- NAME THAT PUBLICATION: Zero dollars to those who correctly guess the crucial political digest that published this sentence today: “Drinking is not an uncommon thing for presidents, historians say.” HINT: It’s Politico. HINT: Even TNR is allowed to make fun of this publication. [TNR]
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historians say the darnedest things.
I can’t wait for Politico’s revelation that Obama poops.
WINNING THE AFTERNOON is an uncommon thing for right wing taint-licking publications.
We ridicule because we love.
Drinking is not an uncommon response to reading Politico. Still less popular than pained groaning, and suicide is catching up.
Oh, Politico. Once again you WIN THE AFTERNOON–and our hearts.
Can you imagine calling up some Rol-o-Dex historian to get this quote?
“Drinking was part of the Washington culture,” says Julian Zelizer, a professor of history and public affairs at Princeton University. “It was pretty common, and it didn’t raise any eyebrows.”
What’s up with that past tense shit?
“People are losing 5, 10, 20,000 dollars a day in the stock market, and he’s sitting there drinking a beer,” one caller said. “It’s insulting. There’s a lot of people suffering.”
Really — one beer. If I were him, I’d be lit.
Please. Washington grew the chronic at Mt. Vernon, and his applejack recipe was handed down to the Laird distillery, which still makes it (I will be purchasing a bottle this very weekend).
Grow up, Politico. Sheesh.
“Today on Politico, we ask: Does the President masturbate? Historians say such practices are common among Presidents. Harrison whacked off twice a day, while Lincoln famously fiddled with himself when delivering the Gettysburg Address. Nixon taped himself choking the Presidential chicken. Carter once used a sock in Camp David . . . “
“People are losing 5, 10, 20,000 dollars a day in the stock market, and he’s sitting there drinking a beer”
Wow, Mr. Missdapoint, you said it!
Drinkers, heavy: FDR, Jefferson, Washington
Drinkers, moderate: Clinton, Obama, Lincoln
Non-drinkers: Bush 43, Carter.
Draw your own conclusions.
[re=365395]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Hell I’d still be on the bender from parties on January 20th.
Inevitable Drudge headline: “Beerack Obottle!”
Another one, bartender. I’m in training to be the next President.
[re=365403]Lazy Media[/re]: Don’t forget President Rutherford B Hayes. Henry C. Adams, a prominent political journalist and Washington insider, asserted that Hayes was “a third-rate nonentity, whose only recommendation is that he is obnoxious to no one.”
Non-drinker, needless to say
I recall a certain Vice President “have a few beers” and shoot someone in the face, yet we see Politico bitching about petty shit.
Articles like this make me wish Hunter Thompson was still alive. He’d come up with a descriptive paragraph for that virtual rag that used the words “vile”, “evil”, “pig-fucker”, “Cazart!”, “lunatic”, “Seconal”, “muted whipsong”, “stomped”, and “Nixonian”.
The closest thing we have to HST these days is Matt Taibbi, and his viciousness towards idiotic politicians and journalists is just a fraction of what Hunter’s was.
Do the Politico dorks thinking his beer sipping was cool? Cool enough to make up for his poor pitch and ill-fitting jeans?
[re=365380]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]:
That’d be a real scandal. After all, Obama is president 24 hours a day, so that would be like taking a shit on the American people.
People are losing 5, 10, 20,000 dollars a day in the stock market…
I’ll drink to that!
Er, no, I take that back. I agree that Barack Obama should not drink until he’s fixed every problem in the United States. He shouldn’t eat or sleep, either. Sexytime is right out, needless to say.
Basically, he needs to pull a Gandhi, or really a Gandhi+1. Only then will we finally win independence from Britain.
“Drinking was part of the Washington culture,” says Julian Zelizer, a professor of history and public affairs at Princeton University. “It was pretty common, and it didn’t raise any eyebrows.”
“On the other hand,” Prof. Zelizer continued, “a half-breed Muslin terrorist swilling down malt liquor 40s after being Gorilla Glued to his chair in the Oval Office is, to my understanding, without historical precedent.”
[re=365410]Extemporanus[/re]: Thank you.
Jesus Christ, Politico – you’re quoting batshit crazy radio callers now? Callers who ignore the fact George W. Bush took more vacation than any president in history, and, when he was *working*, burned the planet to smoldering ash.
Way to go.
I just heard Walter Cronkite has died
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Cronkite
http://mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/17/walter-cronkite-iconic-anchorman-dies/
BREAKING NEWS!!!
Walter Cronkite: Dead at 92; Politico.com, Twitter.com/AKGovSarahPalin being held for questioning
[re=365445]Extemporanus[/re]: Jinx! You owe me a Coke…
A Class Act/Complete News Anchor Stud to the Very End:
Cronkite was married for nearly sixty-five years to Betsy Maxwell Cronkite, whom he married on March 30, 1940. They remained together until her death on March 16, 2005.
* * *
In late 2005 Cronkite began dating opera singer Joanna Simon, Carly Simon’s older sister. Of their relationship Cronkite stated in an interview for the New York Post in January 2006: “We are keeping company, as the old phrase used to be.”
To paraphrase Larry Holmes: Dan Rather wasn’t fit to carry Walter’s jockstrap. Or microphone. Whatever.
[re=365445]Extemporanus[/re]: OMG it’s like Michael Jackson all over again.
[re=365449]Neilist[/re]: He was dating some teeneebopper who was born after he got married, hunh?
Who says old Studs can pull a little young tail every now & then…
[re=365445]Extemporanus[/re]: How ’bout an ice cold bottle of beerack instead?
(Not really a jinx, by the way. You posted nice & clean; I posted late & without looking. You win the “Walter Cronkite Memorial Award for Story Breaking” fair & square.)
[re=365450]N.S.Sherlock[/re]: Cronkite was a drug-addicted kid toucher?! OMGSCANDAL!!1!
[re=365445]Extemporanus[/re]: Just got the NPR alert, and MSNBC has switched over. It is truly no time to be a celebrity. But it is a shame when death takes the noble ones. When I was a kid, Cronkite and John Chancellor were the news, and did a wonderful job with it. Now we get Bill O’Reilly shouting at people. It is certainly the passing of a different time.
[re=365450]N.S.Sherlock[/re]: I can’t wait to see the gospel choir at Walter’s funeral. When do you think they will have the lottery for the tickets?
[re=365452]Extemporanus[/re]: I’d rather inherit the class and intelligence of the late Mr. Cronkite, instead – but I’ll have a drink in his honor, although it’s just early Sat morn here…
[re=365455]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I heard Uncle Walt was into Grindcore, not Gospel, but I could be wrong… nevertheless, I’m going outside to drink, and see if there’s enough snow to make a Cronkite snowman…
Cronkite: A great man once read his TeLePr0MtErZ here… Now, there is only a test pattern.
I used to piss off my dad when I was a kid, for willfully calling him ‘Walter Crumbcake,” no matter how many times he corrected me.
RIP: CRUMBCAKE!
In other less relevant news:
Miss McConnell has put her foot down.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/18/us/politics/18court.html
NYT, July 17, 2009
Senator Mitch “Sissy Pants” McConnell of Kentucky [R-Pettycoat Junction], the Republican leader, announced Friday that he would oppose the nomination of Judge Sonia Guevara Sotomayor to the Supreme Court
It is interesting to compare coverage of something like this. It can’t be a surprise that Cronkite died, it was well known that he was in bad shape. MSNBC goes to a very detail obit piece that gave a good review of the man. FOX goes to a rambling weekend fill in since everyone else is out on a Friday in the Summer, who stutters through his bio trying to fill time before they get Chris Wallace on for a minute and then finally roll the obit vid.
I will say this about FOX though, they only called him a commie three times.
[re=365459]S.Luggo[/re]: Jealous Bitch!
[re=365456]Bearbloke[/re]: Wait, what? It’s Saturday morning where you are?
GOOD GOD, bloke! You’re from the fucking future and you didn’t even have the common decency to warn us that this was about to happen?!
No ice cold beerack for you, goddammit!
[re=365462]Extemporanus[/re]: Would you have me disrupt the Space-Time Continuum? Very selfish of you… I suppose you want to know what day you’ll die also!
Just wait a few months and we’ll all see Barry mainlining brown liquor.
Now that Cronkite has bitten it, who’s gonna be the voice of the giant owl at the secret location furry parties? OH noes!!111!
[re=365460]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Interesting factoid: the German word for “illness” is krankheit.
(Pronounced the same way as Cronkite.)
So – I see our Stern-yet-Just Wonkette Overlords are still too busy with their Daily Telepathic
OrgyCommunion and Amero-counting session to post a 7-SIREN DRUDGE-STYLE post heading… oh well, back to honour-drinking…[re=365464]Bearbloke[/re]: You’re from the future? Then you must already know everyone wants stock tips and lotto numbers.
Just to stay on-topic: I would like to drop bombs on the outdated, rusty assembly line that manufactures “republican outrage.”
[re=365466]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Have you cleaned the semen off the ceiling and walls of your hotel yet? We’re looking for a place to hold Cronkite’s wake…
[re=365457]Bearbloke[/re]:As long as the dancers are fly, I’m hip with it.
[re=365459]S.Luggo[/re]: In defence of Sen. McConnell, he is perfectly happy with the color maid he currently has.
[re=365468]Atheist Nun[/re]: Buy Distilled Liquor futures – Hold Ammunition – Sell Telcom!
Tortured writing is not an uncommitted crime for Politico, Wonketters say.
Litotes is not an unfailed mastery for Potitico, rhetoricians say.
Double negative is not an unsubtle flourish for Politico, Nooningtonians say.
[re=365465]nappyduggs[/re]: Our Barry is Nikki Sixx? So Michelle is actually Kat von Whateverthefuckkkkkkk? I need to take more drugs to deal with this.
[re=365461]Bearbloke[/re]: Senator Jim “There was confirmation hearing?” Bunning [R-Aricept, Ky.] concurs with McConnell that negroes should not be allowed on the Interstate Commerce Commission. They carry knives and sell jute cigarettes, he said.
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics/AP/story/1146508.html
Wait, didn’t Walter Cronkite die a couple of weeks ago? Or did he just take his death bed? My deepest sympathies go with his family.
My favorite memory of him is as the silky-smooth voice of Ben Franklin on Liberty’s Kids, the best cartoon about the American Revolution this side of The Hector Heathcote Show.
[re=365466]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: And, of course, being ill is the best way to pronounce German.
[re=365467]Bearbloke[/re]: Well, it is pass Jim’s bed time, and I assume that Sara is at some fabulous party while Ken is probably too drunk/stoned/wasted to climb out of his hidden fortress in the California desert.
Of course, that doesn’t excuse Juli or Riley. Slackers. Of course, they are probably not aware that there was an anchor of CBS news before Katie.
[re=365474]x111e7thst[/re]: Nikki Sixx is a fucking racist scumbag!
http://74.125.93.132/search?q=cache:DZ6gGL2dJ8cJ:www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,290429,00.html+%22nikki+sixx%22+racist+nigger&cd=3&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a
[re=365476]hoosiermama[/re]: That was a dress-rehearsal… Cronkite was a pro, to the very end…
[re=365477]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: The children were left to their own devices, hmmm?
So that means Juli is at the cinema watching Harry Potter, and Riley is microwaving a mellon with a hole drilled in it so he can emulate something he saw on XTube….
[re=365472]Bearbloke[/re]: Buy Distilled Liquor futures – Hold Ammunition – Sell Telcom!
Thanks, I will… As soon as I’m done drinking this bottle of distilled liquor, stockpiling my ammo and having phone sex.
[re=365471]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: She’s asian.
[re=365445]Extemporanus[/re]: I figured Cronkite would outlast the newspaper industry.
“Wearing shoes and socks is not an uncommon thing for presidents, historians say.”
When Cronkite said Kennedy was dead, I felt alright, because I assumed Walter was taking over
Spontaneous dancing, singing and NASA-faked-it moonwalking has broken out in front of the Apollo in Harlem for The Cron.
[re=365478]Bearbloke[/re]: The only things I knew about him was that he mainlined Jack Daniels and wentout with that tattoo artist Kat von Whatever
[re=365486]Paul Tardy[/re]: Almost, but 7 months short… so there, there’s the News from the Future [re=365462]Extemporanus[/re] and [re=365468]Atheist Nun[/re] were looking for… enjoy!
[re=365474]x111e7thst[/re]:
FUCKING.METAL.
Well, enough about Cronkite – here’s the real news: OCTOMOM!!!
Wow — so Walter Cronkite’s dead. And Tiger Woods missed the cut. These things happen in threes, you know.
Actually I never really thought of Cronkite as heroic or iconically representing the truth like a lot of people did — maybe because I never watched CBS News that often as a kid. My dad, for some reason, preferred ABC.
Anyway, no disrespect intended, but I’m glad we don’t have any “Most trusted newsman in America” anymore. My parents’ generation (and their parents’ as well) seemed a little too willing to be taken in by whatever a guy on TV behind a desk told them. For all the birfers and bitters and troofers (oh my!) I think in general we’re a more skeptical society than 40 years ago. It doesn’t seem fast enough, but it’s progress.
[re=365464]Bearbloke[/re]: Oh, I already know what day I’ll die. That’s but one of the benefits of well-planned murder-suicide.
However, if you could be so kind as to give me a hint or two regarding the murder victim’s identity, I’d be much obliged. My Excel doc of deserving candidates is rather unwieldy, and growing more so by the day.
[re=365498]SayItWithWookies[/re]: So are suggesting that Katie Couric is going to choke to death on a misfired golf-ball? C’mon Mate, she’s got a better gag-reflex than that!
[re=365501]Extemporanus[/re]: Only if you can run 128-bit Office 15 with the holographic interface…
I think the $7.5 million ‘experimental’ digital media program at ASU named after Cronkite did him in… Experimental news? Gah!
[re=365497]Bearbloke[/re]: It was the kid that was eating the other kid from time to time; he ingested some tiny balls.
This is what killed Walter Kronkite. And that’s the way it is.
[re=365512]BobLoblawLawBlog[/re]: He always gave the date after his sign-off:
And that’s the way it is, July 17, 2009.
Oh, crap — I just realized we’re now going to be bombarded with waves of obsequious (to a dead person!) Cronkite-at-the-Pearly-Gates cartoons.
[re=365505]Bearbloke[/re]: Office 15? Office 15?! SHIT!
That extremely disheartening bit of information tells me two things about the future:
1. Based on Microsoft’s rate of releasing software updates, you live in the year 3012
2. The “blue screen of death” means that personal jetpacks continue to be a thing of fantasy
Oh well, I guess at least we’ll still have Brawndo.
I just realized the one good thing about Cronkite’s passing. Politico lost the day!
So, any bets on how many Republicans will reveal their very Christian affairs or quit their jobs now that cable news has a new bone to play with?
Sigh…snarkless for Walter Cronkite. Teared up when I was a wee college freshman and he signed off for the last time, teared up and smiled just now when I read this comment at the NYTimes blog: “RIP, Mr. Cronkite. you helped make me the news junkie I am happy to be.”
Cronkite did this nice NPR piece about the art of the obituary back in 2006.
Cronkite news coverage is going to be at least twice that of the Michael Jackson coverage because, if it isn’t, the media would be admitting that they went way overboard on the Michael Jackson coverage. Again, sucks to be Honduras.
Sigh….why do I *do* this sort of thing to myself?
I just HAD to go and see what the Freepers had to say in memoriam
Grumble…
[re=365420]lizard scum[/re]: No. Nothing could make up for those mom jeans he was sportin’. Even Politico knows this
“Beerack” is actually how you pronounce his name in Chicagoese.
BTW, Politico is to news what Keanu Reeves is to acting.
[re=365533]DoktorZoom[/re]: Wow — I may not have been impressed with Uncle Walter, but that stuff — well. I was amazed that Schlussel thinks that one person in a television studio could’ve singlehandedly defeated the best-trained and best-equipped military on the planet. She obviously believes that perception creates reality, and that if only some more prominent people had been saying we were winning then it would’ve come true. I don’t know who this Debbie Schlussel is, but it’s time her mom took away her ruby slippers and got her a training bra.
But then I had to go and read this comment:
Not entirely. The VC and NVA were defeated militarily at a much greater cost of lives than was necessary in part because of traitors like Uncle Walter. Nevertheless, they were defeated. In fact, the VC ceased to exist as a fighting force after TET. But the collapse of South Vietnam and its army occurred after American troops were gone because of the traitor liberals that controlled the government after the 1974 Congressional elections (Watergate and all that).
Oh, of course. We actually won the war. That’ll show up in the history books any day now. Because the Vietnamese people, who fought against the Chinese for a thousand years, the French for a century, and the US for twenty years, were just going to cave after losing 18,000 soldiers in a fierce battle that almost caused South Vietnam to implode. Because if history has taught us anything about the Vietnamese, it’s that they’re an acquiescent people who would like nothing more than being ruled from afar by a colonial power that treats them brutally. QED.
[re=365545]SayItWithWookies[/re]: An exhaustive documentation of Ms. Schlusslesssleeeslsschelulsel’s ongoing atrocities can be found at the incomparable Sadly, No!.
Pour yerself a stiff one, and then go there now.
[re=365545]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Is this not the big lie that gave birth to all the lies that have formed the core of the republican party since Viet Nam? That Walter Cronkite and the liberal media somehow “prevented” our vaunted military from victory. Don’t hear much about the domino theory though…. I’m sick and tired of being right about everything.
[re=365568]engulfedinflames[/re]: Really? I’ve found it’s my friends who are sick and tired of me being right about everything. Obviously your friends are much more gracious about being wrong.
Careful, Barry. A beer or two at a ball game is fine, but don’t go getting sloshed at some major event, like say for instance the Olympics in China, or those photos would be all over the place, 24/7.
[re=365581]SayItWithWookies[/re]: friends? I find that people seem to avoid me. I’m good with my animal pals though.
[re=365482]Bearbloke[/re]: I was previously unaware that there were so many people videotaping themselves fucking melons. I’m not sure if I should thank you for bringing me this knowledge, which I can now never un-know.
for gods sake somebody save the mellons.
One Canada is more awesome than the US. The one major fact every Canandian school child knows about their first Prime Ministe is that the whiskly-loving father of Canada rolfed on the floor of parliament during a speech and then just kept going.
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