• February 13, 2012
  • QUOTE OF THE DAY: “We didn’t pay 37 million zlotys for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there. We were supposed to have a herd, but as Ninio prefers male friends over females how will he produce offspring?” [Sky News]

{ 64 comments }

Serolf Divad April 10, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Holy crap, the zloty is a real currency? I was 100% sure the above was a quote from the Hitchhiker’s Guide (or one of its sequels) that I’d forgotten about.

chascates April 10, 2009 at 3:07 pm

37 million zlotys? They were screwed! That’s the normal price for 5 elephants.

AfghanVet April 10, 2009 at 3:08 pm

37 Million zlotys is like…$13.67.

bitchincamaro April 10, 2009 at 3:09 pm

How this relates to DC politics is beyond me. Oh, teh gay repub elephant. Never mind.

Lascauxcaveman April 10, 2009 at 3:12 pm

“Getting things done around here is like mating elephants…”

loudmouthredhead April 10, 2009 at 3:14 pm

Unfortunately, our gay elephants somehow reproduce (PROLIFICALLY) before they get discovered for what they are.

Is that REALLY a currency? REALLY?

comradepaulson April 10, 2009 at 3:17 pm

Ninio? Isn’t that Scalia’s nickname?

bitchincamaro April 10, 2009 at 3:20 pm

*imagining elephant teabagging*

Juice Newton's Bastard Child April 10, 2009 at 3:20 pm

A right winger freaking out over what is essentially an elephant that hasn’t went though puberty?You know this is a guy who likes his weenie on the down-low.

magic titty April 10, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Maybe they shouldn’t have named it Ninio? Ever thinka that?

If it was called Tusks’O'Fightin, this never would’ve happened.

AfghanVet April 10, 2009 at 3:20 pm

[re=286536]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Been there and still have few zlotys somewhere, which, based on Polish inflation must be worth less than the ink on the paper. But, I did love the country and the people. Lot’s of fun.

NoWireHangers April 10, 2009 at 3:21 pm

Clearly this elephant is choosing to be gay out of spite because God would never create a gay elephant.

choinski April 10, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Horton Hears a Homo.

choinski April 10, 2009 at 3:23 pm

Of course, he’s blind drunk on Chopin vodka and all the elephants are pink.

NoWireHangers April 10, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Doglessliberal April 10, 2009 at 3:24 pm

So right wing wackos are threatened by homosexual pachyderms, too? Man do these people need some serious therapy.

WIld Turkey April 10, 2009 at 3:25 pm

Maybe Ninio and his male friend could adopt an asian elephant – that seems to work for everyone in Brooklyn.

rambone April 10, 2009 at 3:25 pm

[re=286552]NoWireHangers[/re]: All because of the gay marriage.

NoWireHangers April 10, 2009 at 3:26 pm

Jim, epic fail. Clearly, you should have used this picture:

http://img.wonkette.com/assets/resources/2007/10/gaygop-thumb.jpg

It’s not too late. Just slap it up there. With alt text. Pls.

comradepaulson April 10, 2009 at 3:27 pm

[re=286547]bitchincamaro[/re]: An elephant may actually be able to teabag the White House in some form, although not as well as say The Jolly Green Giant (as Jon Stewart pointed out) or the Statue of Liberty, if she had a nut sack. Which she may well have, because she’s French and all that shit.

AfghanVet April 10, 2009 at 3:27 pm

[re=286555]choinski[/re]: Win!

JohnnyMeatworth April 10, 2009 at 3:27 pm

[re=286565]rambone[/re]: Yeah, someone needs to snap into action and make a commercial condemning gay marriage among elephants….

queeraselvis v 2.0 April 10, 2009 at 3:29 pm

I blame Iowa and Vermont.

Bruno April 10, 2009 at 3:30 pm

In these tumultuous times, I think I prefer the Vietnamese Dong to the Polish Zloty

2goats April 10, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Adoption. A herd of Dumbos, poor little elephants left w/o a Mom after the evil children torment her into a protective rage! That’s how Neno fathers a herd.

Advocatus_Diaboli April 10, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Well I guess Ninio can always move to Vermont.

Bruno April 10, 2009 at 3:32 pm

I always wondered what gay elephants do with their trunks during elephant gay buttsecks

Godot April 10, 2009 at 3:33 pm

[re=286577]Bruno[/re]: I’d like to stick my dong in her zloty, if you know what I mean!

The Cold Sea April 10, 2009 at 3:33 pm

How can this elephant be gay? I don’t see a pink tutu in any of the pictures.

Doglessliberal April 10, 2009 at 3:33 pm

[re=286578]2goats[/re]: or, like Babar, except there it was a little, old white lady adopting an elephant, but otherwise, just the same! Sort of. Nevermind.

Custerwolf April 10, 2009 at 3:40 pm

So what you’re saying is the
Polish People’s Purchase Promising a Plethora of Pachyderm Progeny Probably Won’t Pan Out.

queeraselvis v 2.0 April 10, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Ninio, I have someone who’s dying to meet you.

Come here a minute April 10, 2009 at 3:43 pm

How much is that in Blingies?

JohnnyMeatworth April 10, 2009 at 3:44 pm

And is this the real reason PETA wants the Pet Shop Boys to change their name?

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/10/peta.pet.shop.boys/index.html

itgetter April 10, 2009 at 3:44 pm

Having just typed “37,000,000 zlotys” into google, I now realize that I was royally ripped off during my last vacation to Poland.

Come here a minute April 10, 2009 at 3:46 pm

[re=286599]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Mr. Snuffleupagus is a furry!

WIld Turkey April 10, 2009 at 3:47 pm

Oddly enough, I just typed “Gay Polish Elephant” into google:

Results 1 – 10 of about 597,000 for gay polish elephant. (0.31 seconds)

lobo2009 April 10, 2009 at 3:50 pm

This guy needs to pull his pants down, turn around, and take it like the closeted queer he is. Maybe he can get it from the elephant….then again I wouldn’t want him to set the bar too high for his future partners!

Seriously is this all this man has to talk about!?

iwillsavethispatient April 10, 2009 at 3:51 pm

He’s worried about breeding? Surely they can just borrow some techniques from farming – i.e. the non-robot AI. As they say round here, if you milk a bull elephant, you’ll have a friend for life.

Accordion-o-rama April 10, 2009 at 3:52 pm

A million zlotys here, a million zlotys there, pretty soon you’re talking about a gay elephant.

Doglessliberal April 10, 2009 at 3:53 pm

[re=286599]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: but…but…what about Big Bird? You just want him to be dumped like so much litter on the side of a highway?

Custerwolf April 10, 2009 at 3:54 pm

[re=286613]WIld Turkey[/re]: Don’t google images- I’ve already seen three horrible things people can do to elephants. Now I must cry.

Brendan M. April 10, 2009 at 3:54 pm

[re=286623]lobo2009[/re]: Polish conservatives are actually quite similar to American conservatives, with the religiosity, racism, homophobia, and what have you, but minus the creepy twins.

Brendan M. April 10, 2009 at 3:55 pm

[re=286634]Doglessliberal[/re]: Big Bird knew what it was.

Custerwolf April 10, 2009 at 3:58 pm

It’s even more grosz.

Doglessliberal April 10, 2009 at 4:02 pm

[re=286644]Brendan M.[/re]: that is so very sad. Next, you’ll be trying to set up Bert with some young stud.

gambypants April 10, 2009 at 4:03 pm

i want to write a children’s book about him and Babar running off to Amerika to get married.

http://www.charlietueats.com

Custerwolf April 10, 2009 at 4:12 pm

[re=286647]Custerwolf[/re]: that should have an ‘e,’ on the end, but I temporarily ran out.

queeraselvis v 2.0 April 10, 2009 at 4:30 pm

[re=286661]Doglessliberal[/re]: For shame. Thank of the children!

Doglessliberal April 10, 2009 at 4:42 pm

I see the problem:

“‘We didn’t pay 37 million zlotys (£7.6m) for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there,’ Mr Grzes was quoted as saying.

‘We were supposed to have a herd, but as Ninio prefers male friends over females how will he produce offspring?’

Mr Grzes, from the right-wing opposition Law and Justice party, is a councillor in the western Polish city of Poznan.”

Mr. Grzes has jealousy issues because he needs another vowel, and Ninio has an extra “i”.

Doglessliberal April 10, 2009 at 4:43 pm

[re=286700]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: well, in all fairness, we know Bert had some multiple-partner thing going on with the pigeons, anyway.

Lionel Hutz Esq. April 10, 2009 at 5:27 pm

Jim, why have you been talking to my mother? I’m going to get out and find a job Mom!

Links April 10, 2009 at 5:52 pm

Ohhh, Sky News, the British equivalent of Fox News. I had to endure their bat shit insanity during my jet lag induced insomnia in Europe. It’s more fun when it’s in another country, I have to admit. Good times!

sati demise April 10, 2009 at 6:20 pm

Well, you dont just give it away for free.

Its a fucking valuable thing.

gjdodger April 10, 2009 at 7:13 pm

We didn’t pay 37 million zlotys for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there.
That was one of the sentences they had us translate in Polish 201 at U-M.
Actually, I was there, in 1990. I never tire of this story–it was 2,900 zlotys to the dollar at the time, and a member of our group was offered a special deal for $50. He tried to rip the dealer off by slipping a $2 bill in for a $20, but when he got the wad of currency, after the first couple of 10,000 notes they were all 2 and 5 zlotys, which literally weren’t worth the paper they were printed on.

Brendan M. April 10, 2009 at 7:53 pm

[re=286661]Doglessliberal[/re]: You’re goddamn right! If Ernie doesn’t put a ring on that finger, what should Bert do? It will be recognized in D.C. and New York, and they can do the ceremony in Des Moines.

MGBYG April 10, 2009 at 8:51 pm

Warning, sciencey kinda stuff:

http://www.livescience.com/bestimg/index.php?url=&cat=gayanimals

They’re fucking everywhere…haha my little funny

Custerwolf April 10, 2009 at 9:26 pm

[re=286868]MGBYG[/re]: And one for teh gheys coffee table is “Biological Exhuberence.”

sanantonerose April 10, 2009 at 9:41 pm

[re=286597]Custerwolf[/re]: Priceless.

hobospacejunkie April 11, 2009 at 4:42 am

[re=286586]Doglessliberal[/re]: italics…or, like Babar…

Is that one B or two?

Bruno April 11, 2009 at 4:44 am

These zealots need to think about one of their little beliefs: “When God gives you a lemon, make lemonaide”. Think out of the box people.

How about making a 37m zloty gay animal exhibition. I’ll bet most of Wonkette would like to check that shit out.

Or if you’re really against the gayz, you can have a 37m zloty gay animal re-education center. There must be lots of other animal owners around the world in a similar predicament.

hobospacejunkie April 11, 2009 at 4:48 am

[re=286586]Doglessliberal[/re]: Take two and……or, like Babar…

Is that one B or two?

Come here a minute April 12, 2009 at 12:09 am

[re=286923]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Two — just not next to each other.

Captain Swing April 13, 2009 at 5:24 am

[re=286922]Bruno[/re]: Or, they could sell the trunker to the next circus to hit town, and spend the zlotys converting the elephant house into a hoare house, with a secret VIP entrance- That would no doubt shut this twerp up.

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