263204]WickedWitch[/re]: Ann Coulter. That’s about it.

shortsshortsshorts March 11, 2009 at 8:04 pm

[re=263204]WickedWitch[/re]: PEGGY. NOONINGTON.

Uncle Glenny March 11, 2009 at 8:09 pm

When I read in the NYT article that is name is pronounced “DOW-thut” I read that as a description of the stock market.

I don’t find him dashing. Friedman, moreso. I think Krugman is kind of cute (mainly from watching his expressions being interviewed by Colbert).

Of course, Levi Johnston…

grevillea March 11, 2009 at 8:17 pm

[re=263204]WickedWitch[/re]: Memories of the last time MoDo felt compelled to mark her territory are still fresh.

wheelie March 11, 2009 at 8:21 pm

[re=263218]Uncle Glenny[/re]: Will he be any good? I – heh heh get this – DOW-thut very much.

Heh.

Ok. I’ll just go to my room for the rest of the day.

wheelie March 11, 2009 at 8:25 pm

[re=263236]wheelie[/re]: You idiot, that lame joke has been made several times already in this thread, now that I have read it in full. Seriously: go to your room. Good night.

tiny mexican March 11, 2009 at 8:29 pm

[re=263204]WickedWitch[/re]: Be careful what you wish for. The NYT was supposedly eyeing Megan McArdle, the dumbest fucking professional blogger in the universe, before they picked Douthat.

josereyes.theroof March 11, 2009 at 8:33 pm

PORNOGRAPHY IS ADULTERY.

If you want to think Douthat is not a social right fringer, then know that he things PORNOGRAPHY IS ADULTERY. Not just performing in it, viewing it.

Pop Socket March 11, 2009 at 8:34 pm

[re=263133]smellyal8r[/re]: So who does he hate-fuck first, Maureen Dowd or Gail Collins?

clandestino March 11, 2009 at 8:35 pm

god. young republicans all look the same.

Pop Socket March 11, 2009 at 8:39 pm

[re=263245]tiny mexican[/re]: I can not believe the talent pool is shallow enough for Megan McArdle to make anybody’s short list. I’d rather have Meghan McCain (and not just in the biblical sense).

hobgoblin of little minds March 11, 2009 at 8:50 pm

He looks like a Paultard.

Uncle Glenny March 11, 2009 at 8:54 pm

[re=263249]josereyes.theroof[/re]: Does he think that gay porn objectifies women?

Atheist Nun March 11, 2009 at 9:11 pm

[re=263083]El Pinche[/re]: I HEREBY CHRISTEN THEE: DoucheHat

S.Luggo March 11, 2009 at 9:17 pm

What? Popeye not amused.

slinkimalinki March 11, 2009 at 9:21 pm

not seeing young and dashing. seeing truck-stop serial rapist.

S.Luggo March 11, 2009 at 9:34 pm

A well-used tray of cat litter could replace Kristol. Evidently the Times has confirmed that.

shortsshortsshorts March 11, 2009 at 9:35 pm

[re=263249]josereyes.theroof[/re]: And if South Dakota passes that law stating that seeing a fetus is child pornography, then abortion is adultery too, against Jeebus.

joezoo March 11, 2009 at 9:41 pm

Angus McFadyen is a conservative? I thought Robert of Bruce learned his lesson!

S.Luggo March 11, 2009 at 9:42 pm

[re=263053]Fox n Fiends[/re]: A petulant Andrew Sullivan?

S.Luggo March 11, 2009 at 9:44 pm
S.Luggo March 11, 2009 at 9:50 pm

[re=263250]Pop Socket[/re]: David Brooks.

Norbert March 11, 2009 at 10:10 pm

[re=263156]ManchuCandidate[/re]: good call, MC

cal March 11, 2009 at 10:37 pm

[re=263204]WickedWitch[/re]: Surprised they didn’t pick Michele Malkin?

Prof. Junk March 11, 2009 at 10:37 pm

Is that Wolfman Jack?

gliberal March 11, 2009 at 10:47 pm

The man in the “come hither” hair piece. BTW, is it pronounced Doubt-that?

grevillea March 11, 2009 at 10:47 pm

[re=263302]S.Luggo[/re]: There’s another kind? Fuck.

S.Luggo March 11, 2009 at 10:52 pm

[re=263323]cal[/re]: The Times wanted a conserve who knew how to use a period after a sentence.

Mr Blifil March 11, 2009 at 11:05 pm

Jeebus what a moran. Here’s the genius on stem cells:

“Yes, a frozen embryo will probably be destroyed eventually, and the pro-life gesture involved in freezing it is probably just an empty gesture. But there’s still a difference between a situation in which death is probable and a situation where it’s inevitable…”

So…we’re supposed to save the fertilized embryos of couples and single women, for implantation in other women, biologically unrelated to the baby? Certainly some people would avail themselves of such a program were it offered, but how many people are willing to let strangers raise their biological children, rather than simply discarding the extras? Oh and the reason those embryos are “extras?” Usually it’s because they are deemed insufficiently robust and mature by the in vitro specialist. In other words, they are junior varsity, not likely to thrive in the womb. Sort of like how Douthat’s column is unlikely to thrive at the Times during the Obama years.

Dean Booth March 11, 2009 at 11:16 pm

Is he that Paper Chase guy?

S.Luggo March 11, 2009 at 11:34 pm

[re=263348]Dean Booth[/re]: That depends upon what you mean by paper. Charmin, Cotonelle or the New York Post?

Oh hell to the no March 11, 2009 at 11:49 pm

Was Jonathan Krohn too busy with speaking engagements?

S.Luggo March 12, 2009 at 12:13 am

[re=263343]Mr Blifil[/re]: “and the pro-life gesture” in freezing the embryo. He writes like Leo XIII.
“Pro-life” or “self-centered”?

S.Luggo March 12, 2009 at 12:20 am

http://rossdouthat.theatlantic.com/archives/2009/03/secular_america_and_the_cultur.php
Secular America and the Culture War – Ross Douthat
11 Mar 2009 10:54 am
“This big religious-identification study is getting a lot of attention, and justly so, for showing the rise of freelance religiosity on the one hand, and straightforward secularism on the other.”
****
Next: Why the Reconquista failed.

S.Luggo March 12, 2009 at 12:38 am

[re=263063]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: Welles, but locked into Catholic orthodoxy. Each Easter, Ross, in search of re-affirmation and re-birth, looks forward to finding chocolate eggs hidden in a nest of green cellophane straw. But I mean this in a good way.

Jukesgrrl March 12, 2009 at 1:00 am

Reminds me of that famous line of Sir Winston’s, “I admire a manly man and a womanly woman, but I cannot abide a boyly boy.”

S.Luggo March 12, 2009 at 1:40 am

[re=263371]Jukesgrrl[/re]: However, one must admire Ross’ subtle use of kohl and soft eye-liner pencil about the eyes.
Surely, must have made the little girls of CPAC swoon.

sanantonerose March 12, 2009 at 1:44 am

He reminds me … oh, who is that vertically challenged actor? Peter Dinklage?

S.Luggo March 12, 2009 at 1:51 am

[re=263381]sanantonerose[/re]: Ron Paul, king of the lizard people.

assistant/atlas March 12, 2009 at 1:52 am

If he is young and dashing then I’m sober and sober.

Jukesgrrl March 12, 2009 at 2:33 am

[re=263379]S.Luggo[/re]: They neglected to mention his full name is Ross Jonas Douthat.

qaf March 12, 2009 at 2:43 am

[re=263192]Servo[/re]: I bow to your superior Unicode-fu. Please for our sake use it only for good.

shockratees March 12, 2009 at 3:30 am

dashing? DASHING? perhaps through the snow. in a one horse open sleigh.

because i’m certainly laughing all the way.

shockratees March 12, 2009 at 3:48 am

[re=263343]Mr Blifil[/re]: the extra embryos from fertility enhancement. first, the dashing guy does not address why it should even be ethical for anyone to create embryos at all in the name of “fertility,” if they are just going to wind up frozen. why should one embryo be created and chosen to be born, and other embryos be created and chozen to be frozen? the obvious ethical solution, if you accept the christians at their own principles, is to outlaw fertility enhancement. if a woman is not fertile, god did not make her fertile. period. if the christians can accept millions of people dying and suffering from diseases because they are denying stem cell research, they should be able to accept millions (i guess, or maybe thousands – i don’t know) of women unable to have children, in order to avoid destruction of embryos.

but this is just another way their hypocrisy is exposed. the whole so-called “christian religion,” at least in the usa, is just a right wing ultra rich propaganda machine, to manipulate the uneducated into supporting their rape of the nation.

and also, ross douthat’s pic looks like one of those “i send my pic over the internet to your teenage daughter” pics. it is really creepy.

davesnothere March 12, 2009 at 4:22 am

[re=263059]itgetter[/re]: Wait, it looks like he was featured in Black Republican magazine, circulation…heegnhh?

Pop Socket March 12, 2009 at 6:50 am

[re=263309]S.Luggo[/re]: That’s not a hate-fuck. Those two have a tender loving mutual admiration society going on. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

ozamerican March 12, 2009 at 7:19 am

That receding hairline, bulging forehead, furrowed brow.. he’s in to win, man!

“Young and dashing?” Hand me the smelling salts, please!

DanJoaquinOz March 12, 2009 at 7:25 am

Looking at Douthat it’s easy to understand why he’s so twitchy about eugenics.

ozamerican March 12, 2009 at 8:16 am

But it’s not a purty mouth… it’s a scary mouth! It’s the mouth of someone who thinks we give a f*ck what he has to say!

ozamerican March 12, 2009 at 8:19 am

[re=263265]hobgoblin of little minds[/re]:
Nah, not a Paultard… they wore costumes. A republitard. They just look like they could such the oxygen out of any room.

norbizness March 12, 2009 at 8:26 am

That’s at least a 5.3head. Like Peter Lorre mixed with that dude who works in accounting but by night puts on a fake goatee and plays bass in an Alice in Chains cover band.

King of Pants March 12, 2009 at 8:46 am

You have an odd definition of “dashing.” You’ve spent too much time on the Internet.

CampbellBrown' March 12, 2009 at 9:12 am

This might Ross’s 15 minutes of fame here, because he usually avoids the overt goofiness and newspeak that made Kristol’s column such fodder for this site. Plus the wingnuts hate him because he didn’t get his degree from ITT tech in fake plumbing and would likely be as creeped out by an average tea party attendee as we would. But becoming a columnist for the NYT has a tendency to make one a dork over time. Witness Maureen Dowd; I bet she was cool at some point.

Let Brooks be a warning to you, young Dooowthuut. He too was a sensible, moderate Republican voice. Now he writes about salad bars at Applebees. You have been warned.

norbizness March 12, 2009 at 9:15 am

All the apologia I’m reading seems to defend his writing as “tolerable,” not “desirable for reading.” Are we holding fire because of Gen-X/Y solidarity?

TGY March 12, 2009 at 10:18 am

Is there a betting pool on how long it is until he apologizes to Rush?

Origami March 12, 2009 at 12:45 pm

At least they still have Dowd for easy clownin’.

MarSF March 12, 2009 at 12:46 pm

Young and dashing? He appears to be on the same diet as Jonah “The Bloat” Goldberg.
If he is only 29 (!) I shudder to think what 40 will look like.

norbizness March 12, 2009 at 1:01 pm

Re: Non-clown status, I think not.

I will admit, Jim’s post in this instance does have more factual errors per run-on sentence than even Little Billy Kristol’s average, extinct column.

norbizness March 12, 2009 at 1:20 pm

P.S. “Last July, I argued that Louisiana’s David Vitter ought to resign his office after he more or less admitted to having frequented prostitutes. I stand by that position. However, if David Vitter – having conspicuously failed to resign – were to face off in a Presidential race against Barack Obama, I would be inclined to hold my nose and vote for Vitter.” Google that shit.

ncarbide March 12, 2009 at 2:23 pm

Douthat isn’t only not a non-clown; I believe he could safely be called an ass-clown. A misogynist assclown, at that.

To wit:

“You could spin this out further and point out that it also makes adaptive sense for women to have a certain amount of difficulty having orgasms, because then they’re more likely to seek out a long-term monogamous partner who knows their body well, which in turn dovetails nicely with the general female interest in having only one partner, the better to keep that partner around when the children come along.”

“Jennifer Aniston isn’t a bad icon for this shift [to "modern women taking their sexual cues from pornography"]: [She's] a weird, porn-like parody of a beautiful woman – skinny, over-tanned, and all angles except for her still-pneumatic breasts. The waxing is just a small part of the pantomime, a final insult to the natural body she gave up on long ago.”

It almost makes me miss Bill Kristol. Almost.

CrazyCatLady March 12, 2009 at 2:27 pm

Aw, chubby cheeks.

Loser.

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