- WHAT IF SHE LEGISLATES FROM THE BENCH AGAINST AVERAGE EVERYDAY WHITE GUYS, SUCH AS U.S. SENATORS? Lindsay Graham, for serious? We already know he has told Sonia Sotomayor, QUITE FRANKLY, that he has hated her passionately since the dawn of time. But here is another nice detail, from the senator, about why he despises her so much: “he indicated that her past statements raise concerns that, as a Supreme Court justice, she may not treat white males fairly. ‘Being an average, everyday white guy, that doesn’t exactly make me feel good,’ Graham said.” [Roll Call]
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Authors
Jim Newell (5418)
Wonkette Jr. (623)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (796)
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Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 76 comments }
Let’s just hope that white males eventually rise up from their horrible oppression and the institutionalized racism/sexism put in place by the ruling Latina class and achieve great things. Who knows, maybe some day a white male might become a Supreme Court justice!
None of this would have ever happened if only the high school quarterback back at Huckleberry High had accepted Lindsay’s offer for a rimjob.
Luckily for LG, everything else about being an average, everyday white guy is pretty awesome. Historical perspective, yay!
Average? In your damp creepy dreams Lindsay.
Jesus Christ. Lindsey Graham clearly does not understand satire, even when using it on himself.
I’m only white some days.
Yeah, like he’s an average, everyday white guy! He’s not even an average, everyday, white U.S. Senator.
I didn’t realize that “an average, everyday white guy” was slightly effeminate and had what “some” might consider a girls name, Lindsey.
At last, the rich white man gets the upper hand!
I’m a white guy and the most oppression I’ve ever had has come from *other* white guys. Usually known as Republitards. Also known as douchebags, c***suckers, f***tards, pedobears, corporate a**holes, etc.
Black and Hispanic guys rob you with a gun and they go to jail. White guys rob you with a pen and they get a fine. Or a seat in Congress. Or a Fox News consultancy.
I think I would like to be ruled by a class of fiery latinas.
Fiery latinas, call me. Just call me, ok?
‘Being an average, everyday white guy, that doesn’t exactly make me feel good,’ Graham said.
Doing an average, everyday white guy, OTOH…
This man just makes me tired. I wonder if there’s a strong, confident, experienced woman of color in his life who could slap him upside the head, just on principle.
Joe Walsh should sue for $1 trillion in punitive damages, or at least enough to repossess that smug little grin that peppers Lindsay’s face even when the Senators being an epic douchewad (98.8% of his waking hours).
Appealing to average people never works: we all believe that we’re above average in something or other (such as our sense of humor).
Hmmm. Obviously, I missed the part of the Constitution that gives authority to SCOTUS judges to raise a standing army and drag people out of their homes in the dead of night to God-only-knows-where. Cool perk.
If she somehow manages to merengue her way onto the bench, the only thing stopping her from implementing the Lesbocracy of Nueva Aztlan will be… the other six White Males in the court.
God help us all.
Graham is such a bigot. Presuming that because he’s an everyday angry closeted homosexual then everyday white guys on average are angry closeted homosexuals. Shame on you Lindsay for your poor math skills.
P.S. What’s making you not feel good is your self-repression.
Average white guys take fair treatment very seriously. They’re very sensitive to people using racial or sexual qualifications over merit — other than whiteness or maleness, that is.
Yeah, Lins, things sure haven’t been the same since that damn Emancipation thing.
Lisa: It’s awful being a kid. No one listens to you.
Grandpa: It’s rotten being old. No one listens to you.
Homer: I’m a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me — no matter how dumb my suggestions are [pulls out a "nuts and gum" mixture, starts chomping].
WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE AVERAGE, EVERYDAY WHITE GUYS?!?!
WHAT IF SHE LEGISLATES FROM THE BENCH AGAINST AVERAGE EVERYDAY WHITE GUYS, SUCH AS U.S. SENATORS !!~!!
She might force them to wear buttplugs. Because she is racist. Ummmmmmmmm. Maybe Linds would be ok with that.
[re=332014]Min[/re]: There is, but he only sees Mistress Ebony on the second and fourth Tuesdays of the month.
‘Being an average, everyday white guy, that doesn’t exactly make me feel good’ said Lindsay Graham’s great grandpappy, upon reading the Emancipation Proclamation. Coincidentally, this is ALSO what Graham’s grandfather said of the women’s suffrage movement, what his father said about the Voting Rights Act, and what Lindsay himself was said to have whispered upon seeing the results of the 2008 presidential election. So lighten up guys, he’s had a hard 150 years.
In a previous job where I spoke with idiots on the phone, I had a man lament his fate as a “dinosaur”. He went on to elaborate that as a blue collar, white man without a college degree, things like affirmative action, minorities, women, and the pressure to be “p.c.” were threatening his way of life and very existence, but he’d be damned if he was going to change for anyone.
10 bucks says that when Sotomayor first entered his office, he thought she was there to get the trash.
106 of 110 Supreme Court Justices have been white males. One of the other 4 is Clarence Thomas. Yikes.
That being said, my safety as a white male has clearly been compromised by the Sotomayor nomination. Time to buy lots of ammo and canned meat for the Latinapocalypse.
I thought you guys made up that last sentence about being an “average, everyday white guy”. Jesus.
Oh white man, so misunderstood, so downtrodden, so marginalized that you have only been able to historically hold pretty much every elected office ever in the history of America
I just heard some sad news on talk radio – Senator Lindsay Graham was found gay in his Alexandria, VA home this morning. There weren’t any more details. I’m sure everyone in the Wonkette community will miss him – even if you didn’t enjoy his work, there’s no denying his contributions to loafers and true American patriotism. Truly an American icon.
It is well known that here in South Carolina, all average everyday white guys are wealthy closet cases with girl’s names and HUGE crushes on mantastic flyboys like John McCain.
Every day, white guys are getting unfair treatment. Lindsey just likes the old white guy unfair treatment better than the Latina unfair treatment.
[re=332014]Min[/re]: My above-average white-guy spouse looks at Lindsay and says “that man doesn’t know any people of color.”
[re=332038]Mark Sanford[/re]: Other than “wealthy”, isn’t that pretty much true?
Well, my real first name is actually Ashleigh.
[re=332031]NoWireHangers[/re]:
Yeah. Lots of cognitive dissonance there. Especially when a lot of that “type” ironically demand that everyone else change but them.
Oh, Lindsey is really going to feel uncomfortable when Sotomayor is a member of SCOTUS and is called to write a majority opion on the case of Brown vs. Average Everyday White Guy.
I am SICK of these monkeyfighting Senators being Monday-to-Friday white guys.
I’m more of a fleshy, light peach color.
[re=332040]octupletsmom[/re]: I’m sure a few swarthy Adonises have known him.
Sonia Sotomayor can sit on her porch and listen to Lindsay Graham’s sweet singin’ in de ebnin’: (Nobody Knows the Truffles I Seen).
‘Being an average, everyday white guy, that doesn’t exactly make me feel good,’ Graham said.” Well, Linds, you’re NOT that. You’re a smirking, smarmy closet case, and THAT’s why you don’t “feel good.” Girly-boy Linds is in tizzy bc that LaRaza Sotomajor has more cojones than he does.
FTA: “I’m not doing the country any good looking back playing a game of tit for tat. But I’m not going to put my party at a disadvantage if this is the way the game is played,” Graham said.
I wonder if the other 37 Republicans agree or cringe when he’s saying this stuff to maintain party loyalty. No one’s having any secret Republican gay love; after this stupidity from Graham, their side of the aisle might be too puckered for penetration.
geeze, the endless whiny complaints. Yesterday the whine was they couldn’t tell racist jokes (well, this was a white woman, but …), now they’re worried about white males being treated fairly. The cruel knout of oppression. How did these guys ever get to be in charge of anything?
So with this reasoning, whites may feel uncomfortable being represented by non-whites, but non-whites should be perfectly fine with having an historically white group of judges representing their interests?
It is just getting SO interesting to watch an older generation scramble to deal with the idea that White male privilege is on its way out. The country is filled with all kinds of (EQUAL) people. We look different,worship differently, love different people, but we are all equal. Younger people are getting this concept.
May not treat white males fairly? You mean she’s not gonna force us into back-breaking involuntary servitude for 400 years and then begrudgingly grant us the right to be second-class citizens for a few decades more, and then fill prisons up with us and continue to blame us for all the problems in the country? Screw that, I demand fairness!
Today, we are all average, everyday white guys.
[re=332028]Chad San Marino[/re]: Clarence wears the robe the other days not the heels.
Today we’re all average white guys. No really, we’re not. But don’t worry Lindz, your kind are still plenty popular at the Union Station men’s room.
poor Real America, poor poor Real America.
It’s a sad day in America when everyday white men can’t get a break. Stick it to the little Latina woman!
Gonna need affirmative action programs for whites, ASAP.
POSSIBLE SLOGANS:
“WASPS, THE OTHER WHITE MEAT.”
“WHITES, THEY’RE NOT ALL MORMOM.”
“JESUS LOVES ALL THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD, INCLUDING WHITES.”
“SEPARATE BUT EQUAL.”
today, we are all average, everyday white guys
There is an organization for like-minded white Southern men which Lindsey should look into joining. I am confident he can find a chapter in South Carolina.
damn you smashtheduck, I will ban myself now
The real question is how she will legislate against the Average White Band. Will she respect precedent and deem them a R&B/Funk band? Will she legislate from the bench and determine they are disco or proto-disco? As always it will be the average whites on the court who Pick Up the Pieces of her disastrous rulings.
As Chairman of the RNC… well some days I just feel like quitting my fucking job. So many assholes. I know that I have promised to Expand the Party, but if I could have a free hand to purge, say about 80% of our membership, then I think we could start over without so much shit caked to our shoe.
[re=332066]facehead[/re]: Today, we are all Biffs.
[re=332057]qwerty42[/re]: They got into power because that it how fucked up our country is. Had you not noticed?
[re=332032]4tehlulz[/re]: He then asked her to sing her hit, “I’m Every Woman”.
[re=332060]Capricatony[/re]: Thank you. Perfectly expressed.
[re=332066]facehead[/re]: Or, “HAVE YOUR GIRL CALL MY GIRL”
I scrolled quickly through the comments and story and no one has given the senator the proper, wonkette accepted designation.
Lindsay Graham (R-Closet). We’ve already had a purge, people. Get your act together or you might be next. We have standards to maintain.
Poor Lidsey: Perhaps we’ll find some room for you at the front of the bus. That’s where we keep the olds.
Since when is Graham an ‘everyday’ white guy?
Oh Lindsay, eat a huge bag of flaming dicks. Failing that, shove a lit firecracker up your anus because, let’s face it, that’s the only bang you’re ever likely to get.
My how times have changed. Remember Abe Lincoln? Now that was a closet queen who knew how to talk about race.
[re=332014]Min[/re]:
Being well off and from South Carolina, wouldn’t he have been raised by a plump African American woman? Or shouldn’t I be getting my history of the State from old movies?
The Senator was misquoted, he actually said, “Everyday, white gay.”
Linds is really secretly hoping she’ll legislate Barney Frank into giving him that colonoscopy all the teabaggers have been raving about.
[re=332128]Terry[/re]: I think his parents owned a bar. Which probably means he was raised by transient winos who molested him.
Death to whitey!
Presumably Lindsay views Sonia as his last chance to begin a nuclear family unit, and doesn’t want her distracted from raising their kids by spending too much time at the office. These fiery Latinas just drive men to irrational behavior, often.
As an average, everyday white guy, I am offended by Lindsay’s assertion that he is one of us. He is a wealthy Republican Senator, which puts him on an evolutionary scale between the fluke worms in my dog’s crap and the flies that circle the pile. Average, everyday white guys, don’t spend their work day fretting about Latina judges taking over the world and imposing La Raza rule upon the downtrodden white folk. We spend our day fretting about the below average wealthy white guy in the manager’s office, who oppresses us from 8 to 5 Monday thru Friday.
[re=332059]meg9[/re]: That’s an interesting point, that whole “well, how should a bunch of minorities feel about constantly having judgments made for them by a bunch of old white guys” thing but unfortunately the old white guys in the press don’t seem to ask the old white guys who are saying idiotic things this question.
Lindsay’s Dad’s name was Florence, go figure.
‘Being an average, everyday white guy, that doesn’t exactly make me feel good,’ Graham said.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Since when?
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