Remember the month of June, the month that happened a couple of months ago? The very best part of June was when a certain lovestruck Southern governor departed for a five-day solo Father’s Day hike in the woods and returned warbling about the Argentinian sparkin’ thing, much to the embarrassment of his spokesman, who had been assuring people he was on the Appalachian Trail.
So how, if you’re that spokesman, do you come back from a PR triumph like that? You announce you’re going to quit your job and “start your own business,” which is what all unemployed people say they are doing while they sit around in their underwear until 2pm watching Days reruns on the Soap Network.
But not working at all is surely preferable to working for a douche like Mark Sanford, who was just an awful pain in the ass from Joel Sawyer’s very first day on the job:
Sanford approached Sawyer — then a reporter with The (Spartanburg) Herald-Journal — shortly after winning election in 2002, hiring him as a speechwriter. Sawyer, who said he agreed with Sanford nine times out of 10 on issues, started the day after Sanford’s first State of the State speech. It drew criticism for a reference to Turkish leader Ataturk, whom many blame for the first modern genocide of Armenians and Christians.
Sanford’s preference to improvise speeches, Sawyer said, made life difficult as a speechwriter.
Congratulations, Joel! Today you leave the Sanford administration for good. May your PR consulting days be long, prosperous, and free from extemporaneously flatulent assholes.
Sanford spokesman ‘ready to move on’ [The State]
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Agreed 9 times out of 10 on which South American country had the best poony-tango. I guess the boss won that argument.
‘Sanford’s preference to improvise speeches, Sawyer said, made life difficult as a speechwriter.’
Not to mention the fact that he’s a lying, philandering, sanctimonious, hypocritical asshole. Writing for someone like tha make life difficult for a speechwriter too.
The slickest PR guy/gal in the world wouldn’t want that job. Although Rush might be able to coat that pile of dog poo into a bed of roses.
I’ve been hoping Stanford would resign and dedicate himself to writing romance novels.
Sanford’s preference to improvise speeches, Sawyer said, made life difficult as a speechwriter.
Funny, his wife said something similar: “Sanford’s preference to improvise sexytimes with Argentine whores,” Mrs Sanford said, “Made life difficult as a wife and mother.”
[re=378763]Terry[/re]: Sparkin’ in Buenos Aires
Best possible picture for this article. Well done.
[re=378763]Terry[/re]: Bodice-rippers. Hubba.
My ex-husband was a reporter for The Herald-Journal in Spartanburg. Trust me when I say it’s not exactly a breeding ground for the stars of the future.
My ex’s editor liked to run ads in Editor & Publisher for pretend jobs, just to get resumes. He’d point to stacks of resumes and say, with glee, “Look what I’ve got!” He acted as if the responders were suckers.
Most awkward moment during my time in Spartanburg: Watching the movie Shag, which is set in SC, in a theatre in Spartanburg, and a character says something along the lines of: “I’ll be damned if I’m going live my entire life only to die in Spartanburg, SC!” A very awkward and prolonged silence followed in the theatre.
Hold on, Sanford made a reference to Kemal Ataturk in a state-of-the-state speech? I can’t believe there are 21 people in SC who have any idea of Ataturk is. That should have been the first warning.
[re=378774]Katydid[/re]: which isn’t to say, of course, that everyone who works there now sucks. Just that management did at one point. That is all.
A Sanford story! This is how I know I haz the luv from Wonkett. Not the resignation I am looking for – but still a Sanford story. My day is never fine without a Sanford story(unless Palin divorces or a Fox “news” person dies)
If you agreed with him on 9 out of 10 issues, then you must be a bit of a shitstack your own self. Jumping ship now may enable you to have a career in the future, but it won’t make you any less of a shitstack.
“which is what all unemployed people say they are doing while they sit around in their underwear until 2pm watching Days reruns on the Soap Network.”
They’re called Snuggies and they’re good till bedtime!!!
[re=378777]V572625694[/re]: That is just too loopy. I am getting vertigo just trying to imagine a context…any context…in which an Ataturk reference would somehow make sense in a South Carolina inaugural address. “And as the great statesman Kemal Ataturk once said, ‘Kill the Armenians.’”
It’s madness, madness I tell you.
Oddly, Sawyer resigned to be the new spokesman for Sarah Palin!
[re=378812]user-of-owls[/re]: Well, it’s true you don’t see that many fezzes in South Carolina, except when the Shriners are on parade.
And what’s the deal with all that Muslin/terrorist imagery the Masons/Shriners steal? Henngh?
[re=378777]V572625694[/re]: What, was Sanford hiking the Appalachian Trail along the Bosphorus, too?
He was on the Appalachian Trail. The Appalachian Trial of Lurve.
Good gord, I can’t believe I actually wasted 30 seconds of my life googling that inaugural talk – but I did. The reference to Ataturk is a bit hyperbolic for a state governor’s inaugural address, but it’s nicely followed by a comment about, uh, Argentina, and how it needs some “help”:
http://www.statelibrary.sc.gov/scedocs/G746/000244.pdf
Oh come on, there was no Armenian genocide. Just ask the Turks. Or the US Congress. Both deny it, though only the US Congress has gone on record with a vote.
[re=378862]One Yield Regular[/re]:
“The transforming effect of C-Street-style Family Leadership? Look at Turkey. When their leader overturned the Ottomans, as well as the Hassocks and End-Tables, he turned Republican and, as he put it, ‘moved against those people.’ His reforms were so dramatic that within a decade, he’d produced the grossest, nationalist product a great country can bring forth: a highly successful genocide. That’s why I give him a hearty ‘Ataturk!’ In a similar vein, Argentinean women are smokin’ hot, and we are not sparking with them nearly enough. That will change in my administration.”
Why Attaturk, you ask? Obviously Sanford and his PR man were thinking of taking the same radical, revolutionary steps in SC that Attaturk took in Turkey. Think it over. Wouldn’t it be a lot easier for Sanford to get some action on the side under a secular government than under SC’s traditional theocracy?
[re=378828]V572625694[/re]: True, but you have to admit, their itsy-bitsy car bombs are just adorable.
[re=378862]One Yield Regular[/re]: You’re a braver, stupider person than I. The latter being quite an achievement; the former, nothing to put on your resume.
[re=378977]Chet Kincaid[/re]: Tesekkür ederim.
I hear that Joel is working with Tyler Perry to script the story of Rodell Vereen, the South Carolina man who had sex with the horse.
“Joel was always in sync with the governor’s thinking and message.”
This means merely that they shared the same waxer.
Dear Sanford, Conservapedia is not your friend.
Ataturk came to power more than 5 years after Enver, the neurotic psycho who believed he was the second Napoleon, was done with Armenians. Ataturk won a national independence war against several European countries who had invaded the country after WWI. He opened a national assembly,founded a secular republic, held elections, abolished the sultanate and the caliphate, gave the women the right to vote and to be elected, banned wearing veil, and more than doubled the literacy rate within about a decade, not to mention the fact that he changed the script, the calendar, the measuring system and the entire educational system within the same period. He also adopted an Armenian kid, who later grew up to be the first female war pilot in the world (in the Turkish air force). He died of alcohol induced liver cirrhosis in a beautiful palace during his presidency.
Enver was killed in the Caucuses fighting his wingnut cause.
[re=378797]finallyhappy[/re]: My day is never fine unless Rachel talks about The Family. I’m actually starting to get hot for Jeff Sharlet and he has, like, whatever is the opposite of star power.
We unemployed resent this. I’m starting a business, sitting in underwear, and reading Wonkette. Asshole. No Days for me.
Actually, the Armenian massacres were engineered by Sultan Abdul-Hamid II and then by his brother, Sultan Mehmed. Attaturk came to power after both of them were dead.
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