• February 13, 2012

Hey baby where's yer birth certificates?LIVEBLOGGING DR. OBAMA’S SEX CHAT, 8 PM: If the teevee works, your editor will deliver hot live medical sexblogging tonight, starting at 8 p.m. Eastern, when Surgeon General Barack Obama will actually be “born again” on prime time and sign his own birth certificate authorizing a new moon base completely constructed from the corpses of “birthers.” Do not miss it!

{ 49 comments }

Tommmcatt July 22, 2009 at 5:55 pm

Hoo, yeah, the straight boy commenters are gonna have a heyday with THAT image.

LittlePig July 22, 2009 at 5:55 pm

If that is the new look of health care I’m all for it.

(don’t want to disappoint, TC)

Joshua Norton July 22, 2009 at 6:00 pm

Ten bucks says Chuck Todd asks the dumbest question. Again. Probably something about Waterloo or blue jeans.

Snarkalicious July 22, 2009 at 6:04 pm

Incorrect. Birthers are American, and therefore unwise to use as the sole building materials for such an ambitious stimulus construction project. In order to avoid sparking a trade war, we will purchase 40% of the cadavers to be used from China.

smartypants July 22, 2009 at 6:06 pm

I will be abandoning my family to participate. I will be drinking one or two cocktails made from that fabulous Military Vodka. As well (the new also).

Bearbloke July 22, 2009 at 6:10 pm

Maybe someone tonight will ask N0bama about the arms he had to break to get Sen. Graham-Cracker to announce his “support for Comrade Sotomayorski, despite her obvious and insurmountable racial handicap”… did Sotomayor’s socialist Nuyorican transvestite goons ‘discover’ some incriminating pix of ‘Miss Lindsey’ letting her hair down in some back alley during Wigstock 1994-2005?

you cannot be serious July 22, 2009 at 6:11 pm

M-O-O-N. That spells birther.

Humpback July 22, 2009 at 6:12 pm

[re=368359]Snarkalicious[/re]: And thus precipitating the fabled Chinese Moon War.

Tommmcatt July 22, 2009 at 6:12 pm

[re=368364]Bearbloke[/re]:

I never noticed it before. Lindsy Graham IS The Lady Bunny!!!!

Cicada July 22, 2009 at 6:12 pm

I am a little sad that this will be the highlight of my day. Oh god, what have I done with my life?

Neilist July 22, 2009 at 6:14 pm

I think those photos amount to Racial Profiling. Something about White Womyns or something.

[re=368364]Bearbloke[/re]: “some incriminating pix of ‘Miss Lindsey’ letting her hair down in some back alley . . . .” Oh, thanks BUNCHES

CrunchyKnee July 22, 2009 at 6:20 pm

PharaohBama: …and let them make bricks without straw! Strike that, we’ll use their corpulent corpses as bricks…muuuhahahahahahahahh, on the moon, also too!

denner July 22, 2009 at 6:26 pm

Sometimes I just love u so much Ken, for the jokes and all the hate inside of you that you make into love for us like making precious diamonds. I can’t wait to watch the POTUS.

finallyhappy July 22, 2009 at 6:34 pm

[re=368357]Joshua Norton[/re]: I’m betting on the washington times- If B calls on them again. The guy will bring up abortion. I will be right and all of Wonkette will owe me a drink.

Miss Lindsey is hoping she can be BFF with Sonia.

chascates July 22, 2009 at 6:36 pm

Will he call on Fox News? Will HuffPo be suggested a topic to ask about? Will Helen Thomas look like a gargoyle?

shortsshortsshorts July 22, 2009 at 6:38 pm

Another evening press conference?

Here comes the funcooker.

AliBabaInBA July 22, 2009 at 6:45 pm

[re=368364]Bearbloke[/re]: Hmmm…
Perras malas, probably, but “goons”, NUNCA!

hobospacejunkie July 22, 2009 at 6:45 pm

The Three Little ‘Tards from the time-before-cable networks will each ask a variation of the same concern troll question in their never-ending quest to prove to the birfers & trufers & gun nuts that they are in no way, shape nor form liberal by any accepted definition of the word. In other words “MISTER PRESIDENT, YOUR POLL NUMBERS ARE DROPPING AS WE SPEAK WHEN CAN WE EXPECT YOUR RESIGNATION???”

Also, thank you, Ken, for tonight’s entertainment.

Snarkalicious July 22, 2009 at 6:47 pm

[re=368366]Humpback[/re]: Only when those low-down, dirty, commie decievers reanimate the corpses they send by remote and take over the moon with a RED ZOMBIE ARMY!!!! (copyright)

Hooray For Anything July 22, 2009 at 6:52 pm

Meh, unless Obama starts the press conference by throwing out the severed heads of Jim DeMint, Max Baucaus, and half a dozen lobbyists from Big Pharma, I don’t care. Besides, Michael Jackson’s doctor’s office got raided by the PoPo today so I doubt the news channels even care.

Skwerl Nutz July 22, 2009 at 6:54 pm

[re=368391]Snarkalicious[/re]: No worries EATR will eat all the corpses in its way and dem damn commies. also.

Holding Out for a Hero July 22, 2009 at 6:56 pm

Is it bad that I read the title as “Liveblogging Dr. Obama’s Sex Tape”? Because damn, it would be ON!

Oh I forgot, I’m not supposed to find him hot anymore since Barry wears “mom jeans”. Actually that will work out fine. It disturbs me on many levels to have impure thoughts about the President of the United States (or his Chief of Staff for that matter).

Johnny Zhivago July 22, 2009 at 6:58 pm

I hear he’s turning over the government to Hillary Clinton to avoid the Second American Revolution.

NYNYNY July 22, 2009 at 7:01 pm

Oooh, don’t say “constructed from the corpses of birthers”- you make a me horny!

Say it again.

SmutBoffin July 22, 2009 at 7:05 pm

“Few were psychologically prepared for the global destabilization brought about by the revelation of the (later-impeached) President Obama’s Indonesian citizenship, including the Birthers themselves. The collapse of the Bachmann/Paul Congressional Combine (BPCC) was also a severe blow to the political morale of the Birther Junta, who were by that point firmly entrenched in the leadership of the Houston-Richmond Co-Prosperity Axis. Recovered blog comments from the period indicate that vast numbers of those in the Birther movement were suffering from the debilitating mental condition now recognized by cyber-neurologists as fucktardation.

In this respect, their eventual reassignment to the United Nation’s Lunar Expatriation/Bioconcrete program appears to be a quite natural circumstance.”

–Excerpt from A Quantitative Psychohistory of the Great Moon War by Thomas Friedman XII, Simon & Shuster & Palin, 2019

NYNYNY July 22, 2009 at 7:09 pm

[re=368359]Snarkalicious[/re]: Note: many birthers are not really American. Not American-American. Exhibit A: their leader, Orglee “Ayn” Taitz, a russian-born russian-accented dental lawyer. Research would show many of the the others are Canadian.

chascates July 22, 2009 at 7:16 pm

[re=368393]Hooray For Anything[/re]: For $2500 you can attend ‘Camp Baucus’ later this month and enjoy horseback riding and hiking. A ‘trip for the whole family.’ No word if you can actually meet Baucus but there will no doubt be a lot of Big Pharma and insurance company types to hike or horseback ride with.

Extemporanus July 22, 2009 at 7:17 pm

If anyone’s looking for a way to kill some time before tonight’s sex ed filmstrip, you should head on over to Google Moon and spend some time looking for a good location to build Birther Base 1. Mare Tranquillitatis looks pretty good to me, for the irony.

You can also install a 3D viewer (w/ multi-media content) in your Google Earth app, and then scope things out from the comfort of your lunar lander or rover. Tons o’ fun, and helpful for planning resistance strategy in advance of the upcoming Chinese Moon War.

WEREWOLVERINES!

Accordion-o-rama July 22, 2009 at 7:24 pm

[re=368409]Extemporanus[/re]: Can’t we build it on the dark side so we don’t have to look at them every day?

smartypants July 22, 2009 at 7:29 pm

Um, I believe the dark side has been reserved for The Family.

Delicious July 22, 2009 at 7:31 pm

Is this a special episode of Tyler Perry’s House of Payne?

AliBabaInBA July 22, 2009 at 7:34 pm

[re=368409]Extemporanus[/re]: Really, I’d prefer we just use them as rocket booster fuel.
Besides, I like looking at the Moon; I’d for that to change.

Extemporanus July 22, 2009 at 7:36 pm

[re=368411]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Maybe we could just build The Wall on the The Dark Side of the Moon, to the keep the Chinese out.

AliBabaInBA July 22, 2009 at 7:38 pm

[re=368415]AliBabaInBA[/re]: I’d HATE for that to change.
Too much malbec… more coming.

Tommmcatt July 22, 2009 at 7:39 pm

[re=368411]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: [re=368409]Extemporanus[/re]:

See, and what, exactly, would be wrong with Mars? How about Neptune? Uranus? Much farther away! Think outside the box, people!

Hooray For Anything July 22, 2009 at 7:43 pm

[re=368400]SmutBoffin[/re]: That’s a great book, especially the part where Friedman says that the next six months are going to be critical

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 22, 2009 at 7:52 pm

I am personally celebrating by having Beef Wellington and Napoleons for dinner.

chascates July 22, 2009 at 8:02 pm

Where’s the Live Blog?

Cookie Guggelman July 22, 2009 at 8:02 pm

[re=368424]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: What about Lord Salisbury’s Steaks?

freeatlast July 22, 2009 at 8:05 pm

Live Blog? Me no seeing…

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2009 at 8:06 pm

He had me at good evening.

DustBowlBlues July 22, 2009 at 8:07 pm

Hey–did Ken just set us up and figure we’d sit here and entertain ourselves so he could kick back with a brew and watch an old movie in peace? That sucks!

John Thune July 22, 2009 at 8:08 pm

Please. If Obama really spent any time reading letters in the oval office he would resign immediately. I’ve seen what constituent mail looks like.

Extemporanus July 22, 2009 at 8:10 pm

[re=368417]Extemporanus[/re]: Speaking of which, I give you “Another Brick in the Wall-E.”

ChorusofOne July 22, 2009 at 8:16 pm

Watching this boring news conference now. Is he wearing opalescent eye shadow?

Scandalabra July 22, 2009 at 8:19 pm

If those were “Mom Jeans” sign me up for POTUSMILF!

Mr Blifil July 22, 2009 at 8:54 pm

Today we are all Bangable Holloween Nurses.

hobospacejunkie July 22, 2009 at 10:01 pm

[re=368578]Mr Blifil[/re]: Cowabunga!

S.Luggo July 22, 2009 at 11:40 pm

[re=368357]Joshua Norton[/re]: Why must you relegate Chip Reid to the second rank?

[re=368413]Delicious[/re]: No. Better writing. And not a ripoff of “So, Raven.” Plus fewer jolly, morbidly obese black people doomed to heart failure and stroke by Diabetes 2.
JMO.

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