• February 14, 2012

Even as a baby, she was always practicing invidious discrimination!For about 25 seconds a few weeks ago, all anybody could talk about was the Puerto Rican separatist crusader Sonia Sotomayor, and her crusade to exterminate wise old firefighters by legislating from the bench. But then Iran and Twitter and holy shit, Republicans just going nuts all over the Internet with their hilarious historical jokes!, and everybody forgot about her. America, it’s time to remember again.

Judge Sotomayor belongs to a ladies’ club call “The Belizean Grove,” which sounds vaguely … homosexual? Apparently this group of very important and influential women meets periodically in exotic Central American locales for “a balance of fun, substantive programs and bonding.” Yep, sounds pretty gay! And sinister, just like its male complement, the Bohemian Grove.

Because the Belizean Grove does not have any MALE MEMBERS (see what we just did there?) it is probably practicing “invidious discrimination” against penis-having Earthlings, which is a sin, or at least, Supreme Court justices should not belong to such organizations.

Will Americans sit idly by and allow this sex-discriminator to trample all over the freedoms of men, who might want to be included in these ladies’ outings to Belize where they all get hot-rock massages and talk about foreign policy? And in Sotomayor’s confirmation hearing, will Lindsey Graham be the first to ask about this secret society with a hurt expression conveying his pain at being left out?

Sotomayor Defends Ties to Association [New York Times]

{ 38 comments }

ManchuCandidate June 16, 2009 at 9:50 am

The GOP should talk. They don’t allow any sane hetro males among their ranks either.

Monsieur Grumpe June 16, 2009 at 9:54 am

It’s a small tent but it’s tastefully decorated.

charlesdegoal June 16, 2009 at 9:57 am

Peter Wallace must be turning in his grave.

Cape Clod June 16, 2009 at 9:57 am

How would we know how this matriarcial exlcusionist would treat an average, everyday white guy if he were ever to appear before her, outside of the thousands of cases she has already ruled on?

hobospacejunkie June 16, 2009 at 9:57 am

At the hearings, Lindsey Graham will finally summon the courage to ask a fellow woman (Maria) if Lindsey is old enough to have his period.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 16, 2009 at 9:59 am

Linds has every right to be pissy and butthurt. After all, they’re denying him the opportunity to get serviced by a hot Belizean poolboy.

Bruno June 16, 2009 at 10:00 am

Ugg, sounds horrible. I’ll bet no man ever wanted to go on one of those massage therapy excursions, unless dragged there by some girlfriend. Guys want to go where they think they’re going to get laid.

doxastic June 16, 2009 at 10:00 am

Lindsay’s gonna plotz when he finds out about her “Curves” membership…

magic titty June 16, 2009 at 10:00 am

everyone nickname your vagina Belizean Grove right now, in protest.

hobospacejunkie June 16, 2009 at 10:05 am

[re=339641]Cape Clod[/re]: Exactly. There’s just no way to know.

Paterlanger June 16, 2009 at 10:11 am

Dear Lindsey, a “hot-rock massage” is not what you think it is.

Lazy Media June 16, 2009 at 10:12 am

Butthurt men need to get over not being able to join ladies’ clubs. Here’s how it works: they get to have their ladies’ societies, and we don’t have to menstruate.

ProfessorJukes June 16, 2009 at 10:13 am

Do lesbian hot rock massages have happy endings? I mean, if you tip well, obviously.

Min June 16, 2009 at 10:18 am

Because the Belizean Grove does not have any MALE MEMBERS (see what we just did there?)

You must be so proud.

My general fiction book club is all-female, so I guess I’ll never be asked to sit on the Supreme Court, either.

toooldtocare June 16, 2009 at 10:34 am

ah paradise…..a weekend of sharing stories and thoughts with people who really are interested in you (or pretend to be), relaxing without any toughts given to teh drudgeries of daily life and not having to answer to anyone. Belize? No I’m taliking about my house when my wife goes away on one of these trips

Airborne Toxic Event June 16, 2009 at 10:41 am

When did Lindsey Graham get a penis?

Internally valid June 16, 2009 at 10:46 am

Sexist, sure, we all knew that. But since when is she Belizean and not Messican? What else is she hiding?

thefrontpage June 16, 2009 at 10:57 am

Sotomayor also ruled in a federal case that anyone who is elected as the governor of Alaska should have an IQ above 70; legislators are looking at Sarah Palin’s status now.

liquiddaddy June 16, 2009 at 11:13 am

That is an old comedy still of the ventriloquist, Chico Menses and his wise-cracking dummy, “Lola” B-list performers of the Miami Beach lounge circuit in the early-50′s. Her catch phrase was, “Ayii, baby no likee!”

The Lucky Republican June 16, 2009 at 11:16 am

HA! Because Lindsey Graham is gay.

WadISay June 16, 2009 at 11:16 am

Because the Belizean Grove does not have any MALE MEMBERS…

Sotomayor has sentenced all the male members to penile servitude.

jagorev June 16, 2009 at 11:26 am

Holy shiat. Going on vacation with your girlfriends is now considered having “Ties” to an “Association”?

daisy chain June 16, 2009 at 11:27 am

[re=339646]magic titty[/re]: I’ve been calling my vagina that for weeks already, for reasons the divorce attorney says I shouldn’t talk about.

Extemporanus June 16, 2009 at 11:39 am

Maria Sotomayor: Change We Can Belize In

bfstevie June 16, 2009 at 11:44 am

Justice Sotomayor now wishes she’d joined the Federalist Society instead. It has no women on its Board of Directors, but apparently two women (out of 15) on its “Board of Visitors”. (They do not get to pass go, or collect $200.)

proudgrampa June 16, 2009 at 11:49 am

I would not join any club that would have me as a member.

Can O Whoopass June 16, 2009 at 11:55 am

John Boner had PMS and couldn’t be reached at the country club for a comment.

Lascauxcaveman June 16, 2009 at 11:56 am

[re=339691]toooldtocare[/re]: Yeah! Steak and eggs for breakfast every day. Hope my wife hooks up with one of these groups, and takes the kids with her. Make it a whole week, wifey.

Crank Tango June 16, 2009 at 12:02 pm

Maybe linds is jealous of the facials, also?

Sara K. Smith June 16, 2009 at 12:03 pm

[re=339739]The Lucky Republican[/re]: He was also the person who expressed concern that he, as an “ordinary white guy,” might be unfairly discriminated against by this Mexican lady.

pdiddycornchips June 16, 2009 at 12:04 pm

I so love it when white males get pissed off at the slightest hint they might be discriminated against. I feel like telling them, build me a turnip farm, let me rape your sister, sell your mother to my uncle, and we’ll call it even.

S.Luggo June 16, 2009 at 12:33 pm

So unlike the PC, all male Bohemian Club. http://www.modernhistoryproject.org/mhp/EntityDisplay.php?Entity=BohemianClub
If Lindsey got into the BC, he’d walk around with a throbbing hard-on all day.

TGY June 16, 2009 at 1:11 pm

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh……..

I wish I were a Sotomayor weiner!
That is what I…

Wait, I did that, already.

Hooray For Anything June 16, 2009 at 1:15 pm

Thank God she didn’t join a sorority or half the Republican Party’s head would explode in righteous stupidity.

Mr Blifil June 16, 2009 at 1:19 pm

I would like to be invited into their groves.

qaf June 16, 2009 at 1:49 pm

[re=339770]proudgrampa[/re]: Me, I would not join any club where my member wasn’t accepted.

octupletsmom June 16, 2009 at 2:23 pm

Not to be sexist or anything, but sometimes we really do need to get away from that half of the human race that has cooties.

natteringnabomb June 16, 2009 at 4:29 pm

Probably shemale MEMBERS.

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