• February 14, 2012

The RNC resolutions committee has… what is this… gone to the brink of executing some majestically stupid national-embarrassment stunt and PULLED BACK? Why it appears that the liberal rapper, Michael Steele, is ruining everyone’s fun: “Members of the Republican National Committee today have shelved a proposal to name the Democratic Party… the Democrat Socialist Party. In an agreement today, two RNC members who were sponsoring the resolution at a party assembly today said they had agreed to change the resolution’s language to urge Americans to oppose what the GOP is calling the Democrats’ ‘socialist’ agenda.” This came after Steele issued a memo opposing the renaming because it would “accomplish little than to give the media and our opponents the opportunity to mischaracterize Republicans.” Hey Michael, SSSSHHHH. Stop spilling secrets! We need the JOKES, baby. [The Swamp]

{ 49 comments }

Jukesgrrl May 20, 2009 at 6:15 pm

I have two words for you: Spiro Agnew. He was from Maryland, too, wasn’t he?

Hooray For Anything May 20, 2009 at 6:16 pm

God damnit, Michael Steele– why’d you have to pick just this moment to become self-aware?

SayItWithWookies May 20, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Steele issued a memo opposing the renaming because it would “accomplish little than to give the media and our opponents the opportunity to mischaracterize Republicans.”

After such a moderate move, nobody will ever have a reason to call the Republican party an enclave of elitist, pro-business, fiscally irresponsible, mugwump-fomenting, inquisitorial, dogmatic, trollish authoritarian pigs ever again.

ManchuCandidate May 20, 2009 at 6:17 pm

I can mischaracterize Repubs.

The Republican Party: A party of national security, fiscal responsibility, responsible leadership and family values.

norbizness May 20, 2009 at 6:18 pm

He must have found a “Homey Don’t Play Dat” motion in his dogeared copy of Robert’s Rules of Order.

jimmynail May 20, 2009 at 6:20 pm

That picture makes me shed a little patriotic tear. Out of me nob.

V572625694 May 20, 2009 at 6:20 pm

“Members of the Republican National Committee today have shelved a proposal to name the Democratic Party… the Democrat Socialist Party.”

The Republicans get to name the other party? Okay, I hereby propose renaming the Republican Party the Child-Fucking, Bribe-Taking, Economy-Destroying, Pointless-War Party, which would be abbreviated CFBTEDPW Party. Any seconds for my motion?

DC Hates Me May 20, 2009 at 6:21 pm

Socialism is just a fancy french word used for selling guns to transexual farm midgets.

shortsshortsshorts May 20, 2009 at 6:23 pm

The Republican FUCKING IDIOT Party.

populucious May 20, 2009 at 6:25 pm

Damn, I was looking forward to the Repubs doing this prompting the Dems to re-name the RNC the Fundie Facist Psycho-Billy Party.

shortsshortsshorts May 20, 2009 at 6:32 pm

The Republican BOY FUCKING Party.

iwillsavethispatient May 20, 2009 at 6:33 pm

Actually, stopping this has created “the opportunity to mischaracterize Republicans”. If they had gone ahead with it, people could have simply characterized them.

stew May 20, 2009 at 6:35 pm

it was better than the original suggestion: The Gay, Baby-Killing, Muslim-Loving, Nazi, Communist, Anal-Probing Alien, Makes Baby Jesus Cry, Manson Family, Democrat Party.

grevillea May 20, 2009 at 6:41 pm

What about the allied motion to rename Obama “President Stupid-Head”? Still in committee?

x111e7thst May 20, 2009 at 6:42 pm

Is that “pulled back” or “pulled out”? ‘Cause the interruptus is not as necessary when buttsecksin’.

wonderboom May 20, 2009 at 6:43 pm

who has been slipping Michael Steele smart-pills?! Dammit, I wanna know! Cuz he’s almost there..!

americanscandoanything May 20, 2009 at 6:48 pm

so Sammy Davis Jr has persuaded the Rat PAC to “play it cool”

DoctorCulturae May 20, 2009 at 6:49 pm

Lots of good suggestions here. But why not something simple, concise, and direct like the Rush Party?

He does and will continue to influence the wingnut base who fortunately won’t go away. And the name carries with it implications of those madcap fraternity sign-up parties for 18 year olds, promises of limitless beer, and excellent opportunities for bambi acquisition…

Naw. Kiddie Noodling Party or as mentioned previously is superior. Sorry Colin wannabes. I tried.

Mike Steele May 20, 2009 at 6:52 pm

I am Michael Steele, as you can see, above. I did not grant my permission to rename the Democrat Party. However, I would like to announce the launch of a vibrant new branch of the Republican Party, ROAM – Republican One Armed Midgets. Like Log Cabin Republicans and Black Republicans, ROAM will be characterized by clarity of vision and the absence of any sense of self loathing.

I will be adding more valuable voices to the new Big Tent Republican Party in days and weeks to come, like BLUSH – Black and Latino Urban Suburban Hoppers, so that WE WILL RETAKE THE HEEZY AND SIZZLE in 2010. Peace out, for now. Stay tuned.

Professor Proffy McProfalton, Prof. May 20, 2009 at 6:52 pm

[re=321737]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Just a day before Skynet! New Terminator opens tomorrow midnight! w00t! Oh. Nevermind.

SlouchingTowardsWasilla May 20, 2009 at 6:52 pm

These dolts can’t figure out the diffence between naming something and name-calling. Finding a solution to a global economic crisis is, pretty fucking obviously, out of the question.

slappypaddy May 20, 2009 at 6:55 pm

[re=321742]V572625694[/re]: the motion is seconded. all in favor say ‘aye.’

Fox n Fiends May 20, 2009 at 6:55 pm

know why redneck conservative retards hate “socialism”? its due to all the soft “S” sounds. if they’d called it “krukkill” instead we’d have had health care reform decades ago.

shortsshortsshorts May 20, 2009 at 6:55 pm

The Republican LEMON Party

kthxbai...also May 20, 2009 at 7:03 pm

[re=321742]V572625694[/re]: you forgot “intelligence denying”

mollymcgwire May 20, 2009 at 7:10 pm

Next from the RNC: a picture of Michael Steel letting a small child rub his head. The child asked to see if Mr. Steele’s head “feels like my butt.”

TeddyS May 20, 2009 at 7:14 pm

But I have already changed my party registration to Democrat Socialist. So now I will go back to the registrar’s office and change it to Republican Fool.

Blender May 20, 2009 at 7:36 pm

GODFUCKINGDAMMITSHITASSMONKEYPISS!!!!

I’m still using “Democrat Socialist,” no matter WHAT those gutless punks at the RNC say. Pussies.

finallyhappy May 20, 2009 at 7:39 pm

what, there is still a Republican party?

President Beeblebrox May 20, 2009 at 7:49 pm

[re=321772]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: More like the Republican Meatspin…

assistant/atlas May 20, 2009 at 7:50 pm

[re=321765]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Hmmm…calling it the Rush Party could actually give them a new base of pro-Canadian prog-rock fans. And perhaps OxyContin addicts, two groups which should be part of the Democratic base, methinks.

Let’s just call them the Mouth-Breathing, War-Mongering Kid-Toucher Party….or maybe we could go old-school and just called them the “Know Nothings”. Either way, I haven’t been this excited about nomenclature since Ben & Jerry’s had their name-the-new-flavor contest!

CapnFatback May 20, 2009 at 7:51 pm

And they celebrated the finalizing of the new agreement over a heapin’ platter of Freedom Fries.

Lascauxcaveman May 20, 2009 at 8:11 pm

I suppose calling them the Republican Imperial Robber Baron Party grants them too much dignity?

Naw, that sounds almost-cool.

Also, not very accurate, since most of their current members are drooling southern Limbaugh fans and bigoted bible spice types.

the problem child May 20, 2009 at 8:16 pm

[re=321821]assistant/atlas[/re]: Yup, Rush fans, definitely Democrat Socialists. And literate & numerate, too.

the problem child May 20, 2009 at 8:18 pm

[re=321821]assistant/atlas[/re]: Some mouthbreathers, though.

Toomush Infermashun May 20, 2009 at 9:14 pm

I’s not so much a Republican Party anymore, anyway… more like one of those afternoon sessions at the bar after your golf game tanked, with warm, expensive but domestic beer… a Republican Hangover! I’m trademarking this for Michael Steele….

SideshowCarny May 20, 2009 at 9:28 pm

The Standing at the Back Dressed Stupidly and Looking Stupid Party?
The American Socialist White People’s Party?

FreedomPoodle May 20, 2009 at 10:13 pm

A party needs some music.
Here is my modest proposeal of an anthem for the new Democrat Socialist Party
http://folk.ntnu.no/makarov/temporary_url_20070929kldcg/internationale-en-the_new_singers.mp3
And for the new Popular Republican Party
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd583TX_eRg

Joshua Norton May 20, 2009 at 10:40 pm

You can’t spell “Socialism” with Cialis. Think about it.

SayItWithWookies May 20, 2009 at 10:51 pm

[re=321833]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: The First American Church of the Badass Rich Jesus Party. I was thinking Angry in place of Badass, but then realized that most conservatives don’t think of themselves as angry. But with badass in it, it’s a name even they would like.

Joshua Norton May 20, 2009 at 11:11 pm

[re=321922]Joshua Norton[/re]: Ack! I meant *without* Cialis.

How’s come we don’t get an edit feature. Balloon Juice is on the same provider and they have it. Attica! Attica!

engulfedinflames May 20, 2009 at 11:11 pm

the we want more of what we like and less of what we don’t want unless we have to pay for what someone else wants party of guns and sunday school.

Johnny Zhivago May 21, 2009 at 12:12 am

Could ANY mischaracterization of the Republican party be any worse than their current self-characterization?

dementor May 21, 2009 at 12:48 am

Why do English socialist policemen have (apparently circumcised) penis noses?

gurukalehuru May 21, 2009 at 1:14 am

[re=321742]V572625694[/re]: Consider it seconded.

Mr Blifil May 21, 2009 at 3:02 am

Whatever caused the Republican strategists to shift their Republican strategery, Michael “Thick With Oreos” Steele had nothing to do with it.

Bruno May 21, 2009 at 3:14 am

Can they rebrand the GOP the Republican (white) Nationalist Party?

Mustang May 21, 2009 at 11:17 am

The reason they rejected Democratic Socialist Party was that they came up with a better name. Big Stinky Butt Jerkface Everybody Hates You Party.

AllHat May 21, 2009 at 11:33 am

I’m not sure what socialism is, exactly, but I know I hate it!

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