• February 14, 2012

Sorry for everything!George H.W. Bush periodically flings himself out of planes to mark the passing of another depressing half-decade in the twilight years of a disappointed old man whose presidency fell squarely into the “unimpressive” column until his son’s presidency showed us what unimpressive was really all about. What this troubled senior needs is not a squad of toothsome paratroopers to strap on his back, but instead a sympathetic ear to listen — truly listen — to his long litany of regrets, starting with how he should have had George W. Bush excised from his nethers before the unwanted growth had a chance to ruin America. [CNN]

{ 30 comments }

digibal235 June 12, 2009 at 4:25 pm

I thought he was older.

SayItWithWookies June 12, 2009 at 4:26 pm

Did he emit his trademark tinny arfs on the way down?

InsidiousTuna June 12, 2009 at 4:26 pm

I long ago decided that if I make it to 90 years of age, I’m flinging myself out of a plane at altitude sans parachute.

And aiming for a church.

facehead June 12, 2009 at 4:27 pm

I don’t get it, did he have a parachute or not?

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 12, 2009 at 4:28 pm

You know, when my Grandmother started doing stuff like this, we got her into a home pretty quick.

JohnnyMeatworth June 12, 2009 at 4:29 pm

The first sentence of this post is the best thing I’ve read all day. Bravo, SKS!

Scrodd June 12, 2009 at 4:30 pm

OH COME ON SARAH. You need to post the ENTIRE photo, so we can see the meth addict sitting on his lap.

Aurelio June 12, 2009 at 4:32 pm

“Why are the wicked always so strong? Tell me, brave captain.”–Abandon Ship, starring Tyrone Power.

Neilist June 12, 2009 at 4:32 pm

The last time Daddy Bush left an airplane in an emergency, he left his Grumman Avenger TBF crew behind to drown.

Some things never change, ya know?

paintitblack June 12, 2009 at 4:33 pm

I srsly doubt that poppy would apologize for anything ever, but nice try w/the Alt-Text. One can always dream on…

Uncle Al June 12, 2009 at 4:33 pm

When is somebody going to push Battleship Bar out of a plane?

19kevin8 June 12, 2009 at 4:34 pm

[re=338058]JohnnyMeatworth[/re]: I second that. Brilliant.

Aurelio June 12, 2009 at 4:35 pm

[re=338058]JohnnyMeatworth[/re]: I thought that opening sentence was overly long and discriminatory against persons living with ADHD, such as myself.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 12, 2009 at 4:36 pm

If you had to wake up to Babs’s wrinkled, Harvey Fierstein-in-Torch-Song-Trilogy visage every morning, you’d want to fling yourself out of a plane too.

[re=338066]Uncle Al[/re]: They’d have to rent out a C-130 for that load.

lizard scum June 12, 2009 at 4:37 pm

Still trying to play down that “wimp factor,” huh? Worked better when you could invade a country, but it put the wrong idea in your son’s head. In his case, invading Iraq was a less successful way to play down the “worthless cokehead black-sheep diminutive man factor.”

Yaybuls June 12, 2009 at 4:38 pm

G.H.W. and the chick in the “Free Chat Rooms” banner ad have strikingly similar expressions…

Crab1 June 12, 2009 at 4:41 pm

If I had to have birthday sex with Barbara Bush, I would jump out of an airplane too.

Come here a minute June 12, 2009 at 4:45 pm

Yes!! I’m not even an Old, but I think I will have something paratrooper shaped removed from my anus in a symbolic gesture honoring the wonder of skydiving.

Nerdalicious June 12, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Min June 12, 2009 at 4:53 pm

That old man must have some seriously strong bones. My 80+ year old grandmother fell off her walker and broke a hip.

dennymcden June 12, 2009 at 4:56 pm

I read that as ‘litany of egrets’, which is very different.

Bearbloke June 12, 2009 at 5:06 pm

Poppy was hoping to redeem himself by landing on Junior….

hobospacejunkie June 12, 2009 at 5:17 pm

I am no fan of this man’s politics, but how the wimp thing ever stuck to him is beyond me. The shit he did in WW2 at age 18-21, flying 58 combat missions, makes me feel cowardly just thinking about it. I was such a chowderhead at that age I shouldn’t have been trusted in an automobile, much less a plane with bombs in it.

Nevertheless, fuck you for your progeny, asshole.

dr.giraud June 12, 2009 at 5:20 pm

[re=338062]Scrodd[/re]: Or those photos in the NYPost Wednesday of an actress from A CHORUS LINE sitting on Poppy’s lap, and Lorenzo Lamas snuggling up next to Babs on the couch with his hand on her leg. (For realz. If the thought is horrible imagine actually seeing the pic.)

dr.giraud June 12, 2009 at 5:22 pm

[re=338145]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Because he didn’t show true Republican MANLINESS and stand up to those faglib tax-raisers. Bravery in combat only rates a “meh” from Grover Norquist.

hobospacejunkie June 12, 2009 at 5:33 pm

[re=338152]dr.giraud[/re]: My bad. I forgot he was surrounded by chickenhawks. And spawned at least one.

Nerdalicious June 12, 2009 at 5:41 pm

[re=338145]hobospacejunkie[/re]:
Hiya Hobo :)

S.Luggo June 12, 2009 at 5:42 pm

We have been inviting Poopy’s son (the dimmo one) to do the same thing for years, birthday or no birthday. Had George Jr. not abandoned his liquid diet he might have taken us up on this. Bombs away.

lawrenceofthedesert June 12, 2009 at 6:02 pm

Bush jumps out of a plane and gets feted; Spitzer slides out of a hooker and has to resign. Doesn’t seem fair.

hobospacejunkie June 12, 2009 at 8:12 pm

[re=338179]Nerdalicious[/re]: Hey there! Wish I knew how to rock the emoticons. I has a sad.

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