• February 13, 2012

WIN OF THE AFTERNOON: Wonkette is, above all else, an American Values Blog, and the only American Value that’s not gay is this one: after maniacally firebombing a population, always be sure to airmail a few insufficient aid packages in the general direction of the starving, terrorized refugee masses. That being said, Wonkette will now become the first blog in Internet history to institute a daily feature called “comment of the day,” to reward the day’s Best Comment, as determined by Algebra. We will keep track of how many times individual commenters have won this important award, and at some point when some commenter reaches some number of wins he or she will win some magnificent prize or something. (A liquidation-priced Chrysler SUV?) OH, YOU’RE WELCOME. Today’s winner is…

Potentially new “punny” commenter “charlesdegoal” — a foot-ball fan! — for pointing out the one possible flaw in that Pajamas Media guy’s important column about invading the world:

Why not cut to the chase and immediately drop Donald Rumsfeld on North Korea? No pacifistic beating around the bush with those miscreants.

*This* would seriously mess up Kim’s feng shui.

Now go ahead and bitch about how you disagree, in the comments!

{ 58 comments }

user-of-owls June 3, 2009 at 6:26 pm

Oh sure, Comment of the Afternoon. Damned PMists. No AM, no peace!

Larry Fine June 3, 2009 at 6:27 pm

This is a great addition to your web site. I will look forward to it every day.

NYNYNY June 3, 2009 at 6:27 pm

Did you just pick a comment at random?

assistant/atlas June 3, 2009 at 6:28 pm

Mostly because I hate Lindsay Graham, but I would’ve voted for this:

[re=331345]doxastic[/re]: I believe Lindsay Graham does have the heterosexual capacity, but there is a character problem, there is a temperament problem.

Fox n Fiends June 3, 2009 at 6:29 pm

i’d prefer you land Bruno’s ass in his/her face

Words June 3, 2009 at 6:29 pm

Are you bringing back Stars to commentators as the grand prize?

memzilla June 3, 2009 at 6:30 pm

Who’s reading these comments? There’s just no end to the abuse you put the new interns through, is there?

boatapple June 3, 2009 at 6:31 pm

That’s not bad, I guess. Hey Jim, why haven’t you put up the gay wedding cake pic for New Hampshire yet?

chascates June 3, 2009 at 6:32 pm

Rumsfelding North Korea would terminate the problem but be forever regarded as a war crime and genocide on our part.

WadISay June 3, 2009 at 6:33 pm

Geeze, the wording around the award seal looks like it was cut out of the newspaper for blackmail. And the eagle should be holding a “+1″ in one talon and bag of Cheetos in the other.

Packherd June 3, 2009 at 6:34 pm

I disagree, in the comments!

Min June 3, 2009 at 6:35 pm

It’s a fine comment, although a surprising choice in light of the balls-to-the-wall hilarity/vulgarity of the furry thread.

shortsshortsshorts June 3, 2009 at 6:35 pm

I DISAGREE. I don’t know why, but MAN DO I.

There aren’t enough credits given to those who begin a thread with “First!”

thefrontpage June 3, 2009 at 6:37 pm

Word is that Donald Rumsfeld is now the new Director of Security at that big nightclub off of New York Avenue, the one near the old Hecht’s warehouse.

Lord Growing June 3, 2009 at 6:38 pm

The best comment of the day was as follows:

Custerworlf: ” “

dennymcden June 3, 2009 at 6:41 pm

I wonder if you combine this post with its Wonder-Twin post about banning folks, if Newell turns into some sort of dragon, and SKS morphs into a body of water.

Colander June 3, 2009 at 6:42 pm

Will these serve as open threads where we can defame and slander the winner?

facehead June 3, 2009 at 6:44 pm

[re=331501]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I’ll give you the highly coveted comment of 6:35pm award.

Just mail a picture of yourself (naked) to:

Bristol Palin Fan Club
P.O. Box 17
Moosecock, ALASKA 90210

Dave J. June 3, 2009 at 6:44 pm

I really do disagree, and will consider linking you to my blog post in which I disagree with much vehemence.

One Yield Regular June 3, 2009 at 6:49 pm

I cast my vote for assistant/atlas, not only for having picked a better comment above (um, better in the sense of a comment that might not have had that life), but also for having had the indecency to post a link to South of the Border.

x111e7thst June 3, 2009 at 6:50 pm

Algebra is inherently unfair and non trancendent. Geomancy and dowsing must be employed to determin the comment of the day.

rambone June 3, 2009 at 6:51 pm

[re=331504]Lord Growing[/re]: The silence has been deafening, and welcome. Ass-fucking. Also.

rereridiculous June 3, 2009 at 6:53 pm

[re=331504]Lord Growing[/re]: Don’t be silly. I preferred his succinct brilliance in this quote ” “.

Blender June 3, 2009 at 6:54 pm

Well, of COURSE you give the prize to someone just because they speak FOREIGNER, you America-hating commie appeasers.

user-of-owls June 3, 2009 at 6:56 pm

[re=331504]Lord Growing[/re]: [re=331518]rambone[/re]: Smells like…victory!

qwerty42 June 3, 2009 at 7:00 pm

Wonkette is, above all else, an American Values Blog…
I shall treasure this.

Hooray For Anything June 3, 2009 at 7:06 pm

Does the winner get a free day to talk about their sex life, post links to photos of themselves, and update everyone about what they’re doing?

Madeline June 3, 2009 at 7:14 pm

I would comment, but what’s the point; today’s contest has already been won.

Blender June 3, 2009 at 7:15 pm

[re=331537]Hooray For Anything[/re]:

No. The real prize is they get to be strapped to a chair and forced to motorboat Peggy Noonan.

paintitblack June 3, 2009 at 7:15 pm

But I thought the whole purpose of the comments was to snarkily disagree w/everything. So you’re asking us to agree w/something that we are honor-bound (bein’ ‘murkin valus types heer) to disagree with snarily. I vote for: ME first! Isn’t that the numero uno ‘murkin valus anyhoo?

NoWireHangers June 3, 2009 at 7:17 pm

An award every day? Next you’re going to tell me that some people eat twice a day. Fancy elitist bastards.

katrina June 3, 2009 at 7:47 pm

Wonkette Comment W I N of the Evening goes to:

Hooray For Anything
“Does the winner get a free day to talk about their sex life, post links to photos of themselves, and update everyone about what they’re doing?”

octupletsmom June 3, 2009 at 7:53 pm

Look for Jim, Ken and Sara to pass the award around to each other. Surely y’all know the meaning of “house rules!”

YesWeKant June 3, 2009 at 7:56 pm

American values blog?? I thought Wonkette was a war blog. Was there a memo that I missed?

IceCreamEmpress June 3, 2009 at 7:59 pm

I for one am delighted to see my comment becoming a meme.

Nurtz June 3, 2009 at 7:59 pm

Rumsfeld wouldn’t last a week in North Korea. There’s lots of good eatin’ on ol’ Rummy, and they’re a hungry people, there! Now Cheney, that’s a different story …

largefoot June 3, 2009 at 8:07 pm

Who is Algebra, and where can I send the bribe?

ALIVE! June 3, 2009 at 8:38 pm

[re=331613]YesWeKant[/re]: I fail to see the distinction.

Wet Blanket June 3, 2009 at 8:38 pm

well that’s a relief. after the day’s winner is picked, the fierce competition to be funny will end. comment whores be sad.

RoscoePColtraine June 3, 2009 at 8:55 pm

Well I am perpetually fucked; algebra and I have never gotten along. I still do addition and subtraction with my fingers. I’m a dumb gay jock.

19kevin8 June 3, 2009 at 9:57 pm

[re=331500]Min[/re]: I think I may have lost my job because of that thread.

Trace June 3, 2009 at 10:19 pm

I hate competitions where I don’t win, so I’m sitting this one out.

Rush June 3, 2009 at 10:53 pm

The best comment is a fucking valuable thing – you don’t just…

lawrenceofthedesert June 3, 2009 at 10:59 pm

Yesterday the stick, today the carrot.

S.Luggo June 3, 2009 at 11:11 pm

The figure in the center of emblem: a valiant, endangered bald eagle about to be made Saint Sebastian by razor-sharp arrows of Socilaista snark.
I don’t know about you, but I can accept that.
Unless this comment is blocked.

Lazy Media June 3, 2009 at 11:40 pm

Worst logo typography EVER.

norbizness June 4, 2009 at 12:11 am

I’m going to start an alternative award, wherein I award a 15-cent coupon off of an industrial size bowl of dicks from Sam’s Wholesale Club for the person who consistently ignores my mostly unwritten, comment-related edicts.

bago June 4, 2009 at 1:47 am

See, this is what the internet is about. Convincing people to make readable content for you for free!

charlesdegoal June 4, 2009 at 2:33 am

France 1, Rest of the World 0 (at half time)

Mr Blifil June 4, 2009 at 3:38 am

I thought if you use “win” you get banhammered until anal bleeding is acheived, what gives?

remembers when Wonkette was funny June 4, 2009 at 9:14 am

Can we drop North Korea on Donald Rumsfeld?

Anita Cocktail June 4, 2009 at 9:24 am

Ah, once again, something to strive for! Thank you, Wonkette, for giving my life the meaning that was so patently missing ’til now.

zenferret June 4, 2009 at 10:23 am

So glad to not see 4chan crap dominating here any more.

I prefer my snark literate. Well at least with words.

AfghanVet June 4, 2009 at 11:22 am

Shukran

Serious June 4, 2009 at 11:44 am

The last thing these commenters need is a reason to try harder.

NopantsMcGee June 4, 2009 at 1:03 pm

I didn’t know we were gonna get graded when I joined this thing.

frumious_bandersnatch June 4, 2009 at 1:40 pm

I understood there would be no math…

CreationSchwarzkopfPalin June 4, 2009 at 3:28 pm

I think we’re all winners here. Except for that ass that won. He sucks.

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