• February 13, 2012
  • COMMENCE ‘CRYPTIC PHONE DRIVE-BYS IN HIPPIE COMMUNES’ PHASE OF TEABAGGING REVOLUTION: Left-wing communist and likely herbivore “CB” writes: “I know this is only a minor event, especially because I’m sure millions of people got this phone call. But I need to vent. Yesterday I got a call, and a friendly male voice recording informed me about the ‘Teabag Movement’ going on an advised me to ‘Please take note.’ Thanks to wonderful Wonkette, I am fully informed about this lame-ass ‘movement.’ I’m in Berkeley, for f…s sake. What are they thinking?” Hmm. Must be the teabagger perv-bot’s fetish. Like in that movie where Philip Seymour Hoffman’s character calls random ladies in the phone book and shouts nonsense while violently masturbating.

{ 32 comments }

TGY April 17, 2009 at 2:16 pm

Whatever happened to the old ‘Captain Crunch in a box’ line? That much wittier.

ohiolobbyist April 17, 2009 at 2:17 pm

Patch Adams?

ManchuCandidate April 17, 2009 at 2:21 pm

“Philip Seymour Hoffman’s character calls Limpbaugh/O’Falafal/Insanity’s radio show and shouts nonsense while violently masturbating.”

Corrected.

dijetlo April 17, 2009 at 2:21 pm

“while violently masturbating.”
Is there another way?

ChernobylSoup April 17, 2009 at 2:22 pm

Phillip Seymour Hoffman made a movie about me?

PomPom April 17, 2009 at 2:24 pm

[re=293148]ohiolobbyist[/re]: Scent of a Woman: The Director’s Cut

shortsshortsshorts April 17, 2009 at 2:27 pm

To be fair, our Mormon Temple is in Oakland, right next to Berkeley. So YOU KNOW, Conservatism is strong and stuffs.

Lionel Hutz Esq. April 17, 2009 at 2:31 pm

I’m pretty sure that a “teabagging movement” is now illegal in Oregon without a sign permission slip.

NutGobbler April 17, 2009 at 2:34 pm

Who knew that spooge was such a powerful adhesive?

Hooray For Anything April 17, 2009 at 2:34 pm

Maybe it was a push poll?

Bearbloke April 17, 2009 at 2:35 pm

[re=293157]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Is that the Mor(m)on Temple across the street from Steamworks? I hear those young Mor(m)on men really, really like to proselytize there…

Internally valid April 17, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Is it drive-bys or drives-by? Like passersby, attorneys general, or pedophiles Republican.

SayItWithWookies April 17, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Sounds like the Craigslist 2M4M phone tree is up and running.

wonderboom April 17, 2009 at 2:40 pm

“Bag of Tea” is the new “Sack of Shit.” Try it on superiors and colleagues at work!

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! April 17, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Hahaha, suck it, Berkeley, that’s what get for not being Santa Cruz!

facehead April 17, 2009 at 2:42 pm

[re=293166]Hooray For Anything[/re]: If you teabag without pushing the pole, UR DOIN IT WRONG.

facehead April 17, 2009 at 2:43 pm

[re=293168]Bearbloke[/re]: I feel dickrolled.

Lascauxcaveman April 17, 2009 at 2:45 pm

Haha, that Philip Seymour Hoffman is a fine actor indeed.

I’m pretty sure, however, I do not want to see that particular movie, thank you.

keepinitrealyo April 17, 2009 at 2:47 pm

I loved that movie. Todd Solondz is a God. Or Godd.

Yaybuls April 17, 2009 at 2:48 pm

‘Teabag Movement’ sounds like a disgusting new hybrid…I think I’ll try it tonight.

Lascauxcaveman April 17, 2009 at 2:49 pm

[re=293152]dijetlo[/re]: Some people go with “feverishly” or “furiously.”

Still others, “madly” or “desperately”. But those don’t sound like much fun to me.

Hawaiiexpat April 17, 2009 at 2:55 pm

All teabag, all the time. I’m luving it.

What’s that you say Michelle Malkin?

“mmmmrghgh, mmmmgrrffff, mmmfrrfff?”

I thought so.

Dean Booth April 17, 2009 at 2:55 pm

“Teabag Movement” — that’s what happens at the end of a marijuana mule’s plane flight.

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! April 17, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Today we are all Philip Seymour Hoffman.

proudgrampa April 17, 2009 at 3:02 pm

[re=293181]keepinitrealyo[/re]: Good. Or Goodd.

PerhapsSo April 17, 2009 at 3:06 pm

The rain date for Philadelphia’s teabagging is tomorrow. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2214007/posts I’m sure that they will be shouting nonsense, but if any freepers are masturbating, I’m leaving.

zenferret April 17, 2009 at 3:15 pm

[re=293160]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: “tea bagging movement” Taking a dump on the forehead of someone sucking your balls? Ew.. Not into scat.

Min April 17, 2009 at 3:44 pm

“What are they thinking?”

Right there’s your first mistake.

schvitzatura April 17, 2009 at 4:05 pm

Wawa is having a “Win a truckload” tea sweepstakes. Origin of said tea is extremely suspect…

Lionel Hutz Esq. April 17, 2009 at 4:07 pm

[re=293221]zenferret[/re]: They you sir, are not a Republican.

Snerdley April 17, 2009 at 5:21 pm

Is that the movie where PSH huffs gasoline? I love me some Hoffman! Don’t make me pull over this car and google!!!!!

decora April 17, 2009 at 6:11 pm

i love how you put ‘philip seyour hoffman’s character’… that little ‘character’ thing on the end really lets e know it wasnt just phil out on a bender.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: