Everyone remembers Dallas, Georgia’s mayor, Boyd Austin, whose wacky friends are always fiddlin’ with his Facebook status and posting confusing jokes that are just comprehensible enough to be considered in poor taste. Boyd: be warned that there is this uneducated boomer film critic in New York who will probably write a book about you when he sees this. [Creative Loafing]
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{ 42 comments }
To give Mayor Two-names some credit at least it wasn’t a brain cancer joke.
Why does all Republican humor revolve around Chappaquiddick? Why do they always go in the way-back machine? Kids, it was over thirty years ago and there have been plenty of hookers, meth, wide-stances, Iran Contras, Vince Fosters under the bridge since then.
Wow. Maybe it’s all the 420, but reading the word Chappaquiddick over and over makes me think of all KINDS of things… oddly enough, none of them involve Ted Kennedy.
harharharharharharharharharharhar
Well I had suggested John McCain — but I think Bo is cute anyway.
[re=294582]comradepaulson[/re]: It’s a popular place to dump the bodies of male prostitutes for the GOP elite.
Oh fuck you Boyd.
When we bitters start burning richies, you and Cookie are first, nigger.
Humor. It is a difficult concept.
Agree on all. & really ready to start my 4/20 day, but five more papers to grade–and, has anybody mentioned, it’s fucking hot today.
Oh, that was all pretty much off topic wasn’t it. Dagnabbit.
Chappaquiddick. I think I was in the seventh grade when that happened…and now I’m an old!
Facebook. When just being a state disgrace is not enough.
I swear there is some kind of (mostly) high-functioning autism that affects Republican males. I call it Conservative Cockhole Syndrome or CCS. It is characterized by:
* inability to appreciate that some people were brought up in different social environments than they
* misinterpretation of disgust and outrage as a sign that they should tell more racist jokes even louder
* love of penises; denial of same
Remember when Zingers used to be delicious, cream-filled sweet cakes and not snide, tasteless digs on atavistic historical events?
Oh, the days of Pong and the Max Machine.
“Calgon, take me away.”
[re=294582]comradepaulson[/re]: That, and the meth/wide stances/Lewinsky/etc scandals are pretty funny in that the famous subjects went on lying and saying they were completely innocent until they were forced to admit the truth. (Or admit the truth and then withdraw it, in Craig’s case.) As I recall, Kennedy went to Kopechne’s funeral and was always pretty upfront about his failings. Does the humor just come from “ha-ha, you accidentally killed someone”? In the fine tradition of Taxachusetts Librul Humor, that comes even below “John Kerry is a faggy Frenchman loserface” and “Barney Frank is a GAY and he loves men and has sex with them, men I mean, totally homo sex 24/7″.
Isn’t Bo some kind of boyd dog?
Why not a joke about the guy Laura Bush killed with her car?
“Since Laura Bush gave you that dog, shouldn’t you name it “1,” as in, the number of guys she’s killed with her car?”
[re=294639]Scarab[/re]: His name was Michael Douglas – it would be too confusing.
Ha, ha! He should change his name to Dealey Austin, cause Dealey Plaza is where a Dallas resident murdered Sen. Kennedy’s brother!
[re=294658]chascates[/re]: I realize it’s Dallas, Georgia, but I couldn’t think of anything else.
Boyd AUSTIN is the mayor of DALLAS, Georgia?
Mr. Mayor, Texas is beginning to suspect you’re a little sweet on its brand of stupid.
How lucky for them, Jan Murray is their mayor.
tl;dr
City of Dallas (GA) official Interwebs brochure page provides this nugget of revealing demographic information:
The 1990 Census indicates that in Dallas, 48.2% of the adult population (25 years of age and older) were high school graduates or higher and 5% of the adult population held a bachelor’s degree or higher. Statewide, 70.9% of the adult population were high school graduates or higher and 19.3% held a bachelor’s degree or higher.
Explains a lot.
[re=294624]tiny mexican[/re]: Har, I read that last sentence as “Barney Frank is a GAY and he loves meth”.
Republican humor is pretty much limited to Barney Frank/gay jokes and Ted Kennedy drunk/Chappaquiddick quips. For some reason the Monica/cigar stuff fell out of favor. Erm, yes.
I hope all 12 of the feedbacks were some variant of “You’re a dickhead cracker shit-for-brains.”
[re=294582]comradepaulson[/re]: Maybe because of the word “dick.” I’m just sayin’!
Teddy doesn’t put water in his scotch. That’s only for the sober cab. What’s this guy smoking? Oh, it’s 420? That makes sense.
[re=294624]tiny mexican[/re]: Every time that some wingnut acquaintance makes some variant on that joke, I go “Har Har, that SURE WAS a tragic accident! Har har har!” Then they look at me like *I’m* the asshole that told a joke about someone being killed in a car wreck.
Would somebody please lock this idiot, Joe the plumber, and octomom in a room please? Then burn it.
[re=294582]comradepaulson[/re]: More like forty years ago, I think – at least a good decade before I was born, and I’m pushing 30. Gotta find a new scandal, righties… an increasingly large percentage of voters were born long after Chappaquiddick.
Given his unusual upbringing, Boyd Austin is doing the best he can. When your dad is Steve Austin and your mom is Pattie Austin, it puts a ton of stress into your life. Let’s face it, they’re a tough act to follow, and he perhaps feels a bit more needy than we are comfortable with.
It was ’69, I believe. The summer of Woodstock and the 1st moon landing.
How about a Portugese Water Boarder Collie?
[re=294792]Hawaiiexpat[/re]: can we make a reality show of it? “I’m a douchebag, light a match”.
[re=294840]skutre[/re]: Win.
[re=294838]gurukalehuru[/re]: The same weekend as the moon landing, in fact. Talk about stealing someone’s thunder…
When the Witch of Wasilla makes her run in 2012, she will probably have this numb nuts warm up the crowd for her when she comes a’calling. In terms of wit, intelligence and dignity, he will no doubt set precisely the right tone for the evening of sophisticated political discourse that will follow…
I un-friend anyone who gets political on Facebook. Shut up with that shit and just talk about what you ate for dinner or how your dog is crapping, right now.
I thought he meant Chappy like his lips and nut-sack. I assumed he just got back to Podunk from one of them their ginormous Tea Bagging orgies.
Boyd Austin is such a gay porn star name.
And he has 741 Friends on Facebook, and not one Negro face among them.
I sent him another great Ted Kennedy joke:
I hope someone you love gets brain cancer. Hahahahaha!
This explains why small town mayors have suitable experience for national public office
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