• February 15, 2012
SORRY GOP BUT THE AARP RUNS AMERICA

by Ken Layne

1:16 pm July 28, 2009

Yeah but is Hawaii even a *state*?BARACK OBAMA SEXES UP THE OLDS, WITH HEALTH CARE! AARP, the shockingly powerful old-person lobby, is about to have Obama entertain the retired peoples with a live webchat! We cannot embed the video here, so go watch it with the early-bird dinner crowd and report back with spy info! It starts at 1:30 p.m. IT’S ON, LIVE, NOW! CALL IN! [AARP Barack Obama Q&A]

{ 33 comments }

the problem child July 28, 2009 at 1:19 pm

Well, let’s hope the olds will get it done. Funny how they vote, and all.

ManchuCandidate July 28, 2009 at 1:19 pm

This webchat will not end well as most of the aged populations of Florida and Arizona will be frantically looking for the Any Key.

rambone July 28, 2009 at 1:21 pm

I hope Barry’s “Soylent Green” alternative goes over well.

user-of-owls July 28, 2009 at 1:22 pm

How long do you suppose the President will wait around before he realizes that no one is on the other end because, after cursing the damn complicated AOL dialup for a while, all the olds gave up and turned Matlock back on?

Larry Fine July 28, 2009 at 1:22 pm

Obama should make sure he talks very loudly for the hearing impaired old folks. Those guys using sign language waving their fingers and arms just scare the elderly.

Smoke Filled Roommate July 28, 2009 at 1:22 pm

The music is helping me to embrace my inner senior.

populucious July 28, 2009 at 1:22 pm

Giving the olds any power or say in this makes as much sense as letting them decide what schools get funded. Whatever we’re working on now wont benefit them so why should they give a rip? They’ll ask Obama incisive questions about whether his new plan will make their Viagra cheaper, starting tomorrow, cuz they got a hot date with Rhonda, and when Obama says sorry, no, they’ll go back to not caring.

AARP- they only have a vote cuz we let them.

Don Juanquete July 28, 2009 at 1:24 pm

Uh yeah. AARP. Members include Madonna, Prince, Michelle Pfeiffer, Keith Olbermann, Aidan Quinn, Brian Williams….

Larry Fine July 28, 2009 at 1:24 pm

[re=372480]Larry Fine[/re]: Does Obama have super-sensitive hearing – because he has those big ears that stick out and should trap incoming sound waves.

Rev. Peter Lemonjello July 28, 2009 at 1:24 pm

it’ll be worth the watch to see the old mummy farts clutch their purses when Matlock’s image is replaced with a nagra’s.

ForTheTurnstiles July 28, 2009 at 1:24 pm

Damn your black heart, David Axelrod. This is brilliant. He’ll sell it well until someone asks him about racial profiling and his friend “Skip”…

shortsshortsshorts July 28, 2009 at 1:26 pm

But Fox & Friends said Barry wanted to kill off the olds with health care reform…. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE PEOPLE. Why all the conflicting information?

user-of-owls July 28, 2009 at 1:30 pm

[re=372482]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: I hope, 1) your inner senior is of legal age; and 2) you are not his/her high school teacher.

WhenTheMessiahComes... July 28, 2009 at 1:32 pm

I WORK AT AARP AND HE JUST ARRIVED IN THE BUILDING…I CAN FEEL THE HOPE RISING!!!!

TGY July 28, 2009 at 1:35 pm

Sarah Silverman might have to do another Great Schlep…for Health Care.

slithytoves July 28, 2009 at 1:38 pm

The olds rock. My 75 year old mother, who has an iPod and Wii, is out buying a Prius today. Then she’ll eat some ice cream and take a nap. I want to be old.

hobospacejunkie July 28, 2009 at 1:38 pm

[re=372483]populucious[/re]: I must respectfully disagree. Getting the AARP on board would be a master stroke from Hopey. Why he is only having an online chat rather than visiting them in person is a mystery. You sell them they will spend their retired time badgering their representatives until it passes.

JadedDIssonance July 28, 2009 at 1:39 pm

errr. ouch. errr. i’m an old. errr.

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 28, 2009 at 1:40 pm

[re=372503]WhenTheMessiahComes…[/re]: That’s not just the hope that’s rising…

Also, OLDS + grass skirts + one too many Mai Tais = Senior SEXYTIME. There, now everyone’s lunch is ruined. MOO HA HA.

snideinplainsight July 28, 2009 at 1:45 pm

[re=372519]JadedDIssonance[/re]: These commenters. They’re southerners.

GIJoeIce July 28, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Is anybody watching this? Why is he on the Jerry Springer set?

Rev. Peter Lemonjello July 28, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Is he holding this feed at the Improv?

finallyhappy July 28, 2009 at 1:48 pm

[re=372486]Don Juanquete[/re]: ME- also. He spoke to AARP last year via a link because he was campaigning-while we were here in DC.

El Pinche July 28, 2009 at 1:49 pm

Live AARP blogging!! Comeon! I’ll make crumpets and tea.

The olds are the key to health care. Barry you sly devil , you. Now I know why the republicans call you “arrogant.” It’s all penis envy, my man.

4tehlulz July 28, 2009 at 1:54 pm

>>But Fox & Friends said Barry wanted to kill off the olds with health care reform….

It’s a little-known fact, but Foxtards have a difficult time pronouncing “Max Baucus”.

freakishlystrong July 28, 2009 at 1:54 pm

I can’t hit that site, are there any olds on there? Here in Florida it’s dinnertime.

Hooray For Anything July 28, 2009 at 1:55 pm

I thought the NRA ran America?

Extemporanus July 28, 2009 at 1:58 pm

Does anyone know Joe the Plumber’s number? My digital converter box ain’t working, and I can’t see a goddamn thing!

Manos: Hands of Fate July 28, 2009 at 2:04 pm

Nobama needs to crack open a cold one on stage to really get the dialogue going.

TGY July 28, 2009 at 2:04 pm

[re=372561]Hooray For Anything[/re]: No, you’re thinking of either the Shriners or the Rosicrucians.

Extemporanus July 28, 2009 at 2:06 pm

[re=372518]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Why isn’t he selling them in person?

The grim reaper rides on stale winds ripe with the overwhelming stench of decay, fluids, and fear. You wanna avoid getting stuck in a room full of that shit whenever possible.

WhatTheHeck July 28, 2009 at 2:17 pm

The olds should move to Alaska. I hear its beautiful an all, where sourdough rains down on the ice roads. And when you get really old, a grizzly eats you so there’s no medical/funeral expense.

TGY July 28, 2009 at 2:32 pm

Y’all are right in a way. Old age isn’t for sissies.

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